--{ A Lost Valentine }--

~~{Prologue}~~

Everybody knows Valentine ’s Day falls on the 14th of February. Nobody ever needs to tell you it's a special day, even though the government doesn't recognize it as a holiday. Yet strange thing is, everybody seems to indulge into the very existence of this day.

For this very day gives the feeling of acceptance by the very special someone deep in our heart. Someone whom we openly pour our emotions, and showered with love. The joy of receiving a Valentine's Day card is unexplainable with excitement bursting through the veins. What if the card you received is late…

after 10 years.?

Chapter 2

[ The Letter from the past ]

“Good evening, this is the evening news from Singapore. Over to local headlines, 99 couples gathered at the registrar of marriage to embark on this very special day of love as they took their vowed witness by their family & friends… Prices of roses is sky rocketing to an intriguing $25 per stalk......”

“Argh.. boring news and all these crazy people out there who don't have better things to do..”

Ken moaned as he begin his rounds of channel surfing.

“So what if today's Valentine's Day?, so what if I don't have anyone to accompany me go out? So what if I think guys going out on Valentine's Day is a sissy thing.”
Seems like the whole world is in love, maybe not. Not today, not in this tiny place where I’m don't seems to belong in.

Thoughts wondered through the thin air as Ken laid the living room.
“Dad & Mom are having their 3rd honeymoon, how enterprising. I ought to go out and have a breather too” Ken thought as he head into the showers.
It is a good day today, maybe the heavens didn't want to sink the hearts of truly, madly, deeply beloved couple who live today like it was the last day of their life.

As Ken walked past his letterbox, something tingled in his body to open up.

"No way, there's going to be a letter for me on this day" Ken sighed.
As Ken opened the letterbox, something yellowish caught his attention within the pile of advertisment & brochure. Not only the letter caught his eyes, the stamps used was also made Ken most particular.

It was a 15 cent yellow flowered stamp.

"That's strange, thought the price for local mails is coming to 30cents already?"

Ken looked at the letter once more... the chop on the stamp was 1997 instead of 2007

A Letter dated 10 years ago? To me on a Valentine's Day?
Is it a joke or something? How can this be happening to me?

Ken re-examine the stamp once more. There were no mistakes, the stamp chop was indeed from year 1997. The mailman couldn't be wrong, even if they do, they won't have made such a huge mistake as such.

Adrenaline rushed through his body as Ken opened the letter.
Out of the envelope came a yellowish folded letter. He wondered where the letter had been all along these years as he slowly can carefully unfold the letter.

Ken have never seen the handwriting before… but the neatly arranged paragraph and words spacing was one of the nicest he had ever saw in his life.

Only a computer would have such nice writing..

“Hi Ken.. or maybe I should call you Pig head with a pea brain,

You won’t have guessed that you will receive a Valentine’s day letter will you?
Yeah right, not in this life that is.

You’ll never noticed about the girls around you.
Maybe you were gay and like guys more.
Maybe you think nobody will like you..
Maybe you think all the good girl out there have already been taken up?

Guess what? You are wrong all along!
I’m a good girl,
not only consider myself pleasant looking but also having personalities.!

Most importantly, I’m always around you, through good times & bad.

I was there on your first day of school.
I was there when you failed your 1st mid-year exams.
I was there when you went to the chapel and cried.
I was there when you enjoyed the camping trip.
I was there when you got punished by the vice principal to apologize on stage.
I was there when you lost in your basketball & table tennis.

I was there… always did.. always will..

Being a secret admirer is indeed torturing as I can’t bear the looks of your happiness with other girls & yet I can’t stand seeing you all alone.

On this 14th Feb 1997 Valentine’s Day, I’ve pluck up all the courage that I never think I could to tell you this.

I like you, Ken, I really do…
But I can’t bear the sight of looking at you when telling you this.. therefore I choose this letter to be my confider, my representative.

If you accept me, please come to the school gate tonight at 9.00pm.
I will wait for you….
Just like I’ve always been

If I never see you, it will mean that you do not intend to accept me, therefore I will carry on my life without you.
Just like I’ve always been.

Luv,

S(43)M,
12th Feb 1997 "

Who in the world is SM43 ? Why did she know so much about me?
It should be one of the girls back at school.. but how to find her now?

Ken just can’t stop thinking about all the possible names that might be her..

Belinda? Pamela? Sharon? Karen? Shirley?

Wait.. what’s with the sign off name …. “S43M”
It doesn’t make sense to be a name..

‘S’ is the christen name with ‘M’ as surname?
If that’s the case…. Who in the world will that person be???

Samantha Ma? Sally Mok?
Oh… wait, maybe she was a mixed?
Sophie Maniz Lee

What’s with the “43” ? … is that some kind of class register or something..

With all the possible indications that Ken have, there was no way that he could ever find the mail sender, even if he did… he won’t know what to tell her…

Tell her that the mail was only delivered today? 14th Feb 2007… 10 years after it was sent out? How illogical can this be and how many people will actually believe him?

“hey Janice, its me Ken! How's life been good for you?”

Ken seek for help as he called one of his ex-classmate, Janice.
Janice was like a “brother” to him as she was less feminine than the rest of the girls and it was all along rumored that she was a lesbian. ...

[ To be cont.. ]

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 6]

Name :- MArk Lee Yee Siang

Last saw :- Jan 2007..

Venue :- The road below my apartment
where he passed me the Lay’s Potato Chips

Expected to be :- Somewhere in ASM as Customer Service Engineer


“Hello! I’m not the same MArk Lee as the Mediacorp artist & yes I’m much more good looking than him”

This phrase caught me a few times as people came up to him with this lame assumption.

I’ve known Mark since Poly days but never really closed until we met up in our part time class in PSB Academy. I didn’t know he was in the same course as I until the first day of class and so we clicked like old friends reunion.

The 2½ years during my pursued of my Degree was properly one of the most stressful times I ever had.

Mark & I went through a lot of Pre-Exams Anxiety together but always we would talk cock rather than really put our hearts into the preparations. Of course, we didn’t do really well either, much to our expectations when we first set out to achieve.

Perhaps one of the times which I would remember for along time is during our trip to Australia, New South Wales for our 1-week lab attachment in 2002 & 2003.

The road trip was quite a remarkable one and the fact that it caught us in a situation for our ELEC3230 lab report was even more unforgettable.

Till this day, we still don’t know who sold us out that day & even though we put our claims towards one person, it remains one of the life mysteries which we will never have the answer.

Whenever we are together, no matter how long we have not seen each other or even lost contact, sheer cockness will struck upon whenever or whereever we start our conversation again. This is what people may call chemistry perhaps.

No matter how many people used to tell me how they think you will not be able to make it. I reckon you will because you are the one who tell me this…

“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Luke 11:9

Hope you have found a new meaning in life… Amen.

Anntonii ZeniX Lim

29th April 2007

[ - The day I swallowed my pride - ]

Pride, often a word that people talk about and how some of them actually fought and died over it in the past. I just felt I lost my pride the other day.

You see, I grow up without having any problems financially. To put it to a point that I've hardly ever borrowed any money from friends before.

So I didn't realize how difficult it is to open your mouth to ask for something taboo which people will change their perspective towards you.

"What's the problem?" most of them asked,
And so it began that people starts to probe into my problem rather than telling me whether or not they can spare some cash. It the end, they got their satisfaction by knowing the problem never mind how bad situation I was in.

Some of the people I've asked are those who've known me for many many years.
Times like this, I would have at least hoped for people to pull me through when you realized you only have $30 to last a week.

In the end, it was my colleagues who helped me pull through to my payday.
In the end, I understand how importance it is to have cash flow.
In the end, nobody whom I “expected” would have helped, did anything.

My current situation did turn for the better but that didn’t mean I’ve got out of my debts.
To put it in a way, I don’t really need people’s help at this point of time.

I asked myself, would I help other people when they required any financial assistance next time?
I don’t know,
But one thing for sure, I won’t be asking them why they need the money.

I’ll just simply reply an “ok” or “sorry can’t support”

And I will never take anyone for granted that they are supposed to help me.

The worse may have been over but I will never forget the time which I swallowed my pride.
Glad it didn’t choked on me.

Anntonii Zenix Lim

6th April 2007

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 5 ]

Name :- Ken Guan Zhen Hong

Last saw :- December 2006..Venue :- LaiChee’s Wedding Dinner

Expected to be :- Somewhere in Lenovo as Product Manager


Zhenhong, as I’m not used to calling him preferred ‘Ken’, is someone whom I’ve known since secondary one days.. around 1991.

Mention “Bermuda Triangle” and it might ring a bell among the three of us, including Aaron.We were in the same class during sec 1, and often being plucked at by Mrs Charlotte Heng, our then form teacher.

ZhenHong was the richer guy I know, cos he has got addition income of $120 per month on top of his allowance. That money was suppose to be for his tuition but he sacked his tutor and never told his parents.

Maybe because of this new found richness that he could afford to give me a present of a Ixis Wallet (Green/black) so that everyone of us could carry an Ixis around.

The most memorable times is that we shared failure together, during the first semester of seconardy 1.

I’ve got 49.9 for my English. (yeah, when you failed English, you failed Everything..) He’s got 49.9 for overall. (yeah, so what if he passed his English?)

We sat in the chapel of our school for reflectness and sort of grief for our misbehaviour perhaps. And so it did, we passed our year 1 and managed to get on with our academic path. Then on, we did not have the chance to be studied in the same class ever again.

He’s the one who taught me how to play majong and our usual gatherings while skipping school would end up either in his house playing majong or at the arcade plying on Street Fighter 2.

Time have passed since the days when we get together.

ZhenHong has got himself a good wife in Shumei where the story of them could be rewrote in a soap drama. Currently Shumei is expecting their first baby.

Our gatherings are getting lesser each year, maybe age & family responsibility has caught up with time. But deep down, I’m glad I ever have this wonderful friend.

Someone who shared a great deal of memories during my secondary school days.

Someone whom I’ll still call Zhen(1), Zhen(2), Zhen(3), Zhen(4) Hong…

Anntonii Zenix Lim

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 4 ]

Name :- Connie
Last saw :- Late 2002..
Venue :- Last Cabin in Mrt as She alights at City Hall
Expected to be :- Happily married and living in Hougang.


People have call the 21st century as the “Age of Information Technology” as newer & more sophisticated gadgets have enabled our communications.

But my form of conversation ever resort to using letters through a pen pal in Singapore, yes, in late 1994 when I was working as a promoter at Robinsons.

Connie was a fellow promoter in another brand and her outgoing personally had made us click as we would talk about all the things that had happened before we met.

Finally, when my stint at Robinsons was over, I plucked up my courage to ask for her phone number.

“ I can’t give you my number, my mum will scold me if guys call my place”

My heart almost came to a standstill as the feeling of rejection creeps in.

“But I can give you my address, then you can write me letters?” Rather stun than happy as least we can still can keep in contact.

Well, its easy to write an email.. but it takes a lot of more effort to write a letter on a piece of paper than you think.

Feeling fresh from rejection, I wrote my first letter to her. And few days later, she returned my mail.. I can still remember the feeling of receiving someone’s letter.

She moved house once but still remain to keep in contact. We remain pen pals through 2001 when she sent her last Chinese New year card. After which there was no contact from her, and as well as me for I was in the mist of work & studies.

The last time I ever saw her after 1994 was in 2001 when she was at the same cabin as me but I wasn’t sure it was her that day

she updated her frienster recently, she was in her wedding gown. She looked really beautiful and I feel really happy for her.

I would have forgotten her face, but I’ve never forget that she was my first pen pal and remain up to date as my only penpal I ever have in my life…

I would write to her one day….

Anntonii ZeniX

September 27, 2006

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 3 ]

Name :- Wilson Goh
Last saw :- 16th September 2006..
Venue :- Somerset Party World
Expected to be :- Somewhere in Bugis as Software Sales Engineer

It’s funny that I know this person since the age of 10 and we’ve never been in the same class. Wilson is a neighbor, school mate and a good kopi buddy as we grew up in the same neighborhood. Because of his skinny build compared to my oversized figure, we can be said the weirdest of all combination of all friendship.

Since young, Wilson has not been escaped with the association with “Monkey”. In primary school, he was called “Lao Monkey” which literally means “Old Monkey”. Until today, we are still not too sure about the originator of this phrase and of course, we still can’t understand why “Old” was included.

Wilson was not spared in Secondary school either as this time, he was referred as “Xiao Ki” (Small Monkey and this time the originator had a better description than the previous).

We have always got a lot of stuffs to interact and often he was someone whom I can tell my problems to. I remembered he was the one who accompanied me right before my enlistment. We went to 7 eleven to get some stuffs as naturally I couldn’t sleep.

In 1998, My first book out of camp ended in disaster-mood as Wilson was in the mist of breaking up with his girlfriend that time. Our pubbing session ended within 2hours and him as dead drunk and had to sleep over at my place. We’ve never mention that incident ever again as I would believe it was one of his lowest moment in life and yes it was the FIRST time I ever saw he cried, think he was really sad.

In 2000, we had a small rift because of someone. I’m glad I’ve chose not to give up this friendship that time if not I might have lost 2 very good friends. This incident had also make me realize the importance of friendship and one day it will definitely tested.

I see Wilson as someone who is under a lot of pressure from his elder siblings & his future wife. Bet his ego and pride gotta have some kind of relation in this.

Sometimes I wonder what type of person am I in front of him, What kind of person he see me as? What kind of inspiration he can draw from me.

Maybe one day he might tell me….

Anntonii ZeniX

September 20, 2006