Friday, June 20, 2008

Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密




Chapter 8




Are you an outward person or do you prefer to keep things to yourself? Do you smile very often as you work or study?

There are people who I’ve met who are always happy and never fail to share their happiness with anyone around them. To these people, happiness is lighting up the spirit of the person who is next to you.

Unfortunately, these are only a small fraction of the people I know. The rest are well, less happy about their life.

A big pool of people I know told me it is a lot easier to be sad than to be happy. Life is miserable they say, every day living is a torturing feat they feel.

Waking up each day thinking about yesterday’s problems, then you will likely to face today’s problems and before you know it, you are already thinking about tomorrow’s problem.

You are just so sick about life because you feel that life is nothing but doing repeated task everyday and of no significant meaning.

But have you ever realized that despite all the same task that you are doing each day, everyday is different?

You can take the same route to school but you will meet different people, there will be different things happening in school. Your friends might cracked a new joke which made you knees weak, your teacher might be sick and the whole class would erupted with joy.

You can take the same bus to work but you would realized the girl whom you eyes always glanced is wearing something different today?
There may be different things happening in the workplace as you might get a new colleague or a new boss.

As you lay down on you bed and recall, take a step backwards and ask yourself this question?

Did you made someone sad today?

I believe there are times in our life where we will say or do things that hurt others. The worst thing that could happen is when we don’t even realize what we’ve said or done wrongly.
We will only feel the sadness that cast upon us but never realized how much sadness we inflicted onto others.

If you did, you should apologize…

Finally, what is happiness & sadness to me?

It is after all, how we choose to think.

You can choose to be happy everyday, if you think everyday life is an exciting and happy process.





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The faint moon light casted upon a shadow that lurked upon the darkness, quietly waiting for the desire one to appear. An hour had just past from his descend from the flat above.

The shadow then heard some sound coming towards his direction.

“Damn… I think I brought too much stuffs”

The shadow moved towards his objective.

“Janet?”

Janet turned many times as she was shocked by the calling.

“Who’s there?”
She thought for a moment and found the voice familiar.

“Adrian?”

Adrian walked towards the lift.

“Yeah… It’s me.”

“Oh my… You sure freak me out.”
Janet let out a faint smile.

“Hey… I heard about your dad from Jolynn. Is he ok?”

“Oh… he’s fine but has to stay in hospital for observations though. That’s why I can sleepover at Jolynn’s place without anyone bugging me.”

“It’s great to hear that your father’s fine.”
Adrian wasn’t sure how to get on to the conversation.

“Hey… you came down all the way just to ask me this question?”
Janet shot him.

“Yeah… as soon as I heard from Jolynn that your father is hospitalized I was so worried but I didn’t know what to do… so I just came here to ask you everything.”

Janet patted on his shoulder.

“Thanks, I really appreciate that.”

Adrian kept his head down.
“It’s nothing really…”

“Well I gotta go upstairs, Jolynn is waiting for me.”
Janet turned her back against him and started to walk off.

“Janet?”

“Huh?”
Janet turned but was shocked that Adrian held on to her hand.

“Do I still have a chance?”

Both of them exchanged glances.

“I… I don’t get you.”
Janet shook his hand off.

“Janet, you should know you’ve always been the one I’m waiting for.”

“Adrian, I don’t know… and I don’t want to know anything about it.”

“Why can’t you just give me a chance?”

“Because I don’t trust you…”

“Have you ever tried giving me a chance to trust me for once?”
Adrian pleaded.

“I….”
Janet could not hide her feelings towards Adrian any longer.

“Please trust me?”

“I have to go…”
Janet turned and walked as fast as she could, leaving Adrian behind.
She stepped into the lift and pressed the buttons immediately.

Jolynn was waiting outside her flat when Janet reached.

“Hey gal, what took you so long?”

“Nothing… I couldn’t make up my mind what stuffs to pack.”

“Heehee, you are really funny. You’re only staying here for a few nights but you looked as if you are going to stay here for good!”

Jolynn cheekily said as helped carry her bags.

“Oh yeah, I certainly wished I could stay here for good!”
Janet replied as they entered the bedroom.

“You want any snacks? Let me see if there’s any cake left in the fridge. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable?”

Jolynn walked out before Janet could reply.

Janet laid her stuffs at the corner of the room and roamed around. It wasn’t her first time at Jolynn’s place but things sure looked different when you are staying over at someone’s place.

Janet noticed a towel lying on the floor near the bed. Janet picked it up and looked strangely at the towel.

“Janet, I brought you some cakes”
Jolynn entered the room with her eyes startled.

“Jolynn, this towel…”
Jolynn grabbed the towel from Janet before she could ask anything.

“Those are my cousin’s towel!”
Jolynn put up a huge smile on her face.

“Oh? Your cousin was here just now? The towel seemed wet.”

“Yeah… He always drops by our house to take a shower after his game at the nearby sports hall. It’s so embarrassing. ”

Both the gals just giggled at each other.
Janet finished her snack as the two of them watched a sad movie together. It was over 2am when they finally decided to sleep.

As Janet lay beside Jolynn, she looked out at the clear sky from the window.

“Jol?”
“Yeah Jan?”

“How do you know if you are in love with someone?”

Jolynn thought for a moment as she closes her eyes.

“When you are prepared to sacrifice anything for that person, you will know he’s the one that you love.”

“So love is all about sacrificing?”
Janet turned and looked at Jolynn.

“I guess so… that’s what the show always end up doesn’t it? The guy or the gal will have to give up something for the ones they love”
Jolynn replied.

“What if you were the only party that is sacrificing?”
Janet asked.

“What if he… does not sacrifice anything for you at all? Is this still call love?”
Janet continued.

“If you really love that someone, will you even let the person sacrifice for you?”
Jolynn shot back Janet.

“I guess not… but if I don’t let him sacrifice for me, how do I know if he really loves me?”

“Come on Janet, we are only fourteen year old girls… how much do we know about love?”
Jolynn seemed to lose her interest in the discussion before she continued.

“Jan, I guess when you love someone, you will sacrifice for him and will not let him sacrifice for you. If he does love you in return, he will do the same thing. When both of you have so much thought for each other and prevent each other from sacrificing... then no one will be hurt after all….”

There was a long pause for the two girls are both of them were in deep thoughts.

“I guess you are right Jol.”

“Yeah… I hope I’m right too…”

“I… saw Adrian just now…”
Janet spoke with a soft voice.

“Jan, you still love him right?”
Jolynn asked.

“I don’t know…”

“You can tell me… am I not your best friend?”

“I’m very happy when I’m with him… He is a very nice and caring person but…”

“But?”

“But… I don’t know whether I will sacrifice for him and whether he will do the same thing for me or not.”

“Jan… don’t think too much ok? If you think he’s the right person then he’s probably is the one”
Jolynn consoled her.

“I just wanna sleep for now…”
That was the last sentence Janet said before she fell into a deep sleep. All the even that happened today has almost drained all her resources.

Jolynn pulled up the blanket and cover Janet. She then stared at the ceiling thinking few hours ago.

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“Jol… can I come over to your place?”
The voice of the receiver was low and husky.

“Adrian.. Is that you?”

“Yeah it’s me… can you open the door?”

Jolynn was shocked by the reply and went to the door immediately.
“Adrian, why are you here?”

“I… just don’t know where else to go to…”

“You are full of alcohol smell.. Oh my god, why were you drinking? You are not even reached the legal age for drinking.”

Jolynn helped Adrian to her room to avoid waking her parents up.

“I’ll get you a towel…”

There were tears that fell from the edge of his eyes as Jolynn wiped his face.

Jolynn moved herself closer to his face.

“I’m so sad… no one bothers about me.”
Adrian cried out softly.

“No… I’m here…. I bothered about you…”

Jolynn laid a peck on his cheek as she wiped his face.

Suddenly Adrian hugged her and the peck lead to a passionate kiss between the two of them as they started petting.

The sound of the mobile phone interrupted their passion and prevented further advancement.

“Hey Jol…. What took you so long?”

“Oh… eh… nothing I was in the bathroom”
Jolynn tried to catch her breath.

“I’m coming after I packed my stuffs… let’s have a memorable gal’s night later!”

“Sure….see you later…”
Jolynn put down the phone and turn her attention to Adrian who was wearing back his shirt.

“Jolynn… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have”

Jolynn looked at him.
“It wasn’t your fault… but can I ask you a question Adrian?”

“Huh?”

“What does Janet have that I don’t?”

“Nothing… both of you are as pretty and out-going”

“Then why do you only liked her? What about me? Am I not even in your heart a single second?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about… but I need to make a move…”

Adrian walked out of the room and left her house.


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“What is it you have that I don’t?”

Jolynn let out a sigh as she continued her long series of thoughts.

Finally there was a conclusion.

“If there’s something that I cannot get… I will make sure no one else gets it…not even my best friend…”

[To be Cont]