[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 4 ]

Name :- Connie
Last saw :- Late 2002..
Venue :- Last Cabin in Mrt as She alights at City Hall
Expected to be :- Happily married and living in Hougang.


People have call the 21st century as the “Age of Information Technology” as newer & more sophisticated gadgets have enabled our communications.

But my form of conversation ever resort to using letters through a pen pal in Singapore, yes, in late 1994 when I was working as a promoter at Robinsons.

Connie was a fellow promoter in another brand and her outgoing personally had made us click as we would talk about all the things that had happened before we met.

Finally, when my stint at Robinsons was over, I plucked up my courage to ask for her phone number.

“ I can’t give you my number, my mum will scold me if guys call my place”

My heart almost came to a standstill as the feeling of rejection creeps in.

“But I can give you my address, then you can write me letters?” Rather stun than happy as least we can still can keep in contact.

Well, its easy to write an email.. but it takes a lot of more effort to write a letter on a piece of paper than you think.

Feeling fresh from rejection, I wrote my first letter to her. And few days later, she returned my mail.. I can still remember the feeling of receiving someone’s letter.

She moved house once but still remain to keep in contact. We remain pen pals through 2001 when she sent her last Chinese New year card. After which there was no contact from her, and as well as me for I was in the mist of work & studies.

The last time I ever saw her after 1994 was in 2001 when she was at the same cabin as me but I wasn’t sure it was her that day

she updated her frienster recently, she was in her wedding gown. She looked really beautiful and I feel really happy for her.

I would have forgotten her face, but I’ve never forget that she was my first pen pal and remain up to date as my only penpal I ever have in my life…

I would write to her one day….

Anntonii ZeniX

September 27, 2006

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 3 ]

Name :- Wilson Goh
Last saw :- 16th September 2006..
Venue :- Somerset Party World
Expected to be :- Somewhere in Bugis as Software Sales Engineer

It’s funny that I know this person since the age of 10 and we’ve never been in the same class. Wilson is a neighbor, school mate and a good kopi buddy as we grew up in the same neighborhood. Because of his skinny build compared to my oversized figure, we can be said the weirdest of all combination of all friendship.

Since young, Wilson has not been escaped with the association with “Monkey”. In primary school, he was called “Lao Monkey” which literally means “Old Monkey”. Until today, we are still not too sure about the originator of this phrase and of course, we still can’t understand why “Old” was included.

Wilson was not spared in Secondary school either as this time, he was referred as “Xiao Ki” (Small Monkey and this time the originator had a better description than the previous).

We have always got a lot of stuffs to interact and often he was someone whom I can tell my problems to. I remembered he was the one who accompanied me right before my enlistment. We went to 7 eleven to get some stuffs as naturally I couldn’t sleep.

In 1998, My first book out of camp ended in disaster-mood as Wilson was in the mist of breaking up with his girlfriend that time. Our pubbing session ended within 2hours and him as dead drunk and had to sleep over at my place. We’ve never mention that incident ever again as I would believe it was one of his lowest moment in life and yes it was the FIRST time I ever saw he cried, think he was really sad.

In 2000, we had a small rift because of someone. I’m glad I’ve chose not to give up this friendship that time if not I might have lost 2 very good friends. This incident had also make me realize the importance of friendship and one day it will definitely tested.

I see Wilson as someone who is under a lot of pressure from his elder siblings & his future wife. Bet his ego and pride gotta have some kind of relation in this.

Sometimes I wonder what type of person am I in front of him, What kind of person he see me as? What kind of inspiration he can draw from me.

Maybe one day he might tell me….

Anntonii ZeniX

September 20, 2006

[ My Academic Path ]

11th September 2006 will be the day I sat for last paper for the current course which I’m studying. Somehow I don’t feel that I will ever touch another course in my life again, ok I think I’m just over reacting.

I was never the study type of person I guess.

Every Singaporean grows up to give chase on academic grounds as what you study and how much you study directly correlates with your destiny in future.

My GCE O’ levels were probably the worst examinations I ever took but somehow it doesn’t turn out to be that bad today.

My secondary school grades were rather miserable as I was in the stage of giving up education all together. I hated everything that is taught in school as I prefer a life without the burden of grades comparison with your future.

I sat alone in the toilet when our report cards had given out and cried when I saw my results. Well. I failed during the second year, failed everything and was prepared to go for a 5 year normal course instead of four.

In the twist of events, “someone” fight for me and added grades to push me up to continue my 4 year express course.

I went to secondary 3 without much hope of achieving much.

My grades didn’t pick up as much as people had hoped until I was literally talked out some sense by a rookie teacher.

Ms Joanne Lee as I will always remember, a Math teacher really knocked some sense out of me when she pulled me out of class and have a good talk.

Somehow I did managed to put an end to the falling grades and barely passed my O levels with an aggregate of 23 points.. with Math as my highest B3.

To most people, this is quite an embarrassing result but to my parents, they were already very contented without having to retain or retaking O levels.

1995 was the year I went to Temasek Polytechnic studying Diploma in Mechatronics. My 3 years in poly was remembered with mixture of ups and downs but my grades weren’t that bad although I wasn’t one of the top students in class.

Out if the 38 papers I took, I scored 4As, 15Bs, 12Cs, and 7Ds. Well those As were mainly Engineering Mathematics. To some, this result was merely a reflection of an average student but my parents were more than delighted than I managed to complete my tertiary education eventually.

When I came out to work, I realized the importance of education. Not only it bring a person to a higher level of work but also cultivate a person’s a character with the intensive focus and concentration.

I picked up my courage to study for my Bachelor of Engineering in Mechatronics in 2002 with the financial help of my parents. I think they were quite shock that I decided to continue my studies as they never thought I would come this far on my own.

It was really tough having to manage Work, Studies and Relationship at the same time, as at times I just felt like giving up altogether.

My first failure in education was officially my subject on Instrumental Control as I scored an aggregate of 46/100 overall. I remembered I was rather stunned during the whole day when I knew my results.

My colleagues and parents tried to console me and tell me not to give up. Failure was really hard to accept but I managed to retake my exams and graduated in time with my classmates.

Overall of 13 examination subjects, I got 2 Distinctions, 3 Credits and 8 Passed. (Yes, you probably have guessed it correctly that 1 of the Distinction I’ve got was Math again..)

I’ve calculated my score and realized that if I didn’t fail my Instrumental Control, there was really a chance that I would have gotten a 2nd Lower Honors. But nevertheless, I’ve graduated and wore my “Four-edged Hat” and did my parents some proud moments in life.

In 2005, I took my Advance Diploma in Business Management. This was to make up for my dream of studying business when I would have wanted to.

Out of the 6 subjects I’ve taken, 2As, 2Bs and 2 pending results.

I hardly tell my parents about my grades.
When they asked, I would have replied, “should be able to pass”

That’s why they were quite shock that I was able score As in my management studies when my results were sent to my place.

“Young time don’t want to study well, wait until old then put in effort” was the only comment that they’ve contributed.


My academicals resume looks impressive to some but it’s also an indication of never giving up.

My boss asked if I’ve become addicted to studying. My friends asked if I’ve become a paper-chaser.

I just replied, “I just want to accomplish something which I didn’t when I had the opportunity”

I plan to take my Masters in BA in 2009/2010 or if I’ve able to get a managerial job in future.

All this, I wouldn’t have done it without someone saying to me in 1993..

“If you can, why won’t you want to achieve?”

Yes, I can and I want to achieve…

Anntonii Zenix

16th Sept 2006

[ What's your Hobbies ? ]

“So Mr Anntonii, can you tell me what’s your hobby?”
The interviewer smiled when he saw my shocked look.

I was certainly taken aback when he asked me this question.

Here I was, being interviewed for a potential post in a well known company but I have never prepared the question he had just posted.

“ I erm…. I read… some books you know, and I club a little when I wanna destress…”

Personally, I don’t know how much truth came out of that sentence but I guess I never looked good when I supposed to.

“So what’s my hobby?”

I asked myself after the interview on my way home.

“Is hobby something you do to pass time?” “If so, that would be easy, my hobby would be to sleep through the day without having to worry about the world”

I remembered I wasn’t taught this way.

A Hobby, as much as I recalled when I first understand this word, means doing an activity which you really like and feel happy about it.

“Hobby is an activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure.”

I tried to think hard, trying to recall what was the last activity which I did out of my regular occupation and engaged for pleasure..

I used to play arcade a lot.. that was a long time ago when the fundamentals of entertainment was revolving coins and characters beating up each other in the screen.

I used to party a lot and I guess I really enjoyed it. The quick rhythm at the dance floor, the friends that surround you, the spirit of togetherness.

I used to play mahjong a lot. The four of us would entertain each other even though we played through the wee hours and sometimes losing a lot of money.

I used to drink coffee with my friends a lot. We would just sit there and talk about everything under the sun, the scandals, the conspiracies, the hidden truth and the facts of life.

Of all the pleasures I had, I realized that I wasn’t doing it anymore. I didn’t play arcade for a long time, mahjong was only a Chinese New year thingy. I don’t club as much as I want to and the coffee sessions are countable.

Maybe the things that gives me the slightest pleasure is to be able to enjoy the moments with friends, family or love ones.

We can be doing nothing, yet time is well spent and pleasures find its place in you.

I finally understand what my hobby is.

“My Hobby is to spend time with my friends, my family members and my wife. We can be doing absolutely nothing but it is the time that is we spent together that reap in the moments of pleasures in life”

That’s my hobby… so what’s yours?

Anntonii Zenix Lim

September 7, 2006

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 2 ]

Name :- Xie Rou Han
Last saw :- Around Mid 2000..
Venue :- Millenia Walk - Sins Chocolate
Expected to be :- Shanghai Louis Vutton Boutique

Sometimes its funny that you’ve last seen a person and you wonder how you and the person can lose contact over and again.

Rouhan was a junior in my secondary school where she was introduced to the whole group of us. She’s from Taiwan and speaks fluent mandarin which sounds like a news anchor to me. It was someone in our group who fancy her that actually made me closer to her. Well I was merely trying to dig out information for my buddy.

However, they didn’t got along so that chapter was closed rather quickly. But we remain contact with each other and would often chat unknowingly long hours over the phone. Maybe it was her fluent mandarin which attracts my attention that I like to listen to her speak. Oh well.. different people have taste for likeness I supposed.

The year was 1994 where we completed our O levels and venturing into different aspect of education life. It was then when we began to talk less, as we were quite a world apart.

Finally, we’ve lost contact… in 1995…

I know she went to Australia to study in RMIT after her O levels as she sent a postcard to me with her email address. Added her in ICQ but rarely see her online.

The last time I saw her was the time when she came back for holidays where she was working part-time at Sins Chocolate at mid 2000.
She aged as I saw her from far.. it took me to walk past the shop 4 times before I walked in. When she saw me, she was rather surprised that I pay her a visit as I promised I would. We talked about 5mins then it was it, I left because she was busy.

That was the last time I’ve seen her..

Well, sometimes I asked myself. Do I ever develop a liking in her? I don’t really know, maybe in 1993 yes.. or maybe not, nevertheless its no longer important anymore.

One thing for sure, Rouhan is someone who has left an imprint in my heart. Someone whom I would want to see again in my life, someone who I would like to listen to one more time.

Anntonii ZeniX

September 7, 2006

[ People Whom I’ll never forget ]

A lot of people passed through our lives each and everyday but often little made as much as some of them whom you have shared tears or blood with. They could be your friend, your family, your classmates, someone whom you loved or some whom you’ve only managed to know a little.

These are the people whom I’ll never forget.. & I hope you are one of them…

Name :- Eric Lim Zhi Hao
Last saw :- Around Late 1988..
Venue :- Min Xin Primary School
Expected to be :- Somewhere in Holland/Singapore

Eric Lim was one of my classmates in primary school, someone whom I’m quite close with. Someone who would joined me in the things I do when I was young.

We went for tuition classes together at our neighborhood and I started my first lesson with him. Somehow we clicked and became close friends who shared secrets with.

I remembered one day, before our usual tuition class, he asked me to go to one of the playgrounds behind the blocks. We were sitting at the swings and there were much silence, I sensed something wrong so I asked him what’s up.

He didn’t say anything. He just cried as there was no way to hold back tears from a 9yr old.

“My parents are going to Holland and I will be leaving with them soon”

I didn’t said much to him either, except to cheer him up telling him that Holland is a beautiful place and you can see windmills & Dutch ladies milking cows.

“Hey friend, gonna miss you man” he just said.
“Don’t worry, we can still contact each other through letters” I proposed.
“ And if we keep on contact, we will meet up one day” I continued.

“Really? We will?” he dried his tears.

“Yes, and when I grow up and earn enough money, I will go to Holland to visit you then you must bring me around!”

He left very soon after our last meeting at the playground.

We tried to keep contact through letters for the first year.. then the letters was exchanged on a longer period before we finally lost contact.

It’s strange for a 9 year old to be able to keep that kind of promise and this have always been one of the friends whom I hope to see.

I don’t know where is he or how is he doing now. Maybe he would have forgotten our friendship or that insignificant remarks we made 18years ago.

But as a friend, I know I would never forget this person.

And if I ever see him again I would simply wanna asked him “hey pal, how’s life?”


Anntonii Zenix Lin Shun Yi

September 6, 2006

[ Music heals thy soul ]

What is your favorite lesson when you were in school?

Well, mine was somewhat associated with music and choir singing. One of the reasons why I like it so much is maybe because you won’t feel so bad if you are not good at it. Unlike most other subjects which determines your “be soooooo damned” future in later stage of life.

Music is something which is felt within, I guess. It’s an art to a certain extend... because it’s either you are good or simply not! ~ It’s hard to get a mark, except certain grades which nobody bothers.

The good ones will usually entertain the rest of the class with their vocals whereas the bad ones also entertain the class with a somewhat different way, as most of the time we were all roared with laughter upon hearing something which is so alienate.

Do you still remember the songs you used to sing when you were young? I remembered liking a particular when I was young. I didn’t know who the singer was except that I find the lyrics very meaningful to some extend. Hey I was only 8 that time and recently, with the help of some rusty memories of the lyrics, I managed to trace to the original singer.

[ Today ]
Vocal: John Denver* Written by: Randy Sparks

CHORUS: Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

I'll taste your strawberries,

I'll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away

Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today

I'll be a dandy and I'll be a rover

You'll know who I am by the song that I sing

I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover

Who cares what the morrow shall bring?

CHORUS I can't be contented with yesterday's glory

I can't live on promises winter to spring

Today is my moment and now is my story

I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing

People have told me that music is the only common language around the world with so many races & religion. I guess that explains why people would go to the extend of “stealing” music not being afraid of getting caught.

Have you come across a song that is associated with you through a difficult time? It could be a slow song, an happy song.. a sad song which signifies your heartache?

Well I do….

and below are some songs which mean something to me in a way or another

Expose – I’ll never get over you, get it over me
A memory of the first person I liked, well the title said it all doesn’t it?

Tiffany – If Love is blind.
· Sometimes I really wished if Love is blind…

Mariah Carey – Hero.
· I guess I’ll never be able to be the hero to protect her…

XJapan – Tears
· To think I can actually cried when I hear this single.. and the story of us which was not meant to be.

Guang Liang – Shi Ni Bian Le Ma? >> ‘Are you the one that has changed ?’
· Do you know when I sang this song in the KTV, I shed a tear and sounded so much like Guang liang but you weren’t there to see.

Faye Wong / Chen Xiao Dong – Wo Yuan Yi >> ‘I Will’
· A song which I hope I will be able to sing on my wedding night.

The list of songs will continue as our story goes, every song means a different story with different people. What is more important is that the story that was told within the song. Somewhere out there, I guess there will be people whom might relate their songs with the ones which have hit me the deepest.

If you don’t believe me, think of a person, then think of a song which correlate the two of you together, then play the song. That person will appear in your dream.

And you will have a beautiful dream tonight. ......

Because Music not only heals your heart, it also heals your soul.....

Anntonii

August 23, 2006

[ I like it when it rains ]

I like it when it rains.. it gives me a feeling that the world is going through a cleaning process, some people would think the world is taking a bath, others would think its the heaven’s weeping over someone.

A lot of people I know like to sleep in when it rains, maybe they feel that the comfort of staying in a sheltered premises is a form of blessings compared to the millions that had lost their homes due to the thunderstorm and hurricane. I’ve never wished for rain to come at night, that’s when both my parents are out working.

I don’t like to sleep when it rains, although my piggish nature would probably allow me to sleep through any weather.

I like to look out the windows and just look at the view of the world drench in almost every bit of space. Children loves to play in the rain, maybe its because they feel strange that water can actually from the sky and not only from the hose in the house.

When I’m outside, I would love to sit back in cafeteria and look at people’s reaction whenever there’s a rain. Some would dash for cover, some would walk slowly, others will continue to wait for their love ones with an umbrella.

Will you share your umbrella with a stranger if you were waiting to cross a road? Well at least I’ve tried and the reaction I got was rather good as both of us were partially drenched but warm at heart.

Recently, I read up a book which talks about the first drop of rain, which is said that like love, the first drop of rain is fated to drop onto a person. The last drop of rain is always visible…

Who would have forgotten we used to sing this song?

"Rain, Rain go away
Come again another day…."

I wished it would rain now…