Book of Love 爱神の书




Chapter 31


Do you still remember your first relationship? It’s a blessing if you tell me that you are still in the first relationship. Guess many of us out there aren’t exactly as fortunate as you might be.

I waited 21 years of my life before I had my first relationship. It’s not too long nor short, it just happened to the both of us.

I could still remember telling my ex-girlfriend the moment that we were together.
“So… What’s next?”

It wasn’t her first relationship so she was my mentor of love. She showed me the sensitive side of female which I didn’t know at all. She taught me how to treat a person nicely during a relationship. Most of the time it was to ‘give in’ even though sometimes all facts pointing to your victory.

We quarreled like many others relationships and often stood at the edge of break up because she felt I didn’t care about her. I didn’t realize the definition of ‘caring’ towards someone in verbal form.

I have to sms her ‘I miss you’ even though we just parted an hour ago. I have to sms her ‘I
love you’ even though I had just showered her with love and attention.
Throughout the times that we were together, I would proudly said that she had changed me a lot.

From a person who’s only convinced that ‘love is only based on physical attraction’ to someone who seems to understand the fundamental basis of love experience. That was the transformation within me after the relationship.

We finally let go of each other’s hand after four and half year journey. I felt ashamed that I wasn’t sad at all. Maybe the feeling had died; maybe we knew each other too well.

People sometimes ask me why I seem to understand girl’s thoughts and feelings. I guess that
journey did help me as I was able to carry the experience to another person.

Even if I would forget her one day, I would still remember the arguments that we had went through, the food that we shared, the movies that we watched and the sadness when we quarreled.

All these, for not repeating the same mistakes to the one that is in my life now.

This is Love, the experience and evolution of relationships.





The café was filled with customers longing for a good coffee break after a tiring day. Many came in groups and were happily chirping about their daily life and sipping in their coffee.

The laughter and sound that came from them did not bother Mark the least bit as he was too engrossed with the book within his hands.

“Chapter 11 – Your First Relationship with Jade”

Mark cleared his throat as he reads.

“It is of the most unusual places that the two of you first met. The arrangement seems like destiny sets it’s foot upon. Both of you continued from this meeting and became friends as time goes by….”

-----------------------------------

University 1st Year.

“Don’t they have easier questions that these?”

Mark scratches his head as he tries to attempt his first examination as an undergrad. An hour had passed and Mark could only do three questions of the given ten.

“Shit… an hour more to go... better get my head cracking”
Mark tried to motivate himself but was distracted by the commotion in the front hall.

A female student looked lost as she dashed into the examination hall and started to apologize to the invigilator. She was stopped but managed to convince them for letting her in.

Mark stole a look at her as she enters. He had never seen her before.
“Was she in my lecture? How come I never seen her before?”

The girl walked very fast as she tried to find her desk.
Suddenly she stood in front of Mark’s desk.

“Table 27?”
The girl asked as Mark simply stared at her.

“Yeah?”

“Who are you? Why are you sitting at my desk?”
The girl blurted.

“I’m Mark Lee. This is my desk.”
Mark who was caught surprise replied the obvious.

“No way! My name is Jade. I’m suppose to sit here”

Mark shrugged as he pointed to the in-coming invigilator for assistance.

“Wait… what paper is this?”

“It’s Engineering Math… I guess.”
Mark offered her the question paper.

“OH MY GOD!! I’m in the wrong class!!!”
The girl screamed as she dashed out of her class immediately, leaving a strain of tears as she ran along.

The scream freaked Mark out as he tried to convince himself that he had forgotten how to do the remaining Math questions because of her.

As Mark walked out of the examination hall, he saw her sitting in a daze outside the examination hall.

“Are you ok? Managed to find your examination room?”
Mark tried to talk to her.

The girl just covered her face and looked down.

“Don’t take it so hard ok? There’s always sup-paper if we do well for the first time you know.”
Mark began to walk away from her.

“I’m sorry”
The girl finally replied.

“Come again?”
Mark couldn’t hear her the first time.

“I said I’m sorry, for creating such a commotion. I’m so damn! I could only answered three questions for my electronics paper. There wasn’t any time for me to check my last question.”

Mark looked at her while having the thought of giving her a slap for her illogical whining of nonsense.

“You did reasonably well, compared to me… I guess I should be the one worrying now… Hah!”

“So you are Mark right?”
The girl looked at him.

“Yup”

“Nice knowing you. I’m Jade, see you around.”

“Yeah. See you around Jade. Bye”
Mark waved goodbye as she took her bag and headed for different direction.

-------------------------

“When the two of you met for the second time, there was already the feeling of likeness felt within each other. There were plenty of opportunities in knowing each other better with the help from both sides of friends.

Some said it was as if the match made in heavens that both of you meet. It would a waste of heaven’s arrangement if the two of you wasn’t paired up together.

Finally you advanced for her, asking her out for numerous dates of movies and shopping trips. You were amazed by her endurance and ability to pick out the best deal in a mall. She was in turned appreciative of your courage when the two of you watched horror movies together.

As time goes by, feelings developed and bonds strengthened. You chose a good time when you were certain that you were ready for this relationship and she is the one whom you’ll showered your love.

You asked her to be your girlfriend on that night when the two of you were drained by the sudden rain. She said she was feeling cold and you just hugged her to make her feel warm.

“Can I hug you like this forever?”

You didn’t know whether it was the right phrase to use. It just came out from your mouth right before your thought.

All she did was only to smile at you and laid her head on your chest as the rain continued to pour on the bus stop.

The three years that both of you were together was perhaps the best of times in you life so far. You would feel tired after a long day of lectures and tutorials but the sight of her would charge back the cells. You felt happiness through her cute behavior and yet felt comfort when she listens to your complain.

-----------------------------------------

“Dear, why do we have so much to talk about everyday?”
Mark asked as he brushed her hair.

“Because talking to you, is my happiest time of the day.”
Jade replied instantly.

-----------------------------------------

It was a match made in heavens yet with a twist fate signifies the beginning of a broken relationship. Jade was ill not long after celebrating your birthday as she was diagnosed with a cancerous disease.

Jade put up a brave front and fought hard to recover. She kept it all within her family and never let a single word on it throughout the entire relationship.

-----------------------------------------

“Jade was ill? How can this be? She had never appeared sick to me.”
Mark couldn’t believe what the book had written.


“We were always together, except those few days when she told me she had to work part-time.”

As Mark tried to recall his memories, something struck him.

“Dear, why are you so tired nowadays?”
Mark asked Jade as they were lying on the beach at Sentosa.

“I don’t know, maybe school and work is really tough”

“Then you should resign and concentrate on your studies... I think I’m catching up with you on the GPA already”
Mark replied proudly.

“I can’t….”

“Why not? You in need of money?”

“No… nothing… I just have to work for that few days every month.”

“Then are you going with me for the diving course?”
Mark asked eagerly.

“….ok… I guess…”
Jade replied lethargically.

“No way Jade is sick… I don’t believe it.”
Mark wasn’t convinced by the written text. Every single chapter that was written was what happened to him but he just couldn’t believe it and had to carry on reading.

-----------------------------------

Jade was a brave and strong girl. Her therapies and medication wasn’t effective as she had rejected the conventional chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatment because she didn’t want to deteriorate herself in front of you.

Worst of all, Jade didn’t want you to know about her illness.

No matter how mentally strong a person is, her strength will always be tested in the dark lonely nights when you were not there for her. Jade could only cry herself to sleep, fearing that she would never wake up again.
Finally Jade couldn’t take the pressure and sadness from her family anymore.

On the day of your dive, Jade made her final decision.
Her hesitation was overcome by your eagerness.

As both of you sets out in the sea with the diving gears, Jade took her last breath as she had tampered with her own equipment.

Jade drowned herself as the current came.
If she would to die, she would die in her most natural self.

Jade did not die because of your stubbornness nor accident.
She died because of eternal love.
Because she could truly tells you that you are the person she had loved the most in her life.

This is Love, where it begins with nothing but ends with everything.”

------------------------------------------

Mark stopped reading and closed the book in his hands. The crowds in the café began pointing towards his direction as he buried in his own arms and cried.

For all the blame that he had cast upon himself that he killed Jade, there was a hidden truth within the dead.

Jade had not died because of him.
Jade had died for him.

So that all the wonderful memories of their relationships will be eternally locked within his heart.

Mark had tried so hard to fight the tears but he just couldn’t control it. It was the worse moment of his life since the day he saw her body laid within the coffin.

There were still so much that they could talk about. There were still so much things to shop and there were still so much moments of laughter and enjoyment.

Sharon was shocked by Mark’s sudden strike of emotions as she ran towards him.
“What’s wrong? Mark?”

Mark couldn’t reply her as numbness could be felt all over his body.

Sharon didn’t know what to do but to hug him and comfort him as the bystanders watched and pointed.

“Is your friend alright? Is he drunk or something?”
The manager asked Sharon as he came by.

“I don’t know… I don’t think so.”
Sharon nodded her head.

“Why don’t you take time off and send him home?”
She suggested.

Mark then waved his hands to decline the offer.
He gathered all his stuff and walked out of the café.

There were many unnecessary comments made by the café patrons. Mark just ignored them, they might cry with him if he would to tell them his story.

Mark headed for his room as he reached home.
He lay on his bed as the night passed thinking about the memories of Jade.
All is clear now, even though she is gone forever.

Mark took the book and read through it again.

As Mark finished chapter 11, he flipped to the next page.

“Memories are the closest thing to reality that a person can get as he rekindles the lost time. Sometimes things happen so quickly that we can’t react to the consequences, all the remains will only be memories buried deep inside.

Memories are kept inside the heart and not the brain. What your brain remembers are logical lessons that you’ve learned each day, what your heart remembers are the emotional experience that you’ve gathered each day.

The book of love governs one’s love experience and memories.

You can erase any part of your love experience. Simply tore the whole chapter out from the book. All the memories within this chapter will be gone for you and the opposite party. Two of you will live your life without even the least bit of impression.

So if you can erase a love chapter of your life, which would it be? "

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 30

I guess many of us were born into this world due to the love blossom of our parents. They in turn were products of love of their own heritage. All these went back thousands of years since the first of homo-sapiens.

As we live and grow older, we sometimes ask ourselves.
“When do humans actually start loving one another?”

Why do we always feel nervously happy when we see someone we like and dull when we see someone we don’t?

Was all this the work of God or genetic human evolution?

Some believe love was spread by Cupid from ancient Greek mythology
So he was rightfully known as the God of Love and everything that got to do with love was associated with him.

If you believe in Cupid, then I suppose you would believe in Cupid’s arrow that created ‘Love at first sight’ too?

At some point of life we might actually see it happens when we see the one whom we like almost instantly.
Well Cupid’s arrow is not the only thing that is related to love.What if I tell you there’s a book existed in this world that can tell you everything you want to know about love?

Answers that you’ve always yearn of knowing.

The person whom you loved most?
The person that loves you the most?

A book so mysterious, that only few had seen it throughout centuries of time as nobody ever finds it. Tales and legends that come with it often ends up with the book missing after revealing the truth.

Would you want to take a look?

This is the book of love, ‘libro da amore’.

This is where it all begins in your life.

The dust was gone from the book as Mark brought it back to his room.

The words that were written on the cover captivated his imagination. On one hand, Mark was delighted that he wasn’t dreaming or having mental illusion about Psyche.

Now that he had the book, he would be able to prove his senses.

On the other hand, Mark was shivering with fear about the whole incident.

How did Psyche ever get to his blog… leave a few messages then erase them all and now this book?

Mark felt his heart accelerating as he flips open the book in the quiet night.

Behind the hard cover was a page written in calligraphy. The page had turned yellowish and from the looks of it, Mark wasn’t sure of how old is the book already.

‘Libro da Amore’ was written with a heart-shaped logo surrounding it.
There were a few words below.

Mark took a closer look and found them to be English.

‘Book of Love’

“I suppose Libro da Amore stands for book of love…”

As Mark flipped to the next page, a small note dropped off from the book.

Mark grabbed it before it hits the floor.
He hesitated for awhile before he finally studied it.

“Do you know love? I suppose you don’t, until now.

This is the book of love, lost over thousands of years and only a handful of those who were selected had seen it. Those who are not chosen will only see blank pages even if he’s got the book.

Everything you thought you knew will be written over the pages as you read. Do not be surprise by what you read as these are merely the reflection of the memories that had past you and destiny that is waiting.

Are you ready to know love?

I know you are because I am the book of love.

Psyche, Wife of Eros.”

Mark didn’t know what to do next.
Should he flip open the book? He thought for awhile before making a decision.

“Shit… What do I have to lose?”
Mark thought as he flipped through the first chapter.

Chapter 1 – Your First Love Journey.

This is your first experience towards love. Maybe you have forgotten the feeling but you will never forget the memories…

You developed an instant response to her calling when you met her. Her enchanting voice brought endless fun to you but time wasn’t on your side as you had to go home before the sun sets.

When you wait for her at the playground, you didn’t know what love is except the happy feeling that awaits you.

Every time you see her, all your unpleasant day will turn out to be fine. Both of you will play merrily on the playground and often forgets the time.

You didn’t know her full name, where she lives and who her parents were. You only know she would be there every afternoon and you will wait for her every day.

Then one day, she didn’t come to the playground as always.

You waited and waited till the sun sets and took a beating when you reached home.

Your last thought for that night was ‘what had happen to her?’ but you knew there was little that you could do at the age of nine.

You waited at the playground the next day and surprised to see the little girl walking over.

You would always remember that sentence as she speaks.
“My papa is going away; I will leave tomorrow.”

She then asked you to play catching with her right after finishing her sentence. There was a funny feeling deep inside you that instant.

You felt hopeless and weak because there was nothing you could do to ask her stay. You can only play your hearts out that day till night falls when you bid goodbye.

You won’t know when you will see her again and the pain that you felt wasn’t the beating by your parents. It was something deep inside of you, as if a part of you had gone.

You never really know who the young girl was as there was nothing you could do even today as your memories of her had jaded.

All that was, your first experience towards love.”

Mark closed his eyes as he refreshes the memories that had kept within. The book was right, there was such a girl in his life when he was young.

He remembered he was returning home one day when he first met her.
“Want to play catching?” she offered. Mark obliged, even though he knew the boys in the neighborhood will taunt him being a sissy for playing with girls. The rest of the story was written in this book that he was holding.

Mark lay down the book and walked towards the window. The morning sky was covered with thick grey clouds signaling the rainfall.

All this madness was really enough for one to take as Mark continued to stare outside his window.

The rain slowly descend upon the ground, soon it was raining heavily throughout his sight as Mark sighed. He thought he had forgotten all about this as it was happened so many years ago.

Mark went back to the book and kept it inside his bag before preparing himself for work.

-----------------------

As Mark enters the train, there was no sign of Jade.

“Are you working today?” he smsed her.

“Yeah… why not?” He phone vibrated with an incoming message.

“Then are you in the train that had just left Bukit Panjang?”
Mark sends another message.

“Yup…” The reply came.

For the first time after so long, both of them didn’t get to meet.
Was it the rain? Was it the book? Was it something in his mind that made him guessed wrongly?

Mark could only daze at the moving scenery through the windows of the train.

“Have fun at work…”
Mark sent his last message as his train approaches Yishun.

-------------------------------

Mark reached the office early, or maybe Shawn was later than usual. The two of them hardly talked since the day Christine.

“Hey bro, what took you so long?”
Mark greeted Shaun as he entered the office drenched.

Shaun didn’t utter a word but gave a cold stare before he tried to dry himself.

“Oops… Sorry…”
Mark was apologetic over his earlier comments.

“Hey bro, you dry yourself up, I’ll get you a cup of coffee for you to get warm a little?”
Mark went off before Shaun could reply.

When Mark came back with two cups of coffee in his hands, there was no sign of Shaun. He tried to look around and found him inside the boss’s office.

Mark could only left the mug on his table before getting back to work.
His office phone rang and it was his boss who called.

“Hello Mark, let’s have lunch together ok?”
Mr. Lee suggested.

“Boss you treating? You promoted or something. That’s great, who else is going?”

“Nobody… just you and me. I’m going off for a meeting now. See you at that Japanese restaurant at Causeway point.”

--------------------

Mark’s boss was already there when he arrived. He was sitting at the counter of the sushi belt drinking his ocha.

“Hey boss, what’s up?”
Mark sat beside him and made his orders.

“Nothing, just want to give you a treat for your promotion. So, how are things? Coping well with Christine’s project?”

“Yeah… it really tough.. But I will get used to it.”
Mark replied before he devoured his sashimi.

“Mark…. Shaun tendered his resignation today.”

“He did? Wow that’s pretty fast?”
Mark just continued eating his sushi as his boss broke the news.

“Mark, you knew he was going to resign?”
His boss was surprised with the calm reaction.

“I guess so… Although he didn’t tell me anything but I guess this should be an overseas job which he had wanted.”

“Yeah… you know, China is a huge market. I’m quite sure Shaun will do well there. I lost a very good subordinate, now I’m losing another.”

Mr. Lee sighed before he drank his tea.

“China? Shaun is going to China? Not France?”
Mark was caught surprised this time.

“France? Since when you get this idea from? I happened to know Shaun’s future employers and I’m very sure that he is going to China.”

----------------------------

Shaun was his usual self when Mark came back to the office.

“Hey… I heard about you thing. So when’s your last day?”

“Can’t you count the calendar?”
Shaun was ruthless with his reply.

“Why are you going to China… and not France?”
Mark asked.

“I don’t need to reply you.”
Shaun didn’t even bother looking back at him.

“What about Chris?”

“If you like her so much, why don’t you go to France?”
Shaun’s voice raised a little.

“Ok chill.. I’m sorry for asking.”
Mark returned to his table.

The two of them didn’t speak to each other until Shaun left the office early at five thirty.

---------------------------

After work, Mark wondered the streets as he had no idea where to go. He then walked past the café which Sharon works.

“Hey Mark!”
Sharon greeted him as he entered.

“I’ll just have my usual coffee today, don’t feel like eating dinner.”
Mark put the menu away.

“Is something bothering you?”
Sharon tried to lure him in saying.

“It’s nothing… hurry, go do your work.”
Mark sent her away.

As the smell of coffee filled his surroundings, Mark took out the book from his bag. He flipped to the second, then the third. Each page records the love experience that he develops.

The girls that he used to admire in his primary school, the secret one-sided affair of the heart and the events that had taken place.

Mark was really amazed by what he had read. It was like a love journal written about him and his love life. This is really the book of love…

“What are you reading? How come the book is blank?”
Mark suddenly realized Sharon was trying to look at the book.

“It’s nothing.. I was just happened to write on it.”

“Oh… now you decided to keep a hardcopy of your blog… hee hee”
Sharon joked before she went off.

Mark then went back to the page he last set upon.

Chapter 11 – Your First Relationship with Jade

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书



Chapter 29


What do guys know about love? I find it rather funny when female friends asked me this question. In their mind, they always felt that guys don’t know anything about love.

Even if they do know about it but they never seem to be emotional towards anything. I don’t think it’s true. I find guys are as emotional and sentimental as any species of any kind.

Maybe the fact of us being born as male species requires them to be dominant.

Ego, pride, whatever you name it. The feeling does not allow others to recognize them as the weaker kind that falls into wheels of emotion. In a relationship, the role of the male is to protect and possess the female as so to say.

Being protective means you have express yourself as mentally strong and not swayed into temptations. But not all guys are like that. As far as I know there are a couple of them who gets all emotional during a quarrel.

Guys do cry when they are sad. It’s a lie if they tell you they never cry before, for there’s nothing chauvinist for a man to shed his tears but for a fruitful course that is. Adults cried quietly, trying to hide the attention of those weary eyes.

I cried many times in my life, sometimes over silly things, sometimes over a sad movie, sometimes over a failure, sometimes over a relationship. But if you ask me whether I have cried before, my answer would most probably be a straight no in your face. But if you ask me what I know about love.

My answer would surprisingly be a ‘no’ too. All I can only tell you that love is a remarkable experience that only you alone can feel when it hits you.

Everyone’s definition and impression is different and there’s no right or wrong to it. There’s no logic or rational thinking towards love.

There’s only how you feel that leads you.

That’s why people always say “go with your heart” in a relationship.

A relationship is not measurable with any formula or logical explanation. If you like a person, you will really like him/her despite all the bad points that he/she has… and even you yourself won’t believe what decision you have made. When that time comes, you’ll know that you’re in love.

This is Love, all irrational and unbelievably true.



A drop of sweat fell across the face of Mark as he stared at his computer. It was already late at night and he had sent Jade back after dinner.

Mark was still thinking about his blog as he covered his face with his hands.

What happened?
Was it imaginative all along?
Was he suffering from some mental illness?

There was no way that those comments were gone just like that.

“Nobody else will know about my tagboard password… unless someone hacked into my account?”

Internally, Mark felt better with the theory of hacker if not he would have been seen as nuts.

“Oh well…. Whatever…”

Those were his last thoughts as he closed his eyes to sleep.

Time pasts as fast as the calendar was shaded.
Three weeks had passed and Mark hasn’t blogged since. However he would still check his tagboard to see if Psyche would leave a message.

But there weren’t any at all.
Mark & Jade got along more often other that the daily meet up before work. They would go out for her indulging shopping spree and spend time learning to cook soup from his mum.

They would still play their little game of ‘fate’.

Jade would not tell Mark which part of the train she was and Mark had to guess it. It’s most unusual that throughout the few weeks, Mark would get it correct every time.

Even though Mark doesn’t really believe it, maybe ‘fate’ really existed after all.

The atmosphere in the office however was as dead as a graveyard. Shaun was no longer himself as he would sulk at his desk all day. Mark didn’t know any reason except maybe Shaun was unhappy with his promotion.

Christine would always be there at eight-thirty and be home by six. Other than the usual conversations over work, she hasn’t talked much since.

“Hey guys, let’s go for lunch.”
Mr. Lee broke the office serenity.

“Boss, what for?”
Mark raised the issue.

“Oh… you guys forgotten? It’s Christine’s last day today.”

“Oh yeah…but I’m meeting some clients for lunch later. I gotta call them to cancel the meeting.”
Mark responded while trying to look for their name cards.

“It’s ok Mark, work is more important...”
Christine replied while looking at Shaun & Mr. Lee.

“So where are we going?”
She continued.

“Well… I’ve booked a table in a restaurant down town. The whole local sales team is joining us too. Francis personally wanted that because he felt you’ve done a great job during your stay here.”
Mr. Lee replied.

The four of them left the building but Mark was heading another direction.

“How did I forget about it?”
Mark scrutinized his low memory brain as he drove off.

It was already three when Mark returned from his lunch meeting. He saw Christine doing the final packing of her files.

Mark walked up and tried to strike a conversation.

“So… how’s lunch?”

“Lunch’s not bad… The restaurant really lived up to its fame.”
Christine replied without even looking at him.

“Oh…it’s a pity.”

“So how’s the meeting?”
Christine asked back.

“Oh… everything went smoothly. They were please with our proposal for the rework and I will bring two engineers down to their factory next month.”

“Oh… that’s really great.”

Suddenly the conversation had become so formal. Mark knew the topic had ended and he had to think about another topic fast.

“Ehh… so where’s Shaun? Didn’t see him since I came back.”

“Shaun? He’s on half-day leave today.”

“No again? Oh man He had been taking lots of leave and mc lately.”

“You better take care of him then, talk to you later I have to go and sign off my clearance.”
Christine left her table and walked out.

Mark then went back to his desk and looked at the small wrapped package that he had in his hand.


Christine had gone to human resource for her exit interview and a brief meeting with the sales and finances team. She was back in office just before six.

“Yeah… the timing is just right.”
Christine thought to herself as she walked towards her desk to pick up her files.

“Chris…”
Mark called out.

“Yeah?”
Christine turned back.

“I wanted to give you this…”
Mark took the present from his desk.

“For?”

“Well… it’s your last day and I… just want to thank you. Over the years, you’ve helped me a lot. I’m grateful to have a colleague and friend like you.”

Christine took the present from Mark.

“Thanks…. Mark…”

“So when are you flying off?”

“Tomorrow, morning flight at eight.”
Christine tried to divert her attention elsewhere.

“Wah! Why so fast? Didn’t you have to report to their main office here first?”
Mark was shocked by her reply.

“The Vice President is going back to the French HQ tomorrow and he asked me to join him in the flight.”

“Oh… guess I don’t even have the chance to treat you a nice dinner…”
Mark mumbled to himself.


“Yeah… I’ll be at home with my parents.”

“Ok… next time when I go France for tour, you must be my tour guide!”
Mark suggested.

“Sure…”
Christine tried to clear her throat.

“All the best in your life and career! Don’t forget me arh! When you reached there must stay in contact through msn.”

Mark wished her.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

Both their eyes met finally.

“Please take care of yourself…ok?”

“I will… Chris….”

Christine then dashed out of the office as she could not hold back her tears any longer. Her emotions had overtaken her rational behavior as she sniveled her way out to the car park.

Christine stayed in her car and cried her hearts out with her head resting on the steering wheel. She had never felt so hurt in her life and she was crying so hard that she finds it difficult to breath at times.

What was she crying? Who was she crying for? Was she crying for herself or somebody else?

Christine didn’t know for sure. It seems like leaving a person was bad enough, the fact that she won’t know when the next time she would see him again wrecked her heart.

In the end, she still couldn’t pluck up her courage to tell him. To tell the person whom she had sleepless nights over. To tell him that she liked him all along and how much it means to her that he would ask her to stay.


“Maybe we’re fated after all…”

Christine composed herself as the tears began to dry. She then started the engine and drove off.

---------------------

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
Jade looked at Mark as he didn’t eat his share of dinner.

“Oh… nothing. Just that today was the last day of a much closed colleague.”

“So…? You can always meet up for dinner.”
Jade said while she stirred her soup.

“She’s leaving for France tomorrow. I guess she’s going to stay there for good.”
Mark too started stirring.

“Orrrh!!! A female colleague!! I think you are in love with her. That’s why you can’t bear for her to leave.”
Jade teased him.

“Don’t be crazy lah. People already got boyfriend, moreover her boyfriend is my buddy at work.”

“If she’s single… would you date her?”
Jade asked in a spike of moment.

“If I date her, then I won’t date you already.”
Mark teased Jade back.

“Wah…. It’s because she’s attached then you asked me out… You heartless creep!!”
Jade complained.

“All the explanation will only get more complicated!”
Mark sighed.

As both of them continued to have their dinner, a moment of thought did came across Mark’s mind.

“What will happen if Christine was single? What would I do?”

“Crazy thought!”
Mark told himself as he looked at Jade smiling at him.

---------------------

It was seven-thirty in the morning when Mark opened his eyes and looked at the clock.

“She must be in the plane now.”
Mark thought to himself as he got up.

“Êtes-vous Mlle bien Christine?”

Christine was looking at the window when the Vice president asked whether she was alright.

“Yeah, Je suis bien”
Christine replied that she was fine.

As Christine tried to look for her lip palm, she felt a box-shaped object within her handbag. It was the present that Mark gave her yesterday.

Christine looked at the present for awhile before she slowly tore the wrapping paper.

----------------------
“Ah boy…”

“Yeah mum?”

“You came back late yesterday. There’s a parcel delivered to our house yesterday. It’s in the kitchen.”

Mark scratches his head as he heads for the kitchen.

The parcel had no return address except the fact that it was sent out from Italy and attention to Mark Lee with his current address.

“Funny… I don’t remember having any clients from Italy.”
Mark brought the parcel to the living room and began tearing the wrapping.

-------------------------

Christine stared at the present in her hands. She had thought her tears had dry up but it didn’t.

A tear flowed down her cheek… then another….

The tears fell onto the box with a pen inside.
It was the pen which Christine secretly gave to Mark when they were in China, except this was the female edition.

“It’s the same pen….”

As the plane took off its wings, Christine covered her mouth for she didn’t know what to say.

------------------------

A hard covered book showed itself as Mark finished tearing the parcel. The book was very thick and looked very old and dusty.

As Mark cleared away the dust, wordings appeared.

“Libro da Amore…”

As he cleared the lower portion of the cover, more words appeared.

Do you know love?

Psyche…


[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书



Chapter 28


During a relationship, there will be times when both of you had a really bad argument. It could be that she had done something really bad that hurt you bitterly or it could be something that he had done that brought out all the sorrows in you.

Then how far would you go to forgive a person?

It’s strange that many people claimed that they would do almost anything for the ones they loved.

But when it comes to forgiving someone, these people would be the first to omit from their list of ‘everything that I’m willing to do’.

I ever heard a story about a guy and his fiancée.

They knew each other for many years since secondary school. As a couple, they went through many ups and downs. Every time they would compensate each other’s mistake and forgive each other no matter what.

Time passed and soon both before finally decided to settle down and start a family. So wedding plans were made and they even bought a house and finished renovation.

As both their parents were rather traditional, both of them were not supposed to see each other on the night before their customary marriage.

The guy didn’t have any pre-wedding last bachelor’s night program so he decided to go to their new house.

When he reached, the first thing he realized were the two pairs of shoes left on the doorstep. One was distinctively his fiancée’s; the other was a pair of male sports shoe.

As he opened the door, he heard laughter coming out from the master bedroom. As much as the guy tried to be self-deceiving, he opened the doorknob to prove himself wrong.

The sight was disbelieving.


The guy stood at the front of his master bedroom and saw his wife to be and another man merrily enjoying on their bed. The stranger saw him and got dress almost instantly while the woman just froze at the sight.

The guy then closed the door and sat in the living room while both got changed and the man left the premises promptly.

His fiancée sat beside him and ask for his forgiveness.

That guy didn’t beat her, slap her or even scolded her.
He only asked her whether she loves him.
His fiancée could only nod while in tears.

“Then be my good wife from tomorrow on…”

He kissed her forehead and left the house.

Both of them got married as per plan the day after. Anyone who came to their wedding labeled them as the most matches made couple that they have ever come across.

The groom was handsome and successful in his career and the bride was pretty and very gentle. It was sounded as if a match made in heaven.

The guy didn’t talked anything regarding the incident ever since.

Then…

They got separated half a year after their blissful marriage.

Not because of the girl who strayed again but the guilt that left inside her on the day before their marriage kept haunting her since.

After 3 years of separation, they finally served their divorce letters.
Before the girl signed on the letter, she asked him.

“Why didn’t you scold me…? Why didn’t you beat me? I did something wrongful to you… You know how much guilt you’ve left in me?”

The guy only looked at her and smiles.

“Because I love you… therefore I will forgive you.”
Tell this story to a guy and most probably he will label the groom as the stupidest person on earth.

Tell this story to a girl and most probably she will protest that guys are often the easier sex to stray than girls.

I don’t know that was a script from the drama series or a true-life account but it was told to me by a good friend who apparently knew the bride.

I ever asked myself what I would do if I were that guy.

Will I forgive?

I might… but I’ll never forget… and I would never want to see both of them again. That was the same answer that came from my wife when I told her this story.

When you can’t forgive someone you love, it doesn’t mean you don’t love the person deep enough. It’s only the threshold that different people can take when the situation comes.

So how much can you forgive?

Even if you can forgive but can you forget?

----------



“YES... I want to know. So can you tell me?”
Mark type furiously on his keyboard.

“You will know the answer very soon but do you dare to know the answer?”
Psyche countered him.

“Why not?”

“Very well… we will meet soon.”

“What do you mean???”

Mark knew the conversation has ended like before. He got up and went to bed straight.

Morning came and Mark was on his way to work.

As the morning train was as pack as always, the group of commuters on board squeezed Mark around. He felt someone knocking on his back a few times when the train was moving.

“What the…F...”
Mark’s irritation got over him.

“Hi Mark?”
Jade smiled at him, she was being squeezed and knocked onto him while trying to shield herself.

“Hey… how come I didn’t know you were behind me all along?”

“I did call you but you didn’t response. You looked distracted, are you ok?”

“I’m just tired... I suppose I didn’t have a good rest last night.”

“Hey what happened to you last few days? Didn’t saw you on the train.”

“Oh... Ehh... my colleague sent me to work during the last 2 days...”
Mark didn’t have a clue why he had to lie on that.

“You are really busy with your work huh?”
Jade winked at him.

“Of course… A man’s top priority is his career isn’t it?”
Mark winked back.

The train stopped at the station where Mark was alighting. Before he got down, Jade asked softly.

“Mark... Saturday still on?”

“I’ll call you ok?”
Mark reply as he alighted from the train and showed the ‘calling’ signage to Jade as the train moves.

“Hi all.”
Mark greeted both Shaun and Christine who only smile back.

The atmosphere in the office was no longer as lively as before. The three of them hardly struck a conversation. Everyone was engrossed in his or her work.

Even lunchtime was no different, Shaun would join his finance buddies and he didn’t even know where Christine was during lunch.

Shaun was getting moody all day long and Christine was the same came and left on the dot, not a single minute more or less.

Mark was busy taking over Christine’s project and has to hold meetings with the in house Engineers as well as external customers and contractors.
Everyone seems to focus only on his or her respective direction.

“Bye all”
Mark looked around before realizing he was the only person left in the office.

As Mark strolled along the route home, he took out his mobile phone and dialed Jade’s number. Even though they knew each other for awhile now, it was his first time calling.

“Hi…?”

Mark made the first interaction.

“Yeah Mark?”

“Oh… you know it was me...”

“Why not? I’ve got your numbers all along.”

“Oh… you didn’t delete them… Anyway I just called to ask you whether you are free this Sat.”

“Of course! I always wanted to learn how to cook the soup.”


Jade could be heard giggling over the receiver.

“Hey Jade... there’s something I need to confirm about.”

“Yeah?”

“Those soups you drank are actually cooked by my mum. I don’t really know how to cook actually… Sorry to disappoint you.”

There was no immediate response from Jade.

“Jade you still there?”

“Yeah of course… Don’t worry, I’m not angry or anything. So your mum willing to teach me?”

There was a sense of relieve over Mark as he heard the reply.

“I don’t see any problem in that, I will go buy the ingredients tomorrow.”

“Let’s get it together instead?”
Jade offered.

“Certainly, that would be great cos I’m never good in my groceries”

“So I’ll see you at Westmall? I’ll be driving tomorrow.”
Mark suggested.

“Ok, see you at nine. If you are late, you would have to treat me breakfast!”
Jade giggled over the phone again.

Mark hung up the phone and walked out to the living room.

“Ma…”
His mother was watching some Hong Kong drama.

“Yeah?”
She turned at looked at him.

“My friend wants to learn how to cook soup from you. She will be coming over tomorrow morning. Is that alright with you?”


Mark’s mother thought for a moment.

“But I’ve got mahjong session tomorrow!”
She frowned.

Mark’s face turned sour as he was about to go back to his room.

“But of course… Mahjong can play anytime…”

Those words added sweetness to dilute the sourness in his face.

“Thanks ma...”

“Is your friend that Sharon?”

“Nope… her name is Jade, the one who was hospitalized that time.”

“Jade?... Hmmmmm..”
Mark’s mother wondered for a moment before she turned her attention back to the television.

Mark slept well that night. He had a dream of his childhood where he used to follow his mother to the market.

Mark’s mother would hold his hand and teach him how to differentiate and select a fresh fish from the rest. She would also teach him the names of various vegetables as all looked the same to him.

It was something he missed…

-------------

It was 8.47am and Mark was already waiting in front of the supermarket at westmall.
Mark waited patiently as he strolls around the shops at the basement which was not even opened.

Half an hour had passed and there was still no sign of Jade. Mark decided to call her.

“Jade?”


“Yeah?”

“Err… we’re suppose to meet today right?”

“Oh is it??? Gosh! I’ve overslept!!!”

“Ohhhh… it’s ok then…”
Mark’s heart sank.

“Fool you!!! Hahahahaha I’m standing right in front of you.”

Mark looked around but didn’t see her in sight.

“Look further lah… I’m at bakery shop.”

Mark finally found her and walked towards her.

“Hey… you sure got me man!”

“Yeah… I know, you reached here at 8.47am right?”

“How do you know??”
Mark was very surprised by her reply.

“Heee heee… Don’t tell you. Let’s go for our breakfast first? I’ll treat since I’m late.”
Jade offered.

“Oh well…”
Mark agreed as they moved along to have their breakfast.

Both of them went back to the supermarket and Mark pushed a trolley from the entrance.

They strolled through the entire supermarket. Discussing on the soup which Jade wanted to learn and buying the ingredients that she wanted.

The feeling was special as they browse through the dairies and groceries. Mark was trying to convince Jade which fish is fresh from the little experience he had gathered.

Jade was obviously the better one in terms of shopping though. Mark simply gave up after awhile and just agreed in whatever Jade had told him.

“Can you don’t sound like my mother?”
Mark protested when Jade tried to convince him that carrots are good for blood circulation.

“If I’m your mother then you will be a healthy boy!”

Jade tried to knock him with the carrot in her hand.

The hour of shopping came to an end when Jade reminded him of the time.

-------------------

“Hello Auntie…”
Jade greeted Mark’s mother as she opens the door.

“Hi… so you are Jade. Come in..”
She ushered them in.

“Sit, sit… Mark, go get people some drinks.”
She ordered as both of them seated on the sofa.

“So Jade… are you getting better?”

“Yeah I guess so…”

“So what operation did you undergo? Is it serious?”

Jade was getting awkward when Mark answered his mother.

“Ma.. why you so kaypo? Anyway it’s just a small operation.”

“Oh… ok..”

“Oh…Auntie… I want to learn the fish soup you cooked for me the other time.. It’s really great!”

“Ok… I see you’ve bought the ingredients too.. Come let’s go to the kitchen.”


Mark stayed in the living room as both of them went to the kitchen. He dozed off as the cool wind blew at him from the fan.

“Wei.... wei.. wake up…”
Jade tried to tickle him.

“Oh… I fell asleep…”
Mark rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah… my soup is brewing at the moment.. Have to wait one more hours. Got anything nice to show me?”

“Hmmmmm… come I show you my blog?”

Mark explained the whole story of his blog while he switches on his computer. How he started it and all the entries that he entered. He also told her about how Sharon and her comments in his blog that led him to save her.

“The most exciting thing about my blog is this user named ‘Psyche’ I reckon it’s a she but I’ve never met her before. She always tagged questions that only my deepest heart knew. She is someone who knows a great deal about love. A very mysterious person, someone whom I really loved to meet..”

“Is there such a person? Wow….”
Jade was getting excited.

Mark then clicked on his blog website.

“You read through first, her questions always post on my tagboard. I need to go toilet.”
”Ok..”

When Mark came back, he found Jade staring at him with her arms folded.

“Yeah?”

“What Psyche you talking about? There’s no such person in your blog. Idiot.. I got fooled.”

“Huh?”

Mark then browsed through his blog and got the fright of his life.

True enough, Jade was right.

There wasn’t a single entry by Psyche.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 27

Everyone’s definition of first love is different from another.

Some believed that the first person they ever liked is their first love, some believed that the first relationship they’ve ever be in will be their first love. I believed the first.

I saw the girl I first liked not long ago.

A friend and I were having supper and she was sitting right opposite us. Ironically, if not for the additional chair that she was looking for, I doubt we would never have the chance to greet each other.

I took a hard look at her and was taken aback from the large bulge that she was carrying. She was going to be a mother in a few months time and currently working in an American bank as a director. We greeted and exchange a few words before joining our own friends for supper.

That night as I lay down on my bed, I thought about the past memories I had with her.

I know her in 1991 or in my first year as a secondary student. She was someone who loves to chat and always game on to any challenge that we suggested.
I liked her the first time I saw her. Those feelings added as I knew her more. She was just someone whom I can tell everything to. My family problems, my incapability to cope with my studies and even what I like or disliked.

She was one of the more popular girls in my school whereas I was one of the guys which people barely knew my existence. Even if they do, it was more like a joke to them as I was constantly being teased for my extra large sized.

The fact that I really admire about her is her frankness and not despising me as much as other girls in school.

When I know she had a crush on one of my guy friends, my heart sank.
"Why did she tell me?”
I reckoned that she needed more information about my friend. I ended up match-making them to record their first relationship.

My heart broke into pieces every time I see them behaving intimately in school or during our outings. I was always her confider when both of them quarreled over the slightest things.

Then one day, after a year of their relationship they had a major quarrel. My own friends told me to stop inferring into other’s relationship. When she called me that day, I didn’t told her much... except this sentence

“Does he worth all your tears every time you quarrel? Do you love him that much?”

She broke off with him after our conversation that day.
I was there for her thereafter, for all the depression that she had to go through, I went through with her.

Finally, I told her I liked her. It was the first time in my entire life that I told someone that I liked her.

It was in 1992.

She took it as a joke at first but finally she was convinced that I was serious.

“You are someone very special to me… but I never thought of you as someone whom I would start a relationship... Thanks for the company… I’m really grateful to have a friend like you…”

I knew the answer all along but it didn’t come from her until that day. The immediate feeling was shock instead of sadness. Disbelieving and denial but slowly reality sinks in.

We talked a lot less after that day and spend the next two years of secondary school days and thereafter as mere acquaintance. She had another painful relationship thereafter.

I didn’t get to see her after we split our ways right after our final year.
I only sort news about her from the people that went on to the same junior college with her. This was perhaps the only time I had a good look at her after all these years.

As I sleep, I felt a tear gently flowed down my cheek.
It wasn’t a tear of sadness or grief but a tear of joy.
I was really glad to see her again that night, not that I still like her in any way.
She will remain a special part in my life as memories of young and innocent courtship.

This is Love, at its very first beginning.

Mark lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The question that Psyche asked planted a spear through his heart. He couldn’t reply to the tag as he was never asked that kind of question in his life.

“The person who loves me the most and the person I love the most?”

Mark had never been in this kind of scenario before and he hoped that he will never have to reach that situation either.

To be with the person who loves you the most appears to be more practical, she would be someone who totally lives for him, take care of him and listens to whatever he suggested.

But why be with someone whom you don’t love the most?
Isn’t it ironic?

To be with the person who you love the most is more realistic, it’s the part when you go after her that produced the best of memories. You would do silly things just to make her laugh and put everything aside because she is the most important person to you.

“Argh!! Why do I have to think about all these? I don’t have anyone whom I love or love me… Stupid me!”

Mark gave up and knocked himself out as midnight past.

------------------------

“Ah boy… you are not working today? Thought your mc only lasted yesterday?”
Mark’s mother yelled from the living room as the clock approaches 8am.


“OH shit!!”
Mark suddenly jumped up from his bed.

He took a look at the alarm clock… he didn’t set it last night.
Mark dragged himself out of bed.

Knowing he was late didn’t speed his movement though. Mark knew he had missed the train, the same train which Jade will be religiously on every morning. That thought alone dampened his whole morning as he washed himself and got ready for work.

Mark reached office right before ten.

“Bro… you ok?”
Shaun looked up as Mark sat down noticing his computer was switched on.

“Bro, I switched on for you… so that boss won’t think you are late.”

“Thanks man…”
Mark didn’t speak a word anymore as he concentrated on his forgone tasks and emails right into lunch.

“Bro, where do you wanna go for lunch?”
Shaun came back to the office after some errands.

“It’s ok, I will settle by myself.”
Mark was too engrossed with his reports.

“Ok man… then I will go with Roger and Oliver from finances department. Give me a ring if you need anything ok?”

“Sure… enjoy your lunch”

“What is the Model of that machine we send to our Hong Kong distributors? Oh man… what was it?? Shaun you got any idea?”

Mark talked to himself as he was replying to an email enquiry.

“It was GEX-1107 wire bonding machine, we have send them 20 from last week.”

Mark turned back, it was Christine who replied.

“Hey... Thanks Chris.”

Christine sent a weak smile back at him.

“So… didn’t go lunch with Shaun?”
Mark asked as he laid back on his backrest.

“Huh? Thought that should be my question?”
Christine replied.

“Hmmrp! Guess they want to be low profile in office. Couples always behaved like they barely know each other in office…”

Mark wondered in his mind as he stood up and stretched himself.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Wassup?”

“That girl that was with you… the one whom you tried to save…”

“You mean Sharon?”

“Yeah… is she your girlfriend?”

Mark broke into laughter before Christine could finish her question.

“Of course not! My god… how old is she only? Besides, Shaun might kill me if it’s true.”

“Shaun? What does it got to do with him?”
Christine was confused.

“Shaun is her half-cousin or whatever they call themselves. Anyway they lived only next door… You mean you’ve never met Sharon before?”

Christine shook her head.


“Oh… You’ll see her more often in future.”
Mark replied as he walked out of the office to seek lunch.

The second half of the day was past rather quick with a series of meetings and projects discussion and report submission.

“Bye all…”
Christine was surprising the first one to leave.

“Bro, what are you waiting for?”
Mark hinted at Shaun.

“What? What?”
Shaun was still writing his last input for the email reply.

“Christine had left”

“So?”

“What so? Don’t you guys go on dates on something?”

“Oh yeah… can you stop being a busybody while we are trying to be low profile here? We already fixed a place for dinner.”

Shaun got up and started packing.

“Seeya bro”

“Bye Shaun”

Mark decided to stay for awhile longer. His concentration was disturbed by a phone call from his boss.

“Mark, can you come to my office now please?”

--------------

“Yes? Mr. Lee”
Mark greeted him as he entered.

“Take a seat please”
His boss replied politely.

“Mark, how’s things? You ok now?”

“Yeah… thanks boss for the concern.”

“Right… I’ll go into our main topic of discussion for today.”
Mr. Lee paused for a moment.

“Mark, I have seen a lot of improvement from you since the day you’ve joined us. I think you are ready to face a greater challenge.”

Before Mark could digest his words.

“I will push for your promotion by next month.”

Mark couldn’t believe what he had heard.
Promotion.
It was something which he didn’t thought of.

“Thanks boss… I will surely do my best.”

“Ok.. I’m glad to hear that. You’ll have to take over all the projects under Christine from tomorrow onwards.”

“Why? Christine got promoted too?”

“No… Christine had tendered her resignation. She will serve a month’s notice before joining her new employers.”

“What!!! Christine resigned???”

“Apparently it’s her former employers. They will be sending her to France for a 2 year contract with the option to extend her contract. Heard that the offer was something she couldn’t refuse so I wished her the best.”

“Boss.. Why didn’t you stop her?”
Mr. Lee was astonished by Mark’s sudden reaction.

“I tried to convince her and offer her a pay adjustment and a possible promotion next year but Christine was so determined in taking up the offer. Initially she wanted to buy out her one month notice here but after much persuasion she obliged.”

Mark didn’t make a sound.

“Mark… Christine highly recommends you to take over her projects as she believes you are more suitable with your capability.”

Mark left the office with a lot of question over his head.

“Why did she make this decision now? When Shaun and she is an item now? Why she didn’t mention to anyone before? Why did Shaun doesn’t seem bothered?”

In the mist of all questions that he had, there was one question which was even disbelieving in Mark’s head.

“Why am I so bothered over her resignation?”

As Mark reached home, he took out his mobile phone and called Shaun.

“Shaun”

“Yes bro?”

“Are you with Christine now?”

“Ehhh… nope I just send her back after dinner.”

“You knew it already?”

“What?”

“Chris resigned, she’s going to France”

“Yeah I know… We made the decision together. She would go there first because she got a good offer now. Then I will keep a look out for opportunities to go there as well. We will eventually stay there if we can.”

It is often said that when you starts to tell a lie, you would tell another to cover it and another to cover both…

“Oh… ok… looks like both of you already have plans”


“Yeah.. That’s why she hugged me and cried at Clark Quay. She couldn’t bear to leave me. I’m sad too you know..”

Shaun’s voice sounded hoarse.

“Its ok man… you just step up the search..”
Mark consoled his friend before he hung up.

Mark tossed and turned on his bed that night.
It was a feeling that he could not make out of.

Why did he feel so miserable in knowing Christine’s resignation?
And worse when he knew that she was going to France and might never return?

----------------

Morning came and Mark had missed the same train timing with Jade again. But he was less disappointed than yesterday as he took his time to get prepare for work.

“Morning Mark…”
Christine greeted him as he reached office.

“Hi Chris… Where’s Shaun?”
Mark pointed to the empty chair of his colleague.

“He’s on mc today. Man! The two of you keep taking turns to fall sick. Who’s going to hold up the team when I’m gone?”

Christine joked.

“Chris…”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you have to resign?”

“Why not?”
Christine shrugged.

“Well… you see.. We’ve form up such a formidable team in the three of us. Our achievements are been recognized even by HQ. Isn’t it a shame that you have to leave now?”

“Mark… will you leave if you were given a 40% increment with overseas allowance which is half your basic now? Monetary aside, I’m going there as career advancement too with a managerial post. Tell me you won’t leave?”

Mark was completely speechless with the question.

“What about your family and friends? I mean your dad actually allows you to go considered he’s quite a protective guy?”

“Yup… my family will join me there..”

“What about… Sh…uan”

Christine’s attention was suddenly caught when her mobile phone rang. She got back to her desk and started browsing through the package with her mobile on.

Mark just stood there and looked at her for a minute.

“Oh well… Guess they already planned it out.”

The day ended with both of them didn’t share a word with each other. Christine left on the dot and Mark was busy trying to cope with Christine’s project interfacing.

Mark reached home early that night.
As he sat down on a quiet night, he stared at his computer screen on the question that Psyche had asked.

“How can I choose when I don’t even know who is the person I liked most or the person who liked me the most?”

The immediate reply that came did not frighten him as much as before.

Psyche is a patient person and would wait for him to reply before entering another tag.

“What if you can know? Would you want to know?”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 26

“What would you do for the person you love?”
Ask anyone this question and they would reply you with the most passionate answers from the textbook.

Some will declare that they will go through sufferings of any kind just to make the person he loves happy.
Some will declare that they will be willing to do anything for her.
The extreme ones might even declare that they will die for love.

But would you totally accept the person in the first place?

Can you accept how he/she looked like before and after?
Can you accept the fact that he/she has a few relationships before you?
Can you accept all the bad habits that he/she showed as you got together longer?

I’ll bet you that despite how much we claim to be possible, there’s a percentage deep down that would think otherwise. But I ever came to know a friend whom accepted everything about his then girlfriend.

Never mind the fact that he was rather good looking but she, on the other hand was really far behind and was twice his size.
Never mind that she was easily depressed and even to the stage of suicidal.
Never mind that her ex-boyfriend was in fact a very close friend of his.
Never mind that all of us had tried to convince him that this relationship won’t work out.

He only told me three words that day before we lose contact, “I love her.”

And so they went on to get married not long later, while this person totally severs ties with the whole group of us. I believe maybe it was because we didn’t accept her as much as he does.

Till this day, they are still blissfully married to each other. Deep down I sincerely wish them the very best because I’ve witness the true meaning of acceptance.

He liked her for who she was and not who she will become.

The other person would be my wife, who accepted me as her fat, ugly and penniless husband. No logical explanation could be sorted by her behavior

This is Love, this is the ability to accept whatever your partner may be or become.

“It’s ok…. Oh hi…. Mark…”

The voice caught Mark’s attention as he lay down the book he was reading and turned back.

“Oh my god! I think that voice, its Jade?”

Mark turned to his back with the widest smile he could put on as he greeted.

“Hi! What a pleasant surprise~”

“Hi! Young man… how can I help you?”
A middle-age auntie lowered her spectacles and returns the smile.

Mark’s face froze at that instance as his eye sight tried to search for the source of the voice.

“Here lah…”

Jade had sneaked to the other end.

“Jade? Eh….Wow… such a coincidence”
Mark let go of the book before grabbing it back before it fell to the floor.

“You read Mitch albom too?”
Jade asked as she waved to him the book, “Five people you meet in heaven” by the same author.

“Yeah this is his second… I’m holding to his latest! ~”
Mark waved his book back at her.

“Really? Then maybe I should get this one too?”

Jade pondered for a moment as she grabbed another book ‘Tuesday with Morris’ from the shelves.

“Yeah… anyway since I’m buying his 3rd book. You can always borrow from me if you need to read it. Trust me... both of them are good.”
Mark put on his best salesmanship.

“Ok… then I’ll buy these two books…”
Jade finally decided.

“Great!.. Oh by the way, why are you here?”

“Well… I always had lunch around here.. Why can’t I, not be here?”

“Then what about you? Visiting a client somewhere?”

“Nope.. I’m medical leave today… just want to get a book to read. I like it here… at MPH so I’ll come here if I have the time.”

Both of them discussed as they walked to the cashier.

“I always thought the Old MPH building was better.”
Jade replied.

“You frequent there too?”
Mark tried not to get too excited.

“Why not? I mean it’s the most happening places during our secondary school fays isn’t it? I always went with my girlfriends after school.”

“Oh… so you going back to office after this?”
Mark started another topic for discussion, hopefully the conversation will last longer than he think.

“Nope.. My boss gave me half day off today.”
Jade replied as her books were being scanned by the cashier before she paid them.

“Oh…so after this, you wanna go for a coffee or something?”
Mark finally said something practical.

“Well.. I suppose it’s possible… since I’ve no visual plans yet.”


Jade replied as she collected her books while Mark was the next in line.

“Wait a minute… shouldn’t you be resting since you are on medical leave?”

“Oh… doctor ordered me to come out to breathe some fresh air… and relax awhile…”

“Orr!! You fake illness huh?”

“I didn’t… I was discharged from hospital yesterday.”

Mark replied as he was paying for the book.

“Anything serious happened to you? I certainty hope not”
Jade visually checked out his entire body.

“Let’s talk about it when we find a good place to chat.”
Mark suggested as they left MPH.

“Let’s head towards Suntec?”

The two of them then set path to walk towards their designated location. During the journey, Mark had to stop for Jade who was pretty much obsessed with the retail stores along the way.

“Hey, do I look nice in that?”
Before Mark could reply, Jade was already inside the boutique to try on the pair of heels.

Mark can only nodded his head.
“Yup… it looked nice”

“How nice do I look?”

“Very…”

“Very is like how nice? Does the shoe made me looked nice or I looked nice wearing this shoe?”

Jade looked at Mark confused.


Mark suddenly remembered why he used to hate shopping trips. All the try outs will always be debated over “How nice” and things can get worse when he comments something nice.

His comments will be like a life-time warranty. One day when the shoe finally doesn’t look nice anymore, he would be the one who gets the blame because he was the one who said nice in the first place.

The supposed 15 minutes walk from Citylink to Suntec ended closer to an hour’s trip with Jade buying 2 pairs of shoes, a bag, a set of blouse, a pair of earrings, and a necklace.

Time spent was not on the purchase but the countless trying of almost the entire boutique just to convince her that it was the best pair that fitted her.

Shopping is not just about buying alone but it’s more to convincing yourself that you got to have that item no matter what.

Mark let out a sigh and a smile at the same time as he refreshed his memories.

“What are you smiling at?”
Jade caught him.

“Oh… nothing… it’s just some passing thoughts.”
Mark smiled as they reach the café at Suntec.

-------------

As both of them relaxed themselves over the freshly brewed coffee and tea, Mark began telling Jade the story about his Shanghai trip, then about Sharon’s case and the relationship between Shaun & Christine.

Mark found a new friend, a new soul mate and new confider in Jade even though they had barely known each other.
She was someone that Mark could say everything out without any holdback. Then he realized he may have talked too much.

“Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”

“Me? What do you want to know about?”

“Anything? Everything?”

“Oh well… I don’t know how to begin… but here goes”

Jade began telling him her life when she was young and about primary school. About the uniform groups she had tried to join but gave up because she thought it’s too tough.

Jade also told him about her hobbies that she developed over the years and significant events that happened in her life. She was thirteen at that time and was nearly killed in an accident.

“Don saved me that time… I lived because of him and his right leg was not fully healed since. It was all because of me.”

The lively atmosphere had dulled as Jade paused when she mention about Don.

“It’s ok if you don’t wish to continue.”

“No it’s alright. I guess I have to face it sooner or later..”

Jade continued her story, restarted from the day she met Don on the first day of school to how they go to school together everyday. To the day of the accident and how Don had saved her and got injured in his right leg ever since.

“Jade.. what happened to Don? Why all the sudden broke off”

“I’m not sure too.. We even planned for marriage in 2009… then Don tried to avoid me many times. It was one night that I found out he had known another girl… and he asked for broke off..”

Jade tried hard to hold back her tears.

“Then I realized I was pregnant after the broke off… so I asked to see him one night and broke the news. I told him that fate had wanted us to be together… but he didn’t want to believe… and the rest of the story you already know.”

Jade’s battle had lost as her tears dripped over the wet patches on her blouse.

“It’s ok Jade.. it’s already over. I’m very glad you can face it.”

Mark took out a tissue and offered her.

“Don’t worry.. I already gave up on him..”

Mark looked at his watch, it was closed to six.

“Shall we go for dinner? I guess you must be hungry after crying so much…”

“Can you don’t tease me? I’m a girl ok? I’m licensed to be emo.”

“Yeah yeah yeah… girls only know how to cry but every time forgets to bring tissues.”

“It’s a guy’s job to do that! Give you back loh”
Jade threw her used tissue on Mark.

-------------

They had their dinner over a Japanese restaurant at the basement of Suntec.

“Jade… can I ask you a question?”
Mark asked while they were waiting for their orders.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Errr… you know when you asked me to take your passport. I saw something in the drawer, in fact it was a photo of me I supposed..”

“Oh… you saw that? I’m so embarrassed.”
Jade used her menu to cover her.

“What was it all about?”

“I accidentally took your picture when I tried using my new headphone. I didn’t realize it until I send my memory card to develop pictures we took in a company event. So it came back with this picture..”

The mystery of the photo had been solved but it was not something Mark anticipated.

“I guess it’s wasteful to throw away and besides I always thought it’s an artistic shot. You looked very cool in that photo right?”

“Yeah right…”

The food came and both of them tucked in.

After dinner, Jade wanted to shop more and Mark had to oblige because he had just made her cry in the afternoon. Her quest ended up with 2 skirts and a pair of sandals.

Mark and Jade separated after sending her to Bukit Batok MRT station.

As the train continued its journey, Mark looked through the windows and relived the day. It had really been a long time since he enjoyed a day like this. Shopping is not entirely boring or as he thought so.

After his bath, Mark sat by his computer and began a blog entry of today. His lips were always uplifted as he types about shopping trips, girl’s licenses to be emotional and all the stuffs he could remember.

As Mark uploads his entry, he thought about Psyche. The mysterious someone that always read his blog.

Who is she?
What will she tagged this time?

His second question was answered within minutes of his post.

“Will you be with the person you loved most or the person who loved you the most?”

It was Psyche, as expected.

[To be Cont]