Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密


Chapter 4


What would you do to gain the attention from people surrounding you?
Would you shout for attention or would you do something silly just to let everyone know you need their time and space.

There was once a story I’ve read on the net that tells the story of a workaholic father and his young son. The son would ask money from his father everyday and his father would give him all the spare change that he had left.

Every time the boy received the money, he would become very happy and hide in his room for a long period. After a while, his father became curious on his son’s intentions.

“Surely a young boy like him doesn’t need so much money. Is he hiding something from me?”

The father tried to check on the boy’s room but could not find the money that he had kept.
He had the final draw when the boy asked him for $5 one day.

“You don’t need $5, what do you want $5 for?”

His son just smiled at him and rose out his hand.

“How can you ask for so much money at such a young age! What is it that you are hiding? Don’t you know the value of money? Don’t you know how hard I’m working outside to earn the dollar?” The father finally couldn’t endure any longer and gave his son a tight slap on his cheeks.

The boy was shocked and ran back to his room crying.

Guilt ran over the father as he slowly opened the door to his son’s room. His son was hiding under his blanket as gentle cries could still be heard.

“I’m sorry son, I didn’t mean it… I’m just too frustrated at work. Here’s five dollars”
The father apologized and placed a five-dollar note on his bed.

The boy didn’t cried anymore as he happily picked up the note.
“Dad?”

“Yes son?”

“How much do you earn per day?”

“I earned a hundred a day. Why are you asking me this question?”
The father felt another rush of rage upon.

The boy smiled as he took out an old tin can and poured onto his bed.
Out from the tin can came out all the coins in varies value as the boy carefully did a final count.

With the five-dollar note in his hand, the boy let out a big smile.

“I have a hundred dollars with me Dad, can I employ you for a day so that you no need to go to work?”

The actual story could be more in depth or longer but I guess the meaning behind it is almost the same.

It’s unexplainable sometimes that we might do things that we might probably never do just to grab someone’s attention. It could be faking a tummy ache or flu just to feel the comfort that we received from the ones who cared.

Asking a person whether he or she needs a doctor doesn’t mean you cared although it’s a practical approach. If a person really needs a doctor, he or she would probably ask you to bring them.

It’s the little things that you do or say that show your concern and attention. A porridge cooked by you could be a better remedy than a doctor’s prescription sometimes.



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“Jolynn?”

Adrian called out to her as she walked pass his class.


“Yeah? Oh it’s you, Adrian. What do you want?”

Jolynn was caught surprised by his calling.

“Hmmm… was wondering how is Janet recently?”

Adrian walked out from his class and walked with Jolynn along the corridor.

“She’s not really doing that good.”

“What happened?”
Adrian sounded anxious.

“She was grounded by her father on our last holiday. She had to endure through lessons & lessons of tuition and piano practice. I think the only times that she came out of that house is the time when her father bring her out for dinner.”

“That bad huh?”

“Yeah… her result sucks totally last semester, don’t you know?”

“I…”

Jolynn stopped walking and looked at Adrian.

“And it was mainly because of you.”

“Well... I didn’t mean it”

“One way or another. My best friend definitely suffered because of you.”

Jolynn started walking once more.

“Jol?”

Jolynn stopped and turned.

“You wanna join my ktv next week?”

“Why should I?”

Jolynn folded her arms.

“Let me make it up to Janet ok? Let’s take it as my sincere apologies over what happened. ”

“Yeah and you would probably bring all your girlfriends and spike her once more?”

“Please trust me can or not? I don’t have any girlfriends, be it in school or outside. I just want to make it up to her.”

“We’ll see how it goes…”

Jolynn continued her journey to the washroom.

Adrian smiled and began to make his way back to his class.

“Adrian?”

He stopped & turned this time and finds Jolynn staring at him with her arms fold.

“Can you promise me not to hurt her anymore?”

Adrian let out a guilty smile.

“I never wanted to anyway.”

“Good..I'll bet she still has some feelings for you”

Those were the last words before the two of them continued their journey.

Jolynn let out a sigh as she approached the washroom.

“I hope she's coping better than I am”

Jolynn washed her face as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Adrian approached the two of them during their break.

“Hello?”

“Wassup Adrian?”

Jolynn replied with Janet staring aimlessly in the blanks.

“Are both of you free next week?”

“Why? Wanna ask me out?”

Jolynn sounded sarcastically.

“Just wondering if you would be free next week, I'm organizing an outing.”

Adrian looking at Janet for response.

Jolynn sensed Janet's uncomfortable behavior and tried to cut short the conversation.

“So where's the outing anyway?”

Well, it's just a ktv outing, nothing much actually.” Adrian tried to convince them.

Adrian spent the next five minutes trying to persuade their participation.

The group separated as the school bell sounded for the lesson.

Janet reached out immediately after school. It was something which her Dad had commanded her to do so and spends every effort in making her comply to it.

The whole house was empty as she walked through the living room and threw her bag on the sofa. Within minutes, the phone sounded.

Yeah.”

Janet answered with a lack-lusted tone knowing the receiving end.

“How is school today?”

“School is much better than this empty prison.”

“You know what you've promise me don't you?”

Her father's commanding nature took over.

“Yes I know, be home before 3pm every day and start my own revision”

“Good. Don't forget that you are having tuition later”

“Yes I know, the tutor is one of your subordinate isn't she? Didn't realized that you would abuse your authority like that.”

“It's not necessary for you to know how I work, just fulfill your requirements. Having a strong academical background is good for building a strong foundation for your future. You don't know how important studying actually is until the day you step out to the society.”

“I'm not one of your subordinate so please don't talk to me like that!”

Janet couldn't stand his authoritative ways any longer.

“Your tutor will buy you dinner when she arrive.”

Janet did not response.

“I need to go for meeting now, Bye.”

Janet threw the receiver down.

Gushes of water descended onto her head as she attempts to cool her emotions with the shower head. Tears flowed with the rushing water down from her cheek right to her feet.

“Mum... I missed you...”

Memories of her sad past came back once more as she recall the times spent with your mum & dad. Her mum would help her with her homework and her dad would reward her with gifts when she had done well for her exams.

Her world then came crashing when her mum decided that she could no longer stand the way her father working day in and day out and always neglecting the family. Her father's defense was always for the sake of the family finances.

Both of them finally divorced when Janet was in secondary one. Her father being the financially stronger claim her custody to her mum's dismay. All the happy times came to end when the family was broken into pieces.

Her mum got remarried and now residing in Perth and Janet has never seen her again till the day when she last saw her in court.

Janet dry herself as she finishes her shower.

A bottle caught her attention below the sink.

She took up and open the cap. A strong stench of antiseptic smell filled the bathroom as she held the bottle of 'Dettol' in her hand.

“Will I die?”

Janet paused for a while.

“Maybe it's better that I do”

There was a moment of silence as she slowly lift the bottle towards her mouth.

Janet was suddenly shocked by a loud knock at the door and dropped the bottle onto the toilet floor. She got back to her senses and got dressed.

“Janet?”

Janet opened the door and found a woman fanning herself furiously with a stack of papers.

“yeah?”

“hi... I'm Elane. I'm your father's friend?”

“yeah... so you are my tutor.. Please come in”

The two of them went through revision before settling down for dinner. The suicide thought came but left as Janet got busier with her school work.

The half bottled antiseptic was then kept inside the cardboard.

------------------------

Edwin then felt his mobile phone trembling inside his bag.

“Hey Edwin, You want to come out this Saturday? Janet.”

Edwin was caught totally by the sms and he had to check a few times before he confirmed the sender and the receiver.

“What should I reply?”

His panic face caught the attention of Daryl and Huiyee.

“What's wrong?”

Huiyee asked.

“Oh... it's nothing...”

Edwin tried to brush off the concern.

“Ok man, your face is really pale now. Maybe you are too tired? Go wash up?”

Daryl patted on his shoulder.

Edwin took his mobile phone into the toilet and sat inside the cubicle.

[ Is Saturday tomorrow or next week's?]

Edwin asked.

The response came almost immediately.

[ Of course it's tomorrow!]

[ I guess I would be free, which subject you need help in?]

Edwin replied with his logical senses.

[ Who studies on weekends? I just want to go out ]

Janet replied.

[ Oh.. ok.. so where do you want to go? ]


[ Where do you normally spend your weekend? ]

Janet shot back the question.

[ I revised for all my subjects ]

Edwin being truthful.

[ No wonder you are so good in your grades, so you stay at home for your revision? ]

[ Nope, I do my revisions outside ]

[ Can you bring me to that place tomorrow? ]

Janet requested.

[ Sure but you have to revise a bit ]

[ Ok, I will revise with you.. but you'll have to follow me to my place after we're done]

[Where?]

Edwin was getting nervous.

[ You will know tomorrow... Meet you outside the Yishun MRT at 10am? ]

[ Ok... see you]

Edwin confirmed the arrangement.

He got back to his friends who were busy searching for data for their project.

“Edwin.. why are all you stunned? “

Huiyee looking at him being disorganized.

“I'm ok.. don't worry..”

----------------------

“Dad I need to go out tomorrow.”

Janet seek her father's permission as he sat by the ouch.

“Be back by 9pm. No later than that.”

That was all he answered and it was all she needs.

---------------------

“Ah pa, I don't think I will eat dinner tomorrow.”

Edwin returned to the shop house and found him packing up.

“Going out?”

Edwin nodded.

“With girl?”
Edwin nodded initially but keep shaking his head

His father smiled then pass him two ten-dollar note.

“Here, take it. You'll need it for your meals.”

“Thanks Ah pa, I will return you the change.”

-----------------------------------

Janet looked at the messages between Edwin and her.

She felt something which she had long forgotten. She was smiling as she looked at her phone. Although Janet wasn't sure of the reason, she only knows she needs to thank Edwin.

For passing her test...

For that simple smile that she had long forgotten...




[To be Cont]

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