[ A Letter To My Child - Part I ]

Dear Son,

The date is 20th July 2010 and if everything goes smoothly, you will witness the world in 3 months time.

I don’t know when you will be able to read this.
Maybe in a few years time,
Maybe when you are older and perhaps bump onto my website while you surf one day.

I don’t even know your name yet.

Daddy & Mummy just want to let you know that having you is the greatest thing that ever happened in our lives.

The first time when I realized that your mum was pregnant, I was too lost for words.
Fear and uncertainty soon creeps upon me slowly.
What was I suppose to do?

Am I financially capable of giving you the best education like the rest of the kids?
Am I able to guide you as you learned your first lesson?
Sometimes I wondered how my own dad overcame his anxiety, he probably don’t care anyways.

Your mum was not really well during the first 3months while you had you.
All she ate was only porridge and vegetables.
No matter how hard I tried, she just couldn’t fill herself up.
I think I was really fanatic as I’ve had her go on many blood tests to ensure everything’s ok.

I bought her a notebook and asked her to write the journal of your growth, she would carefully slot in those ultrasound photos of you and write her thoughts about it.

She won’t let me look at it.
“It’s a Mother to Son thing” she said.

Soon the 4th month came and your mum got better every day.
The ever-slim tummy of hers grew bit and bit as you slowly grow.

We moved into our own house during her 5th month.
Your mum would do her best to help out in the house moving as she would not let me single-handedly do it myself. She walked over 1 kilometer from your grandma’s place carrying our pillow and bed sheet.

Your mum is always alone at home with you as she’s not working. She would still do house chores and laundry while I work late. Despite how tired she looked, she would always cook something for me when I reached home at night.

We would then lie on the bed and talk till the wee hours about the stuff I did and what she do for the day. You seem to love to kick at her at 11pm she said.

As I ventured through this mystical ride, an unexplainably huge stress laid upon me.

I need time & money but I have none.

I had to work longer hours, always looking for other source of income to supplement the family.
As I worked longer hours, it would also mean that my time for your mum is less.

I had to borrow from people & banks, something which I never thought I will do in my life.
We had to sacrifice for each other and had to spend our money wisely.

Despite all these situations, we never once said we are going to give up.
I never will.

My Son,

You will grow up one day,
You will experience your first fall, you will realize pain is something that you don’t like.
But you must remember to get up and move on.

Life is not about moving but falling.
All of us learned from falling because it’s the first thing that happened when we started to walk.