Journal of Life ~ what makes a good relationship?


Whenever there’s a quarrel or argument between my friends and their partners, they would end up asking me this old fashion question of ‘What makes a good relationship?’

Most of the time, I just shrugged and said that I don’t really know.

‘You must be joking, you love your wife so much and you always give in a lot to her’
That’s what some general comments.
It would always end with ‘and you are spoiling her for all the goodness.’

“You are just looking one sided.” That’s what I always remind them.

There are many things which we won’t know in a relationship.

Every relationship has similarities and differences. One thing we know, a relationship begins with two persons with a common view but ends with one person having different views.

I treat my wife well not because I have to, it’s because I want to.
I spoilt her because of all the sacrifices that she made for me in order for us to be together.

It’s not easy for someone to travel and live in a foreign place so far away from her parents and relatives and had so little friends to count on when she needs the support.

I remembered there was once when we quarreled and she was so distress with herself. Not because of the quarrel but because there’s no other place for her to go to other than my room.

It’s not easy to suddenly move into my house and stayed with my parents and aunt. She had to endure their differences in personality, behavior and ways of living.

I sometimes asked my wife why are we together? I’m not handsome or rich. There are many things she longed and I can only owe her at this moment.

Perhaps it’s just plain simple, it’s because I treat her same ever since the day I know her. I would plan for all the major things in life and allow my shoulders for her to lie on.

I know couples who don’t talk much after their marriage. They would just lie down on their bed and kiss goodnight before turning their back to each other. I know couples who still behave like courtship and no one would know they already have kids.

Maybe the definition of a good relationship is just keeping the same feeling towards each other the moment you feel that he/she is the one for you. Not just having the same feeling but also showing the same affection and attention as the first moment the relationship started.

Remembering the times when the two of you went for a late night show and walked all the way home? Or waiting for her outside her office with a bunch of roses as she knocked off?

Being romantic is not asking you to do something that is done in the movies. To me, being romantic to your loved one is doing the things that you ever did for her/him and made her/him remembered until today.

It’s the littlest and simplest things which we think it is no longer needed to be done that spur a relationship to go on.

So what if you know each other for 20 years or married for 5 years?
Didn’t the two of you fell in love with each other because of the way you were treated?

Redo the things which you ever did for your love, she may find it a bit silly and perhaps she would tell you that it’s no need to.

Just tell her, “Honey, I haven’t changed since day one….”

This is Love, nothing strengthen a relationship like rekindling one.