Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 6


Sometimes you wonder, if life has an expiry date?
Does love has as well?

Will you wake up one day and realized that you no longer loved the one who is sleeping beside you?

Or you suddenly realized that the person who’s currently holding your hand is not the one whom you loved most?

It really depends on you.
Every organs in our body will spoil one day if we do not maintain it. Every relationship will part its way if they never maintain it.
Life & Love deteriorates through time.

I believe there’s an expiry date in everything for if there’s a beginning, there will be an end.

What matter most is the times that were spent among this period.
Love will expired one day but memories will not.
Hopefully it is this that keeps us going on till the day when we are all expired.
I can only sercertly hoped that my life will end first before my love.



Mark stared at the librarian.
“What do you mean by that statement?”

The librarian replied rather surprised.
“Nobody else has borrowed the book, any problem?”

“Eh.. Nothing then”

Mark walked towards the couch and sat down in daze.
“What could have happened?”Then he looked towards the rows of table that was opposite.
There were a group of students doing projects as reference books flooded across the table.


“Oh.. I get it.. He must have done that”

Mark thought as he realized how the person managed to write the wordings without borrowing the book.

It’s rather simple, as he didn’t borrow it.
He only wrote on it.
This ‘Yang’ person Mark was curious to find out.

Mark didn’t have any plans as he returned the book.

“Will he come back for this book?”
Mark wondered.

It took quite a while before the librarian placed the book back to its original location.

Mark waited.

No one came to the book.

After a while, he found it rather pointless, as there was no basis that he can approach anyone who touches the book to be ‘Yang’.

Mark then went for dinner before heading home.

After the showers, Mark sat down and looked at his computer.
His blog was rather pathetic as there wasn’t any reader.
The only person who ever tagged was Psyche.

Mark then went on to log in a post.

“Its rather strange lately, I have experience things that I’ve not seen in my life. Exciting it seems but everything seems to come back haunting. I know it was my fault and I know she’s not there to forgive me anymore.
Sometimes I wished to held her hands once more but I know I can’t anymore.
It’s a fact, she died in my arms.
I knew the waves were strong but insist on going scuba diving.
Jade was never a strong swimmer and yet she accompanied me because she didn’t want me to dive alone.”

Mark couldn’t type anymore as his emotions took over.
He posted the entry and went for a smoke near the window.

Everywhere was quiet below his house except his heart was pounding strongly as he recalled the incident.

The strong current that came without notice washed Jade away.
Mark just watched as she struggled for oxygen.

He swam as fast as he could but the currents that came after kept forcing him away each time he got nearer.

After a while, Jade didn’t move.

Mark feared the worst as he continued to swim towards her.

“Jade!! Hang on!!”

Mark finally got to her and dragged her onto shore.
Jade didn’t response to the Cardiopulmonary resuscitation that came without stop.

Mark didn’t give up even though there was no pulse and breath for more than five minutes.
He just continued to rescue her even when the paramedics had arrived.

Jade was gone just like that.

“You killed Jade!! You murder!! I’ll never forgive you!! You killed my only daughter”

Jade’s mother came for bloodshed as her husband tried to restrain her when they were there to claim her body.

Jade’s parents didn’t allow him to attend her wake.
Mark can only sneak in during the night when her parents went to rest.

Mark put her favorite necklace and earrings on her as he dressed her for the very last time.
He cried when he laid the roses on her and he kissed her.
He will never forgive himself.
Someone who killed his love.
Her parents were right, he was a murder.

Mark thought he could lead a normal life bearing the workload that came each day.
He took up every project there is available to make sure he was really working his brains.

Not because of money as there was no point of having so much.

As Mark puffed his last breath of smoke out of the window, he sat down and looked at his blog.

He stared at the tag board before entering.

““If you love someone, you must learn to let go.If your love is felt, she will return one day.”

And he waited and Mark was surprised that Psyche replied immediately this time.

“So have you let go of Jade?”
Came the reply.

“No.. I haven’t and how do you know Jade?”

“You type in earlier right?”
Psyche replied.

“Who are you? Do I know you?”
Mark was really eager to find out.

“I’m Psyche”

“Do I know you?”

“No.. but I know you”

“How do you know me when I don’t know you?”

“I know everything about you.”

Mark felt a bit of cold wind swept across him.
Before Mark could type another question.

“It wasn’t your fault that day. Don’t blame yourself too much, what happened was not anyone’s fault. You can go on to blame yourself for your whole life or carry on living.”

Mark was lost for words as he could only asked.
“What do you mean that day?”

There was no reply.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 5

There was once a man who had a nightingale that could draw envy of everyone that heard it’s singing.

The man was very proud of his asset and vow to treat the bird with the finest food and best of living.

The one day, one of his sons asked.
“Father, do you think the bird love you?”

“Why not? I give it the best of the available there is. Its food and its living in the finest of cage to rest”

The son was puzzled.
“Father, if you love the bird so much why do you lock it inside a cage?”

The man had no answer.
He was afraid that the bird would fly away and never return.

“If the bird loves you, it will never fly away from you”
The boy continued.

The man looked at his son and did what he was told to.
He slowly released the cage and set the bird free.

The nightingale flew up upon the sky and circle around the man.
The man then tried to whistle and signal the bird to return.

However the bird did not comply.
It flew higher and further away from the man never once turn it’s head to look back.

The man was devastated.

Days passed, weeks went by.
There was no sign of the bird.
Every day the man would look up in the sky in vain hoping that the bird will return one day.

The man had given up all hopes of finding the bird.
Finally he realized that love is something that cannot be forced.
As the man slowly walked into his house, he heard the nicest chirping sound that ever produced.
It sounded like a beautiful ballad being played in the open.

He looked up and saw two nightingales flying towards his house.
It looked the same one that he had let go.

The nightingale had found itself a love mate and brought it with her back to the old man’s house. It was chirping merrily along with the male nightingale as they landed on the old man’s hands.

“If you love someone very much then will you let go of her?”

Cold sweat felt through Mark’s hand as he moved to the keyboard to type.

“Are you Jade?”

Mark knew it was impossible.
Jade had gone for such a long time.

There was no reply.

Again he waited, until the group was back from lunch.

“What happened to you man?”
Shaun looked at the pale Mark.

“You looked as if you’ve saw a ghost”

“Worse…”
Mark was trembling as he told Shaun about the ‘Pschye’ that replied his blog and the dream that he dreamt last night.

“Wow… that’s pretty exciting you know!”
Shaun exclaimed.

“I guess it’s just a coincidence because there’s no prove that implies these two events are directly related.”

Mark didn’t reply as Shaun went to fetch him a cup of warm water.

“Why don’t you take half a day’s rest? I’ll go tell boss on your behalf”
Shaun patted his back as he made his move into the boss’s office.
Mark slowly packed his briefcase and left the office.
He was still unable to recover from the events that had happened.

Was it really a coincidence?

Mark didn’t know for sure.

He had hoped it wasn’t.
He missed Jade very much.
It felt as if it was only yesterday when he last felt her hands.
But deep down he knew it was impossible.
He was the one who dress her up on her deathbed.
He was the one who put the roses in her cold hands.
He was the one who didn’t listen to her advice.
He was the one who caused her death.

Mark walked into a café nearby his office.
He just wanted a place to sit down and reorganized his thoughts.
As he tried to reach for his wallet in his briefcase to pay for his coffee, Mark felt something else inside.

It was the storybook that he borrowed yesterday.

“The book of life at 15”

Mark found a couch at the far corner of the café and began reading the book.

It was on her twelfth birthday when she was married to another family as part of daughter-in-law / servant deal.
Her mother-in-law was a wicked lady whose seventh year old son was a mentally handicapped.
The girl had to wake up in the wee hours to fetch water from the well that was several kilometers away.
She had to be back before five in order to prepare breakfast for the family.
There was once she was late due to the rain had caused a landslide somewhere near the well. She had to go further to fetch the water. However, she came back late and was severely beaten by her mother-in-law.

Mark took a yawn as he flips through the next page.
He then saw the same hand written quote somewhere below.

“If you love someone, you must learn to let go.
If your love is felt, she will return one day.”

Mark jumped up from his couch in surprised.

Mark was no longer interested in the story.
He then quickly flipped through all the pages to search for more hand written quotes.

Mark found the quotes.

“I know it’s my fault but I must go on, I must live for you”

The he eagerly flipped through again.

“I missed you very much, somehow I know you must be miserable alone”

Finally Mark came to the last page of the storybook.

It was supposed to be a blank page but there were paragraphs hand written on the page.

Mark began reading.

“Ying ,

“The same smile will always be there along with the rosy cheek that blushes each time happiness is felt within you. The eyes of innocent youth will look forever the same..”

Some things haven’t change isn’t it? I wish so much everyday that I could see you once more, not only in dreams but in reality.

I want to feel you so much but I guess it seems impossible now. The days that you’ve gone has come to a hundred and it seems like only yesterday we were having those little strolls along the park behind our house.

Sometimes I want to tell you how much I love you, how much I’m willing to do for you, how much I would rather give half my life to God in exchange for your presence.

But I guess all this ain’t gonna be true once more. You had left me to walk with God in heaven. The little angels send me a dream of you last night. It was about how we first met. Of course, I would not forget about it .. but yesterday was like history relived.

Knowing you was a blessing but having you by my side was a miracle indeed. Somehow I never thought I was of your standards.
You were like the angel with the most beautiful wings spread open whereas I was only a lowly being who look so inhumanly from young.
That’s why I’ve always treasure your attention so much.

Time… I think is a very strange thing. When you’re with someone you love. It always seems so short… but when you’re missing someone… time always seems so long.

One of the happiest moments in my life would be our first date.
Those days of being young are coming back to me once more. You looked great with the red dress with floral design all over.

I never think cosmetics make us a better person, especially you. For you had the rosiest cheeks without the enhancement of artificial product.

Remembering back the date.. when we said walking was a form of romantic expression when money was really the main problem? I remembered how we walked from the whole east coast beach to your house at katong. No one has ever calculated how much we’ve walked over the years.

Perhaps a few hundred kilometers ?

I think you must be lonely being alone in the clouds of heaven sometimes. You always dread about loneliness didn’t you? I could remember the times you often complained about the loneliness you felt being the only child in your family…

Loneliness is something which we all will feel throughout our lives. I do hope the angels above can spread their wings of love upon you. I will be strong, I will be mindful of my actions, my speech and my desire. I will lead life as much as you want me to, I will live for you.

Taking life each day as it comes, nothing will be too big a barrier, nothing will be too small to be left unnoticed. I will wake up each day a happier person because life itself is a gift, a gift from the creator of heavens.

As I looked back to the days we’ve spent, knowing that memories will only be there for me to relive once more.

I thank the lord above for the gift of life, even though sometimes life is miserable when we fall, the strength that we develop to pick ourselves up is something not things that are taught, these are the things that we are supposed to learn. Lastly, I love you, and you know I really do. Please wait for me….

Yang,”

The wreath inside him was released the moment he finished reading. Mark just couldn’t control himself as he cried in the café.

He knew there were eyes that were lurking on him as people surrounding him were surprised that a full grown adult crying in the middle of the afternoon in a café.

“Sir, are you ok?”
The waitress came on to check.

“Yeah.. I’m fine.. sorry”
Mark said while wiping his tears.

“Don’t be… it’s good to let your heart out once in a while. This book must really be a sad story.”

“No.. It’s not because of the book. It’s something within me. I’ve been bearing with it for a long time already.”

“Then you should let go. Carrying a heavy burden all by yourself is miserable”

“Yes.. I’ve finally thought through it.”
Mark let out a sigh.

“Great! Sir, please enjoy your coffee then”
Mark looked at the waitress’s nametag as he took a sip of coffee .

“Sharon, You know something?”
“Yes?”

“Coffee actually taste bitter when you are sad”

“Of course, when you are sad you won’t feel the sweetness”

“Oh before I forget. I’m Mark Lee”
Mark reach out his hand for a handshake.

The waitress smiled and shook his hand.

Mark walked out the café a happier person that day.
However, he was interested in finding out the person who wrote on the book.

Somehow he felt closeness to the person named “Yang”.

What had he been through?

Did both of them suffer the same fate?

The only answer was to trace the borrower from the library database.
Mark then proceeded to the library.

-------------------

“Hi, I would like to check the previous borrower of this book please?”
Mark approached the stern librarian.

“I’m sorry Sir, we do not provide such services”

“Why?”

“We do not review any particulars/information of any members to anyone”

“Look, I’m serious here. That person is a close friend of mine.
Somehow I lost his contact numbers and now I have something which I need to pass back to him personally.”

The librarian did not response.

“Ok, you check for me and call the person for me. This way you won’t reveal any information to me and I can get in contact with him. Deal?”

“Alright.. you look urgent enough”
The librarian takes over the book and scans it.

Mark was waiting eagerly.

“Sir. Is your name Mr. Mark Lee?”

“Yes? That’s me”

“This book has only been borrowed once.. and the borrower is by the name Mark Lee”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书
Chapter 4

If you weren’t existed in this world, how would the lives of the people around you be?
Will they be happier?
Will they be sadder?
Will this world still be the same?

All of us asked ourselves this question at least once in our lifetime. Some were asked upon by others.

What is the meaning of existence?
Why were you created to suffer at the point of birth?

Some people are born rich while others struggled to survive through a day’s meal.
Some people are born smart while others struggled to get themselves through colleague.

You looked at those who are financially stronger than yourself.
You envy their abilities to get what they want.

Then you would ask yourself
“Why were you born?”

Be it a mistake, a moment of extended pleasure or even planned for by your parents.

Your very existence means a lot to the people around you.

You give your parents someone to scold when you don’t well for your grades.
You give your classmates your notes to copy or normally it would be vice versa.
You give your friends moments of laughter when all of you get together.
You give your first love to your crush.
You give your first girlfriend your first kiss.
You give your parents their first allowance.
You give your wife her first wedding ring.
You give your child their first breath of life.

Then you looked back at all the memories that you’ve gain and all the others that people remember you for.

Isn’t it wonderful that because you are existed to experience the meaning of life?

“Love is you, you have to love yourself before you learn to love others”

“Do you know Love, Mark?”
The voice was familiar.
It came from someone whom Mark hadn’t heard a long time.

“Where are you Jade?”
Mark tried to sweep the white mist that was surrounding him.

“I’m nowhere or you can say everywhere”
The voice replied.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“I… know Love..”
Mark replied.

“Love is you, you love yourself before you can love others”

“Then do you love yourself?”
The voice continued.

“I… I don’t know”

“Mark, if you don’t love yourself then how can you start loving others?”

“Why must I start loving others?”

“If you don’t love others, how can you go on?”

Mark didn’t answer.
“Mark, let go of me in your inner heart. Let me go, I don’t belong to this world anymore.”

“We promised to be together forever didn’t we? Isn’t that what love is all about? Eternity?”

“If you love someone very much then will you let go of her?”

His eyes were wide open by the sound of the morning alarm.
Mark tried to close back his eyes to go back into his dream.
As much as he wanted, he just couldn’t get back to the dream anymore.

Finally he picked himself up and washed himself.

Mark looked into the mirror and there were dark circles surrounding his puffy eyes.

He had dream about the past, something which he had tried to put behind after such a long time.

As he log on to his blog, Mark looked at the phrase that Psyche had left.

“Do you love yourself in the first place?”

Mark stared blankly until a knock on his door brought him back to reality.

“Are you going to work today?”

“Yes mum, I’m changing now”

As Mark left the room, a picture of Mark and Jade was hanging behind the door.
The picture was taken a long time ago.

Mark went out quickly after taking a quick breakfast.
It was later than his usual time.

The MRT was still as packed as always. Mark had board from the front cabin as he tried to avoid the girl from yesterday. More importantly he was trying to avoid the middle age women who gave him a dress down.

As Mark squeezed into the middle area of the cabin, one of his files knocked onto someone and dropped on the floor. Mark bended down and tried to pick up his file.

“Sorry…”

“It’s ok..”

As both eyes met, both pair of pupil expanded with surprise.
It was the girl from yesterday.

“Are you trying to look at my underwear today?”

The girl’s glared could instantly kill him.

“Eh… hey, I didn’t mean it yesterday. It wasn’t purpose.”

“So you mean you are on purpose today?”

Mark was lost for words and sweat came rolling down as he was afraid that she will scream and calling him a ‘pervert’

“Nah.. I don’t think you are such a person”
The girl pushed up her specs and smile.

There was a feeling of relived felt through all the veins throughout his entire body as his blood continues to flow once more.

“Phew… I’m glad you understand”

“Of course, I’m not a beauty anyway, even if you want to prey, you would have prey one someone wearing less, someone sexier?”

“Don’t say yourself like that ok? Well these aren’t the most encouraging words but if I’m really a pervert I will surely and definitely prey on you”

The iceberg seems to crush in between them.

“Why are you in the front cabin today?”
Mark asked.

“To avoid you loh! You know how embarrassed I was yesterday?”
The girl tried to cover her face as she blushed once more.

“Ok, you deserved an apology. I officially and sincerely apologized to you”

Mark spoke as he bow down his head for a moment.

“Next stop…Yishun station”
Announced over the announcement system.

“I would be alighting next, so where do you alight?”

“My workplace is at Raffles place”

“Wow.. office lady yeah?”

“Yeah.. kinda, I’m an accountant.”
The train had stopped and the doors had open.

“Oh.. before I forget, my name is Mark, see you tomorrow at front cabin?”
Mark handed her his namecard as he made his way out.

“See you Mark… my name’s Jade”

Mark stood at outside the platform as the door closes.

“Her name’s Jade?”

----------------------------

“Hey bro, you are late today… “
Shaun greeted Mark as he entered the office.

“Yeah, I had a bad night”

“Tell me about it man…”

“I dreamt about Jade last night”

“Jade? You mean your university’s sweetheart?”
Shaun stopped typing and turned to face Mark.

“Mark.. you still can’t let go?”

“I don’t know”

“I mean, sorry to say this but she had gone for so long”
Shaun walked over and pat on his back.

“You ought to get your life going”

“I did ok? I’ve got so many girlfriends after her”

“And all of them you really loved?”

Mark didn’t answer as he knew Shaun had saw through him.

“Come on bro, don’t think too much”

“Ok, let’s get started on this busy day”
Mark replied as he switched on his desktop.

He logged onto his blog.

Mark then keyed in.

“I used to love myself very much, then something bad happened. I realized that I do not love myself anymore.”

Before he got electronically buried in the tons of emails that clients all over the world sent.

Soon it was noon.

“Hey Boss is bringing us out for lunch today”
Christine announced after she came out of the boss office.

“Great! Let’s have a good lunch!”
Shaun cheered.

“Please leave me out… I want to catch a short nap in the office”

“Ok loh, you don’t want to see him right? After he screwed you yesterday?”
Christine trying to bitch.

“Nah. Work is work. I’m just very tired”
Mark replied.

“Ok, maybe we will get you something when we are back later”
Shaun looked at his tired friend.

“Yeah…”

Mark went to make himself a cup of coffee as the group left for lunch.

As he came back, he log on to his blog once more.

As Mark looked at his tag board, there were full of unanswered questions as the next reply came.

“If you love someone very much then will you let go of her?”

It was sent by Pschye.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 3


You flip open your wallet, a picture of the two of taken together stands out.
The both of two were smiling and hugging like the end of the world in front of the camera.

To him, you had the most beautiful pairs of eyes.
To her, you had the sweetest of smiles.

Then you look at the mobile phone, the wallpaper being decorated with the unity of bonding picture of the two of you.

You keep all the messages that you’ve sent to each other.
The history of records goes as far as the birth of the new phone.

A special ringtone differentiates that someone from the rest as you will always be happier with that ringtone coming out from your phone.

You would start missing that person the moment you can’t settle your heart. Every happiness and sadness he/she would be the first one to know.

Someone who shared your memories, someone who walked you out of your darkness moment in life.

Then finally you ask yourself.

Is that person someone whom you loved the most?

Is that what Love is all about?

I don’t know.

I only know the person that who I loved the most on the very last moment I’m alive.


Mark stared at the screen with blankness.

“Do you know love?”

Those were the words that he was always asking girls that he’s dating.

“They don’t know about love as they probably only want companionship, they want attention and someone to pamper them.”

As Mark continued to look at the monitor, he realized too that he was not able to answer the question outright.

“Love is something that hurts you the most.”

Mark turned around and saw Christine behind him.

Christine tried to divert her attention to the neatly arranged files that she was trying arrange.

“Sorry, I just took a peek”

Christine apologized and made her way to the ladies.

“Love is something that hurts you the most?”

Mark keyed into his tag board, he couldn’t explain why but he just had no answer at the moment.

“Maybe Christine is right.”

Mark thought, hoping that ‘Psyche’ will reply.

As the day goes, Mark waited patiently and constantly checking on his blog.

There was no reply.

The day of an office work life comes to an end when their boss decided to leave the company at five. The dull spirit awakens through the loss of authority and control.

“Arghh… Let’s go for a drink tonight?”

Shaun offered some condolence.

“Nah..”
Mark rejected the offer.

“Oh.. Come on buddy… You had a bad day already”
Shaun tapped on his shoulder.

“Nah it’s ok pal, I’m ok man. Tomorrow is another brand new day right?”

Mark packed his bag and moved on.

Nothing seems to be in the way of obstruction for someone who is knocking off from work.

Not even a heavy rain, thunderstorm or earthquake can shattered the feeling of calling it a day at work.

The streets are bubbling with the peak hour crowds as everyone was making their way home on any form of transport available.

Mark moved against the flow of traffic.
As his small steps stroll through the crowds, his mind was still thinking about the question.

“What is Love? How much I know about Love?”

Mark recalled all the girls that he dated.
All of them claimed they loved him very much.

“How much?”
Mark would always ask them back.

“As much as you loved me”

“What if I don’t love you at all?”

“It’s ok, as long as you continue to go out with me. Whether you love me or not it doesn’t really matter right?”

“Why are we together when I don’t love you?”

“Because I love just being with you”
Mark always didn’t understand what they meant.

What’s the point of being together when one party doesn’t feel the same as the opposite?

Shouldn’t Love be equal?

As his thoughts began to settle down, Mark found himself standing in front of a rather old building.

It was the library as the signboard suggested.

Mark walked in thinking that the place would offer some silence in the crowded areas.

The library was peaceful and quiet as always.

Mark examined through the arrays of neatly arranged books on the shelves. He wondered through the fictional section, as stories would excite him as much as he remembers.

“The book of life at 15”

It caught Mark’s attention as he took out to read the synopsis on the back page.

“What do you know about life?
Have you ever taken a step backwards to look and reflect on the things that you have encountered?
Do all the things that happened to you change you to another person? What is the life of a 15 year old to you?
Do you still remember how it is like to be 15?”

Mark took out the book and started reading.

The beginning of the story was talking about a 15-year-old girl’s life in a poor family. How the family wanted to give her up to another family in bid to allow her to be raised properly. In the end her parents didn’t as they couldn’t bear leaving their child.

As Mark flipped through the pages, he came to a page with some hand written scribbles on the book.

“Love is you, you have to love yourself before you learn to love others”

Mark had no idea who wrote the sentence on the book but that sentence really struck him like a landslide.

Mark quickly borrowed the book and headed home.

After finishing his showers, Mark checked his blog once more.
There was no reply again.

Then Mark typed on his keyboard.

“Love is you, you have to love yourself before you learn to love others”

Then he waited.
There was no reply again.

Feeling down, Mark went to his couch and continued reading the book that he borrowed.

The story of the 15-year-old girl began with her childhood different other people. She has lesser to eat, lesser to wear from her brothers as they were fed to grow strong. It was a male dominant society as boys were raised proper and good with prospect of supporting the family later on. Girls were just eating the leftovers as the only thing they can do was the house chores.

Mark closed the book as it was rather late and the sleep bugs seems to start biting on him.

As he moved to switch his computer, there was a reply on his blog tag board.

It was Psyche.

“Do you love yourself in the first place?”

[To be Cont]

The Lowest Point of Life

Do you have friends or colleagues who always tell you?
“Oh shit… I'm very broke this month” then you realized they've got a new bag or they start showing you their latest watch.

It just rubs into my wound as they kept whining about their poverty which actually means that they do not have money to spend, not because they do not have money.

When was the last time you were down to your very last dollar?

This is not any part/chapter of my story; this is my life… as a real person.
As I withdraw $30 from the Auto-teller, the machine prompted me a receipt.
I remembered I didn't ask for one as I know it would be a confirmation of my savings account.

$8.94.- or in words, Eight Dollars and Ninety-four cents only.
Even the machine mocked me.

This is all I have until month end, until this month's pay is out.

Those who know me in real person would not have believed it.
Maybe they won't have expected it anyway.

Wifey's not well.. I don't allow her to work for now.
She's got a series of check up and scans coming up and it meant expenditure again.
I'm worried about her health, as much as the financial health that we are in.

What's in the future?
5-roomed Flat?
40 tabled 7 coursed Customary Wedding Dinner?

As I continued to think and wonder, the more I drift into state of trance. I can only cry at the movies so that my wife will not suspect that I'm really sad over my current situation. I cried because I need the emotional release that I'm up keeping. I had to be happy and cheerful all day, to keep her encouraged at the very least.

Fear had taken over me and the beginning of losing my confidence and oath that I’ve made during our registration.

“Who's going to give me happiness? Who's going to give me unconditional love? Who's going to give me a lovely home?”


“I DO” I said as I looked into her eyes as all the above questions appeared in the mist of seconds.

“I do” is the shortest sentence in the dictionary yet one of the sentence who bear the most responsibility.

I really do…

As I wondered how to increase my income, it had to be something which requires the lowest form of investment.

Money makes money… it's a known fact but there should be ways otherwise.

- I keep working hard everyday at work.

- I ever thought of going to the extend of cyber begging.
I even setup this blog below but I never kick start it anyway because of pride.
http://still-in-debt.blogspot.com/

- I also hope my thrice a week investment in Singapore Pools will finally yield something someday.

- Finally I decided to write stories in my blog. The objective is simple.
I start because I want human traffic so that I can earn from advertisements.

It’s not true to say I’m not very least interested in writing.
But my desire is more, because of the debts that I’m holding at the moment, because of the determination that I want to fulfill my goals.

I hope you don’t feel cheated when one day you came into my blog and realized that I’ve placed advertisements around.

It’s the very least of effort that I’m trying to generate some income… as I picked myself up from my lowest point of life so far…

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 2


As you flip opened a book today, have you ever wonder.
How many books do you think existed in this world?
Millions? Billions? Millions of Billons?
I don’t know about the true figure.
Maybe nobody bothers to count it anyway.

Book existed a long time and would exist until maybe all the trees in the world are chopped, shredded into pieces.
It has come a long time when we began learning about life.
Books bring with them vast knowledge and meaning of things which we don’t know, we don’t realized.

Could you still remember during young times when our teachers would ask us to treat a book gently?

Do not draw on your book.
Do not tear away pages that you like.
Do not keep the book for yourself as good things must be shared.

And most of all.
Love your book & your book will love you in return

My name is Mark Lee.
I'm a healthy male & turning 28 this year.
I cannot say I'm handsome although I have been constantly compared with a Taiwanese singer by the name ‘Leehom’.

I love sports, especially cross training running and swimming.
Do not imagine that I have a well toned body as not all runners are like that.

Hobbies?

Other than my sporty lifestyle, I love corresponding with people. Maybe that explains why I’m in the line of Customer Service as I’m a Customer Service Engineer in a Multi-national company.

I remembered that I also like reading, although I’ve forgotten the last book that I’ve read.

My ideal kind of date would be to find a cozy place, have a drink or two and talk about everything under the sun.

My ideal girl friend is someone who understands the value of our relationship. Someone who knows me enough and is willing to let me comprehends her as much.

Do you have the same hobby as me?

Are you someone who understands what love is?

Drop me a note.

Perhaps we will know each other better…”

-----------------

As he keyed in the last words,
Mark took a stretch after starting his online blog.
It was something that he wanted to do for a long time.

Everyone has a blog nowadays. It seems like people like to correspond online and save the meaning of meeting up unless you are good looking enough.

“What do people know about love nowadays? Two people that never see each other except web chat can also get married.”

Mark shook his head as looked at the clock.
It’s 7.45am and he’s all set for work today.

The journey is the same everyday for the last 2 years.
The routine tour of Bukit Panjang town as the LRT moves around before it reached the MRT stations as he traveled to Yishun.

Mark was always at the last cabin of the train.

It was something that he had done since the first day of work. Theoretically the first & last cabin should have the least people as it is the furthest from the escalator.

The crowd onboard the last cabin had a few familiar faces. People who he doesn’t knew but shared the same place in the last cabin throughout the 2 years.

There were the usual office guys & ladies heading for town, students heading for school and there was a bespectacled girl who always keeps her head down reading.

For 2 years, Mark had always wondered what book she had read.

“She must love reading a lot based on the fact that an average person can finish a book within a week…”

“Wow..! That’s 104 books at least for 2 years”
Mark tried to hide his exclamation in the train.

The he did something which he hadn’t for the last 2 years.
Mark took a step forward towards the lady.
The he advances, until he was right in front of her.

The girl did not react to him.
She continued her attention on the book.

Mark tried to peek at her book.
Unknowingly to him, someone was staring at him from behind.

“What you looking at pervert?”
A woman in her forties suddenly shouted across the cabin.

The girl looked up and Mark stared at her.

The woman walked in front of the girl and start scolding Mark.

“You pervert! You were looking at her down blouse right?”

“Auntie, I think you mistaken…I never”
Mark tried his best in defense but the attack came too strong.
“I saw you looking at this lady from afar, and then you advanced to take a closer look right?”

“Auntie, I was looking at her book”

“Looking at her boobs right??”

With all the commotion going on in the cabin, the girl blushed and tried to hide her face with her book.

When the train reached Woodlands, the girl made a dash for the exit as she could no longer bear the embarrassment.

The train door closed before Mark could react.

As the woman continue her scolding and swearing at him, Mark make his way to the front cabin still couldn’t understand the bad luck he had early in the morning.

Deep down he had hoped the girl will not be too bothered by the incident.

-------------

“What's with the black face?”
Shaun asked as he saw Mark walking into the office.

“*Sigh* Bad luck! I was looking at a person’s book then was framed that I was peeping on her”

“It’s normal lah…”

“What normal?”

“Normal to say you look at her books instead of her boobs lah brother!”

“What!? Even if you don’t believe me??”
Mark wanted to throw a file to Shaun’s table but was stopped by Christine, the undisputed office bitch.

“Eh Mark, boss looking for you...”

“Over?”
“Over Customer complains… what else? Your product didn't reach on time. If not for me, boss might have fired you already.”

“Yeah, if not for you, Boss would not have known”
Shaun talked back as Mark heads into the Manager's office.

After an hour of thrashing and verbal assault, Mark was out from the rings of fire injured emotionally.

As he tried to recover from the physiological blows, Mark begins surfing the internet.

“I wondered anyone been to my blog?”
Mark thought as he typed his address on the address bar.

There were some counts from the counter bar he had installed.
Then he went on to see the shout box.

There were no tags.

“Maybe it's still early”

Disappointed as he was, Mark wanted to close the web browser.
As his mouse went to the ‘cross’ window.

A short message appeared on his shout box.

It was his first tag.

“Do you know love?”

It read.

Its sender,

Someone named Psyche.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

[ Preface ]

Every beginning of a book will usually have a foreword or a preface before the introduction of the real story. A preface is a piece of short writing usually written by the author for saying thanks to all those who’ve helped and supported him throughout the good and bad times of writing.

I had thought about it.

If I would to thank anyone, it would be most probably be you.

You, the person who’s reading as your eyes scrolled down the screen as these words flow.

You, the person who spotted the mistakes in my grammar and spelling errors that even Microsoft Words can’t.

You, the person who commented the likeness of the story and possibility spread it out to your friends and colleagues.

You because without you,

There will not be any stories at all.





[ Chapter 1 ]


I chose to be smart rather than wise,
for I know wise only mean you have been through a lot of sufferings in life.
I rather choose the road and know what’s ahead before experience it then I will have a chose to take the route or not to.
The only route I chose wrongly in life is to love you, that’s why I’m wise in love now..

Do you believe in Cupid’s arrow that created ‘Love at first sight’?
Well Cupid’s arrow is not the only thing that is related to love.

What if I tell you there’s a book existed in this world that can tell you the person whom you loved most and the person that will love you the most.

A book so mysterious, that only few had seen it throughout centuries of time as nobody ever finds it. Tales and legends that come with it often ends up with the book missing after revealing the truth.

Would you want to take a look?

This is the Book of Love.

A book that was written by Eros (who was also known as Cupid), in ancient Greek times when he declared his love for the humanly form Psyche.

It was recorded in the writings that ancient gods were jealous of Psyche’s astonishing beauty that challenged their status.
Eros was sent by Venus to cause Psyche to fell in love with the ugliest man on earth. When he saw Psyche, her beauty struck him as he too fell in love with her.
Eros then tricked Psyche in believing that he was some ugly monster and she was to marry him but cannot see his real form.

One day Psyche saw his god-liked feature through the encouragement of her jealous sisters. She then fell in love with him immediately.

However Aphrodite, goddess of love (also known as Venus) rebuked their unity, Eros pleaded for his heavenly mother.

“What is your Love for him?”
Aphrodite asked Psyche.

“My Love for him is beyond the heavens and seas.”

“Then die for him. Die for your love if your love is real.”
Aphrodite challenged her.

Psyche went on to prove to her and killed herself.

Eros picked her body as it laid motionless.

“If you die for love, your love will die as well”
Eros told Aphrodite, as there was nothing he could do to stop Psyche.

“Then you tell me, what is love?”
The goddess of love wanted to know from her own child.

To which Eros replied.
“Love begins with nothing but ends with everything”

Aphrodite looked at Eros as he continued.

“Love is like a book;
You began writing the first page as you met her.
As you get to know more about her, the more pages you are able to fill in.
The book of love will only stop when your love for each other stops”

Eros took out a book and threw in front of her.

“This is my book of Love, this is the book which has written the person whom I loved the most and the most whom loved me the most”

Aphrodite flipped through the pages as she examines the book.

As she read, she was touched by the pureness of love that still existed.

Eros then killed himself to save Psyche from Hades.
However he was in turn trapped as Hades used Psyche as bait.

Without the god of love, the world became a dull place.

No one knows how to love anymore.
There were no feelings of love as humans carried on their life monotonously. Few died but there were fewer birth.

Upon seeing the world at the stage of collapsed.
Aphrodite personally went to Hades who lost all his respect from other gods and goddess for creating this mess.

Eros and Psyche were freed eventually but never see each other again as they put on mask to cover themselves.

Only the book of love will tell them where they are now.

“So if you have the Book of Love, will you want to take a peep to see who is the person you loved most?”

Mark suddenly realized the receiving end was dead silent…

“Hello? Still there?”

“Oh yeah… where were you?”
The girl replied over the phone.

“I was in the middle of Greece”
Mark replied.

“Huh? You crazy arh? You were saying something over a book.
Sorry I think I dozed off”
The girl yawned.

“It’s ok, you have a good rest”

“Why so fast hang up? When are we going out again?”
The girl eagerly asked over the phone.

“When you been to Greece and come back”
Mark replied as he hung up his phone.
Mark stretched himself as he got up from the sofa and walked towards the window.

The night was very quiet in the neighborhood.

The moon was shining bright from the clear sky and many lights had already turned out.

“What is Love?”
Mark asked himself as he looked at the moon.

“Does this book of love really exist?”
Mark turned to look at the ‘Greek Mythology’ book on his table.

“Why can’t I love someone for real?”


[To be Cont]

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 21 - Finale

[ You are the reason why I loved the rain ]

Have you ever notice that time passed very quickly when you are happy?

Time seems to drag when you are sad and down.

But in fact, time passes by quickly… when we fail to notice..

----------------------

Four years had past since the biggest rain hit Singapore.
Many rainfall has since descended but never was one as frightening as the one which happened four years ago.

It rained for seven straight days.
“Seven days of fearsome rain” as the newspaper quoted.
Hundreds of vehicles were damaged by the flood that came.
Properties that were damaged amounted to millions.
It was the worst natural disastor that have struck Singapore in history.

But everything was back to normal when it stopped.
That’s the surviving abilities of humans.

The Accident & Emergency section in the Singapore General Hospital was as busy as the day when Wilson was sent in four years ago. Helpless people came in for help everyday.

However, the bed in the intensive care unit is empty.

Nobody remembers who was the last person who slept on that bed in the Intensive Care Unit.

Only Mavis knew KaiLoke and Wilson had both slept on it.

The world keeps on revolving no matters what happen.
No matters who’ve left, who remains.

Mavis had done relatively well in her A levels and is currently graduating from her honous degree in Business & Finance Management with a scholarship.

The stage was set and her name was called upon.
Her parents stood the proudest the moment she received her certificate of merit.

Hanling ran up to hug her friend after the ceremony as all the parents linked up with their children.

“Hui, you’ve done it! You’ve made us proud!”

“Hanling, you’re not bad either. Heard you are going for Masters?”

“Well… it depends if Clement is going for it as well”

“Pa, Ma”
Mavis hugged her parents.

Her mother was in tears as she could not believe her daughter would be able to finish her studies on her own.

“Very good.. very good. You have done us proud”
Mavis’s mother just hugged her and cried.

It was a very special moment.

“If only you were here…”
Mavis thought as she continued with the photo taking sessions trying her best to hide her disappointment.

“Are you going there today?”
Hanling asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine..”
Mavis replied.

“It’s been four years already.. I think he would be very happy to see this”
Mavis said as she held her certificate tightly.

---------------------

The cemetery was all peaceful and quiet.
Mavis walked small steps as she approached the grave.

“I hope this place is fine for you…”
Mavis laid her flowers upon the grave.

“It’s peaceful and quiet…”

“I’ve graduated. I’ve finished something that you would want me to. I will be working for one of the top banks. I hope you will be happy for me.”

Mavis felt something felt on her head.
She knew it was raindrop because she could smell rain before they came.

It began to drizzle then it got bigger.
Mavis was kneeling down when there was an umbrella covering her.

“Why don’t you bring an umbrella when you knew it will rain?”

“Why aren’t you here today?”
Mavis looked up.

“Do you know how important it is to me today?”

“I know… I was caught up in the rain…”

“Hey! Don’t use rain as an excuse!”
Mavis stood up.

“I was really caught up in the rain… It was raining heavily down town. If you don’t believe you can ask KaiLoke.”

“KaiLoke should have taken you that day”
Mavis looked at the grave.

“Oh yeah? I wonder how you will react if I’m really gone?”

“I will live better…”
Mavis turned her back towards him.

“Yeah.. but then no one will proposed to you…”
Wilson reached out from his pocket and took out a ring.
“Will you marry me?”

Wilson put his umbrella aside and kneeled down.

“I promise KaiLoke I will love you forever and ever.”

Mavis turned around.

“Hey, you will catch a cold like this”
Mavis took the umbrella and shield him.

“I cannot see the diamond on this ring…”
Mavis examined the ring as she took from Wilson’s hand while pulling him up.

“Make sure you buy a ring with a bigger diamond next year”
She hugged him.

The rain continued to drop as the couple stood in front of KaiLoke’s grave. Then it stopped.

A rainbow appeared before them.

It was as if a gift from heavens which signifies their union.

The rain will continue to fall, no one know why it rains and perhaps sometimes they don’t know when…

But Mavis knew.. Because she could smell it before it comes…

Because the Rain Angel will continue to protect her.

[ The End ]

My next Story...

{ 爱神の书 }

Book of Love

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 20

[ It was raining when you left me ]

We all live in an unpredicted life, sometimes we can’t even know when things will come, when they will go. The most beautiful things in life are the ones that are always around which u fail to notice, only to regret when they disappear…. Like love….

As for me, the story continues as I struggle in life, searching for things that had pass me, things that I’ve missed.

Maybe it will take a lifetime, maybe I won’t be able to find it back, for there’s only one guy, which I once lived my life for.

Till this day comes, I will continue to become others’ passerby in their life and make them have great memories about me…..


24 hours had past, 48 hours gone.
Wilson was out of the critical zone but still put on intensive care for the next few days because of his coma.

It had rained continuously for 7 days now.

“Good Evening, this is the evening news. Singapore have recorded its highest rainfall ever of 675mm. Prior to that , the highest was in 1978 where 512mm of rainfall hit Singapore.

The Meteorological Services Division could not be reached for comment as there seems to be no answers to this continuation rain that is hovering our island for the past week. Earlier forecast was only for 2 days.

Meanwhile, areas along Upper Thomson and Sembawang had reports of flooding. Vehicles and Public are advised to avoid that area.

PUB and the Meteorological Services Division will continue to monitor the situation closely and alert the public where necessary”

Mavis switched off the television.

She walked towards the window and looked at the grayish sky.
The rain didn’t want to stop.

“I wonder when the rain will stop?”
The nurse said as she entered in to tidy the room.

“I don’t know.. It’s one of the scariest rain I’ve ever seen”
Mavis said as she looked out of the window.

Maybe it was due to all the Teru-bozu that was tied upside down in the room. Mavis had decorated the room filled with hope with the rain angel.

“*Cough*”
Mavis heard something.

“*Cough, Cough*”
It was coming out from Wilson’s bed.

“Ms Guo, please come here quickly”
The nurse alarmed her.

Mavis rushed towards the bed and realized Wilson was coughing blood out of mouth.

“Oh.. no… Doctor!!! ”
The nurse ran out to get help.

“Wilson… please hold on…”
Mavis grabbed his hands and kneeled beside him.

Wilson’s eyes were slightly opened.

“Hui..”
Wilson continued to cough blood out from his mouth.

The scene looked like a replay to Mavis as the doctors came in for emergency rescue.

Only this time the male lead was different.
It was Wilson.

“Ms, please stand back. We will do our best to rescue him”
The doctor instructed.

There was nothing Mavis could do.

It was the same as before, she could only stood and watched.

Mavis stood by the window and looked at the merciless rain.
The raindrops were splashing on the window. The thunder was roaring and lighting striking all over.

The rain she knew was too frightening for her to acknowledge.

As the doctors continued to recover him, Mavis was sobbing quietly near the window.

“KaiLoke…. Why are you taking Wilson away?”

----------------------

[ To be Cont - Chapter 21 Ending!!~ ]

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 19

[ It just rain and rain and rain…. ]

As we walk our paths in the hands of our own, little do we always knows what lies ahead of us.
We are born with the feeling of senses, emotions and unexplainable thoughts. We cried at times, when we felt useless and down, when the whole world seems moving away from us.

We felt happy when the things we do right, angry when all turns out in the wrong direction. Sometimes we will wonder, can we control our own emotions?

Can we cry when we want to and don’t when we don’t feel like it?

“Do you know the feeling of losing the most important thing in you life? If you do, it’s what I’m feeling now…..”
Being love is painful when you doesn’t feel anything for that poor guy/gal who tries to impress you with tons of poems and love songs.

Loving someone is even more painful when you realize whatever you do for her/him isn’t enough.

There’s still many things I still don’t know about, there are things which logic can’t explain, theories cannot prove, which is my love for you..
sometimes I wish there’s a meter which shows the love people shared between one another, maybe when that day comes you will then realize how much you mean to me…......

“Wilson?? Hello?? Hello?”
There was no response as the phone line sounded disconnected.

Something was wrong.
Mavis felt the feeling of shock and desperation for answers.

Suddenly Mavis felt numbness throughout her.
If was the same feeling she had when KaiLoke died that day.
Mavis didn’t know what to do next.

Her phone rang.

“Hello Wilson???”

“What Wilson? Its me lah, Hanling.”

“Hanling… I’m so scared now, I don’t know what to do..”
Mavis sound panic as she began to break down.

“What happened dear? Calm down and tell me.”
Hanling trying to calm.

“I was talking to Wilson and all of the sudden I heard a loud ‘Bang’ at the background and the phone just cut off”

“And he was driving?”

“Yeah he told me he was on his way to the pub.”

“Hui, I come over now, you go prepare. Let’s go down to his workplace.”

---------------------

Mavis and Hanling took a cab to down town.
They went to the pub but his manager told them Wilson did not report for work that night. He was trying to contact him too.

“Let’s try to go round the possible route to see if there’s any clue”
Hanling hailed as she waved down a cab.

They went round the town searching in vain.

There was no direction, only an objective.

The cab slowed down at the junction upon exiting the city.

“Sorry, I think there’s some accident happened in front”
The cab driver turned to them.

“Uncle, please drop us here.”
Hanling replied.

The two of them walked towards the accident area.
There was traffic police signage all over as the traffic police were redirecting the on coming vehicles.

Mavis walked further ahead.

The sight was chaotic, it appears to be a bus that ramped into the back of a car. The car in turn was sandwiched between the bus and another vehicle.

There was smashed broken glasses and spilled blood all over the road.

“Is that car Wilson’s?”
Hanling came to her friend.

“I don’t know… I never sit in his car before..”
Mavis said as she continued walking towards the scene.

Then Mavis saw a Teru-bozu doll hanging on the rear mirror in the car.
The doll was covered with blood.

“Oh my god.. it’s Wilson’s!”
Mavis covered her mouth as she almost collapsed on the floor.

Hanling grab hold of her friend as they walked closer to the scene.

“Hey, you can’t come in”
The policeman tried to stop them.

“Where’s the driver?”
Hanling pointed to the car while holding on to Mavis.

“Are you his family?”

“This is his wife!”
Hanling raised her voice as she referred a sober Mavis to the policemen.

“Please tell us he’s still alive”

“The injured male has been send to the hospital”
That’s all the policeman said.

“Which hospital? Do you want us going to every hospital in Singapore?”

Hanling beginning to lose her calm.

“Please hang on, let me check”
The policemen tried to radio back to the headquarters for more information.

Mavis walked towards the car.
She tried to take out the Teru-Bozu doll from the car.
A portion of the broken windscreen cut her hand while she took out the dolls.

“He’s been send to Singapore General Hospital”
The policemen replied Hanling.

Hanling saw Mavis walking back.

“Where did you go? What happened to your hand???”
Hanling pointed to the blood that was dripping down.
She rushed to look for a bandage in the First Aid box and dress Mavis wound.

Mavis didn’t said anything as she stood there staring in blank.

-------------------------

Hanling took her hands as they got down at the hospital.
They rushed to the information counter at Accident & Emergency and asked for Wilson’s whereabouts.

As they walked into the Intensive Care Unit room.
Wilson was lying there motionlessly with bandages over his hands and legs.
He was still in a coma after the immediate surgery where his lungs were punctured during the crash.

“He’s basically out of the danger for the moment as we’ve remove the blood clot in his left brain but the next 24hrs would be very critical.”
The doctor tried to explain the situation.

“But we won’t know when he will wake up. It really depends on him and very much depends on your support and encouragement”

The doctor left after explaining.
Mavis suddenly realized the familiarities as she walked through the room filled with medical equipments.

“It’s the same room…”

“KaiLoke was in this room too…”
Mavis told Hanling.

“Are you sure..?? Wah how can this be possible?”

Mavis walked and looked out of the window.

“I was here…”

“Don’t worry too much, Hui”
Hanling hugged her friend.

“Hanling, you go back first? I’ll stay and watch him”

“Are you sure you can managed by yourself?”

“Yeah… Please help me to apply leave for classes for tomorrow.”

Hanling left the room.

Mavis was alone with Wilson.

It was ironic as this would be their first time together in a room without any other people. She had so much to ask him, to tell him.
It seems that there would be no answers for now.

Mavis began to think about KaiLoke.
She didn’t want the same things to happen to Wilson again.

It was painful enough to go through once.
She didn’t know what will happen if the same fate happens again.

As she lay on his bed, she dreamed about them.
The first meet, the quarrel, the childhood times, the irritating but joyful times. It wasn’t much to most people but it was enough for her to remember a lifetime.

The sky outside the hospital darkens into the early morning as the dark clouds gathered.

Soon the rain pours right in the middle of the night.

It rained through the morning when Mavis woke up by the nurse.

Wilson was still alright but still motionless.

Mavis looked out the window.

“Very heavy rain outside..”
The nurse told her.
“I’ve never seen such a big rain”

“Yeah.. it was as if the heaven is crying”
Mavis looked at Wilson.

[To be Cont]

[Chapter 21 - Final Chapter]

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 18

[ The rain that falls will go back to the heavens?]

“Jane, look what I’ve gotten for you”

A couple was at the park when the male took out something from his bag.

“I don’t want your things”

“Why? Didn’t you say it was very beautiful the other time?”

“Yeah, the other time. Were you listening then?”
The female fold her arms.

“I know, I know. I promise to buy but I didn’t”

“You only know how to promise but never know how to keep them”

“What is it that you want?”
The male was getting frustrated.

“Why do you talk to me like this? You never raised your voice at me before”

“I’m sorry Jane.. I didn’t mean it”
The male knew he was been overboard.

“Why are you always apologizing? Are you that sorry that we are together?”
The female asked.

“Let’s break up”
The female stared at the male with her tears flowing.

“Why? Why do we have to break up? What wrong did I do?”

“You never did anything wrong. I’m the one who’s wrong. I’m wrong about you. I’m wrong about myself. I’m wrong about our relationship.”

The female started to walk away, weeping away.

“Fine... suit yourself... find someone who can face your stubbornness and demanding factor”

The guy said before he walked the opposite direction.

When he walked past the telephone booth, he threw the bag inside and walked off.


Mavis had ended up in the park again.
She wanted the peace and quiet that the shopping areas couldn’t provide.

She was walking through the gardens of flowers when a slight drizzle of rain came upon.

Mavis ran to find shelter and the nearest she could see was the phonebooth.

Mavis tried to dry herself.

“Luckily this phonebooth has not torn way yet.”

Mavis notices a paperbag lying on the floor of the phonebooth.
Out of curiosity, she took the bag and examines the contents.

Inside the bag was a box.
It looked like a shoe box to her.
The brand imprinted on the box was similar to the shops which she had walked just.

“Who could have left it here?”

Mavis wondered as she opens the box,

It was a pair of heels within.
It was the same pair of heels which the sales girl ask her to try.

Mavis took out the pair of heels.
It matched her shoe size.

“Wow!! It fit just nice”
Mavis got carried away as she put on the heels even without thinking who its owner was.

To her, it seems that the shoes had found her instead of her finding them.

Mavis was filled with joy as she danced inside the booth with her heels on. It was the first time that she had ever wears a pair of heels in her life.

“Why try on something which you won’t be able to own?”

Mavis’s thought came haunting.

“Why be with someone when you know there’s no future between them?”

She was wrong.

Mavis was wrong when she said she could not own the pair of heels.
She is wearing them right now at this very moment.

Sometimes you need to own the things as the things will be owned by you one day.

The things that you lost may not be found one day, but the things that you own may not even be lost at all.

Mavis looked up in the sky.
Rain was still coming down.

“Thanks KaiLoke…”

“I finally know what I want”

Mavis took out her mobile phone and dials the numbers.

The line connected…

“Hanling, you free to talk?”

“Oh… yeah what is it regarding…?”

“Its regarding today’s question”
“Yeah….”

“I was asking you about Wilson…”

“Ask what?”

“What if we happen to like the same guy? I really mean what if?”
“You mean the guy that you mention is Wilson? Not Clement?”

“Yup its Wilson… What if I like him too?”

There was no response from both parties.
The sound of rain could be heard by both of them.

“Crazy girl! Why will I be angry with you when you like Wilson?”
Hanling responded first.

“But.. Don’t you like him too?”

“That’s the past already.. For now it’s only Clement and me”

“Really?”

“Yeah…. If you really like Wilson then go for it..! He’s not bad looking”

“Will you give me your blessings?”

“Of course!”

Soon sounds of happiness filled the phonebooth. The rain had stopped and Mavis was making her way home.

She was carrying the bag of heels in her arms.

Finder’s Keeper’s, she knows.
You may find something then you own it.
After awhile you begin to ignore it.
Finally you forgotten about it.
Until it’s found again.

---------------------


Mavis was lying on her bed looking at her mobile phone.

Mavis pressed Wilson’s number accidentally and it rang twice before Mavis hung up in panic.

Wilson called back immediately.

“Hello….? Darling? You looking for me?”

“Nope, I pressed wrong buttons…”

“Really arh.. that’s sad”

“It’s ok, if no one talks to you, I can still talk to you”

“You would dear? Wah.. you make my day”

“Where are you going? Your background sounded abit noisy”

“Oh… I’m on my way to the pub to work loh… driving now”

“Wah.. you still work so many jobs”

“Yeah.. if not how to feed you next time?”

“Wilson, can I ask you a question? You must tell honestly”

“Ok..”

“Do you really like….”

The Mavis heard a loud "BANG!" before his line was totally cut off.

“me…”

“Hello?? Hello??? Wilson you there??????”

[ To be Cont ]

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 17

[The Rain of Love]

Do you know what is Love?

Everyone knows the meaning of the word love, ask them and they will tell you it’s a kind of feeling which you won’t get much in your life, a kind of feeling which you never expect it to arrive.

Stories of love pass us each day without realizing its existence in the first place. Sometimes we think we are in love, but the feeling becomes mutual as time goes by. Yet there are times when love passes us before you could even realize.

Love is a feeling that stretches your emotion to the fullest. You’ll feel the joy, the laughter, the warmness, the coldness, the loneliness, the attention, the neglecting, the kindness, the anxiety, the jealousy, the eagerness, the worries, the sadness and the happiness if you get love in return...'

Love is an experience. You will experience the most wonderful times, the most stressful times and the most comforting times in life. If you look back, love goes with time. Without time, there won’t be love.

When was the last time you truly, deeply, madly in love with someone?

“I…”
Mavis looked down, as she knew she was caught.

Deep down, she felt worse than a culprit that had been sentenced to guilty of charge.
Whatever statement she made would not be valid for the court’s defense.

“You naughty girl…!”

Hanling pat her back as she sat down beside Mavis.
Clement had gone to the gents.

“I know you did it for me, Hui”
Mavis just stared blankly at her friend.

“You are indeed my very best friend!”
Hanling hugged her.

“What did I do?”
Mavis was puzzled with her friend’s reaction.

“You wanted to create chance for me and Clement right?”

“Ehhh….”

“Don’t deny it, I know you are always so thoughtful. I should have known earlier, I feel so ashamed of myself for been angry with you just now”

Hanling plead guilty.

Mavis suddenly felt all the guilt that cast upon her was lifted and she was once again a free girl.

“Clement asked me to be his girlfriend as his birthday wish!”
Hanling cheekily told Mavis as Clement came out and greeted her.

“Wow… that’s fantastic!”
Mavis congratulates her friend.

“Yeah and to think a few months ago, you were crying your dead body over Wilson….”
Mavis thought as she continued to smile at her friend.

“Hello Hanling”
Wilson greeted her.

“Hello Wilson, It’s my boyfriend’s birthday so I took him to come taste your ramen”
Hanling grabbed Clement’s arm and leaned against him.

“Hi, I’m Clement. Nice to meet you”
Wilson shook Clement’s hand.

The most innocent party was probably Clement, as he knew nothing about what happened between them.

“Oh… ok, since it’s his birthday, the lunch is on me then”

As the three of them were enjoying their lunch, Hanling noticed something different.

“Hey Hui, why are your Cha Siew so odd shaped? Some looked like a heart even!”
Hanling tried to pick a piece out of her bowl.

“No lah, it’s just badly sliced Char siew that’s all, where got heart shape?”
Mavis tried to finish all her Char siew in one go.

Wilson just stood by a corner, smiling away as he observed Mavis’s reaction.

-----------------------------

Lesson started after lunch break.
Mavis felt very guilty yet very relieved at the same time.
She still could not get herself out of the reaction of how Hanling will felt.

Will she lose her best friend?
Over a guy?

Mavis then wrote on a piece of paper to Hanling who was sitting on her right.

“Hanling, can I ask you a question?”
Mavis wrote.

“Yeah? What is it?”
Hanling replied.

“Are we the best of friends?”
Mavis looked at her.

“Of course! We knew each other for such a long time already!”
Hanling smiled.

“What if we happen to like the same guy? I really mean what if?”

“I would never think you will do that to me, Hui”
Hanling looked serious as she wrote on the piece of paper.
She continued writing.

“I will not talk to you again..”

Hanling then looked straight at the lecturer.
Mavis tried to get her response but Hanling just didn’t comply.

Mavis panicked and quickly wrote on the paper.

“Hanling, I meant nothing”

“What’s so good about Clement? What’s so good about him that make you like him?”
Hanling looked at Mavis and asked her in the face.

“Clement??”

“Yeah, if not then who?”

“I think there’s a misunderstanding.. How can I like Clement?????”

“Because you are jealous of me when he asked me to be his girlfriend”
Hanling didn’t want to hear further.

“Hanling, listen to me. If I like Clement, why would I create chance for the both of you? I’ve never join your invitation on any outings with him before”

Hanling looked down before she sighed.

“Please trust me, I didn’t mean anything. I just asked..”

“For?”

“I just asked for…. fun?”

“What’s so funny about this?”

“We are the best of friends but that doesn’t mean we have to share everything include our boyfriends?”

Soon their little commotion had stirred the attention of the lecture hall.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you angry”
Mavis made her way out of the lecturer hall with her eyes reddened.

Mavis didn’t realized how much Clement meant for Hanling now.
Hanling obviously didn’t know that Mavis wasn’t asking about Clement.
It’s a beautiful misunderstanding that erupted, deterring their friendship.

Mavis just walked her way home, ending her class early today.

As it was still a few hours before the school ends, Mavis had to find a place to spend her time.

She walked through the crowded shopping centers,

wandering through the clothes, bags and shoes.

Mavis hardly shops, maybe her family’s financial burden had grown her up into a person who’s not fascinated by the marketing strategy of the shops or the fashionable design of the fashion labels.

Mavis looked at the pair of heels.

It was something that caught her eye from all the available merchandise that was displayed.
She had never worn heels before.

“Miss.. would you like to try?”
The Sales girl asked politely.

Mavis rejected the offer and left the shop.

“Why try on something which you won’t be able to own?”

“Will the slight moment of pleasure be able to subdue yourself from yearning more?”

It was this thought that struck her mind.

“Why be with someone when you know there’s no future between them?”

[To be Cont]

{ 雨の天使 }

Rain Angel

Chapter 16

[Will it Rain Today?]

Girl “I like the rain”
Boy “I don’t like the rain”
Girl “Then I don’t like you”
Boy “I never ask you to like me”
Girl “I never ask you to like me too!”
Girl “I only ask you whether you like the rain”
Boy “If I like the rain then will you like me?”
Girl “I will only like you when the rain likes you”
Boy “How to make the rain likes me?”
Girl “By liking the rain first”
Boy “But I don’t like the rain”
Girl “Then I don’t like you”

And it goes on and on.

Some people say Love is the sweetest at birth.
While others said Love gets sweeter as time goes by.
It takes a lot of effort and unbelievable factors for two persons to be together. It could be your childhood sweetheart; it could be your friend’s friend. It could also be the girl whom you see everyday on the bus.

The process of knowing, communicating and understanding will develop into the liking.
It’s the liking that makes the two of you special.

It’s because you know the things he likes while he knows what you don’t like. The world slowly turned because of each other’s existence.

When you are not together, you would think of your special and a smile would grow on your face.

Are you thinking of someone now?

Mavis couldn’t sleep that night.
She was thinking about him, about her, about them.
She can’t even find a reason to explain her actions for hugging him.

Maybe she had kept feelings compressed for too long.
All is released that night.

What would Hanling think?
What would KaiLoke think?

Did she do the right thing?
What is the right thing?
---------------------------

It was another day of lecture.
Mavis’s bag trembled through the vibrations of her mobile phone.
She took up her mobile and tried to hide her smile in the lecture theater.

It showed Wilson’s number.

[ How are you today Babe? ]

Mavis tried to hide her mobile while replying her sms.

[ Time is dragging… Lesson is boring…and worst of all. You are irritating me…]

Her replied came within a minute.

[ Then how can I make you happy, dear? ]

[ I’m not your dear, stop calling me that!! ]

[ If you not my dear then who is? ]

[ Stop dreaming, I never said we are together unless… ]

[ Unless what? ]

[ Unless you can appear now right in front of me in my lecture hall ]

[ Now ? How is that possible ]

[ Yeah as impossible as claiming you as my ‘dear’ ]
Mavis started giggling as if she was in her own world.

“What’s so funny Mavis?”
Hanling asked her.

“Oh.. Nothing much”
Mavis didn’t want her best friend to know about their relationship.

Suddenly Mavis felt something hit her from behind.
She turned around but didn’t saw the culprit.

Then it hit her again when she turned back.

Mavis turned around and starts searching for her prey.
Her eyes screen every single student sitting behind.
Her eye tearing radar spotted someone behaving very suspicious in the crowd of students behind.

Mavis took a closer look and quickly turned back with her heartbeat pumping away.
Her face was as red as fresh tomatoes.

Her mobile vibrates again.

[ You look so cute when you blush…]

Mavis quickly replied.

[ How did you sneak into our school’s lecture hall??? ]

Wilson was sitting four rows above her.

[ Hahaha what’s so difficult to get a St Andrew’s Uniform? ]

Mavis didn’t reply.

“Hui, something wrong? You looked so uneasy since beginning of this lecture.”
Hanling asked as Mavis was behaving strangely.

“Ehh… nothing wrong. It’s ok, I trying to figure out this theory factor.”

Mavis got another incoming sms.

[ You lose dear, see you at the restaurant at lunch. Lunch on me, see you there ]

Wilson took his bag and left the lecture hall.

Mavis just sat there speechless until lunchtime.

---------------------------

“Hui, where do you want to go for lunch?”
Hanling caught her hands when they came out.

“Ehh.. I need to go home awhile, I don’t think I will have lunch with you”

“But its Clement’s birthday today! Didn’t you agree to go with me last week?”

“Did I ? I must have forgotten.. I really need to go home”

“Oh… ok, guess I just have to join him myself, see you later girl”
Hanling bid her farewell before she walks to join Clement.

“See you later”
Mavis waved.

“Seems like Hanling and Clement is getting along pretty well”
Mavis thought as she made her way to the Japanese restaurant.

-------------------

Mavis was greeted when she entered the restaurant.

“Hi dear, so what would you to have for lunch?”
Wilson bow & greeted her like a professional concierge.

“Don’t think too much, I came because I lost the bet”
Mavis glanced at him before she found a place to sit.

Before Mavis could order, Wilson brought a bowl to her.

“I didn’t place my order yet”

“It’s ok, I’ve already prepare for you in celebration of the birth of our relationship.”

It was a bowl of Cha Siew Ramen which she took the first time she came.
However, the Cha Siew was all cut in heart shape.

“Eekk.. How am I supposed to eat all these?”

“Then you just look at them loh”

“Is it how you court all your ex-girlfriends?”
Mavis took a sip of green tea.

“Nope, you are the first”
Wilson replied.

“Yeah… right”

“You are the first girl that I’m going to court. The rest of my ex-girlfriends chased me”Wilson said before he went on to serve other customers.

“Male Chauvinist Pig, so boastful of his words”Mavis said before she quietly tucks in her ramen.

Wilson showed her the victory sign before heading for the kitchen.

“Hui, where are you here?”
Mavis looked up.

It was Hanling and Clement as they entered the restaurant.

[To be Cont]