Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密


Chapter 14



I guess there are many who always wonder what it is like to live in a life when you are in a relationship. There would be someone who would take care of you; there will always be someone who will be in your mind as both of you parted ways.

If you have not been in a relationship before, you would think it’s like an ice-cream, so sweet and appealing that makes you happy the moment you got your hands to it. Every time when you see someone eating an ice-cream, you might swallow your saliva down to quench your desire.

The fact is you are probably right; a relationship is like an ice-cream. Not just the part when you look at someone having them but the challenge comes the moment you are holding onto it.

Of all things we know, ice-cream always melt faster than we could eat it. This is where the similarity of a relationship comes in place. Love appears the moment when two person comes together leaving all odds apart.

As times grew, there are many things which you would come to know regarding your partner and she will know many unpleasant past of you. Through acceptance comes the bonding of this relationship.

You would enjoy it sometimes; you would dislike it sometimes when it doesn’t go your way. Just like the ice-cream when it drips off your shirt. You might feel yourself like a complete idiot walking around with a stained shirt.

You looked at the melting ice-cream in your hands as you walked. How great difference it is the moment you got it and now. You feel frustrated because it is suppose to be an enjoyment as you’ve seen others having it. Finally you might throw the unfinished ice-cream away because it is not suppose to be the way you would want.

You would start looking for a new one.

Looking back in a relationship, there should be some reflection. We would not get what we always want; our feelings will deteriorate one day be it through time or faith and it is not as pleasant as we see others having it.

Would we end it because it is not something we want and look for a new one?

So what can we do?

We could at least enjoy it while it last.

Knowing that from the moment of having it, we remember the first taste that sets upon our tongue. We remembered the taste and feeling of the past and live to embrace it’s memories.

Even if it really ends one day, we know that we will never forget.

The memories of the relationship would put a smile back one day, when we forget about the sadness.

This is Love, nothing last forever but it existence among people will last a long time.



(This passage is dedicated My Uncle's wife who recently lost her husband through an illness. Though I don't know much about their relationship, I know my Uncle loves her very much. I knew because I ever read a peom he wrote for her during their courtship)






What does it mean to you when you are alone?

When you woke up in the late morning and realized that everyone has left the house?
Or when you decided to go for a movie alone only to realize that the whole theatre has no other soul but yourself?

What will you do when you realized you are alone?

Will you look for someone to accompany you for the rest of the day?
Or would you just enjoy the emptiness of space that you’ve gain and nobody is there to disturb you.

I have come to realize that a lot of us yearned to be alone most of the time but none of us really want to be lonely.

What was I doing before the van came?
Oh yeah, I just remembered.

Adrian and his friends were chasing me.
How unlucky to be hit by something which you never expected.


“Edwin!!”
Janet shouted from the bus stop opposite as she witness the accident.

A group of crowd gathered began to gather as Janet ran across the road.
Soon the irresistible gossip session begins as Edwin continued laid motionlessly.

“Oh this is a student from the school over there”
“What was he thinking? Didn’t he check?”
“I saw he was chased by a group of gangsters”
“Oh what happened? Extortion? Gang fight? He don’t really look like a gangster to me”

The driver was on the other side of the van trying to explain to another group of passerby that he was really innocent.

“Has anyone called an ambulance?”
Janet pleads as she pushed through the crowd.

“Oh my god, what happened?”
Janet looked at the pool of blood that was surrounding Edwin.

“Win…! Please don’t scare me…”
Janet’s hand was stained with blood as she touched him.

She was too shocked for any kind of emotional expression as she sat there with him. Trying to shake him every now and them for signs of life.

But there was no response from Edwin as he continued to lie there without moving a fringe.

The ambulance came within minutes and the paramedics shoved their way through the crowd that had gathered. One of them kneed down beside him and started examine for possible life.

“There’s still heart beat and he’s still breathing, hurry!”
One of the lady paramedics shouted to her colleagues to bring in the stretcher.

The paramedics quickly carried Edwin onto the stretcher and transferred him onto the ambulance. Just as they were leaving, Janet went up to one of the paramedics to allow her on board.

“Are you his kin? Sister?”
She was asked.

“No… but I know his father, let me go and I can contact him along the way, please”
Tears almost bust out from the edge of her eye.

“Ok, quick. We are rushing against time.”
The paramedic held her hand as she went up the ambulance.

The journey seemed forever as the ambulance turned on its siren to seek clearance of the road.
Everyone knows how important it is when the ambulance’s siren is horning. Someone’s onboard and his life is in great danger. Cars and Lorries tried to give ways as much as they could for the ambulance to maneuver through.

The internal atmosphere was a total contrast from the external traffic and sirens going on.
One paramedic was monitoring his heart pressure while the other was dressing smaller wounds.

Janet wished she could help in some ways but the situation was too much for her to handle. She could only hold his hands and pray within.

“God, if you ever exist. I don’t care how you see me. I know I’m not a good girl and I hate my own father. But please, for once… just for once, show me that you cared. Show your love to this poor child who is suffering in front of me. Please give him the strength… please don’t let him go….”

Janet was really clueless on whom she was praying to but for all it matters if there’s a God above, he would be something she really needs this very moment.

“I really need him…” she prayed in her heart.

The ambulance sped through the traffic within minutes as it arrives at the accident and emergency department at the hospital. There were already a group of nurses and doctor waiting for the victim as the paramedic brought down the stretcher and transferred to the hospital bed.

“Chinese male, 14yrs old, hit by van… back injuries, potential spinal.”
The doctor screen through the file with details of his injuries.
“Blood type, O-“
“Check his blood pressure and make sure we bring him out of this one. Lora go withdraw 1000ml of O- for standby.”

The doctor ordered his team as he led them to the operation theater.

Janet stood outside the waiting area aimlessly as the operations began. It took her almost ten minutes to clear her mind that she hasn’t informed Edwin’s father about the accident.

“Dad..?”

“Yes Janet? Is it important? I’m in a middle of a conference call”

“Edwin’s met with an accident and we’re currently at CGH A&E having operations”
Janet’s endurance finally bust as she wailed in front of her father.

“Ok, I’ll be there right away, have you called his parents?”

“I don’t know his house number, I don’t know anything”
Janet was at total lost.

“I’ll help you call the school up and ask them for his house number. I’ll go pick them up before I come here”

Janet didn’t say a word.

“There?”

“Thanks dad.”
She hung up the phone with a lighten heart.

Her father came together with Edwin’s father within half an hour.

“Is Ah Win inside?”
Edwin’s father eyes were reddened as Janet acknowledging the truth.

“What happened? What happened? Why it happened?”
Edwin’s father keeps shaking his head and mumbled to himself as he retreats to one corner of the waiting area. Suddenly he kneed down and clutched his palms together.

“Ti Gong , Goddess Kwan yim, please help my son pull through this. Please take 10 years away from me, no please take whatever I have remaining and give it to my son.”
Edwin’s father bow and knocked his head against the floor as he continued praying to the heavenly gods.

“Uncle, please”
Janet tried to help him up but he just kept praying and hitting his forehead harder to show his sincerity according to beliefs.
Janet’s father was sitting at the other corner looking up through the window. As he looked, his hand removed a necklace with a cross.

Janet’s father held tightly onto the cross and concentrate on a prayer with his eyes closed.
“Edwin, you can do it boy...” He said in whisper.

Everyone was praying for a miracle in that room.
A miracle that often failed to happen.

The vexed hearts waited for almost 5hours before the doctors finally came out.
Edwin’s father was the first to rush to the doctor for some answers.

“I’m his father, how is he?”

“You’re Mr. Ong? All our operations are considerably successful at this very moment. However…”

“Yes! My son’s ok!!” Edwin’s father rejoiced upon hearing the good news.

“Mr. Ong, Mr. Ong. Please listen”
The doctor tried to calm his joy.

“However, your son is still in a coma and still very critical. If he does not wake up after the next 48 hours, I won’t know when he will wake up”
The doctor let out a sigh as he finished his statement.

Edwin’s father’s smile was all gone as the bed was pushed out from the operations theater to the intensive care unit. There were drips of medicine and bandages all over his son as he covered his mouth and wept instantly on the sight.

“Ah boy, you will be ok. Ah Pa is here with you” His father held onto the moving bed frame along the way.

“Doc?”
Janet’s father went up to him.

“Yeah? You’re?”

“I’m… I’m his Uncle. He’s my brother’s son”
Janet’s father realized that using kinship was easier to discuss matters with doctors as they often will not reveal results or reports to friends or colleagues.

“I need to know more about his situation. What happened to him?”

“Can we discuss it over at my office?”
Janet overheard the conversation and tagged along her father.

The doctor showed a series of x-rays at his office to Janet and her father.

“The injuries sustained in this accident is one of the weirdest I’ve seen so far in my cause of work.”
The doctor used his pen to point out to the different slides of X-rays paraded.

“Although his limps and some part of his bones were fractured in the accident. All externals injuries sustained are really not life threatening.”

Janet looked at his father for response but he was too stunned for words.

“But his brains suffered the least from the accident; I have reasons to believe that the patient was knocked instantly on the back of his head.”

“You look at these two scan, we took one CT scan the moment he arrived in the hospital and it showed a few massive clots in the brain. When we operate on him, all clots were no longer there.”
The doctor circled the areas with his pen.

“It was as if the brain created the clot to absorb the pressure and protect itself… Hah! How could that possibly be?”
The doctor laughed and felt amused by his own theory.

“What are trying to say now doctor?”
Janet’s father wanted a concrete answer.

“We are confirmed that there were blood clots in his brains when he was here. Why is it there? I don’t know why is it not there now? I also don’t know. Will the clots come back? Maybe yes maybe not”
The doctor answered.

“This is why I said the next 48hrs is the most critical to see if he’s going to wake up.”
The doctor folded his arms.

Janet and her father came out more confused than before as they battled to understand the complicated theories on the clots. Though the clot issue was important, the critical thing now is Edwin must wake up from his coma.

“Uncle, how is he?”
Janet hand waved to ask as they stood outside the ICU ward as it is only meant for single visitor.

“He still hasn’t wake up”
Edwin’s father walked out from the ward.

“Janet, why don’t we go home rest first?”
Her father asked.

“Yeah, it’s ok. I’m here”
Edwin’s father assured her.

“Uncle, Can I go in and say something to Edwin before I go?”
Janet suggested.

Edwin’s father nodded and helped her put on the gowns and hair net before he stood outside the ward.

Janet walked towards the bed and lost for words on the tubing and equipments that were life supporting him.

She walked towards him and held his hand up.

“Win, be strong… I’ll be here to see you tomorrow”
Janet whispered.

As she was about to let go of her hand, Janet felt a sharp pain through her heart with a familiar voice ringing in her head.

*Don’t worry Jan, I will*


[To be Cont]