Monday, October 01, 2007

Book of Love 爱神の书



Chapter 29


What do guys know about love? I find it rather funny when female friends asked me this question. In their mind, they always felt that guys don’t know anything about love.

Even if they do know about it but they never seem to be emotional towards anything. I don’t think it’s true. I find guys are as emotional and sentimental as any species of any kind.

Maybe the fact of us being born as male species requires them to be dominant.

Ego, pride, whatever you name it. The feeling does not allow others to recognize them as the weaker kind that falls into wheels of emotion. In a relationship, the role of the male is to protect and possess the female as so to say.

Being protective means you have express yourself as mentally strong and not swayed into temptations. But not all guys are like that. As far as I know there are a couple of them who gets all emotional during a quarrel.

Guys do cry when they are sad. It’s a lie if they tell you they never cry before, for there’s nothing chauvinist for a man to shed his tears but for a fruitful course that is. Adults cried quietly, trying to hide the attention of those weary eyes.

I cried many times in my life, sometimes over silly things, sometimes over a sad movie, sometimes over a failure, sometimes over a relationship. But if you ask me whether I have cried before, my answer would most probably be a straight no in your face. But if you ask me what I know about love.

My answer would surprisingly be a ‘no’ too. All I can only tell you that love is a remarkable experience that only you alone can feel when it hits you.

Everyone’s definition and impression is different and there’s no right or wrong to it. There’s no logic or rational thinking towards love.

There’s only how you feel that leads you.

That’s why people always say “go with your heart” in a relationship.

A relationship is not measurable with any formula or logical explanation. If you like a person, you will really like him/her despite all the bad points that he/she has… and even you yourself won’t believe what decision you have made. When that time comes, you’ll know that you’re in love.

This is Love, all irrational and unbelievably true.

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A drop of sweat fell across the face of Mark as he stared at his computer. It was already late at night and he had sent Jade back after dinner.

Mark was still thinking about his blog as he covered his face with his hands.

What happened?
Was it imaginative all along?
Was he suffering from some mental illness?

There was no way that those comments were gone just like that.

“Nobody else will know about my tagboard password… unless someone hacked into my account?”

Internally, Mark felt better with the theory of hacker if not he would have been seen as nuts.

“Oh well…. Whatever…”

Those were his last thoughts as he closed his eyes to sleep.

Time pasts as fast as the calendar was shaded.
Three weeks had passed and Mark hasn’t blogged since. However he would still check his tagboard to see if Psyche would leave a message.

But there weren’t any at all.
Mark & Jade got along more often other that the daily meet up before work. They would go out for her indulging shopping spree and spend time learning to cook soup from his mum.

They would still play their little game of ‘fate’.

Jade would not tell Mark which part of the train she was and Mark had to guess it. It’s most unusual that throughout the few weeks, Mark would get it correct every time.

Even though Mark doesn’t really believe it, maybe ‘fate’ really existed after all.

The atmosphere in the office however was as dead as a graveyard. Shaun was no longer himself as he would sulk at his desk all day. Mark didn’t know any reason except maybe Shaun was unhappy with his promotion.

Christine would always be there at eight-thirty and be home by six. Other than the usual conversations over work, she hasn’t talked much since.

“Hey guys, let’s go for lunch.”
Mr. Lee broke the office serenity.

“Boss, what for?”
Mark raised the issue.

“Oh… you guys forgotten? It’s Christine’s last day today.”

“Oh yeah…but I’m meeting some clients for lunch later. I gotta call them to cancel the meeting.”
Mark responded while trying to look for their name cards.

“It’s ok Mark, work is more important...”
Christine replied while looking at Shaun & Mr. Lee.

“So where are we going?”
She continued.

“Well… I’ve booked a table in a restaurant down town. The whole local sales team is joining us too. Francis personally wanted that because he felt you’ve done a great job during your stay here.”
Mr. Lee replied.

The four of them left the building but Mark was heading another direction.

“How did I forget about it?”
Mark scrutinized his low memory brain as he drove off.

It was already three when Mark returned from his lunch meeting. He saw Christine doing the final packing of her files.

Mark walked up and tried to strike a conversation.

“So… how’s lunch?”

“Lunch’s not bad… The restaurant really lived up to its fame.”
Christine replied without even looking at him.

“Oh…it’s a pity.”

“So how’s the meeting?”
Christine asked back.

“Oh… everything went smoothly. They were please with our proposal for the rework and I will bring two engineers down to their factory next month.”

“Oh… that’s really great.”

Suddenly the conversation had become so formal. Mark knew the topic had ended and he had to think about another topic fast.

“Ehh… so where’s Shaun? Didn’t see him since I came back.”

“Shaun? He’s on half-day leave today.”

“No again? Oh man He had been taking lots of leave and mc lately.”

“You better take care of him then, talk to you later I have to go and sign off my clearance.”
Christine left her table and walked out.

Mark then went back to his desk and looked at the small wrapped package that he had in his hand.


Christine had gone to human resource for her exit interview and a brief meeting with the sales and finances team. She was back in office just before six.

“Yeah… the timing is just right.”
Christine thought to herself as she walked towards her desk to pick up her files.

“Chris…”
Mark called out.

“Yeah?”
Christine turned back.

“I wanted to give you this…”
Mark took the present from his desk.

“For?”

“Well… it’s your last day and I… just want to thank you. Over the years, you’ve helped me a lot. I’m grateful to have a colleague and friend like you.”

Christine took the present from Mark.

“Thanks…. Mark…”

“So when are you flying off?”

“Tomorrow, morning flight at eight.”
Christine tried to divert her attention elsewhere.

“Wah! Why so fast? Didn’t you have to report to their main office here first?”
Mark was shocked by her reply.

“The Vice President is going back to the French HQ tomorrow and he asked me to join him in the flight.”

“Oh… guess I don’t even have the chance to treat you a nice dinner…”
Mark mumbled to himself.


“Yeah… I’ll be at home with my parents.”

“Ok… next time when I go France for tour, you must be my tour guide!”
Mark suggested.

“Sure…”
Christine tried to clear her throat.

“All the best in your life and career! Don’t forget me arh! When you reached there must stay in contact through msn.”

Mark wished her.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

Both their eyes met finally.

“Please take care of yourself…ok?”

“I will… Chris….”

Christine then dashed out of the office as she could not hold back her tears any longer. Her emotions had overtaken her rational behavior as she sniveled her way out to the car park.

Christine stayed in her car and cried her hearts out with her head resting on the steering wheel. She had never felt so hurt in her life and she was crying so hard that she finds it difficult to breath at times.

What was she crying? Who was she crying for? Was she crying for herself or somebody else?

Christine didn’t know for sure. It seems like leaving a person was bad enough, the fact that she won’t know when the next time she would see him again wrecked her heart.

In the end, she still couldn’t pluck up her courage to tell him. To tell the person whom she had sleepless nights over. To tell him that she liked him all along and how much it means to her that he would ask her to stay.


“Maybe we’re fated after all…”

Christine composed herself as the tears began to dry. She then started the engine and drove off.

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“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
Jade looked at Mark as he didn’t eat his share of dinner.

“Oh… nothing. Just that today was the last day of a much closed colleague.”

“So…? You can always meet up for dinner.”
Jade said while she stirred her soup.

“She’s leaving for France tomorrow. I guess she’s going to stay there for good.”
Mark too started stirring.

“Orrrh!!! A female colleague!! I think you are in love with her. That’s why you can’t bear for her to leave.”
Jade teased him.

“Don’t be crazy lah. People already got boyfriend, moreover her boyfriend is my buddy at work.”

“If she’s single… would you date her?”
Jade asked in a spike of moment.

“If I date her, then I won’t date you already.”
Mark teased Jade back.

“Wah…. It’s because she’s attached then you asked me out… You heartless creep!!”
Jade complained.

“All the explanation will only get more complicated!”
Mark sighed.

As both of them continued to have their dinner, a moment of thought did came across Mark’s mind.

“What will happen if Christine was single? What would I do?”

“Crazy thought!”
Mark told himself as he looked at Jade smiling at him.

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It was seven-thirty in the morning when Mark opened his eyes and looked at the clock.

“She must be in the plane now.”
Mark thought to himself as he got up.

“Êtes-vous Mlle bien Christine?”

Christine was looking at the window when the Vice president asked whether she was alright.

“Yeah, Je suis bien”
Christine replied that she was fine.

As Christine tried to look for her lip palm, she felt a box-shaped object within her handbag. It was the present that Mark gave her yesterday.

Christine looked at the present for awhile before she slowly tore the wrapping paper.

----------------------
“Ah boy…”

“Yeah mum?”

“You came back late yesterday. There’s a parcel delivered to our house yesterday. It’s in the kitchen.”

Mark scratches his head as he heads for the kitchen.

The parcel had no return address except the fact that it was sent out from Italy and attention to Mark Lee with his current address.

“Funny… I don’t remember having any clients from Italy.”
Mark brought the parcel to the living room and began tearing the wrapping.

-------------------------

Christine stared at the present in her hands. She had thought her tears had dry up but it didn’t.

A tear flowed down her cheek… then another….

The tears fell onto the box with a pen inside.
It was the pen which Christine secretly gave to Mark when they were in China, except this was the female edition.

“It’s the same pen….”

As the plane took off its wings, Christine covered her mouth for she didn’t know what to say.

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A hard covered book showed itself as Mark finished tearing the parcel. The book was very thick and looked very old and dusty.

As Mark cleared away the dust, wordings appeared.

“Libro da Amore…”

As he cleared the lower portion of the cover, more words appeared.

Do you know love?

Psyche…



[To be Cont]