Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密


Chapter 6


The two of you were quiet as there was nothing much to say over an incident that nobody wanted. You could sense that something, somewhere, somehow is wrong when you looked at her.

As you look at the person in front of you, she did not say a word but just kept her head down. Suddenly you heard some sniffing sound as you saw her tears start flowing down from her cheek.

How did you felt at the moment?
A tingling feeling right inside your heart perhaps?

There could also be this sense of awkwardness that ran through you as you continued to look at her reddish eyes. You tried to ask her what happened but there was none replied.

How did you felt when the girl whom you liked cried in front of you?

I would say it’s one of the most painful feelings that could happen to anyone. You would feel helpless as there’s nothing you think you could do to help her.

Somehow you would always ask yourself whether you are the reason which she is crying about.

Was it something I said? Was it something I’ve done?

Guys with their rational mind and attitude will always look into the deepest truth to understand why his mate cried. If there’s a problem then we should resolve it. If there’s a mistake then we must correct it, they say.

How often do we find ourselves trying too hard to solve a problem that linked to a series of misconception?

If you ask me what I would do in front of her.
I would probably wait… and then hand her a piece of tissue.

I won’t ask her why she is crying. It’s not the reason that made her cry that matters; it’s the attention that you gave her that she is yearning about.

And I would probably tell her… “Don’t worry, I’m here.”




Photobucket

“So… what is it that you want to show me?”
Edwin walked closer to the pond.

The pond looked rather old and natural. From the looks of it, it didn’t look as if there was anyone maintaining it.

Edwin was surprised to see a pond in the middle of a park or in his sense the surrounding trees made it looked like they were in the middle of a jungle.

“I bet you never know such place exist right?”
Janet looked at her frightened friend.

“Yeah…”
Edwin walked towards her as both of them sat near the edge of the pond.

“I used to come here when I was young… with my mum”

“Uhuh…”
Edwin nodded.

“My mum would bring me here during the weekends, just the two of us.”
Janet looked at the pond.

“She would sit there and recite stories to me throughout the day where the trees practically shade us from the sun.”

“It must have been really nice”
Edwin too looked at the pond and pondered.

“You know why she brought me here?”
Janet suddenly asked.

Edwin shook his head.

“She once told me that this is the place where he proposed to her. It was the happiest day of her life.”

Edwin paused for a moment and sat down beside her.


“Everything changes when he was promoted to Director; he seems to care more about his work than us. He always come back after ten and hardly speaks a word to my mum before turning to bed.”

“Maybe he has his own stress at work?”

“I don’t know, I only know it’s wrong to ignore the one you love. No matter how tired you are, the tiredness will be gone the moment you see your love ones.”

Edwin looked down.

“Perhaps that’s the reason why his father was always smiling when both his sister & him comes back from school.”

“Tell me more about your mum?”
Edwin sudden suggestion led to Janet’s surprise.

“I… I just want to know how it feels to have a mum”

“Edwin, I’m sorry.”
Janet took a deep breath.

“It’s ok, just tell me”

“Most people I know are closer to their mothers than their fathers. Maybe mothers are natural care givers who constantly watch you grow. Their job is not only to feed and dress you when you were young. They watch over our every move as you grow. They beat and scold you when you do the wrong things and yet every beating hurts them more than you.”

Janet took a pause to look at Edwin who stared at the pond before continued.

“Mothers always tell you what is right and what is wrong and they always expect you to follow their rules…”

“They would always tell you that you won’t know how they feel till the day you become a parent yourself. This is what my mum used to tell me.”

“She’s like a good friend, a confider whom I have absolute trust in telling her everything about what happen in school, which guy I had a crush on and how my friends treat me unfairly and no matter how many times I complain to her, she would always listen readily.”

Janet stopped talking as she could not control her own emotions.

“Jan, you ok?”
Edwin looked at her.

He was shocked to find her whole body trembling and shivering. Before he moved closer, Janet let out a wail and burst out crying.

Edwin wasn’t sure what to do next.

“Was it my fault to make her cry like this? It’s all my fault…” Were the thoughts that circulated his mind as he looked on.

There was a sudden reaction in him that prompted him to move closer to Janet and wrapped his hands over her shoulders.

Janet just lay on his shoulders and continued crying.

“I really missed her… really really missed her and I really really hate him so much for ruin this family.”

“It’s ok, I’m here…. Don’t worry.”
Edwin patted her back as she smothered.

After a while, Janet had calmed down and she held her head up.

“Feeling better?”
Edwin asked.

Janet just nodded and that brought a smile to his face.

“Janet, Can you promise me something?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t cry in front of me again.”

Janet was taken aback by the request.

“Why?”
“Because I just don’t like to see people cry. I love to see every one of them happy in front of me. If you have any problems, you can tell me I will surely help you.”

Edwin smiled.

“You are so heartless and lack of emotions”
Janet smacked his head as she stood up and moved on.

“Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Ok…”

Edwin stood up and brushed himself.

“Don’t cry in front of me…. because it hurts me so much every time I see a tear dropped from your eyes…. It hurts even more when I’m the one who made you cried.”

Janet stole a glance at Edwin who was clumsily following behind as they walked out of the forested areas.

“Thank you… Nobody has ever said that to me…”


The two of them walked out and took a bus.

“Let’s go shopping!”
Janet pressed the signal for alighting.

“Shouldn’t we do some revision?”
Edwin pointed to his bag.

Janet glared at him.
“You say you’ll help me with anything right?”

“Yes…?”

“I want to shop now!”
Janet folded her arms.

“Ok… but we have to revise after you get your stuffs ok?”

Janet was busily trying out clothes, shoes, bags, cosmetics, wallets, dress, accessories, more shoes, more bags and practically everything that can be put on a girl.

Edwin was carrying her bag for her as she tried on her stuffs.
There was a loud melody ringing through her bag.

“Hey Jan, I think there’s a call incoming”

“Can you take a look who is calling?”
Janet was still in the changing room.

Edwin found her phone.

“The number is not inside your phonebook.”

“Then help me answer it will you? Damn I’ve grow fatter.”

“Hello?”

“Janet, this is Elane, your father’s in hospital now! He suffered a heart attack.”

“Sorry can you repeat that?”
Edwin wanted to make sure.

“Who are you? Did I call the wrong number?”
Elane was shocked by the male voice at the receiving end.

“No no. I’m Janet’s friend. She is busy now so she asked me to answer this call on her behalf.”

“Then ask her to go to SGH A&E now!! The doctors are still trying to revive him. Just bring her come at once. I will call again.”

Elane hung up before Janet came out of the changing room.

“Damn… I think I have to go on diet. So who called?”
Janet walked out with a dissatisfied look on her face.

“Janet, Elane just call. Your dad is in SGH now. I think he suffered a heart attack and they are still trying to revive him”

The clothes fell onto the floor as Janet took the news with a stunned reaction.

Both of them rushed out of the shopping center and managed to hitch a cab easily as it was not rush hour. Inside the cab, Janet was all stone and speechless as the taxi along the expressway.

Edwin held onto her cold hands and tried to calm her down.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Janet didn’t say anything but just keep looking out of the window.

“I’ve no feelings for this guy.”
Janet suddenly spoke.

Edwin looked at her in shocked but never dare asked her why she meant that. He was her father after all.

There were total silent for the next few minutes.

Edwin was still holding her hands as it started to tremble. There was a sudden voice in his head as he looked the worrying face of Janet.

** Dad… Please don’t leave me…**

“Janet…”

“Yeah?”

“Did you say something just now?”
Edwin asked as he was 100% sure he heard that statement.

“Nope…Why?”

“Nothing…”
Edwin too broke out in cold sweat as they arrived in the hospital.

“What took you so long?”
Elane called out to them as soon as she saw them arriving.

“What’s his situation now?”
Janet asked impatiently.

“I don’t know… doctors are still inside with him.”

“Shit! How did all these thing happen?”
Janet kicked a chair and created a commotion.

“Relax… relax… cool down…”
Edwin grabbed her hands…

** Dad, I’ll promise to be a good girl…. Please pull through… **
It was the same voice again…


[To be Cont]

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being there alone when your mate at their lowest point meant more than many words uttered to comfort her.
The presence brings sense of assurance and security that can't be describe with words. =D

Anonymous said...

Being there alone when your mate at their lowest point meant more than many words uttered to comfort her.
The presence brings sense of assurance and security that can't be describe with words. =D

isabelleteows said...

I am literally crying...sometimes your friend cries and you don;t know what to do but to lend them a comforting shoulder.No words needed...sigh...i love your story...