{ 雨の天使 }
Rain Angel
Chapter 11
[ I hate the rain... ]
[ I hate the rain... ]
It rained that night, the next night and the next.
It rained on the day that you were cremated.
It then rained subsequently for 7 days straight.
KaiLoke is gone. The rain had taken his life.
My eyes are swollen, my smile is gone. My tears have dried up, my mouth stop to talk.
I sat back and think back what that guy said to me.
“What’s so great about being happy?”
Maybe he was right.
To see someone whom you see everyday suddenly gone forever.
This kind of sadness and pain is something which few got through.
Those who’ve experienced will know what I want to say.
KaiLoke… I Miss you..
“Ah hui”
KaiLoke’s mother called her after a few days after his cremation.
“Yes Auntie?”
“Can you come over to my place later? I’ve got something to pass you”
“Orhh… ok I’ll try”
Mavis put down the phone with a heavy heart.
Mavis didn’t want to go.
She didn’t have enough courage to face them.
To lose their son in an accident is terrible enough, knowing that he came for her was worse.
It must have taken them a lot of courage to pull through.
“I guess KaiLoke would want me to accompany them and talk to them more often”
“Maybe they will think less of him by talking with me”
Mavis made her way to his home.
“Ah hui, you are here. Come in please”
KaiLoke’s mother opened their 4 roomed flat to her.
It was the first time she had gone to their place after they moved out of the same block as her family 2 years ago.
The house was simple, yet neat and spacious unlike her own.
“Ah pa should have sell fish instead…”
“Meihui…”
Mavis turned.
“You are…. KaiWen?”
Mavis covered her mouth.
“Oh my god.. it’s been so long…”
“Yeah.. too bad I couldn’t make it to Ah Gor’s funeral. The air tickets back to Singapore was fully booked.
“Ah Wen reached home after Ah Loke was cremated. He had been busy settling the remaining paperwork since”
KaiLoke’s mother spoke as she brought a cup of tea to her.
“So… Auntie.. what is it that you want to give me?”
KaiLoke’s mother asked Mavis to go inside his room.
It was the first time she ever sat foot in his room. Mavis could still remembered that KaiLoke had banned her from entering his room since she started in junior college.
They even quarreled and didn’t talk to each other for a period of time over this.
On the walls, were a giant portrait of a girl right behind his bed.
“It’s… me….”
Mavis walked towards the portrait.
“KaiLoke always wanted to give you this since your 16th birthday”
KaiWen came in.
“But… Why?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t know that he liked you all along?”
Those words were smeared with sourness as she took it.
“I….. don’t know… what to say…”
Mavis walked towards the portrait.
“He liked you since young, he was always there to protect you.”
KaiWen continued.
“But he didn’t have the courage to tell you. He was afraid that you will avoid him if you know about it”
“I…”
Mavis then notice some books on his desk.
There were a few A level’s books lying on his table.
KaiWen saw the books too but he has no idea why the books were there.
Mavis walked up to the books and start flipping.
Every page of each textbook has a sentence.
“Chen Kai Loke… Loves…. Guo Mei Hui”
Mavis flipped the last textbook, the last page was different from the rest.
It was a written paragraph.
[ I know it’s stupid of me to do this and I can’t explain why I’m so attracted to her.
Maybe this is what people call Love.
I call this blindly in love.
I watched her grow from a cute naughty girl to a young pretty lady.
It hurts me every time to see she had a fall.
It will put a smile on my face when I see her arranging the carrots.
She is always clumsy when you ask her to carry things.
No one will know why I give up my studies.
Ah Ma will think I’m saving up the money for KaiWen.
It’s only half true, let them believe it.
I gave up my junior college placing because of her.
I want to wait for her.
I want to go to the same University with her.
I want to take care of her forever.
I know She may not like me…
But it is enough for me to have a chance to be with her…
16th May 2007]
It was written on the day of accident.
Everyone in the room cried.
Mavis especially. She had thought her tears had dried up.
It just keeping flowing out.
She cried because she know she would not have accepted him.
She cried because she can’t repay anything to him for what he had done for her.
She cried because she never had the chance to say ‘Thank You’ & ‘Sorry’ to him forever.
Mavis had requested the portrait to be hang up in his room.
She hope that it will accompany him at least.
Mavis left the house with a broken heart.
She had thought that she had recovered from the sadness.
It seems that the sadness have just begin.
Mavis walked to the park.
It was her soul asylum, a place where she could cry all she want.
It was a place where she could just stare at the flowers.
As she stood at the park, the sky had long darkened at her ignorance.
Soon the rain dropped.
Mavis just stood there.
The rain got bigger.
Mavis continued standing there closing her eyes.
Her mind was in shock over sadness or sadness over shock.
Mavis couldn’t feel the rain drops anymore.
She opened her eyes and looked up to an umbrella.
“Why are you standing in the rain?”
Wilson was holding the umbrella to cover her letting himself wet in the process.
“Why do you care?”
Mavis turned back.
“Why don’t I care? Who was the one who asked me to be happy?”
“What’s the point of being happy?”
Mavis cried again.
“You don’t need a reason to be happy right?”
Wilson sensing something is wrong with her today.
“Are you ok?”
Wilson tried to turn her around.
“Leave me alone!! LET GO!”
“Why are you so sad? What happen?”
“What do you know??? HAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND EVER DIED JUST LIKE THAT?”
“What~??~?? Hanling is dead??”
Wilson got a shock.
“NO NO NO I never said it’s her, you’ll never understand.”
“But you shouldn’t do this to yourself, you are only damaging yourself…”
“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?? I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY?”
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”
It rained on the day that you were cremated.
It then rained subsequently for 7 days straight.
KaiLoke is gone. The rain had taken his life.
My eyes are swollen, my smile is gone. My tears have dried up, my mouth stop to talk.
I sat back and think back what that guy said to me.
“What’s so great about being happy?”
Maybe he was right.
To see someone whom you see everyday suddenly gone forever.
This kind of sadness and pain is something which few got through.
Those who’ve experienced will know what I want to say.
KaiLoke… I Miss you..
“Ah hui”
KaiLoke’s mother called her after a few days after his cremation.
“Yes Auntie?”
“Can you come over to my place later? I’ve got something to pass you”
“Orhh… ok I’ll try”
Mavis put down the phone with a heavy heart.
Mavis didn’t want to go.
She didn’t have enough courage to face them.
To lose their son in an accident is terrible enough, knowing that he came for her was worse.
It must have taken them a lot of courage to pull through.
“I guess KaiLoke would want me to accompany them and talk to them more often”
“Maybe they will think less of him by talking with me”
Mavis made her way to his home.
“Ah hui, you are here. Come in please”
KaiLoke’s mother opened their 4 roomed flat to her.
It was the first time she had gone to their place after they moved out of the same block as her family 2 years ago.
The house was simple, yet neat and spacious unlike her own.
“Ah pa should have sell fish instead…”
“Meihui…”
Mavis turned.
“You are…. KaiWen?”
Mavis covered her mouth.
“Oh my god.. it’s been so long…”
“Yeah.. too bad I couldn’t make it to Ah Gor’s funeral. The air tickets back to Singapore was fully booked.
“Ah Wen reached home after Ah Loke was cremated. He had been busy settling the remaining paperwork since”
KaiLoke’s mother spoke as she brought a cup of tea to her.
“So… Auntie.. what is it that you want to give me?”
KaiLoke’s mother asked Mavis to go inside his room.
It was the first time she ever sat foot in his room. Mavis could still remembered that KaiLoke had banned her from entering his room since she started in junior college.
They even quarreled and didn’t talk to each other for a period of time over this.
On the walls, were a giant portrait of a girl right behind his bed.
“It’s… me….”
Mavis walked towards the portrait.
“KaiLoke always wanted to give you this since your 16th birthday”
KaiWen came in.
“But… Why?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t know that he liked you all along?”
Those words were smeared with sourness as she took it.
“I….. don’t know… what to say…”
Mavis walked towards the portrait.
“He liked you since young, he was always there to protect you.”
KaiWen continued.
“But he didn’t have the courage to tell you. He was afraid that you will avoid him if you know about it”
“I…”
Mavis then notice some books on his desk.
There were a few A level’s books lying on his table.
KaiWen saw the books too but he has no idea why the books were there.
Mavis walked up to the books and start flipping.
Every page of each textbook has a sentence.
“Chen Kai Loke… Loves…. Guo Mei Hui”
Mavis flipped the last textbook, the last page was different from the rest.
It was a written paragraph.
[ I know it’s stupid of me to do this and I can’t explain why I’m so attracted to her.
Maybe this is what people call Love.
I call this blindly in love.
I watched her grow from a cute naughty girl to a young pretty lady.
It hurts me every time to see she had a fall.
It will put a smile on my face when I see her arranging the carrots.
She is always clumsy when you ask her to carry things.
No one will know why I give up my studies.
Ah Ma will think I’m saving up the money for KaiWen.
It’s only half true, let them believe it.
I gave up my junior college placing because of her.
I want to wait for her.
I want to go to the same University with her.
I want to take care of her forever.
I know She may not like me…
But it is enough for me to have a chance to be with her…
16th May 2007]
It was written on the day of accident.
Everyone in the room cried.
Mavis especially. She had thought her tears had dried up.
It just keeping flowing out.
She cried because she know she would not have accepted him.
She cried because she can’t repay anything to him for what he had done for her.
She cried because she never had the chance to say ‘Thank You’ & ‘Sorry’ to him forever.
Mavis had requested the portrait to be hang up in his room.
She hope that it will accompany him at least.
Mavis left the house with a broken heart.
She had thought that she had recovered from the sadness.
It seems that the sadness have just begin.
Mavis walked to the park.
It was her soul asylum, a place where she could cry all she want.
It was a place where she could just stare at the flowers.
As she stood at the park, the sky had long darkened at her ignorance.
Soon the rain dropped.
Mavis just stood there.
The rain got bigger.
Mavis continued standing there closing her eyes.
Her mind was in shock over sadness or sadness over shock.
Mavis couldn’t feel the rain drops anymore.
She opened her eyes and looked up to an umbrella.
“Why are you standing in the rain?”
Wilson was holding the umbrella to cover her letting himself wet in the process.
“Why do you care?”
Mavis turned back.
“Why don’t I care? Who was the one who asked me to be happy?”
“What’s the point of being happy?”
Mavis cried again.
“You don’t need a reason to be happy right?”
Wilson sensing something is wrong with her today.
“Are you ok?”
Wilson tried to turn her around.
“Leave me alone!! LET GO!”
“Why are you so sad? What happen?”
“What do you know??? HAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND EVER DIED JUST LIKE THAT?”
“What~??~?? Hanling is dead??”
Wilson got a shock.
“NO NO NO I never said it’s her, you’ll never understand.”
“But you shouldn’t do this to yourself, you are only damaging yourself…”
“WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?? I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRY?”
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”
Wilson was stunned by her words, rather her tone.
The cheerful girl whom he met few months ago was gone.
“Yes, I know… I know your feeling now. Please cry it all out.. You will feel better”
“I HATE THE RAIN! I’ll never forgive the rain”
Wilson suddenly threw away the umbrella and hugged her.
She just continued to cry in his arms.
And the rain kept coming at them.
“I truly understand what you’ve gone through…”
Wilson can only consoled her as she just kept hitting him.
[To be Cont]
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