Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密

Chapter 12

Everyone takes a bus some time in their life.
For me, it was the first transport that I ever took.

My grandfather used to bring me on different long bus journey. We would do nothing, just look out the windows and observe the many places which the bus travels.

He said it was the cheapest way of enjoyment because we only pay less then a dollar for the bus ticket and we get to enjoy almost an hour of time.

For many of us, we do it when we were young and probably still doing it almost everyday. Be it to work, to school or another location for shopping, it would definitely be one option of travel.

As you stood aimlessly at the stop and waits for its arrival, you notice a group of people moved as it approaches. There seems to be many different numbers that they waited.

Different numbers would mean different journey, something which you won’t know until the day you take it yourself.

As you observed the group of people that took the same bus with you at the same time, have you ever notice that there would be a few of them whom you would always see?

Somehow their schedule is the same as yours, boarding the same bus almost everyday as you. Although you’ve never spoken to any of them, deep down however, you would feel a strange sense of bonding. Somehow you look forward in seeing them each day as they board the bus at the different sections of the journey.

Where are they going?
Where do they work or study?

We probably won’t ask them because we would be mistakenly regarded as a stalker to them out of our curiosity.

I love to take the bus.
I love to look out in the window on the journey as the bus moves.
I love to look at the many people who board and alight from the journey.

I love to take the bus with my wife now. I would show her the places which I’ve been to as the bus travels.

I would tell her the stories that my grandfather used to tell me when we were traveling.

Someday, perhaps I will also do the same thing to my kids.

For many of us, we would probably take for granted on the journey because we are driven by the destination of where we want to go.

Take a step back as you travel on your next trip.
Make some observations during your journey.

Remember, it’s the cheapest form of entertainment and it’s not the destination but that journey that matters, my friend.

And…

When was the last time you took a long bus journey with the one you loved?

The silent and watery eyes stared blankly at the ceiling wall above. There was not a moment of life except the rotating sound of the table fan. Outside the window were only a pale of darkness before dawn slowly peeked itself in.

Soon the room was lit with rays of sunlight.
As the eyes turned its focus at the window, she recalled earlier.

“Jo, you normally wake up so late?”

Janet was already changing her school uniform.

“I’m not feeling well, Janet.”

Janet sat down beside her and felt her forehead.

“Nope, no fever.”

“Yeah, I just feel like sleeping in today.”

“Ok, you better take care you know”
Janet spoke as she tied her hair.

“Jan, I think there’s breakfast on the table. I told Mum to cook for us before she goes for work.”

“You have a good rest ok?”

“Jan, please remember to lock the door ok? The keys are on the dining table.”

“Sure… by the way, your house seems a lot quieter than mine.”

Janet spoke before she left the room.

As Jolynn tried to go back to sleep, her handphone broke the silence in the room.

[ You going to school today? ]

It was a message from Adrian.

[ I’m not feeling well, don’t think I will be going after all ]

The phone rang almost immediately.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, what happen to you?”
Adrian spoke of real concern.

“I’m fine I guess, just feeling very tired.”

“Need to send you to a doctor?”

“Nah, I guess I didn’t get enough sleep. I’ll feel better afterwards, I hope”

“Jol, actually I’m outside your house.”

Jolynn felt a sense of disbelief as the door bell rang. She threw her handphone on her bed and rushed out to the living room.

“Oh my god, why are you here?”
Jolynn opened the door and saw Adrian standing.

“I was just…”

“Waiting for Janet?”
Jolynn finished the sentence for him.

Adrian looked lost and couldn’t find an answer to dispute her assumption.

“She already left for school… *cough*”
Jolynn felt her throat itched.

“You alright?”
Adrian wanted to feel her forehead through the door but Jolynn took a step backwards.

“I’m ok, there’s nothing wrong with me”

“Hey, I just wanted to know whether you are fine.”

“I’m fine, thank you. And the person that you are looking for already left the house.”
Jolynn tried to cut short the conversation.

“Can we talk then? Can you let me in?”

Jolynn let out a sigh and opened the door for him.

Adrian sat on the sofa as Jolynn dragged herself to the opposite end.

“What is it that you want to tell me?”
Jolynn showed lesser patience due to her insomnia.

“It’s about the other night.”
Adrian spoke slowly.

“I just wanted to apologize to you for what I did, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for? Taking me as Janet the other night?”

Adrian did not reply to her question.

“Adrian, you didn’t reply to my question the other night, what is it that she has that I don’t?”

“Jolynn, what are you saying? I don’t quite understand.”
“If it’s the looks, I don’t think I’m any uglier or fatter than her, am I not?”
Jolynn took a good look at herself.

Adrian was uncertain about her intentions.

“Jolynn, why are you comparing yourself with Janet?”

“Because we are in love with the same person! And I want to know why that person only care about Janet and not me!”

Jolynn moved towards Adrian.

“Do you think she would do this?”

Jolynn began kissing his forehead then moved slowly down to his right ear and finally reaching to his lips.

Adrian was stuttered by her actions as their lips locked in emotions.

“Tell me, who is the person that you are thinking now?”
Jolynn whispered in his ears.

“Janet…. Or me?”
Jolynn continued to blow gently into his ear.

“Jolynn… I….”
Adrian was stopped Jolynn’s finger as she placed it on his lips.

“Shhss… Don’t interrupt… let me tell you what my definition of love is. No.. Let me show it to you.”

Jolynn began to unbutton herself as she continued kissing him.

“Janet… Janet…?”
Janet felt someone gently tapping her shoulder.

“Idiot, don’t disturb my sleep!”
She let out a huge slap to the intruder.

“Ouch!”
Edwin exclaimed while the bus driver looked at them.

“What the two of you do last night?”
The curious driver poked.

“Nothing, Uncle! We are only classmates.”
Edwin blushed.

“Young man, you like her is it?”
The bus driver laughed.

“No no no… Uncle”

“Then how come you are not angry when she slapped you?”

“Errmmm….”
Edwin was lost for words.

“My wife used to hit me when I was courting her. I never hit back, although sometimes it really hurts on the flesh but somehow in the heart I was quite please with it…. Haha!”

“Uncle, you are a weird man…”

“Yeah yeah, better wake your friend up. I have to prepare for my next trip.”

“Janet…? Wake up?”
Edwin tried again, this time more cautious of her reactions.

“huh….”
Janet woke up rubbing her eyes.

“Yawn…Are we at school yet?”
She stretched herself to see the empty bus.

“What happened?”
Janet stared at Edwin.


“I thought you were supposed to wake me up when we reached school?”
Edwin rebuked her stare.

“How can you sleep when I slept?”
Janet questioned him.

“How did I know you slept when I was already sleeping? If I was already sleeping and you went to sleep, how would I wake myself and you up when we reached school?”

“Idiot… Don’t confuse me with all your theories.”
Janet sat up and brushed her skirt.

“Where are we now?”

“Pasir Ris Bus Terminal, please kindly get off the bus if you don’t mind.”
The bus driver answered them.

“Sorry Uncle…”
Janet got off the bus real quick leaving Edwin behind with her bag.

“Janet, wait!”
Edwin tried to catch up with her.

“I’m very hungry now, can we find a place for breakfast?”
Janet suggested.

“But we need to go to school, if not our attendance will be affected and we can’t sit for the final examinations.”
Edwin tried to convince her.

“Of course we need to go to school. What’s the time now?”

“Eight thirty”

“Aren’t we already late?”
Edwin nodded.

“What’s the difference from reaching the school at ten and now? No difference right?”
Edwin nodded again.

“So?”
Janet woke the debate literally.

“And finally Edwin… are you hungry?”

Edwin just couldn’t find a way to shake his head as they walked towards the fast food restaurant.
Adrian felt his back as Jolynn used her finger to linger.

“Jol…”

“Yeah?”

“How did we end up like this?”

“Isn’t it something that you wanted?”
Jolynn kissed his back again.

“Is it really something I wanted?”
Adrian mumbled to himself.

“I need to go to school today”
Adrian got up from the bed and wore back his school uniform.

“For?”

“I need to return Vincent his notes.”

“Then I’m going with you.”
Jolynn got up too.

“Aren’t you not feeling well? Please stay at home and rest”

“Nope, from now on… where you go I will follow”
Jolynn took her uniform from the closet.

Adrian walked out of the house and light a cigarette while waiting for Jolynn.
As they walked, Jolynn tried to hold his hand.

“Adrian, am I your girl friend now?”

Adrian did not reply.

“You think she would have given in to you?... like what I did?”
Jolynn smiled as she looked at Adrian.

She knew she had overtaken her best friend in the race. A race where she could not afford to lose and could anything to get herself forward.

“Love is about the sacrifices one needs to make in order retain a relationship. Love is never noble but just a selfish act of personal attention.”

Jolynn let out a grin as she reminded herself on that.
“What time is it already?”
Janet commanded to know.

“It’s almost ten. Hey don’t you have a watch?”
Edwin couldn’t take much longer.

“I lazy to take a look myself, it’s faster to ask”
Janet replied as they walked towards the school gate.

“Will we get caught?”
Edwin showed his timid side.

“Trust me, at ten in the morning, everyone will be having meetings with the teachers. This is the best timing!”

“What if they cancel the meeting today?”

Janet stopped and stared at him.

“Edwin, keep your unlucky mouth shut!”

Both went through the front gate cautiously and true enough, there was no one around.

“Hey you two!”
Edwin heard someone shouting at them.

“Oh shit…”
Janet turned around.

“Late huh? Go stand in front of the Principal office now!”
The discipline master ordered.

“I thought you say it’s flawless?”
Edwin whispered to Janet.

“Shut up! Edwin.”

“Today seems to have a lot late comers. All of you better have a good explanation.”
The discipline master said as he led them towards the principal’s office.

“Jan?”
Janet looked up as she felt her name called.

“Jol??... You’re late too? I thought you not coming?”

“Janet? Who’s this guy?”
“Adrian?”
Janet stood frozen at his voice

“Jan, you and Edwin came in together?”
Jolynn was shocked as Edwin came closer.

Jolynn stared at Edwin, Edwin looked up to Adrian, Adrian glanced at Janet and Janet watched Jolynn.

The four of them stopped and began looking at each other with different perspective.

[To be Cont]