Chapter 16
You’ve known him for a period of time. He’s a cheerful guy who never stops making you happy. You feel he’s going to be the right guy for you. You don’t want to let this chance slip away into the hands of other predators prowling.
You find one good day, arrange a good setup for a 4 coursed dinner.
Despite the rejection of your female buddies, you still decided to go for it.
Then when the moment comes, you expressed your thoughts to him.
He looked at you, smile and later laugh it out loud. He treats it like a big surprise that hits him hard and tries to ignore the fact that you had always liked him. He finds tons and tons of excuses to avoid the start of the topic that he knew it would be pointless.
You felt down, cried at times knowing that life was at your lowest at this point. You felt as if the world begins to turn their backs on you. You used to remember, he was the one whom you needed when you were in doubt, and he was the one who pull you up when you’re down. These images may not happen again.
Now you asked yourself “ Is there anything wrong in telling the person you like that you like him? “ why must it always happen to you… why can’t you be with the one you loved most.
The time is way past midnight, you find that sleeping isn’t that easy anymore, tossing and turning on your bed is getting frustrating. You try to get up, sit back and think of the past relationships you had.
Some were meaningful, some were tragic, but in all of them, you had always put your true feelings and treasure each and every moment. You try to work, hoping that you won’t think of him that often...
But then again, the more you don’t want to think of him, the more of his images appeared in front of your mind. You then took up drinking, trying every means and ways to immune yourself but every morning all you’ll get is hangover and make your life worse.
You finally asked yourself
“Is it worth it? To feel so miserable over him?”
Mark was rather surprised that Sharon had already chance upon his blog.
He returned the tag.
“Ironically, I won’t know whether I’m in love with someone until the day I lose her. When two persons are together, they see each other everyday, it then becomes a norm.
The relationship will roll become going out for shopping trips, catching the latest movie and to go for a getaway holiday.
Slowly it becomes a habit… to see her everyday.
But you won’t know if you are seriously in love with her or simply need her because of your habit… until she left you.
This is when you know you are in love.”
Sharon replied.
“I don’t know whether I’m in love now.”
“You will know it one day; hopefully the person is still there when you realized it.”
“Hopefully…”
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Mark spent the rest of his weekend at the hospital. He knew Jade would be alone if he didn’t. He continued to bring the soups for her and bought a few books to kill her boredom.
Jade did get better after a few days of rest but her words became lesser after that night. The conversations they had were merely a yes-no question and answer session over the weather and some current affairs heard over the news.
Jade would sometimes stare at the book without reading. Then her tears will flow. Mark could only wipe off the tears for her every time he sees this.
There was so much he wanted to tell her.
To ask her to stop thinking about the past that was already over.
To ask her to think in a more rational way.
So what if she had kept the baby? Will it do more harm than good?
Will the baby grow like normal children?
But every time Mark took a step back, the relationship between them was not as close as he thought.
The only thing he could do was to wipe away her tears and hope that one day it will stop flowing.
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Jade was due for discharged on Monday afternoon after the doctors were satisfied that she was well enough.
Mark sent a sms to Christine to apply for urgent leave before he left his house to pick Jade.
“Are you ok? Need any help over anything?”
The reply came almost immediately.
Mark didn’t reply her as there was nothing she could do except to stop asking about why he had to take leave.
As Mark was dealing with the discharging paper works, one of the staff nurse approached Mark.
“Sir, we are all sorry over the incident for Ms Jade and the child. She needs you the most during this period. No doubt she will throw a lot tantrum but she needs all the attention you can give.”
Mark wanted to clear the misunderstanding; that he was not her husband after all. Somehow He decided not to, simply because it will only stir more unnecessary queries.
Some misunderstandings are better kept unexplained.
Jade was discharged on Monday afternoon and was given 5 days of medical rest.
Mark sent her home via a cab to Bukit Batok. Jade’s mother was very happy when she opened the door but her happiness was rather short-lived.
“Jade, what happen to you? Why do you look so pale? Something happened to you?”
Mark tried to cut into the conversation.
“Ehh.. Auntie, you don’t know. Though our conference lasted few days but we had to rush through the night to get our packages done. Jade already had two sleepless night already! Of course she will look pale!”
“Wah… nowadays company really make you worked like a dog.”
Jade’s mother helped carry her stuffs in.
Jade just walked into her room and close the door behind her.
Mark was left standing in the living room with Jade’s mother.
“Yeah Auntie but our company is not bad too. They give us a week’s off so we’ll only need to go back office next Monday”
“Ok.. That sounds better. Let me get you something to drink.”
Jade’s mother turned and walked her way to the kitchen.
The two of them had a small talk over Jade. Jade’s mother was more curious about Jade’s working environment and colleagues. Mark can only base on his accounting friend’s experiences on the good and bad sides of work place.
Then Mark asked Jade’s mother,
“Auntie, you know Jade’s boyfriend Don very well?”
Jade’s mother was not prepared for this question as she was quite taken aback. She paused for awhile before continuing.
“Don and Jade knew each other since primary school. Don used to live opposite block of us and he would go to school with her everyday. I don’t know whether it was fate or simply a joke from heavens that both of them had to go through the same primary, secondary and junior college together.”
“Jade was so in love in him that she waited for him to finish his National Service before enrolling for university together.”
“Wow Auntie… that really makes the script for a soap opera.”
Jade’s mother took a sip.
“Although my girl is very quiet and sometimes people complained about her lack of interest in enjoying life, Jade is a cheerful person every time she is with Don”
“They even planned for marriage two years from now. Then not long ago, Jade came home very late one night. I waited for her, her eyes were swollen. I knew something was wrong.”
Mark looked into his cup.
“You know, all mothers carry a special bond with their child. They can sense the happiness and sorrows that you carry in you. You know you are sick or not.
You are not in your mother’s womb for ten months for nothing you know. You ate what she ate, you drank what she drank.
However as her child grows up and face problems of their own, there are times when the mother can only watch. Because her child had display a “Do not bother me as I’ve already grown up” signal.
Boys will want their ego, girls will want their privacy. This is something that mothers have to live with. We can only pray that they will overcome their problems themselves.
I know my girl is very sad now. I suppose her relationship with Don is already over. I choose not to ask, I prefer to let her hug me and tell me one day.”
Mark’s eyes were reddened by this.
Their conversation halted when they heard the sound of door closed from Jade’s room.
Jade had been listening to them.
“Auntie, I guess I’ll be going. It’s late and I need to go home for dinner”
Mark reached home and found his mother cooking at the kitchen. He looked at her from afar. She had really aged over the years. The wrinkles surrounding her eyes had made her eyes looked smaller.
When was the last time he had a proper look at her?
“Ma, I’m home.”
Mark said.
Mark’s mother turned and smile.
“Ok, dinner will be served shortly.”
“Thanks Ma”
Mark went over to give his mother a hug.
“Thank what? The soup? Aiyah she’s your colleague mah.”
“Not only that, thanks for everything.”
Mark felt like a 10 year old boy for that minute that he hugged his mother. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, his sorrows that buried deep within him.
He hoped someone knew what he had gone through.
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Mark took a walk in the park after dinner. He looked up the skies and found the Orion’s belt. The three stars were shining as always signifying eternity.
When he reached home, Mark went to his bed as he was really tired.
Physically and emotionally.
Before he fell asleep, his phone trembled.
There was an incoming sms.
The incoming number was an unfamiliar one.
“Don’t worry about me, I will be strong. I had told her everything and had a good crying session with her. If fate permits, we might just see each other again on MRT next week? Jade.”
[To be Cont]
