Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 20


What will be the most difficult thing you will do for the one you now love?

For some, it would be to forget about the past relationships that they had gone through.

No matter what went wrong, what happened between the two of you earlier, you will still somehow remember the person deep inside your heart?

Most of them will admit that we still think of the pervious person that we once shared.

It could be a song both of us used to sing in karaoke.
It could be a movie both of us shed our tears to.
It could even be a path or place we used to go.

The smallest of all memories that unfolds itself slowly through the deep emotions inside you.

Sometimes we are angry with our current partners for remembering their ex. Once the jealousy starts, it never ends.

But have we ever asked ourselves why we can’t forget about them?

I did not forget about her, that someone who used to share my life with. I remember what I did that angered her, what I did that made her very happy. I remember all the arguments we ever had and all the tears she shed for me.

I remember all these so that I can treat my current girl all the corrected thoughts and feelings.

People once told me “To live is to first learn to love. You will only know about life when you start to love.”
I find it only half true.

I would believe “To live is to first dare to love, then experience the heartache of losing it and finally finding the courage to love correctly again.”

Only then you will know what love and life is all about.





The plane departed Shanghai on a Sunday afternoon. Christine was again sleeping on the plane and Mark had to be contented with the entertainment system again.

He had always wanted to know how Christine is able to sleep on the plane. Little did he knew this time Christine wasn’t sleeping. She was only avoiding him.

The plane arrival at Changi Terminal 1 on Sunday night.

Mark and Christine parted their ways at the airport, as both parents were there to fetch them. As both of them walked out of the arrival hall, Mark had to pretend he didn’t know Christine at all to avoid her father.

Mark did get an eyeful of her father as Christine hugged him.
He was glad he didn’t walked out together with her based on her father’s physical build.

Once reached home, Mark and had a good bath and dinner before unpacking his luggage.

As he separates out all the dirty laundry, Mark found a uniquely looking pen inside.

“Wow... that looks expensive. I wonder whose pen is it. Maybe Chris? Nah.. Shouldn’t be. It certainly looks like a men’s pen to me. Maybe it’s Zhong Liang or Wenbin’s”

Mark thought for a moment relating to his China counterparts.

“Whatever! Finders’ Keepers!” That was the only conclusion drawn on his mind as he kept his pen in the drawer.

Mark was drained from the flight then he went to bed immediately after unpack his stuffs.

As he lay down on his bed, Mark is sure looking forward to tomorrow.
Not because that he loved to go to work but having the chance to see Jade again.

The night was quiet as his sweet dreams blossoms.


Morning came and Mark was all ready to go out after having breakfast. He had time his move very precise so as to be able to see Jade on the train.

It seemed rather childish to some people that Mark HAD her phone numbers, he could simply dial her up and ask to meet up.

But he didn’t. He wanted to play a game.

To Mark, this was call the game of destiny.

To find someone in the crowds, without the aid of anything, anyone. Just purely analytical sense and luck.

Maybe this is what fate is all about.
Finding the right person at the right time.

This was how he founded his first girlfriend, Jade.
He had never play this game since.

But when he reached the MRT station, Mark had decision to make.
It was as if the simplest decision he had to make.

A simple choice that stands at fifty-fifty chance.

But Front or Back cabin?

Mark stood at the middle of the platform with deep thoughts analyzing the situation.

The last time he saw her, she was in the front cabin. However he did not see her the very day.

“Could she went back to the back cabin since we already settled our differences?”

Before Mark could make up his decision, the train arrived at the platform. As it was the timing of the train Jade would usually take, Mark had to hop onto the train to make up his mind again.

Mark was squeezed and pushed by the fellow commuters to the inner portion of the cabin. As it was rather jammed at the early peak hours, it was near impossible for him to move.

A earlier determined Mark had to give up for the day. He just looked out of the window as the train continued its journey.

“Maybe we are not fated at all.”

His thoughts began to stagnant before he heard a voice behind him.

“So… we meet again? Hee hee”

The voice was crystal clear and sends waves of excitement through the spines of Mark. It was the voice he had shared long conversations with and longing to hear again.

Mark turned around to look for the source but he looked in vain. There was nowhere that he could see her.

“Here lah…”

The owner of the voice waved at Mark, she was sitting just beside him as he stood.

“Jade? Hey!”

Mark got a pleasant shock as he finally locates her.

Jade had her spectacles removed and put on light makeup. Whatever triggered the transformation didn’t matter. What matter most was the outcome.

Jade looked really glorious without her specs.
Gone was her usual long sleeves and blouse office style ‘uniform’.
Instead a low cut floral dress fitted right through her curvy figure.

It was not as amazing like the ‘ugly duckling tale’ as Jade didn’t looked that bad in the beginning. It was really more towards those pretty girl-next-door transform into a highly impressive socialite kind of scene.

Jade was definitely more feminine than before and Mark looked at her from a different prospective.

As his mouth opened, all that he could ever say out was

“Wow…”

Jade looked at the stunned Mark.

“Do I looked that bad? It took me a lot of courage to start wearing this you know.”

Jade started to adjust her dress.

“No.. you look great.. really. I’m totally speechless.”

Mark literally mouth-watered.

“Well.. looks like we are fated to meet again.”
Jade smiled. She looked exceptionally sweet this time.

“Yup.. how come you are in the middle of the train? You should be at the last cabin as usual?”

“Well, my card ran out of money so I have to top up. Then the train arrived when I reached the platform, so I just board in the middle.”
Jade shrugged.

“That’s really great!~”
Mark couldn’t believe how lucky he felt.

If her card was fully topped or he chose either end of train, both of them would not have met.

The two of them paused for a moment before Mark continued.

“So how are you?”
Mark started the usual round of talks as he did not where to start again.

“I’m fine, your soup really helped. You gotta teach me how to cook them one day.”

“Why not this weekend?”
Mark just blurted out.




“Hmmmm… I have to confirm with you again. It’s still too early to say mah. Maybe there are other guys who wanna date me too?”

Jade winked.

“Oh ok… we’ll see how again.”
The tone of his voice brought out the disappointment in him.

“Anyway, you’ve got my numbers right? You can always sms me nearing weekend.”

Jade relight his hopes one more.

Time passed too quickly when you least expected. The train arrived at Yishun at the rate that Mark could not accept. He wanted to continue the journey to Raffles Place but he hesitated.

It was Monday morning and his boss needs to have a meeting with him and Christine to discuss about last weekend’s presentation and follow up on the responses.

“Hey.. I got to alight.”

“Yeah.. you have a great day ahead ok?”

“Alright, bye…”

Mark bid farewell before pulling himself out of the train before the door closes. The route to office from the train station seemed longer than the train journey.

--------------------------------------

Mark was the first to reach the office. The quietness of being alone was disturbed with the voice of a fully charged soul.

“Dude! My brother! Congrats on your presentation!”

Shaun opened up his arms and shouted the front door as he enters.

“Hey man! Thanks”

“So.. did you.. and Chris… erhm.. you know .. you know..”
Shaun was elbowing him as he bitched.
“What? What do you want to ask?”
Mark shot back.

“Well… only a blind person won’t know she carries a torch for you. Didn’t the two you have a good time at Shanghai?”

“Yeah.. we spent through midnight!”

“WICKED!!!”

“Shut up Shaun, we were only rushing through the presentation.”

“Chey!! Spoiler! Boring bastard.”

“Hi guys, good morning! I’ve bought breakfast for everyone.”
Christine entered the office.

“Oh hiya Missy Tan. Oh my… you smell damn nice”
Shaun breathed her up as she walked past.

Christine stepped on his foot as she placed his breakfast on his table.
“Of course it’s nice. It’s Gucci.”

“Morning Mark.”
Christine placed his share too.

The three of them then spend the rest of the morning clearing up the unread emails.

Boss had initiated a debrief at 1100hr.

“Mark and Chris, both of you had done a great job. I have receive various compliments from Sales side and our China counterparts. Even our MD looks forward to an aggressive sales after your performance.”

“Thanks Mr. Lee, for the chance”
Mark replied.

“Keep up the good work both of you, and take the rest of the day off. You must be tired from the flight yesterday. See you tomorrow.”

“So where are you heading?”
Mark asked Christine as both of them went out of their boss’s office.
“I need to go for a spa treatment, I initially wanted to take half day but since he gave us time off.. better still.”

“Alright, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Mark bid goodbye to Christine and Shaun.

As it was still early, Mark decided to take his lunch at the café where Sharon works. It had been awhile since the last time he saw her.

A stranger greeted Mark when he reached the café.

Apparently there was no sign of Sharon at the café at all as Mark scanned around.

After taking his lunch, he approached a staff at the café.

“Excuse me, is Sharon on leave today?”

The staff looked at Mark strangely.

“Sir, you didn’t know?”

“What?”

“Sharon no longer works here, in fact she had been missing for a week already, there was a newspaper report of her case few days ago but since then there was no news of her.”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 19


Everyone would want their relationship to be as romantic as what they see in the movies, as mushy and die-heartedly in the novels they read.

However Love is practical, although we wish it isn’t.

When two people get together, it’s the celebration of the union of two lost souls that found each other in the mist of hope.

As the mist begins to clear, the relationship will start to get practical.
The two of you will have arguments even with the slightest thing. What to have for dinner? Which blouse to buy? Whether should he stay in his current job or otherwise.

Money & time becomes the two most important factors in a relationship.

Monetary on, how he would disagree on you spending half your monthly pay on a bag then expect him to foot the bill for every outing.
How she would nag him on his spending on video games and technology gadgets.

Time on, how she would disagree on the coffee sessions that you’ve spent with your band of brothers.
How he would feel that you are not spending enough time with him.

As the relationship gets longer and deeper, the more problems will arise with money and time.

Then you looked back and ask yourself.

“Is this love? Or is this purely how two people allocate their time and money? Why can’t love be pure? ”

Perhaps one day you will find yourself in this situation when you talk about time or money. Love is no longer as innocent as we wished.

To maintain a relationship, you have to manage your time and money. For which any of those you can’t supply enough, you will probably lose the relationship.

This is Love, practically.



The loudness of the ring tone could be heard across the room. The phone rang for a long time with echoes of melody and vibration trembling sound swept through.

Neither of them was waken by the phone as it continue making it’s presence felt.

Mark was lying awkwardly below the bed while Christine was peacefully tucked in.

The phone or actually the caller didn’t give up, after awhile the phone rang again.

Mark was awaken by the ringing sound as he crawled himself out of the couch towards the phone.

“Yeah….Wassup?”
Mark spoke with his eyes still closed.

“Hello, who are you?”
A man spoke across the speaker.

“I’m Mark Lee lah, you call this number you don’t know who am I?”

“I’m sorry”
The caller hung up.

“Crazy….”
Mark then lie back on the floor with the phone in his hand.

Then the phone ring again.

“Yeah… what do you want?”

“Who the hell are you??!!”
It was the same man again.

“I’m Mark Lee lah! What the hell you want?”
Mark was agitated by the ignorance.

“Then where the hell is Christine?”

“She’s still sleeping, what the hell you call my number to find her?”

“Hello, Mr. Mark Lee. Please open your bloody eyes and looked at the phone carefully? Whose fucking phone is this?”

The man was clearly in rage.

It was then Mark realized he had answer Christine’s hand phone.

“Oh... shit… I’m sorry”
Then he hung up the phone.

All the commotions had woken Christine up.
She rubbed her eyes and stared at Mark who was below her bed.
Their eyes met as Mark stared back.
Then the next moment was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life as Christine screamed her voice out as if she was been slaughtered.

“Why are you here?!!! What did you do to me?”
Christine threw everything on the bed on him.

“Hey… we never did anything ok. Come on… think back, you were the one who asked me to stay.”

Mark defending himself.

“I where got so cheap! You idiot… you must have ‘spike’ the drink I had and rape me…”

Mark was equally amused and amazed by Christine’s split personality within such a short period.

“Hey Chris, Use your brain to think lah… If I would to rape you, why the hell would I be sleeping UNDER your bed?”

Mark let a sigh.

“Besides, you really think it’s like the movies arh. Rape until no feeling?? Come on… I was tucking you in bed then you asked me to accompany you. I obliged because you were crying.”

“I was crying? Ha Ha Ha very funny.. Since when?”
Christine folded her arms.

Christine’s phone rang again.

Mark stopped her before she answered.

“Hey, just want to tell you I accidentally picked up your phone just now. Please explain to your boyfriend.”

“Shut up Mark, don’t mock me for being single can?”
Christine answered the call.

“Hello… yeah Dad.. I just woke up.”

“What?!? What did he say to you????”
Christine pointed at Mark to signal her wrath.

“No daddy, it’s not what you think we did.”
Christine trying her best to prove her innocence as Mark looked on.

“Just go to the gynae, then will prove my innocence.”
Mark urged her on.

“It’s ok dad. Please trust me. I will take care of myself, sorry for didn’t call back when I touched down.”
Christine seems to cool down.

Mark decided to go back to his room after sensing everything was back to normal. His move towards the door was stopped by a sudden burst of loud scream of rage.

Before Mark knew it, he was kicked several times by a woman that was on a rampage.

“Never offend a women as most probably you will be killed, it’s only a matter of when.”

This thought lingered in his mind as he limped his way back to his room.

On the other hand, there was a feeling of happiness and fun felt throughout the bashing. It was as if back to old times when you made fun of the girl in school and she chased you a few blocks over it.

--------------------------------------


It was lunch time when the two of them finally meet.

Christine was still pissed from her body language.

“Hey Chris… I’m sorry ok? I was drunk too you know.”

“Jerk, don’t talk as if we had done it. We never ok?”

“Ok… My entire fault. I’ve been bash by you already. Let’s call it even? We still need to work together till this weekend.”

Mark scratched his head as he apologized. It was something he rarely did. Christine looked at Mark, who clapped his hands in a prayer manner.

“Please?”

“Has anyone ever told you, you look like a complete idiot when you tried to act cute? Ok, you are forgiven and you owe me a favor. Don’t forget.”
Christine turned her back towards a deeply-disgusted Mark and started walking.

“Let’s go for lunch before we link up with our colleagues.”

-----------------------------------------------

The week of exhibition was tough yet fruitful. Mark learned a lot of information and technology skills from his counterparts.

Every night, both Christine and Mark had to work through midnight before calling it a day. The schedule was tight and challenging but somehow the hardship was smoothened by their sheer perseverance.

Other than the limited hours of sleep they had, the two of them shared almost every moment together. It was as if the two were living together separated by a bedroom.

When the two of them had ran out of creative juice, they would opt out to walk the streets of Shanghai to regenerate their thoughts.

Mark would accompany Christine as she swift the bouqtiues of designers’ label, trying out various clothes, bags and shoes.

Christine would accompany Mark as he seek his pleasures in finding sporting gear as well as technological devices.

As soon as something came up in their minds, they would stop everything and head for a café to work on it. Somehow it was like half vacation, half work. Their boss didn’t care for less, all he wanted was a good performance on the actual to show for.

Their big day came as both of them prepared for the showcase.
With the response from the crowd, they certainly did their company proud with their sleek presentations.

Their seeds of labor bore fruits as the company received countless of queries over their latest product. It was something Mark had thought he was not able to achieve in his life. Maybe he only achieve because of Christine’s support.

Their boss was delighted as he voiced his support over the teleconference after the show.

“Great job guys, make sure you enjoy yourself tonight before your flight tomorrow.”

On the last night before they returned. Their counterparts in Shanghai had arranged a celebration for exhibition success. They had booked a ballroom in their hotel and ordered a few tables of dishes.

Midway through the feast Christine excused herself for being tired and uncomfortable stomach. Mark then volunteered to send her back to her room before joining them.
As they walked out of the ballroom, Christine walked towards the exit instead of the lift back to her room.

“Where are you going?”
Mark was quite surprised in seeing this.

“I’m going out for a walk, want to join me?”
Christine looked back at him.

Both of them walked along the streets of Shanghai, it was close to midnight and the crowd was getting lesser and lesser.

They came to a small bridge.
Christine walked towards the bridge and looked at the waters below.

“Mark, do you know the feeling of loneliness?”
Christine asked.

“Loneliness is not because you are alone, it’s because you are missing someone.”
Mark too walked up and looked at the waters.

“You ever felt lonely?... after that incident of Jade?”

“I guess guilt was the first and biggest feeling I had since that day. Somehow I just keep telling myself that I’ve killed her. Now that you asked, I also don’t know whether I was lonely or not but I know I was missing something in my life.”

“It must have been terrible.”

“Yeah… It took me a long while before I got my act together again. In fact I was glad that someone helped me. Although I don’t know who is she.”

“Huh? I don’t get what you mean.”

“Just take it as I have a Love advisor with me now. She refused to reveal her identity to me until she said it’s ready. But all these while, I feel that she knows me very well and is able to know how I feel.. Right deep inside my heart.”

“It must have been great to have someone to advise you.”
Christine’s tone softened.

“Christine, what do you think about love?”
Mark suddenly asked.

“Love is something that hurt you the most. I thought I ever told you that already?”
Christine smiled as she replied.

“Love hurt you the most, yet it can also give you the most blessed feeling you ever had right? I guess it’s this extreme that make love so mysterious. One sided love is even more painful you know.”

“Why is it so? I mean only I know that I love him will do. Why should I say out? and then what? A relationship is born? Until the day he no longer loves me? Then the relationship died?”

“Chris, you have someone in your mind now right?”

“How do you know?”

“That night when you were drunk, you said why you can’t be with the person you liked.”

“Oh…”

“Have you ever told the person?”

“Nope..”

“Then how do you know if the person doesn’t like you?”

Christine didn’t reply. The cold air blew towards them as they stood.

“Mark?”

“Yeah….?”

“I… like you………”

“Huh? Pardon”

“I like you-r way of showing concerns for me. I appreciate that. As a friend and colleague, really.”

“Well… anything for you! You’ve helped me a lot too.”
Mark repaid the compliment.

“Let’s go back to the hotel?”
Christine suggested.

“Yeah, we have a morning flight to catch tomorrow. Let’s go back and have a good rest.”Both of them then made their way back to the hotel.

As Mark slept soundly in his bed, Christine was in the other room alone crying as she keyed into her laptop.

“These few days are probably the happiest in my life, we spend a lot of time together. There was a period of time when I actually felt that we were already a couple.

But when he asked me do I like anyone, I just couldn’t bring myself to say out.

What’s so difficult?

Why I don’t even have guts to tell him that I like him?

What was it that I was afraid of?

Afraid that I will not be able to replace her in his life?.”

It was a blog entry that she had entered. The blog was a daily journal that Christine had kept for a while now. Nobody knew about her blog, even her best friends didn’t knew of it’s existence. It was something personal and only those who don’t know her personally will have access to her blog. Maybe Christine didn't want people to know about her life.

As Christine paused to wipe her tears, there was a reply in her tagboard.

“Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall be given. Love begins with nothing but ends with everything”

Her sender…

Eros.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 18

Some people say that a relationship is a test between two persons of different backgrounds, different personality, different taste, different faith and belief.

You may have a few things that you shared the interest with your partner.
Both of you may like singing endlessly in the karaoke.Both of you may like spicy food.
That’s about all of it. She may like English songs while you like Mandarin. You may like spicy fish but she likes spicy vegetables.

At the end of the day, the differences between you and the one you love is often greater than you think.

How would you feel when he disagrees with you over a thing you liked?

How would you feel when she tells you that your hobbies are really childish and impractical?

Would you tell yourself that this person don’t love you?
Because he/she doesn’t know what you really like and appreciates the things that you loved?

When two people are different, it doesn’t mean one is right the other is wrong. It only means you are different.

I find joy in knowing the differences we had. I learned about the things in life which I may not have the chance to like.

I learned from her that shopping can really be enjoyable by trying out a lot of outfits and shoes. She learned from me that shopping can really be about strategy location, promotions and pricing.

When we are different, we learn to look from each other’s point of view and hence understand each other more.

It often takes someone who doesn’t really understand what you do to tell you how to improve.

Because all of us are really different from each other after all.



Mark didn’t dare to respond to Christine, he was afraid any questions that came out might cause a tsunami of emotions.

The two of them didn’t talk much.
The five hour flight was already long; it was longer considering there was no communication with anyone.

Christine fell asleep while Mark tried to keep himself occupied with the entertainment system onboard.

The flight reached Pudong International Airport in the wee hours of the morning.

As they checked into the hotel, Mark suggested.

“Hey, you take a rest first ok? I will give you a ring for breakfast later.”

Christine smiled.

“It’s ok; I’ll be at the lounge. I need some alcohol toxification.”

“Alright Chris, I’ll join you at the lounge after I take a bath.”

“It’s alright Mark; you no need to accompany me.”

“Says who? I’m the one who needs accompany... so you have to accompany me instead.”

Mark pointed at her.

-------------

When Mark reached the lounge, Christine was already there. The bottle of Scotch whisky was already a third empty.

“Wow.. I didn’t know you are such a good drinker.”

Mark looked at her as he made himself comfortable. He ordered a mug of beer.

“I don’t drink as often as you think.” Christine replied.


“You know Chris, if there’s something bothering you. You can tell me, other than work which I personally think you are much superb. The rest of the stuffs I give you a sound advice.”

Christine looked away from him.

“I was thinking about Brandon.”

“I knew it!” Mark thought as he planned what to sway next.

“Well, sometimes one’s first love might not last as long as we want to. But the values that we learned from it will surely make us understand more about love.”

Christine looked back at him.

“We never got started.”
Christine stretched herself.

“It’s been so long already, we were in the same secondary school. Brandon was not really a guy who girls will fall over. He was kind of nerdy, buried in his books everyday. Not many people talked to him anyway.”

“Wah… that means you are a nerd too huh?”
Mark studied Christine from head to toe.

“You don’t look like one now, thank goodness”

“Didn’t I tell you it was ages ago? In fact I was the school prefect, the class monitor and the head of school library committee, mind you”

Christine’s mood seems to liven up a bit.

“Then what happened?”

“What I used to like about Brandon was his pureness and honesty. He doesn’t know how to woo girls and then one day, out of nowhere. Brandon just came to me and tells me he liked me a lot. I was really caught by him as I didn’t know what to do.”

Mark nodded.


“But my parents were very strict then, I wasn’t allowed to have my own time. I can only go to school and be home before my parents returned from office. There was no way that I can have a relationship then.”

Christine stopped for a while.

“But I think he’s cute and secretly liked him too.”

“Well Chris, I understand how you feel. The pain you get when you can’t be with the one you loved.”

Mark said as he down his beer.

“I wonder it was the cruelty of fate that led us to meet again in University. I was studying in New South Wales then and we met on the streets in Sydney one day. He turned out to be very much as good looking as you met just now.”

“Then why didn’t the two of you get together?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s too long already. Maybe it was only puppy love then. Maybe I don’t know anything about love. We just didn’t hit it off that day as we walk our separate ways.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you believe me if I tell you I’ve never been in a relationship before?”

“……….tell you honestly, I won’t believe.”

“Why?”

“Because you look really good, I won’t believe if you tell me no guys had ever gone after you? Some of our customers were always caught indirectly checking you out.”

“Thanks for the compliment Mark, you’ve made my day.”

Christine lifted her glass and initiated a round of cheers.


“Chris, I think you really need a rest. We’ve got a long rest tomorrow.”

Mark could sense the effect of alcohol taking its effect on Christine.
He then helped her back in her room. As he laid her on her bed, Mark looked at the tipsy Christine.

It had been a while since he last looked at someone who’s asleep. The simple blessing which he enjoyed during the times he shared with Jade.

“Maybe the simplest yet most blessed feeling is to wake up and looked at the person you loved.”

Mark thought to himself as he covered her with the blanket.

“Don’t go…”
Mark felt his arm been grabbed.

“I don’t like the feeling of being alone in the night.”
Christine’s eyes were closed and looked as if she was mumbling.

Mark brushed her hair as he comforted her.

“Don’t worry, I will be here.”

“Don’t go… Don’t go………I don’t want to be alone. I hate been alone. Why can’t be with the one I liked? Why does it always have to be me.”
Christine grabbed Mark towards her as she wailed.

“Ok, I promise you...”
Mark kissed her forehead.

Christine stopped struggling and let go of him. She fell into a very deep sleep. Mark noticed there was a trace of tears flowed from the corner of her eyes.

Mark covered her blanket and went over to the couch.
He sat down and watched her sleep.

A smiled appeared on his face before he too closes his eyes and took a rest.

“I promise you... I will help you find the one whom you loved…”

[To be Cont]

Anntonii introducing a new writer for this blog.

Her penned name is Shan.

Her works revolved a lot in Korean drama series so names of characters and background setting may be in Korea. Guess people who liked Korean drama series will find her stories very much appealing to you. For those who know her, rest assure that I've obtained her permission and help to be in collaboration. I will scout for more writers who are willing to be involved in this blog.

If you know of anyone or yourself that is willing to share your works in my blog, do drop an email to me anntonii@hotmail.com.

You can view her story at

http://love-memo.blogspot.com/

Stay tune for more of her works to come.

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 17



You have known her for a long time. You know all about her, her ex-boyfriends and even the guy she’s currently dating.

You are her number one buddy, someone whom she would share everything with you. Her darkest secrets, her first kiss and all the moments that she cried you would be there for her.

Was it purely friendship? That made you came out of your house in the middle of the night just because she wanted someone to talk to after a tussle with her boyfriend.

How ironic, as it took you a long time to realize she’s actually the one you are looking for after all these years.

You waited and waited, until she is finally single.
You finally found the courage that was hiding deep inside you.
You tell her about your feelings one day.

She told you she is tired about having another relationship.
She thinks you are a nice person, someone who can take care of her.
Unfortunately you weren’t someone in the mold of her dream.

The long road is almost unbearable. The world never seems to stop turning, time never seems to take notice on someone who’s struggling through life.

Bearing each day with the hopes of being reached by the one you loved, the one you used to care for so much..

How you find life so meaningless and lonely now as you begin each day wondering how would it be if you had done the right thing?

The people who used to stand by you weren’t there anymore as you continue this journey to the undiscovered path of life. You fall easily, finding it hard to get up…for you are alone now…

As you slowly pick yourself up upon your feet, time never waits, passing every minute with uncertainty that you will end the same day without being tortured by fate. The self belief and his confidence are all gone now….

Finally you told yourself not to care for anyone else again, for you knows no matter how much you cared , no one will be there for you again…. as you head towards the infinite sadness of life…... Towards the path of infinite sadness and mental destruction of life

“Everything aren’t the same without the presence of you….”




Mark went back to office on Tuesday morning.
The journey to office was a lack lusted affair as he knew it would take a week more before he could see Jade again. Something inside him stopped him from sending a message to Jade.

Hopefully this time she will be back in her usual self.

“Yo bro, how was your extended weekend man!”
Shaun taunted Mark for an answer as he came to his desk.

“My weekend is the same as every weekend. No difference.”
Mark cut the small talk as his boss walked towards his table.

“Mark, come into my office at 1100.”
He ordered.

Shaun tilted his head to Mark and showed him the cut throat signal.

“What happened?”
Shaun whispered.

Mark just shook his head. He guess it was another round of complains about something went wrong.

Time seems to go very slow when you know you are heading for some form of punishment. Mark had to endure the anxiety for 2 hours before it arrived.

Mark knocked on the door and went in. He was quite surprise to see Christine inside too.

“Mark, take a seat.”

Mark sat as his heart sank, “What did I do wrong this time? Was it over the late submission of presentation?”

Then all his wildly thoughts shattered when his boss spoke.

“Mark, how long have you been in my team?”

“More than 2 years, Mr. Lee”

“What do you think of yourself, your contribution to the team?”

“I think there’s more things I can do, more areas which I can improve. There are some bad habits which I have to kick away.”

“Good… glad you know yourself well..”
His boss leaned back to his chair.

“Damn.. Don’t tell me he’s going to transfer me away?”
Mark felt a hunch about the things to come.

“There’s an exhibition going on in Shanghai this week. All our competitors and potential customers will be there. I want you to go with Christine. Both of you will be in charge for an on stage presentation of our latest range of products this weekend.”

Christine looked at Mark and smile.

“But Boss.. Why me?”

Mr. Lee was rather shocked by the question.

“Well… I managed to convince my boss to let us do the presentation rather than the Sales team. You can say it’s getting some limelight for the team if both of you done well.”

He paused.

“As for why were you selected, I would want to let you know that you know how to handle situations based on my past experience with you. No doubt there are areas which you need to improve, Christine will be the best mentor to guide this time round.”

“Thanks boss.”
Mark felt his acceptance.

“The two of you can take the rest of the day off, go home and pack up. The flight is tonight then you will link up with the rest of the folks who are already there. Please do a good job, any questions?”

“Boss, any rest and relax sessions after the trip?”
Mark looked at his boss eagerly.

Mr. Lee’s eye brown frowned.

“Boss, He’s only joking, right Mark?”
Christine’s lightning reflexes saved him as she dragged him out of the office.

“Hey Mark, I’m going to settle the air tickets and some paperwork”
Christine told Mark as they head back to their desk.

“Ok…”

“So where are you guys going for lunch?”

“I don’t know, it’s always decided by Shaun.”

“Ok then… see you tonight at the airport.”

Mark reached home after lunch.
After telling his mother about the trip, he then went on to pack up and had a rest.

After dinner, Mark switched on his computer for one last entry into his blog before the trip.

“Today I finally felt the appreciation from my boss as I’ve been assigned to go for a business trip. Hopefully I will not screw this up and thankfully Chris is going along. She’s always there when I screwed up.”

Mark posted his entry and began surfing the web for the places of interests in Shanghai.

Then he switched back to his blog to have a one last look right before switching off.

There was already a tag in his tagboard.

“You will gain more than you ever expected from this trip”

It was written by Psyche.

“What is she saying? Was it words of encouragement? Hmmm…. Never mind. I never seem to understand her as much as she understands me.”

Mark then switched off his computer.

------------------------

“Hey you are really early.”
Christine arrived at the airport.

“Yeah.. Guess I’m pretty much excited about the trip.”

“Hey… we are going for a business trip; don’t expect a tour or something. We have to conference with boss every morning and evening to report the status. I suppose we even have to work through the night for our presentation.”

Mark nodded.

“Ok..”

“Now, let’s check in”
Christine suggested.

Before they move, Christine felt someone calling her.

“Hey Chris, Christine Tan!”

She turned and saw a guy walking towards her direction.

“Brandon? Is it you? Oh my god! It’s really you.”
Christine walked towards the guy and hugged him as Mark looked on.

“Yeah it’s me alright.. So how’s life been for you?”

“Life’s great for me. Where are you heading?”
Christine joyfully replied.

“I’m heading back to Sydney. I just came here for a short trip to see my parents. I’ve got a job and house back there already.”

Then Brandon looked at Mark and smiled.

Mark awkwardly smiled back.

“Oh I see… Life sure is great for you… So where are you guys heading for your honeymoon?”
“Honeymoon? Give us a break man! This is my colleague Mark, we are on our way to Shanghai for a presentation.”
Christine quickly responded.

“Really? Gosh… both of you are really compatible. Sorry for being rude or something.”

Mark just smiled again as Christine hurried Brandon off.

“You better get going, I’ll give you a ring when I’m done ok?”

“Alright, bye dear.”

Brandon gave Christine a hug before he walked off.

The two of them then checked in and got on the plane.

“You sure have a funny friend.”
Mark tried to strike a conversation.

Christine didn’t respond as she looked at the window.

Mark felt the ambience wasn’t correct so he kept quiet throughout the take off. Christine wasn’t her usual self right after she saw Brandon.
It was only midway through the flight then Christine finally spoke.

“Brandon was my first love.”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书



Chapter 16


You’ve known him for a period of time. He’s a cheerful guy who never stops making you happy. You feel he’s going to be the right guy for you. You don’t want to let this chance slip away into the hands of other predators prowling.

You find one good day, arrange a good setup for a 4 coursed dinner.
Despite the rejection of your female buddies, you still decided to go for it.

Then when the moment comes, you expressed your thoughts to him.

He looked at you, smile and later laugh it out loud. He treats it like a big surprise that hits him hard and tries to ignore the fact that you had always liked him. He finds tons and tons of excuses to avoid the start of the topic that he knew it would be pointless.

You felt down, cried at times knowing that life was at your lowest at this point. You felt as if the world begins to turn their backs on you. You used to remember, he was the one whom you needed when you were in doubt, and he was the one who pull you up when you’re down. These images may not happen again.

Now you asked yourself “ Is there anything wrong in telling the person you like that you like him? “ why must it always happen to you… why can’t you be with the one you loved most.
The time is way past midnight, you find that sleeping isn’t that easy anymore, tossing and turning on your bed is getting frustrating. You try to get up, sit back and think of the past relationships you had.

Some were meaningful, some were tragic, but in all of them, you had always put your true feelings and treasure each and every moment. You try to work, hoping that you won’t think of him that often...

But then again, the more you don’t want to think of him, the more of his images appeared in front of your mind. You then took up drinking, trying every means and ways to immune yourself but every morning all you’ll get is hangover and make your life worse.
You finally asked yourself

“Is it worth it? To feel so miserable over him?”




Mark was rather surprised that Sharon had already chance upon his blog.

He returned the tag.

“Ironically, I won’t know whether I’m in love with someone until the day I lose her. When two persons are together, they see each other everyday, it then becomes a norm.

The relationship will roll become going out for shopping trips, catching the latest movie and to go for a getaway holiday.

Slowly it becomes a habit… to see her everyday.

But you won’t know if you are seriously in love with her or simply need her because of your habit… until she left you.

This is when you know you are in love.”

Sharon replied.

“I don’t know whether I’m in love now.”

“You will know it one day; hopefully the person is still there when you realized it.”

“Hopefully…”

------------------------------------

Mark spent the rest of his weekend at the hospital. He knew Jade would be alone if he didn’t. He continued to bring the soups for her and bought a few books to kill her boredom.

Jade did get better after a few days of rest but her words became lesser after that night. The conversations they had were merely a yes-no question and answer session over the weather and some current affairs heard over the news.

Jade would sometimes stare at the book without reading. Then her tears will flow. Mark could only wipe off the tears for her every time he sees this.

There was so much he wanted to tell her.
To ask her to stop thinking about the past that was already over.
To ask her to think in a more rational way.
So what if she had kept the baby? Will it do more harm than good?
Will the baby grow like normal children?

But every time Mark took a step back, the relationship between them was not as close as he thought.

The only thing he could do was to wipe away her tears and hope that one day it will stop flowing.

------------------------------------------

Jade was due for discharged on Monday afternoon after the doctors were satisfied that she was well enough.

Mark sent a sms to Christine to apply for urgent leave before he left his house to pick Jade.

“Are you ok? Need any help over anything?”
The reply came almost immediately.

Mark didn’t reply her as there was nothing she could do except to stop asking about why he had to take leave.

As Mark was dealing with the discharging paper works, one of the staff nurse approached Mark.

“Sir, we are all sorry over the incident for Ms Jade and the child. She needs you the most during this period. No doubt she will throw a lot tantrum but she needs all the attention you can give.”

Mark wanted to clear the misunderstanding; that he was not her husband after all. Somehow He decided not to, simply because it will only stir more unnecessary queries.

Some misunderstandings are better kept unexplained.

Jade was discharged on Monday afternoon and was given 5 days of medical rest.

Mark sent her home via a cab to Bukit Batok. Jade’s mother was very happy when she opened the door but her happiness was rather short-lived.

“Jade, what happen to you? Why do you look so pale? Something happened to you?”

Mark tried to cut into the conversation.

“Ehh.. Auntie, you don’t know. Though our conference lasted few days but we had to rush through the night to get our packages done. Jade already had two sleepless night already! Of course she will look pale!”

“Wah… nowadays company really make you worked like a dog.”
Jade’s mother helped carry her stuffs in.

Jade just walked into her room and close the door behind her.

Mark was left standing in the living room with Jade’s mother.

“Yeah Auntie but our company is not bad too. They give us a week’s off so we’ll only need to go back office next Monday”

“Ok.. That sounds better. Let me get you something to drink.”

Jade’s mother turned and walked her way to the kitchen.

The two of them had a small talk over Jade. Jade’s mother was more curious about Jade’s working environment and colleagues. Mark can only base on his accounting friend’s experiences on the good and bad sides of work place.

Then Mark asked Jade’s mother,

“Auntie, you know Jade’s boyfriend Don very well?”

Jade’s mother was not prepared for this question as she was quite taken aback. She paused for awhile before continuing.

“Don and Jade knew each other since primary school. Don used to live opposite block of us and he would go to school with her everyday. I don’t know whether it was fate or simply a joke from heavens that both of them had to go through the same primary, secondary and junior college together.”


“Jade was so in love in him that she waited for him to finish his National Service before enrolling for university together.”

“Wow Auntie… that really makes the script for a soap opera.”

Jade’s mother took a sip.

“Although my girl is very quiet and sometimes people complained about her lack of interest in enjoying life, Jade is a cheerful person every time she is with Don”

“They even planned for marriage two years from now. Then not long ago, Jade came home very late one night. I waited for her, her eyes were swollen. I knew something was wrong.”

Mark looked into his cup.

“You know, all mothers carry a special bond with their child. They can sense the happiness and sorrows that you carry in you. You know you are sick or not.

You are not in your mother’s womb for ten months for nothing you know. You ate what she ate, you drank what she drank.

However as her child grows up and face problems of their own, there are times when the mother can only watch. Because her child had display a “Do not bother me as I’ve already grown up” signal.

Boys will want their ego, girls will want their privacy. This is something that mothers have to live with. We can only pray that they will overcome their problems themselves.

I know my girl is very sad now. I suppose her relationship with Don is already over. I choose not to ask, I prefer to let her hug me and tell me one day.”

Mark’s eyes were reddened by this.

Their conversation halted when they heard the sound of door closed from Jade’s room.

Jade had been listening to them.


“Auntie, I guess I’ll be going. It’s late and I need to go home for dinner”

Mark reached home and found his mother cooking at the kitchen. He looked at her from afar. She had really aged over the years. The wrinkles surrounding her eyes had made her eyes looked smaller.

When was the last time he had a proper look at her?

“Ma, I’m home.”
Mark said.

Mark’s mother turned and smile.
“Ok, dinner will be served shortly.”

“Thanks Ma”
Mark went over to give his mother a hug.

“Thank what? The soup? Aiyah she’s your colleague mah.”

“Not only that, thanks for everything.”

Mark felt like a 10 year old boy for that minute that he hugged his mother. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, his sorrows that buried deep within him.

He hoped someone knew what he had gone through.

----------------------------

Mark took a walk in the park after dinner. He looked up the skies and found the Orion’s belt. The three stars were shining as always signifying eternity.

When he reached home, Mark went to his bed as he was really tired.
Physically and emotionally.

Before he fell asleep, his phone trembled.

There was an incoming sms.
The incoming number was an unfamiliar one.

“Don’t worry about me, I will be strong. I had told her everything and had a good crying session with her. If fate permits, we might just see each other again on MRT next week? Jade.”


[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 15



Everyone has a secret deep inside their heart.
It may be a one-sided affair you’ve developed you first know that person. That someone whom you liked the very first moment you saw him/her.

You began to look forward to see the one you secretly admire.
Is he happy today? Is she prettier than yesterday?

Then you asked yourself,
“When are you going to let the person know your feelings?”

You paused and hesitated because you don’t know how that person will react when you confess. You didn’t have the confidence that you will be loved as much.

Will it spur the end of a beautiful friendship?
That person might not talk to you again.
Something you cherish and meant a lot to you.

You secretly looked at the person again.
You decided not to let him/her know about your feelings.
You decide to keep in all within yourself.
Nobody other than you will know of this tiny secret.

You literally tore open your heart and dug deep, very deep.
To find a place deep inside your heart and keep this secret forever.
Safely locked till eternity.

Then you realized that person too have someone in mind.
You felt hurt when that person came for your advice because you were his/her best opposite sex friend.

You realized that the most hurtful in the world is to help that person you secretly loved to chase after someone he/she likes.

Every time you see the both of them together, you will feel as if the whole is currently crushing on you.

You even cried in the night, when you are all alone and there’s no one there to comfort you.


You tried to hide yourself from that person because you are afraid that one day you might just cry in front of him/her.

The saddest part comes when you finally learned that both of them are together. You have to act as if nothing happened as the both of them behaving sweetly in front of you.

All the tears dried, your heart broken and slowly healed.

And finally you tell yourself in the mist of pain and heartache,
“What will happen if you had confessed? Will the two of you be together?”

This is Love, Secretly and Sadly.





Mark returned to his home to take a shower.
Then he approached his mum.

“Ma, do you how to cook fish soup?”

His mother looked at him awkwardly.

“What happened? Why do you need to drink fish soup all the sudden?”

“Ohh… eh.. One of my colleagues just had an operation. So I was hoping can bring her some soup to strengthen her body.”

His mother’s eyes glow with excitement.

“Oh.. It’s a girl? Who’s she? How old is she? Where she lives?”

Mark stared at her.

“It’s not what you think it is, just cook for me can?”

“Ok.. Ok, so much for asking”
Mark’s mother took out some fish from the fridge and start preparing.

Mark took a shower and lay on his bed for awhile.
He only realized it was late afternoon when his mother knocked on his door.

“The soup is ready”

“Ok, thanks mum”

“How long is she staying in hospital?”
His mother was curious.

“I don’t know, I guess will be 3-4days”
Mark shrugged.

“Ok, then tomorrow I will cook chicken soup, then the next day will be lotus seed with ginseng.. Maybe bird nest is a good idea too”

Mark’s mother mumbled to herself as she went into the kitchen again.

Mark changed and made his way to the hospital.

-----------------------------------

When he reached the ward, he found Jade staring at the ceiling.

“If you concentrate harder, the ceiling might just be able to fall off”

Mark literally poked her as he put her stuffs on top of the small cabinet.

Jade turned to look at him.

“Oh… its you. So did my Mum say anything?”

“She said I’m handsome, whatever she said before and after that sentence I don’t quite remember already.”

Jade turned her attention back to the ceiling.

Mark took out the container from his bag.

“Can you drink some? It’s fish soup. Heard it’s very good for people who had just gone through an operation.”

Mark helped Jade up and passed a bowl to her.

Jade just stay expressionless as she held the bowl in her hands.

“Go on.. drink it.. if not will waste my effort”

“You cook this? Well I didn’t know there are guys who can cook. Then I got to try”

Jade began to take a sip.

Mark didn’t bother to explain, he took it as a case of ‘good’ miscommunication. What’s more important is that Jade is willing to drink the soup.

“Wow.. it’s really nice…Thanks… Oh.. Suddenly I feel so hungry.”

Jade finished her bowl of soup within minutes.

“There’s more, take your time”

Mark took her empty bowl and poured more soup.
After her dinner, Jade took a rest.

Mark just sat beside her, looking at her as she sleeps.
Suddenly the thought of his ex-girlfriend appeared out of nowhere.

Mark walked towards the window and looked at the night sky.

“It’s been so long already…”

Then he heard a voice behind him.

“You still here?”

Mark turned around.

“Yeah…”

“Can we go for a walk in the garden below? It’s been so long since I looked at the stars”

“If you think you are well enough to move”
Mark unfolded the wheel chair for her.

The night sky was clear but there were not many stars around to be seen. Maybe all the lights in the city make it difficult for stars to be seen here.


Jade pointed upwards.

“Mark, you heard of the Orion’s belt?”

Mark looked up.

“You mean the three stars that sit side by side? It’s one of the more visible stars in the night sky. I suppose it’s meant for navigation purpose.”

“Yeah… you know why the three stars are there?”

“I don’t know”

Jade looked at him and smiled.

“Let me tell you a story. Long Ago in the ancient times of Rome, there lives a very poor farmer by the name of Heron.

He worked night and day over the fields of grains to harvest food for his family. To him life was so miserable that he never thought he would love someone until the day when the boss came to collect his tax with his daughter, Zoenith.

It was a love at first sight, Heron knew she was the one for him.
Heron then tried so hard to impress his beloved.

He told Zoenith that he will climb up the highest mountain in Rome to catch a falling star in return for her love.

Zoenith did like Heron but due to the strong rejection from her father she could only avoid him.

When she knows he was going to the highest mountain she ran away from home to find him. She finally found him on the cliff of the highest mountain.

The Boss sent many men to search for Heron and wanted his head back for reward they look high and low for this young farmer and finally they reached the tip of the highest mountain.

As they approach, Zoenith begins to plead for their mercy to let Heron go but Heron stood still as he holds Zoenith's hand.

He spoke of real sincerity.

“Knowing you was a blessing but for you to be with me by my side is a miracle indeed let this day not be the day as we are parted but for this day tat we are united even if we were to go through hell together”

Heron tighten his grip of Zoenith's hand as they jump down the cliff together.

Venus then the Goddess of Love saw what happened to the wrecked couple. She understands that there was indeed true love between this young couples.

She then sent a shinning star to fetch them and bring them to the evening sky.

Then on in the nights of Rome, people will see 3 stars.. Heron, Zoenith and the middle star between them which symbolize their Love... “

Jade then paused a while. Then she continued with shivering voice.

“When either one of the stars stops glow the other two will simply die off. This is because their love is not tested by time but will last longer than time.....”

Jade then covered her face.

“Love can be so romantic and yet so dark sometimes. Some people will do anything for the ones they love.”

“Jade, Let’s go back, don’t think so much.. You have to be strong.”

Mark told her as he pushed her up to her ward before he returned home.

--------------------------------

Mark reached home and loosens up for a while before he went online.
He logged in to his blog and posted an entry.

“These two days I realized that Love can be extreme. It can be very romantic yet so hurting. When two persons love each other, they would do anything for each other but when the love died, so will their emotions and feelings.

When will I ever feel this love again?”

Someone left a tag in his tag board.

“When will you know you are in love?”

It was not Psyche this time,

It was Sharon.


[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 14

From the first crush you’ve developed, the feeling of liking someone becomes very intense. You grew up knowing that it’s always sweet to know there’s someone whom you look forward to everyday.

During secondary school was the age of love discovery as relationships might blossom for the very first time. That’s for those who are fortunate; the rest of us whom are less fortunate will find ourselves secretly liking someone.

What do we know about love at the age of 13?

We knew that when you love someone, you have to do everything for her/him.
If she likes shopping, you would have to love it too.
Then you would have the chance to at least go out with her.
If he likes to cycle, you would have to learn it too.
Then both of you can have the chance to cycle at east coast park.

We knew that we have to dress well as most of the girls have a very sense of fashion.
Color combination is vital when we go out. Pink don’t go with black and you don’t wear yellow & blue straps shirts. Once you go into the wrong book because of your dress sense, it would be very difficult for her to even notice you.

We knew in order for the girl to like you, we must also be accepted by her friends.
Her group of female friends whom she always hung out with.
You have to be nice to everyone she knew so that they will give her the thumbs up.

We knew that it’s always not easy to express ourselves.
We will try to be romantic, writing letters and buying flowers and teddy bears on her birthday. Never mind the little pocket money that remains throughout the month. Saying “I like you” is always not easy and might not always work.

Lastly, we knew that sometimes our guy friends will like her too. Then it’s the battle of guts & looks as the two of you takes on each other. The creativity and romantic book is thrown away as the better looking guy always gets the girl.
So think back about the times when you were young and now.
What were the differences between the meanings of love?

Our definitions of love will change when we grow older, when we gain more experience from relationships, when there are more sadness, when we learn to cry less.

This is Love.






Mark held her tight in his arms.
He didn’t know what to say to her.
He had questions he didn’t dare ask.

“It’s ok, Jade. Everything is fine now”
That was the only sentence that came out as he continued to hug her and pat on her back.

It took awhile before Jade recover from her shock.

“I’m….. Ok now…”
Jade whispered as she leaned on his shoulders.

Mark let go of her.
“I think I can remember how he looks like, let’s call the police”

“No…NO… Please don’t’”
Jade’s emotions came back again.

Mark couldn’t believe it, he knew something was wrong. He just not sure whether it’ was ethically correct to ask as he knew her not long enough.

“He’s your boyfriend?”

Jade shook her head.

“He’s my ex. We broke off a month ago.”

“Then why did he hurt you? I mean I don’t understand.”

“He came to ask me to abort the baby”

“What?~??!! You’re pregnant?”
“Yes.. It was only when we broke off that I realized I missed my mens, did a checkup only known I was pregnant…”

Mark helped her up.

“I don’t I should be asking this but why both of you broke up?”

“I caught him cheating on me. The woman was his colleague”
Jade stopped talking as she covered her mouth.
Tears were flowing.

“He used to love me a lot… We used to go beaches to watch the stars.”

Mark comforted her as he held her.

“Its over, don’t keep on walking in circles. Besides, what makes you want to keep the baby?”

Jade shook his hands off.

“Is this what you men only care about? Something that you’ve done in the moment of pleasure and choose not to live with it? The life inside me is innocent.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I say. I just being logical”

Just then Mark realized a stream of blood was flowing down from her blouse.

“What’s that?”

“Oh my god.. It’s blood..”

Mark quickly carried Jade to the road side to hail a cab. Jade started to develop pain in her lower adnominal area on the way to the hospital.
She clings onto Mark with agony and frustration.

“Am I going to lose the baby??”

Jade was put on immediate medical attention at the hospital. Mark can only stay outside the operation theater. Even though there wasn’t going to be any life threatening operations. Waiting outside the theater will get anyone nervous and panicky.

The doctor came out first before the nurse and porter pushed her bed out.

“Sir.. I’m sorry.. But I couldn’t save your child. We had to abort to save the adult. Your wife is very weak now as she lost a lot of blood, we’ll have to ward her for a few days to monitor her health. Please take care of her.”

“I understand..”

The doctor pat on Mark’s back before he left.

Jade was conscience but looked very pale as she continued to cry as she was moved to her ward.
Mark followed her bed.

Jade was transferred to a personal ward. She cuddled to her pillow when the nurses helped her to her bed.

Mark just sits on the chair beside her bed.
There was nothing he could say to make her feel better.
He can only wait for her to calm down.

“You have my belongings with you?”

“Yeah.. It’s with me”

“Can pass me my hand phone?”

“Ok.. Here you go” Mark took her phone out of the bag.

Jade dialed some numbers.

“Hello… Mum?”
Jade tried her best to sound normal despite the operation she had just did.

“Yeah it’s me… Jade”

“I’ll be staying over at colleague’s place tonight, we need to rush for our financial closure. The company is sending us to Taiwan for a few days, my colleague will drop by tomorrow to collect my luggage and passport ok?”

“Ok.. I will..”
Jade hang up the phone.

Then she picked her phone up to key in a sms.
After sending, Jade threw her hand phone towards the wall before covering herself with the blanket.

Mark picked up the phone and saw the message.

“The baby is gone, there’s nothing left between us anymore. I hope you are happy because I’m worse than hell.”

Mark knew she was crying again as he put back her phone near her bed. He didn’t went home that night, he just sat beside her incase she needed someone.

Tiredness won him over and soon he was sound asleep on the couch.

It was morning when he woke up. There was a blanket covering him.
Jade was staring at the ceiling as she laid there motionless.

“Hey… Good morning…”
Mark tried to start a conversation.

Jade turned to him.

“Don’t worry… I’m fine now. Don’t sleep without a blanket in future. Your bones will be weaken by the cold”

“Mark, can you do me a favor?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this. I need you to help me pack some clothes and bring my passport out for me?”

Mark nodded.

Jade jot down her address on a piece of paper and pass to Mark.
She lived in Bukit Batok which explains why everyday he sees her.
But Mark could not explain why she preferred to take this route as it’s longer compared to travel from Jurong.

Nevertheless, Mark return to his house before making a move to hers.

A lady opened the door.

“Hi Auntie, I’m Jade’s colleague. I’m here to collect her luggage”
Mark pretended to be cheerful even though he was emotionally sunk in too by this incident.

“Oh.. she called me yesterday. Wah.. I didn’t know Jade got such handsome colleague.. So you single or not?”

Mark just smiled as he entered her flat.

“At least you are better than that Don.”

Jade’s Mum showed him her room.

The design of her room was pretty simple. Definitely not those girly types of room filled with soft toys and huggable stuffs.
Jade’s room was filled with books though. There was a huge shelve filled with books that she had read.

As Mark roams her room, there were a few pictures hanging.
It showed her and another guy hugging looking very happy in the pictures.

One of the scenery attracted Mark’s attention as he had been there too. Then he got a shock when he studied the photo, the photo which Jade took with her boyfriend had Mark and his girlfriend in it too. Mark and his girlfriend’s side view were on the extremely right side of the picture.

Mark just laughed at his discovery. Fate has it that the four of them were actually at the same place at the same time.

Jade’s mum enters the room.

“I’ve packed her stuffs for her. It’s for 4 days right?”

“Yeah.. It shouldn’t be long”

“Ok, by the way. Her passport is at her drawer.”

“Thanks Auntie”
Mark reached for the drawer and found her passport.

There was a black and white photo in the drawer too.
It looked as the setting was in the train.

Mark picked up the photo.


It was him…

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 13

Do you still remember the first crush you ever had in your life?
The first time of experiencing mixed emotions, the anxiety and excitement when you saw that person. When that person is happy, you would smile along.

When that person is sad, you would not know what to do to cheer up.
Who was he/she?

Your neighbor? Your childhood playmate? Your classmate?

I believe most of us, if not all us will experience our first crush in our life. We won't realize it until we were much older.
When we finally find a reason to explain why we sometimes blushed out of no reason.

My first crush happened at the age of 10.
She was one of the taller girls in class.

I being the fattest and biggest sized will always partner her during our class.
We would sit side by side during lesson.

We would hold hands when the class is gathered to go to other areas.

We would exchange stationeries and cards. I knew she like pencils a lot so I would give her those extras that I purposely bought.

She would really think that I had extras. It was not something that she could not afford but would not spend her pocket money on.

I like her smile and happiness when she receives my small gifts. We even acted in a play together, being husband and wife at the last year of primary school.

Years passed, we went to the same secondary school and stay in the same class for 2 years before finally separated.

She got prettier as she grew up and had her fair share of male seekers.

As for me, I've never really told her I liked her before. Maybe it's because of this that we've stayed as good friends. Maybe it's because of this that she would still smile at me when she sees me.

And we will always have so much to talk about except my feelings for her.

Mark didn’t have a good sleep that night.

He was tossing and turning over the comments he saw in Sharon’s blog.

No doubt Sharon later explained in her later entries that it was only a joke. She had posted to see if anyone is really concern about her. She certainly has got what she want as there were more than 30 over comments showing concern.

What if it’s not a joke?

What if she really has the intention of killing herself?

What if she killed herself next time?

What can he do to help her?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was as usual for Mark as he traveled to his office.

As he enters the train, there was no sight of Jade around.

She must have taken leave I suppose”

Mark thought to himself as he sulked all the way to work.

Just as he reached the ground level, someone tapped his shoulder.

It was Christine.

“Hey.. What’s the matter with you? I called you a few times”

“Really?”

“Yeah.. Is something bothering you?”

Christine looked serious.

"Nah it’s just some small thoughts lingering in my head, I will be fine”

Mark replied as they stepped into the lift.

"Oh yeah.. You better be, Boss is very anxious about the presentation later..”

"Presentation?” Mark covered his mouth.

"YEAH? Don’t tell me you didn’t finished the proposal package?”

Christine stared at Mark.

"Shit!! I haven’t”

"Quick, there’s still time. Let’s quickly get it done.”

Christine pulled Mark out of the lift when it reached.

Shaun was again shell shock when he saw Christine pulling Mark in.

"OH my God… Oh my God…” Shaun held his hands to his head.

"Stupid Idiot. Don’t think too much. Want to think, think after the presentation.” Christine quickly went to her desk.

The three of them sped through the morning trying to get the proposal package ready for customer presentation at 11.00am.

Mark’s boss wasn’t very please when he knew it was not ready for his review.

However, Mark managed to finish the proposal package with Christine’s guidance and Shaun’s help in the nick of time.

Mark went in and gave a good presentation to the visiting customers and they applauded him warmly when he finished.

Even Mark boss was surprised with the proposal and couldn’t help but brought out a thumbs-up sign to him.

Christine was standing by his side as Mark winked at her.

Christine was at the pantry when Mark came in.

"Hey thanks.. You’ve help me again” Christine looked at him.

“No worries, Colleagues must help each other mah.. Besides I won’t know when I will need your help.”

“Can I buy you dinner?” Mark suddenly suggested.

“Why?” Christine was rather shocked by the suggestion.

“Because I don’t really like to owe people favors you know”

“Because you are egoistic?” Christine smiled.

“Yeah.. Yeah Whatever.. See you later” Mark walked out of the pantry.

“See you later..” Christine replied softly.

It was Friday evening as the clock continued to tick. .. It was a day of life reborn. When the time hit 6.00pm sharp, all the office staffs in the company had already packed their bags and roaring to go.

“Bro.. you not going off?” Shaun made his way out.

“Nah.. you go ahead.. I got to touch up this proposal and send to boss”

“Ok.. but make sure you don’t end up like our Super-woman there” Shaun pointing to Christine who was still engross in her work.

“Yeah.. you take care man.. enjoy your weekend.”

“You too…” Shaun replied as he left.

Mark stretched himself and checked around. All the staffs had left.

Then he walked over to Christine’s desk.

“So where do you want to go for dinner?”

Christine stopped her work and looked up. “Oh.. it’s still on?”

“Why not?”

“Ok.. Where do you want to go?” Christine started packing.

“Let’s go to East Coast?”

“Wow.. I didn’t know you were such romantic…” Christine cheekily made fun of him.

“No lah… East Coast is Cheaper.. It’s nearing month end.. ” The smile on Christine’s face was gone within seconds.

They hitch a cab and reached East Coast for dinner.

After dinner, Christine decided to go for a walk.

“Arhh… the sea breeze.. You know how long I hadn’t feel the breeze already?”

“You only know about work…”

“Thanks for the dinner anyway, it was really great.”

“It’s still early, you want to go for a drink?” Mark suggested.

“Nah.. I’ve got to go back office tomorrow..”

“But it’s a Saturday!! Get a life!”

“It’s really important…” Christine shrugged her shoulders.

“Then let me send you home?”

“Ok…” The both of them took the bus before changing to train as Christine lived Sengkang.

“You have a good night sleep ok?”

Mark tried to encourage her.

“It’s a wonderful night Mark, thanks” Christine said before the lift door closes.

As Mark walked out of the neighborhood, he heard someone screaming and crying from afar. It sounded like a woman. He took a step closer to find out where the cries were coming from.

“Stop treating me like this!!!” The women cried.

“Shut up bitch, You’ll do as what I say” The man slapped and kicked her.

“Ooi! What are you doing? Police” Mark shouted as he ran forward.

The man ran away in fright.

“Miss.. Miss… are you ok?” Mark tried to hold her up.

She was still covering her head and crying in fright.

“It’s ok now..” Mark held her hands…

The women was still shivering when Mark slowly moving her hands down. Mark looked at the women…

He too got a fright.

She was Jade…

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 12


“I love you dear”

Your lover brushes your hair as he/she tried to kiss you.
You asked out of curiosity because it’s the 19,784th times he/she had told you since the relationship starts.

“What do you love me for?”
Most people I know are physically attracted to the female species that they ‘hunt’ It could be their eyes, their smiles and naturally their bodies.

When a man decides that he like that someone, the first attraction would be to satisfy his sense of chauvinist ego.

The girlfriend must be able to bring the better side of him.
The girlfriend must know his likes and his hate.
The girlfriend must know all his friends and be sporting enough in front of them. Never show any temper or unpleasantness.
The girlfriend must also let him spend time with his buddies without knowing his whereabouts.

When a girl decides that she like that someone, the first attraction or maybe only attraction would be the guy would love her unconditionally.

Unconditionally means the guy must give in to her in all situations.
Unconditionally means the guy must pamper her, surprise her, call her every now and then, miss her, sings her birthday songs on her birthday, being romantic and funny.
The guy must also have a mega memory system to store in the exact time and location of 1st date, 1st time hold hands and 1st time kiss.

We know we can’t fulfill everything on the list. Anyone who could ought to be shot because he/she is practically showing to the world that it can be done.

At the end of the day, I love you because you are you.
Because you are trying your best to fulfill the above requirements.
And I know you are trying very hard…




The ambience at the chalet was romantic as the sound of singing could be heard from within.

“Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to Mark Lee! ~ Happy birthday to you!!”
The song ended with a peck on his cheek.

“Happy birthday 23rd birthday dear! Quick, blow the candles and make a wish”
Jade pestered as Mark tried to finish off 23 candles at one go.

“Thanks Dear” Mark replied the kiss.

“So what wish did you make?”

“Am I supposed to tell you? Anyway my three year wish is half complete already”
Jade looked at him confused.

“I wished you were my girlfriend for my 21st birthday, it came true last year. Then I wished you will stay as my girlfriend on my 22nd birthday and you did despite the quarrels and arguments we had.”

“So you still wish I’m your girlfriend next year?” Jade making her guess.

“Don’t wanna tell you!” Mark displayed his resilient.

“Ok loh…” Jade grabbed a portion of the cake and smear it on his face.
Mark returned the favor and the cake was pretty much wasted and uneatable after the couple’s tussle.

The two of them lie on the bed after the washed up.

“Dear…” Jade asked.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you like me?”

“Because you have an angelic face with a devilish body that any guys will die to go with?”
There was a grin on Mark’s face.

“Is that what all guys want?”

“Nope… but it sure is nice to have!”

“No tell me honestly…” Jade sounded serious this time.

“Ok… I like you because you looked demure most of the time yet when it comes to enjoying you are bubbly fun, loving. You are always here for me. You understand me and mature enough to forsake my childishness some times.”

“I’m really glad to have known you”
Mark added as he brushed her hair.

“Is this what you like in women? So if one day another girl with the same attributes as you mention, will you fall for her?”

“I guess not...”

“Why?”

“Because I have you. You are irreplaceable.”

“Dear, I’m glad to have to known you too”
Their eyes exchange contact followed by a passionate long kiss.
The moon was covered by the clouds as much as their innocent youth.
His 23rd birthday wish had come true... within an hour.


“Sir… Sir” Sharon looked at Mark.

“Mark?”

“Yeah… Yeah”
Mark returned from his ‘time travel’ from his memory.

“We are closing already” Sharon smiled at him and left to clear other tables.
It was half past nine on his watch.

Mark quickly packed his laptop when he realized that he was the only customer left in the café.

“Mark?”
Sharon called out to him before he left.

“Yes Sharon?”

“Is there anything wrong? I saw you in a daze just now”

“It’s ok, nothing really. I can manage”

“Ok… feel free to drop by if you need someone to talk”

“Nah... it will affect your job”

“It’s ok; my boss normally goes off at dinner time and only return about now to close the accounts”

“Thanks, you really make my day”
Mark replied before he left.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was close to eleven when Mark finally reached home and had a shower.
As he sat down on his computer table.

His thoughts were still on the question asked by Psyche.

“What sort of women do you really like?”

Finally he replied to the tag board.

“The girl whom I liked was someone demure yet lively when it comes to having fun. She was mature and understanding to love and care for me.”

“I suppose that’s what Jade used to be”
The reply came within minutes.

Before Mark could react, another tag came along.
“Do you think you can find another person like Jade?”

“Nope I can’t because she is irreplaceable”

“Irreplaceable or are you afraid to commit to another relationship?”
Finally, someone knew how he felt all along.

“Psyche, who are you? Why are you doing this to me? Every question you ask will stir great emotions in me. I’m trying to let go of the past yet every time you have to rack it all up again”

“You are not letting go, you are only hiding from the past.”
Psyche replied.

“Do I know you? Do you even exist? Can we meet up?”

Mark was more than eager to know the identity of Psyche. Somehow he felt that Psyche is related to him in a way. A way he could not explain. It was as if Psyche had see through his heart, his mind and everything of him.

"The moment is not right for us to meet now, we will finally meet one day. Its only a matter of when"
Came the reply.

Mark waited awhile before he realized it was her last entry again.

He then got up and stretched himself before decided to head for bed.
Something on the floor caught his eye.

It was the serviette which Sharon had pass to him.
The thought of her brought out a smile in him as he decided to visit her blog.

It was a nicely decorated blog with pink floral designed skin.
There were a lot of entries, photos, songs and video displayed.

As Mark scrolled down the blog, he sped through the entries.
Most of them were talking about the gossips revolving her colleagues and friends.
Then he found an unusual entry.

“Today he did it again. I never know why he had to do it. Why must he treat me like this? Have I done anything wrong in the past to deserve all these? I hate myself because I do not have the courage to face him. I do not even have the courage to face myself. The bottle of sleeping pills… when will I ever have the courage to finish it up?”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 11


The two of you were walking back as he pestered to send you home after the movie date. The night was silent and clear.
As he clears his throat, he asked,
“Can you be my girl? ”
“Can I hold your hand every time we go out?”

Do you still remember how you were asked to be someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend?

Whatever how the question was pop out.
Wherever the location it was.
It could be over the phone, it could be by the beach.
It could also be in school.

You will remember, no matter where, when and how,

The day you were asked to go into a relationship.

You will be surprised the moment you were asked, even though you already knew you would be someday.
You just didn’t know when.

It was now.
You had the choice. You made the choice.

The decision gave birth to a new relationship, registered under the laws of yours. You have given half of your life to the person whom you feel loves you the most.

You demand attention; day in day out because you feel you deserved it. You expect to be treated like a king/queen, as all your desires must be fulfilled within his/her abilities. You demand that he spend all his time with you rather than his/her group pathetic friends.

Until, he/she stopped giving you attention all together.
Then you questioned his/her love for you.

“If you love me, you should do this for me”
He/She would probably have a question in their minds too.

“If you love me, would you do this me?”







“I beg your pardon?”
Jade sounded confused as she pushed up her specs.

“Oh… I just ask you what’s your view on ‘Love’, you know like “what is love to you?””
Mark tried to salvage the situation.
He knew he almost blew it, how can he ask someone whom he barely know this question?

“Oh... that kind of question..”
Jade sounded relieved too.

“I couldn’t remember when was the last time I was in love. All I know is love is something that can bring your emotions to the extreme. You can be the happiest woman on one minute yet the saddest person the next. I really don’t know about love”

Jade then tried to look away from Mark.
But Mark already saw the redden eye before she tried to hide.

“Oh well... Life sucks huh?”
Mark tried to steer the ship back in navigation before it crashes.

“Yeah… it really sucks... If only I had more courage.”

“More courage for??”

“Nothing...”
Jade still looked away.

“Next Stop Raffles Place Interchange”
Came the announcement.

“It’s my stop, I ought to be going”

“Ok. Me too”

Jade walked ahead of Mark and soon mixed into the out going crowd.
Mark was walking slowly behind.

He boarded a cab and travel back to his office.

Then he realized.
“Shit! Why didn’t I ask for her number?!”

It was about 10.30 when Mark finally reached office.

“Bro! You are the luckiest bastard in the universe!”
Shaun greeted Mark as he sit down.

“How come? Did I win anything?”

“Boss is sick… so nobody knows you were late!”

Christine walked over and gathered the two of them.

“Hey, boss is sick but there’s a few report we need to rush for him. He needs it when he’s back”

“I seriously wonder, are we busier when boss is around or when he’s not?”
Shaun sarcastically whined.

Christine frowned as she passed two stacks of files each to Shaun and Mark.

As she laid the files on Mark’s desk, there was a memo pad stick on top of the files.

“Are you ok? Chris”

Mark looked at Chris before she left.
She looked back.

Mark gave her the thumbs up and quick winked.
Christine smiled back and left.

“Man.. I really can’t stand her at times”
Shaun started backstabbing sessions.

“Well.. if you put the energy you used to whine into kinetic energy in doing work.. you will definitely achieve more!”

“Bro, since when you become so sarcastic?”

“Since the day I learn from the Master himself!”

The rest of the day was raining and everyone had their fair share of workload, even though the efficiency was only 50%.

“Where are you heading?”
Shaun asked as he finished packing up at the dot of six.

“Home? I suppose”
Mark continued to pack up as Shaun walked past him.

“Spoilsport.. Spoilsport… ”
Shaun uttered as he left the office.

The rain finally stopped when Mark step out of the office.
Feeling hungry, he opts to go to the café to grab a quick bite before going home.

His entrance was greeted by the smile of the oncoming waitress.

“Hello Sir, Welcome back”

Mark looked at her badge. It spelled Sharon.
Then he remembered she was the one who served him the other day.

Mark ordered some sandwiches and coffee for dinner.

While waiting to be served, Mark took out his laptop and carry on doing his report. Instead of doing his report, Mark was entering his blog entry.

“Today is a strange day. I met this lady onboard the train again. It was almost the sixth hundred times that I saw her since the first day. However it was only the second time we’ve ever communicate. Her name is Jade. She carries the same name as my ex-girlfriend. Is this what people call fate? Destiny? Would she replace her one-day?

Although no one is there to tell me, I wish I know the answer.
What is right? What is wrong?”

Mark stopped typing and shifted his laptop when Sharon served him the drinks.

“Sir, you blogged too?”

“Yeah… Am I too old for that?” Mark tried to hide his embarrassment.
“Nonsense, there’s no age limit for anything. It’s great to have an online journal you know. A place where you can write the darkest things.”

“So Sharon… you blog too?”

“Yup! All my friends blog too. It’s like our form of communications nowadays. Maybe it’s a sign of telling others we are still alive when we post our daily events on cyberspace.”

“Sir, Do you mind giving me your blog address?”
Sharon asked.

“Don’t call me Sir, it makes me feel old you know. I’m Mark.. incase you’ve forgotten.”

“I’ve not forgotten lah! Just being nice mah”
The bubbly girl couldn’t hide her cheerfulness.

As he wrote down his blog address on a piece of serviette, Mark gave a bright smile. It was something that Mark missed a long time.
The innocence youthfulness he once had.

“Here you go”
Mark handed over the piece of serviette.

“Hee.hee.. here’s my blog.”
Sharon quickly wrote on another serviette before she literally jumped to the next table to clear up.

“http://smiles-a-million.blogspot.com”

“Such a cheerful person”

Mark finished up his sandwich and shifted his laptop back to his view.
Before his fingers could type onto the address bar, Mark stopped as he realized that there was a tag on his tagboard again.

“What sort of women do you really like?”

Signed, Psyche.

[To be Cont]