Friday, September 07, 2007

Book of Love 爱神の书




Chapter 23


Someone once told me that “When you are in a relationship, you will be living two persons’ life from now on. Whatever decision you made, whatever situation you faced, it will the fate of two of you.”

When you are in a relationship, you will think about the person more than yourself. You might worry about her health, her studies, her job, her future, her life and practically everything about her.

When something happened to that person, you will be dreadful. You will feel like throwing away everything that you are currently doing just to rush to her.

Everything that is linked to that person will be directly and completely linked to you.

You won’t understand until you experienced it.

Somehow you would want the person to worry less about you.

When you experience the feeling of living the life for another person, whatever you do is not only responsible for your life.

You would eat less oily stuffs, you would smoke less, you might have to skip soccer matches on Saturday night so that both of you can catch a movie.

You would have to be more cheerful and you would listen to whatever he/she says.

You might be able to kick away some old habits if she doesn’t like it.

You begin to wonder sometimes that why are you doing all this?

Isn’t this your life and you are in total control?

As much as I would want to tell you, our life is in their hands now.

All because that person is in charge as both of you continued to walk the road.

This is Love; this is both your life and hers.



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The sound of a car whisked through the quiet streets leaving a series of echo as it disappear, soon it was quiet all over again in the neighbourhood. Everyone was tucked comfortably in their beds recharging the energy for tomorrow’s work.

When the world is asleep, the night can be really quiet.
All the quietness can give people a sense of uncertainty & loneliness.
The lonely and quiet night that affects one’s mood.

Christine sat in front of her computer with a few folders on her desk.
She took a last sip from her coffee mug as the sentimental music surrounded her ears from her headphone.

Christine looked at the time, it was close to midnight. She had just finished one of the many proposals she brought back from office.

It was just one of the usual nights that she stayed up so late. All means of going to bed early had long been given up due to their ineffectiveness.

Whenever Christine tries to lay down to sleep, her thoughts will be filled with negative feeling of loneliness. She had to work until she is totally drained, that way she will be able to sleep the moment she lay down.

Christine continued her thoughts about the presentation and customers audit that was coming up as she got herself back to hitting the keyboard.

Then she stopped. Apparently her brain had stopped working and there was no way she could continue.

But she was still quite awake. She then began surfing around at http://thefashionwalker.com for online sprees that may interest her.

After buying a few sets of clothes from Taiwan, nothing else interests her as she continued to surf other websites.

Her attention turned to a web link among her favorites.

It was Mark’s blog.

Christine noted his address the first time he asked her “Do you know love?”

All these while, Christine had been reading Mark’s journal daily. Keeping tracks of his events and feelings.

Deep down she had wished that someday perhaps she might see herself been mentioned in his blog. Someone which Mark would want to declare to cyberspace the person whom he loved the most.

That was only a wishful thought.

Christine sighed as she surfed back to her own blog to post an entry.

The most painful feeling about love is not losing it but never able to get it stared.

Where it all began…

I disliked him the first day I saw him, the first day when he entered our company. He’s not those hunky type and also not very chatty. Well
I guess nothing about him is great.

Then somehow I was attracted to him slowly. I don’t know why but sometimes I think he’s a very deep person, someone who seeks the true meaning of love. Then again, there are times when he’s really childish with his lame jokes.

I remembered the first year when we were having our dinner and dance. He asked me to partner him because he didn’t know any other females in the company.

I obliged only out of pity or I thought so.

It was after the dinner and dance that we went out together for supper. He was telling me about his army days and tried to impress me with his participation of triathlon.

His mood changes when I asked about his girlfriend and his first reply shocked me to my grave.

“I killed her”

He told me the truth later on with much relieved from me that I’m not having supper with a murder.


The night ended on a low note as he didn’t speak much while sending me home.

I would never declare to the world that I like him.

Maybe it’s because that we are working in the same company. Whether we are together or not, there will be lots of rumors flying everywhere.

Maybe I will forget him… slowly… if time allows me to.

I will …”

Christine stopped writing and posted her entry to the cyberspace. It was maybe the only place where she felt free and easy to disclose any thoughts that were buried within.

She walked to her bathroom and wash up.

Christine looked into the mirror as she wiped her face.
Her red and puffy eyes were the evidence of long endurance of sadness.

Christine’s mobile phone beeped as it continues vibrating on her desk.

It was a sms from Mark.

“Hey Chris and Shaun, I’ve got up with some trouble and currently ended up in SGH. Please help me to inform boss I won’t be reporting to work…”

Christine didn’t know what to do as her brain was temporarily froze by the news… until she saw a tag reply on her blog.

“If a person so important to you then will you tell him or will you show him?”

It was from Eros, again.

Christine was very much curious about this Eros character but she had more important thing on hand as she hurriedly got change and went out of her house.

There was no reply from Mark as she kept calling.

Finally it got through…

“Hello..” Mark answered half awakened.The reply came brought his life back to him.“You stupid idiot!!! What happened to you??? Which ward are you in right now??? I’m on my way there.”
Christine raised her voice as she tried to control her steering wheel.

“Har?? Who are you?”
Mark began to wake up a little.

“Chris lah”

“Hey Chris, its ok man. I’m fine.”

“Just tell me which ward are you in now?”

“Orrh.. I’m at Ward 78.. Bed 1”
Mark felt threatened somehow.

It didn’t take Christine too long to reach SGH.

As she enters his ward, Mark waved and greeted her.

“Hey….Chris..”

Mark took a glance at her as she enters, Christine was spotting a ponytail and wearing her specs.

“What happen to you? Anything serious?”
Christine sat down beside him.

“Nah… I’m ok, man.. You look very different without makeup you know.”

“What do you expect? Me to put on makeup to visit you? I know I’m ugly without makeup.. So be it..”

“Hey.. I didn’t mean that, I just wanna tell you that you looked different. You know in office, I always see you in office wear and pretty much glamorous types of dress code. Now I see you in singlet and flip-flops, I find you cuter you know.”

“Idiot.. Why didn’t you just die?”

Christine took a pillow and attempts to suffocate him.

“Hey watch it… you are hurting me.. Ouch!!”
Mark grabbed his chest in pain.

“Sorry.. Sorry…”
Christine stopped only to realize Mark was faking it.

“So tell me what happen?”

Mark then told her about Sharon, how he got to know her and realize her ran away case when they are back.

He also told Christine about Sharon’s blog and her suicide thoughts and all the stories that had him ended up here.

“You think you are hero or something? Thank goodness you are ok.”

“Hey Chris, why did you sound like my mum?”

“Because I care about you!”

Both of them stopped and looked eye to eye for a moment.

“It’s late, I got to be going… will visit tomorrow.”
Christine walked out quickly from his ward trying to hide her blushed face.

Mark just felt a little strange but he slept right through it

------------------------------------------

Morning came and Mark was ushered for x-ray scans for his lungs.
The doctor had told him everything was fine and he could be discharged this afternoon.


As Mark lay back on his bed to enjoy some last moment of recuperation, his mobile phone rang again.

“Hey Mark…”

It was Shaun.

“Wassup? bro”

“What did you do to Christine?”

“What do you mean by what I did? I didn’t do anything to her.. What happened to her?”

“Ohh… she called in sick too… same as you.. still don’t wanna confess there’s something between the two of you ?”

“There’ s nothing between us all along… you better go do your job now as you are the remaining person in our team.”

Mark threatened to hang up the phone.

“Ok.. ok.. You have a good rest man.”

--------------------------------

Christine went straight to bed after getting her medication.
She slept through the morning and woke up finally when she felt hungry.

As she sat down and ate her porridge, her mind was still in a daze.

Then she flipped open her laptop and key it.

“Who are you Eros?”

To her surprise, the reply came very fast.

“I’m someone you know.”

“Don’t try to be funny…”

“I’m not.. ”

Christine paused for awhile before Eros type in another line.

“Shall we meet?”


[To be Cont]

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