Book of Love 爱神の书
Chapter 27
Everyone’s definition of first love is different from another.
Some believed that the first person they ever liked is their first love, some believed that the first relationship they’ve ever be in will be their first love. I believed the first.
I saw the girl I first liked not long ago.
A friend and I were having supper and she was sitting right opposite us. Ironically, if not for the additional chair that she was looking for, I doubt we would never have the chance to greet each other.
I took a hard look at her and was taken aback from the large bulge that she was carrying. She was going to be a mother in a few months time and currently working in an American bank as a director. We greeted and exchange a few words before joining our own friends for supper.
That night as I lay down on my bed, I thought about the past memories I had with her.
I know her in 1991 or in my first year as a secondary student. She was someone who loves to chat and always game on to any challenge that we suggested.
I liked her the first time I saw her. Those feelings added as I knew her more. She was just someone whom I can tell everything to. My family problems, my incapability to cope with my studies and even what I like or disliked.
She was one of the more popular girls in my school whereas I was one of the guys which people barely knew my existence. Even if they do, it was more like a joke to them as I was constantly being teased for my extra large sized.
The fact that I really admire about her is her frankness and not despising me as much as other girls in school.
When I know she had a crush on one of my guy friends, my heart sank.
"Why did she tell me?”
I reckoned that she needed more information about my friend. I ended up match-making them to record their first relationship.
My heart broke into pieces every time I see them behaving intimately in school or during our outings. I was always her confider when both of them quarreled over the slightest things.
Then one day, after a year of their relationship they had a major quarrel. My own friends told me to stop inferring into other’s relationship. When she called me that day, I didn’t told her much... except this sentence
“Does he worth all your tears every time you quarrel? Do you love him that much?”
She broke off with him after our conversation that day.
I was there for her thereafter, for all the depression that she had to go through, I went through with her.
Finally, I told her I liked her. It was the first time in my entire life that I told someone that I liked her.
It was in 1992.
She took it as a joke at first but finally she was convinced that I was serious.
“You are someone very special to me… but I never thought of you as someone whom I would start a relationship... Thanks for the company… I’m really grateful to have a friend like you…”
I knew the answer all along but it didn’t come from her until that day. The immediate feeling was shock instead of sadness. Disbelieving and denial but slowly reality sinks in.
We talked a lot less after that day and spend the next two years of secondary school days and thereafter as mere acquaintance. She had another painful relationship thereafter.
I didn’t get to see her after we split our ways right after our final year.
I only sort news about her from the people that went on to the same junior college with her. This was perhaps the only time I had a good look at her after all these years.
As I sleep, I felt a tear gently flowed down my cheek.
It wasn’t a tear of sadness or grief but a tear of joy.
I was really glad to see her again that night, not that I still like her in any way.
She will remain a special part in my life as memories of young and innocent courtship.
This is Love, at its very first beginning.
Mark lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The question that Psyche asked planted a spear through his heart. He couldn’t reply to the tag as he was never asked that kind of question in his life.
“The person who loves me the most and the person I love the most?”
Mark had never been in this kind of scenario before and he hoped that he will never have to reach that situation either.
To be with the person who loves you the most appears to be more practical, she would be someone who totally lives for him, take care of him and listens to whatever he suggested.
But why be with someone whom you don’t love the most?
Isn’t it ironic?
To be with the person who you love the most is more realistic, it’s the part when you go after her that produced the best of memories. You would do silly things just to make her laugh and put everything aside because she is the most important person to you.
“Argh!! Why do I have to think about all these? I don’t have anyone whom I love or love me… Stupid me!”
Mark gave up and knocked himself out as midnight past.
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“Ah boy… you are not working today? Thought your mc only lasted yesterday?”
Mark’s mother yelled from the living room as the clock approaches 8am.
“OH shit!!”
Mark suddenly jumped up from his bed.
He took a look at the alarm clock… he didn’t set it last night.
Mark dragged himself out of bed.
Knowing he was late didn’t speed his movement though. Mark knew he had missed the train, the same train which Jade will be religiously on every morning. That thought alone dampened his whole morning as he washed himself and got ready for work.
Mark reached office right before ten.
“Bro… you ok?”
Shaun looked up as Mark sat down noticing his computer was switched on.
“Bro, I switched on for you… so that boss won’t think you are late.”
“Thanks man…”
Mark didn’t speak a word anymore as he concentrated on his forgone tasks and emails right into lunch.
“Bro, where do you wanna go for lunch?”
Shaun came back to the office after some errands.
“It’s ok, I will settle by myself.”
Mark was too engrossed with his reports.
“Ok man… then I will go with Roger and Oliver from finances department. Give me a ring if you need anything ok?”
“Sure… enjoy your lunch”
“What is the Model of that machine we send to our Hong Kong distributors? Oh man… what was it?? Shaun you got any idea?”
Mark talked to himself as he was replying to an email enquiry.
“It was GEX-1107 wire bonding machine, we have send them 20 from last week.”
Mark turned back, it was Christine who replied.
“Hey... Thanks Chris.”
Christine sent a weak smile back at him.
“So… didn’t go lunch with Shaun?”
Mark asked as he laid back on his backrest.
“Huh? Thought that should be my question?”
Christine replied.
“Hmmrp! Guess they want to be low profile in office. Couples always behaved like they barely know each other in office…”
Mark wondered in his mind as he stood up and stretched himself.
“Mark?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Wassup?”
“That girl that was with you… the one whom you tried to save…”
“You mean Sharon?”
“Yeah… is she your girlfriend?”
Mark broke into laughter before Christine could finish her question.
“Of course not! My god… how old is she only? Besides, Shaun might kill me if it’s true.”
“Shaun? What does it got to do with him?”
Christine was confused.
“Shaun is her half-cousin or whatever they call themselves. Anyway they lived only next door… You mean you’ve never met Sharon before?”
Christine shook her head.
“Oh… You’ll see her more often in future.”
Mark replied as he walked out of the office to seek lunch.
The second half of the day was past rather quick with a series of meetings and projects discussion and report submission.
“Bye all…”
Christine was surprising the first one to leave.
“Bro, what are you waiting for?”
Mark hinted at Shaun.
“What? What?”
Shaun was still writing his last input for the email reply.
“Christine had left”
“So?”
“What so? Don’t you guys go on dates on something?”
“Oh yeah… can you stop being a busybody while we are trying to be low profile here? We already fixed a place for dinner.”
Shaun got up and started packing.
“Seeya bro”
“Bye Shaun”
Mark decided to stay for awhile longer. His concentration was disturbed by a phone call from his boss.
“Mark, can you come to my office now please?”
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“Yes? Mr. Lee”
Mark greeted him as he entered.
“Take a seat please”
His boss replied politely.
“Mark, how’s things? You ok now?”
“Yeah… thanks boss for the concern.”
“Right… I’ll go into our main topic of discussion for today.”
Mr. Lee paused for a moment.
“Mark, I have seen a lot of improvement from you since the day you’ve joined us. I think you are ready to face a greater challenge.”
Before Mark could digest his words.
“I will push for your promotion by next month.”
Mark couldn’t believe what he had heard.
Promotion.
It was something which he didn’t thought of.
“Thanks boss… I will surely do my best.”
“Ok.. I’m glad to hear that. You’ll have to take over all the projects under Christine from tomorrow onwards.”
“Why? Christine got promoted too?”
“No… Christine had tendered her resignation. She will serve a month’s notice before joining her new employers.”
“What!!! Christine resigned???”
“Apparently it’s her former employers. They will be sending her to France for a 2 year contract with the option to extend her contract. Heard that the offer was something she couldn’t refuse so I wished her the best.”
“Boss.. Why didn’t you stop her?”
Mr. Lee was astonished by Mark’s sudden reaction.
“I tried to convince her and offer her a pay adjustment and a possible promotion next year but Christine was so determined in taking up the offer. Initially she wanted to buy out her one month notice here but after much persuasion she obliged.”
Mark didn’t make a sound.
“Mark… Christine highly recommends you to take over her projects as she believes you are more suitable with your capability.”
Mark left the office with a lot of question over his head.
“Why did she make this decision now? When Shaun and she is an item now? Why she didn’t mention to anyone before? Why did Shaun doesn’t seem bothered?”
In the mist of all questions that he had, there was one question which was even disbelieving in Mark’s head.
“Why am I so bothered over her resignation?”
As Mark reached home, he took out his mobile phone and called Shaun.
“Shaun”
“Yes bro?”
“Are you with Christine now?”
“Ehhh… nope I just send her back after dinner.”
“You knew it already?”
“What?”
“Chris resigned, she’s going to France”
“Yeah I know… We made the decision together. She would go there first because she got a good offer now. Then I will keep a look out for opportunities to go there as well. We will eventually stay there if we can.”
It is often said that when you starts to tell a lie, you would tell another to cover it and another to cover both…
“Oh… ok… looks like both of you already have plans”
“Yeah.. That’s why she hugged me and cried at Clark Quay. She couldn’t bear to leave me. I’m sad too you know..”
Shaun’s voice sounded hoarse.
“Its ok man… you just step up the search..”
Mark consoled his friend before he hung up.
Mark tossed and turned on his bed that night.
It was a feeling that he could not make out of.
Why did he feel so miserable in knowing Christine’s resignation?
And worse when he knew that she was going to France and might never return?
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Morning came and Mark had missed the same train timing with Jade again. But he was less disappointed than yesterday as he took his time to get prepare for work.
“Morning Mark…”
Christine greeted him as he reached office.
“Hi Chris… Where’s Shaun?”
Mark pointed to the empty chair of his colleague.
“He’s on mc today. Man! The two of you keep taking turns to fall sick. Who’s going to hold up the team when I’m gone?”
Christine joked.
“Chris…”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you have to resign?”
“Why not?”
Christine shrugged.
“Well… you see.. We’ve form up such a formidable team in the three of us. Our achievements are been recognized even by HQ. Isn’t it a shame that you have to leave now?”
“Mark… will you leave if you were given a 40% increment with overseas allowance which is half your basic now? Monetary aside, I’m going there as career advancement too with a managerial post. Tell me you won’t leave?”
Mark was completely speechless with the question.
“What about your family and friends? I mean your dad actually allows you to go considered he’s quite a protective guy?”
“Yup… my family will join me there..”
“What about… Sh…uan”
Christine’s attention was suddenly caught when her mobile phone rang. She got back to her desk and started browsing through the package with her mobile on.
Mark just stood there and looked at her for a minute.
“Oh well… Guess they already planned it out.”
The day ended with both of them didn’t share a word with each other. Christine left on the dot and Mark was busy trying to cope with Christine’s project interfacing.
Mark reached home early that night.
As he sat down on a quiet night, he stared at his computer screen on the question that Psyche had asked.
“How can I choose when I don’t even know who is the person I liked most or the person who liked me the most?”
The immediate reply that came did not frighten him as much as before.
Psyche is a patient person and would wait for him to reply before entering another tag.
“What if you can know? Would you want to know?”
[To be Cont]
