Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 20


What will be the most difficult thing you will do for the one you now love?

For some, it would be to forget about the past relationships that they had gone through.

No matter what went wrong, what happened between the two of you earlier, you will still somehow remember the person deep inside your heart?

Most of them will admit that we still think of the pervious person that we once shared.

It could be a song both of us used to sing in karaoke.
It could be a movie both of us shed our tears to.
It could even be a path or place we used to go.

The smallest of all memories that unfolds itself slowly through the deep emotions inside you.

Sometimes we are angry with our current partners for remembering their ex. Once the jealousy starts, it never ends.

But have we ever asked ourselves why we can’t forget about them?

I did not forget about her, that someone who used to share my life with. I remember what I did that angered her, what I did that made her very happy. I remember all the arguments we ever had and all the tears she shed for me.

I remember all these so that I can treat my current girl all the corrected thoughts and feelings.

People once told me “To live is to first learn to love. You will only know about life when you start to love.”
I find it only half true.

I would believe “To live is to first dare to love, then experience the heartache of losing it and finally finding the courage to love correctly again.”

Only then you will know what love and life is all about.





The plane departed Shanghai on a Sunday afternoon. Christine was again sleeping on the plane and Mark had to be contented with the entertainment system again.

He had always wanted to know how Christine is able to sleep on the plane. Little did he knew this time Christine wasn’t sleeping. She was only avoiding him.

The plane arrival at Changi Terminal 1 on Sunday night.

Mark and Christine parted their ways at the airport, as both parents were there to fetch them. As both of them walked out of the arrival hall, Mark had to pretend he didn’t know Christine at all to avoid her father.

Mark did get an eyeful of her father as Christine hugged him.
He was glad he didn’t walked out together with her based on her father’s physical build.

Once reached home, Mark and had a good bath and dinner before unpacking his luggage.

As he separates out all the dirty laundry, Mark found a uniquely looking pen inside.

“Wow... that looks expensive. I wonder whose pen is it. Maybe Chris? Nah.. Shouldn’t be. It certainly looks like a men’s pen to me. Maybe it’s Zhong Liang or Wenbin’s”

Mark thought for a moment relating to his China counterparts.

“Whatever! Finders’ Keepers!” That was the only conclusion drawn on his mind as he kept his pen in the drawer.

Mark was drained from the flight then he went to bed immediately after unpack his stuffs.

As he lay down on his bed, Mark is sure looking forward to tomorrow.
Not because that he loved to go to work but having the chance to see Jade again.

The night was quiet as his sweet dreams blossoms.


Morning came and Mark was all ready to go out after having breakfast. He had time his move very precise so as to be able to see Jade on the train.

It seemed rather childish to some people that Mark HAD her phone numbers, he could simply dial her up and ask to meet up.

But he didn’t. He wanted to play a game.

To Mark, this was call the game of destiny.

To find someone in the crowds, without the aid of anything, anyone. Just purely analytical sense and luck.

Maybe this is what fate is all about.
Finding the right person at the right time.

This was how he founded his first girlfriend, Jade.
He had never play this game since.

But when he reached the MRT station, Mark had decision to make.
It was as if the simplest decision he had to make.

A simple choice that stands at fifty-fifty chance.

But Front or Back cabin?

Mark stood at the middle of the platform with deep thoughts analyzing the situation.

The last time he saw her, she was in the front cabin. However he did not see her the very day.

“Could she went back to the back cabin since we already settled our differences?”

Before Mark could make up his decision, the train arrived at the platform. As it was the timing of the train Jade would usually take, Mark had to hop onto the train to make up his mind again.

Mark was squeezed and pushed by the fellow commuters to the inner portion of the cabin. As it was rather jammed at the early peak hours, it was near impossible for him to move.

A earlier determined Mark had to give up for the day. He just looked out of the window as the train continued its journey.

“Maybe we are not fated at all.”

His thoughts began to stagnant before he heard a voice behind him.

“So… we meet again? Hee hee”

The voice was crystal clear and sends waves of excitement through the spines of Mark. It was the voice he had shared long conversations with and longing to hear again.

Mark turned around to look for the source but he looked in vain. There was nowhere that he could see her.

“Here lah…”

The owner of the voice waved at Mark, she was sitting just beside him as he stood.

“Jade? Hey!”

Mark got a pleasant shock as he finally locates her.

Jade had her spectacles removed and put on light makeup. Whatever triggered the transformation didn’t matter. What matter most was the outcome.

Jade looked really glorious without her specs.
Gone was her usual long sleeves and blouse office style ‘uniform’.
Instead a low cut floral dress fitted right through her curvy figure.

It was not as amazing like the ‘ugly duckling tale’ as Jade didn’t looked that bad in the beginning. It was really more towards those pretty girl-next-door transform into a highly impressive socialite kind of scene.

Jade was definitely more feminine than before and Mark looked at her from a different prospective.

As his mouth opened, all that he could ever say out was

“Wow…”

Jade looked at the stunned Mark.

“Do I looked that bad? It took me a lot of courage to start wearing this you know.”

Jade started to adjust her dress.

“No.. you look great.. really. I’m totally speechless.”

Mark literally mouth-watered.

“Well.. looks like we are fated to meet again.”
Jade smiled. She looked exceptionally sweet this time.

“Yup.. how come you are in the middle of the train? You should be at the last cabin as usual?”

“Well, my card ran out of money so I have to top up. Then the train arrived when I reached the platform, so I just board in the middle.”
Jade shrugged.

“That’s really great!~”
Mark couldn’t believe how lucky he felt.

If her card was fully topped or he chose either end of train, both of them would not have met.

The two of them paused for a moment before Mark continued.

“So how are you?”
Mark started the usual round of talks as he did not where to start again.

“I’m fine, your soup really helped. You gotta teach me how to cook them one day.”

“Why not this weekend?”
Mark just blurted out.




“Hmmmm… I have to confirm with you again. It’s still too early to say mah. Maybe there are other guys who wanna date me too?”

Jade winked.

“Oh ok… we’ll see how again.”
The tone of his voice brought out the disappointment in him.

“Anyway, you’ve got my numbers right? You can always sms me nearing weekend.”

Jade relight his hopes one more.

Time passed too quickly when you least expected. The train arrived at Yishun at the rate that Mark could not accept. He wanted to continue the journey to Raffles Place but he hesitated.

It was Monday morning and his boss needs to have a meeting with him and Christine to discuss about last weekend’s presentation and follow up on the responses.

“Hey.. I got to alight.”

“Yeah.. you have a great day ahead ok?”

“Alright, bye…”

Mark bid farewell before pulling himself out of the train before the door closes. The route to office from the train station seemed longer than the train journey.

--------------------------------------

Mark was the first to reach the office. The quietness of being alone was disturbed with the voice of a fully charged soul.

“Dude! My brother! Congrats on your presentation!”

Shaun opened up his arms and shouted the front door as he enters.

“Hey man! Thanks”

“So.. did you.. and Chris… erhm.. you know .. you know..”
Shaun was elbowing him as he bitched.
“What? What do you want to ask?”
Mark shot back.

“Well… only a blind person won’t know she carries a torch for you. Didn’t the two you have a good time at Shanghai?”

“Yeah.. we spent through midnight!”

“WICKED!!!”

“Shut up Shaun, we were only rushing through the presentation.”

“Chey!! Spoiler! Boring bastard.”

“Hi guys, good morning! I’ve bought breakfast for everyone.”
Christine entered the office.

“Oh hiya Missy Tan. Oh my… you smell damn nice”
Shaun breathed her up as she walked past.

Christine stepped on his foot as she placed his breakfast on his table.
“Of course it’s nice. It’s Gucci.”

“Morning Mark.”
Christine placed his share too.

The three of them then spend the rest of the morning clearing up the unread emails.

Boss had initiated a debrief at 1100hr.

“Mark and Chris, both of you had done a great job. I have receive various compliments from Sales side and our China counterparts. Even our MD looks forward to an aggressive sales after your performance.”

“Thanks Mr. Lee, for the chance”
Mark replied.

“Keep up the good work both of you, and take the rest of the day off. You must be tired from the flight yesterday. See you tomorrow.”

“So where are you heading?”
Mark asked Christine as both of them went out of their boss’s office.
“I need to go for a spa treatment, I initially wanted to take half day but since he gave us time off.. better still.”

“Alright, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Mark bid goodbye to Christine and Shaun.

As it was still early, Mark decided to take his lunch at the café where Sharon works. It had been awhile since the last time he saw her.

A stranger greeted Mark when he reached the café.

Apparently there was no sign of Sharon at the café at all as Mark scanned around.

After taking his lunch, he approached a staff at the café.

“Excuse me, is Sharon on leave today?”

The staff looked at Mark strangely.

“Sir, you didn’t know?”

“What?”

“Sharon no longer works here, in fact she had been missing for a week already, there was a newspaper report of her case few days ago but since then there was no news of her.”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 19


Everyone would want their relationship to be as romantic as what they see in the movies, as mushy and die-heartedly in the novels they read.

However Love is practical, although we wish it isn’t.

When two people get together, it’s the celebration of the union of two lost souls that found each other in the mist of hope.

As the mist begins to clear, the relationship will start to get practical.
The two of you will have arguments even with the slightest thing. What to have for dinner? Which blouse to buy? Whether should he stay in his current job or otherwise.

Money & time becomes the two most important factors in a relationship.

Monetary on, how he would disagree on you spending half your monthly pay on a bag then expect him to foot the bill for every outing.
How she would nag him on his spending on video games and technology gadgets.

Time on, how she would disagree on the coffee sessions that you’ve spent with your band of brothers.
How he would feel that you are not spending enough time with him.

As the relationship gets longer and deeper, the more problems will arise with money and time.

Then you looked back and ask yourself.

“Is this love? Or is this purely how two people allocate their time and money? Why can’t love be pure? ”

Perhaps one day you will find yourself in this situation when you talk about time or money. Love is no longer as innocent as we wished.

To maintain a relationship, you have to manage your time and money. For which any of those you can’t supply enough, you will probably lose the relationship.

This is Love, practically.



The loudness of the ring tone could be heard across the room. The phone rang for a long time with echoes of melody and vibration trembling sound swept through.

Neither of them was waken by the phone as it continue making it’s presence felt.

Mark was lying awkwardly below the bed while Christine was peacefully tucked in.

The phone or actually the caller didn’t give up, after awhile the phone rang again.

Mark was awaken by the ringing sound as he crawled himself out of the couch towards the phone.

“Yeah….Wassup?”
Mark spoke with his eyes still closed.

“Hello, who are you?”
A man spoke across the speaker.

“I’m Mark Lee lah, you call this number you don’t know who am I?”

“I’m sorry”
The caller hung up.

“Crazy….”
Mark then lie back on the floor with the phone in his hand.

Then the phone ring again.

“Yeah… what do you want?”

“Who the hell are you??!!”
It was the same man again.

“I’m Mark Lee lah! What the hell you want?”
Mark was agitated by the ignorance.

“Then where the hell is Christine?”

“She’s still sleeping, what the hell you call my number to find her?”

“Hello, Mr. Mark Lee. Please open your bloody eyes and looked at the phone carefully? Whose fucking phone is this?”

The man was clearly in rage.

It was then Mark realized he had answer Christine’s hand phone.

“Oh... shit… I’m sorry”
Then he hung up the phone.

All the commotions had woken Christine up.
She rubbed her eyes and stared at Mark who was below her bed.
Their eyes met as Mark stared back.
Then the next moment was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life as Christine screamed her voice out as if she was been slaughtered.

“Why are you here?!!! What did you do to me?”
Christine threw everything on the bed on him.

“Hey… we never did anything ok. Come on… think back, you were the one who asked me to stay.”

Mark defending himself.

“I where got so cheap! You idiot… you must have ‘spike’ the drink I had and rape me…”

Mark was equally amused and amazed by Christine’s split personality within such a short period.

“Hey Chris, Use your brain to think lah… If I would to rape you, why the hell would I be sleeping UNDER your bed?”

Mark let a sigh.

“Besides, you really think it’s like the movies arh. Rape until no feeling?? Come on… I was tucking you in bed then you asked me to accompany you. I obliged because you were crying.”

“I was crying? Ha Ha Ha very funny.. Since when?”
Christine folded her arms.

Christine’s phone rang again.

Mark stopped her before she answered.

“Hey, just want to tell you I accidentally picked up your phone just now. Please explain to your boyfriend.”

“Shut up Mark, don’t mock me for being single can?”
Christine answered the call.

“Hello… yeah Dad.. I just woke up.”

“What?!? What did he say to you????”
Christine pointed at Mark to signal her wrath.

“No daddy, it’s not what you think we did.”
Christine trying her best to prove her innocence as Mark looked on.

“Just go to the gynae, then will prove my innocence.”
Mark urged her on.

“It’s ok dad. Please trust me. I will take care of myself, sorry for didn’t call back when I touched down.”
Christine seems to cool down.

Mark decided to go back to his room after sensing everything was back to normal. His move towards the door was stopped by a sudden burst of loud scream of rage.

Before Mark knew it, he was kicked several times by a woman that was on a rampage.

“Never offend a women as most probably you will be killed, it’s only a matter of when.”

This thought lingered in his mind as he limped his way back to his room.

On the other hand, there was a feeling of happiness and fun felt throughout the bashing. It was as if back to old times when you made fun of the girl in school and she chased you a few blocks over it.

--------------------------------------


It was lunch time when the two of them finally meet.

Christine was still pissed from her body language.

“Hey Chris… I’m sorry ok? I was drunk too you know.”

“Jerk, don’t talk as if we had done it. We never ok?”

“Ok… My entire fault. I’ve been bash by you already. Let’s call it even? We still need to work together till this weekend.”

Mark scratched his head as he apologized. It was something he rarely did. Christine looked at Mark, who clapped his hands in a prayer manner.

“Please?”

“Has anyone ever told you, you look like a complete idiot when you tried to act cute? Ok, you are forgiven and you owe me a favor. Don’t forget.”
Christine turned her back towards a deeply-disgusted Mark and started walking.

“Let’s go for lunch before we link up with our colleagues.”

-----------------------------------------------

The week of exhibition was tough yet fruitful. Mark learned a lot of information and technology skills from his counterparts.

Every night, both Christine and Mark had to work through midnight before calling it a day. The schedule was tight and challenging but somehow the hardship was smoothened by their sheer perseverance.

Other than the limited hours of sleep they had, the two of them shared almost every moment together. It was as if the two were living together separated by a bedroom.

When the two of them had ran out of creative juice, they would opt out to walk the streets of Shanghai to regenerate their thoughts.

Mark would accompany Christine as she swift the bouqtiues of designers’ label, trying out various clothes, bags and shoes.

Christine would accompany Mark as he seek his pleasures in finding sporting gear as well as technological devices.

As soon as something came up in their minds, they would stop everything and head for a café to work on it. Somehow it was like half vacation, half work. Their boss didn’t care for less, all he wanted was a good performance on the actual to show for.

Their big day came as both of them prepared for the showcase.
With the response from the crowd, they certainly did their company proud with their sleek presentations.

Their seeds of labor bore fruits as the company received countless of queries over their latest product. It was something Mark had thought he was not able to achieve in his life. Maybe he only achieve because of Christine’s support.

Their boss was delighted as he voiced his support over the teleconference after the show.

“Great job guys, make sure you enjoy yourself tonight before your flight tomorrow.”

On the last night before they returned. Their counterparts in Shanghai had arranged a celebration for exhibition success. They had booked a ballroom in their hotel and ordered a few tables of dishes.

Midway through the feast Christine excused herself for being tired and uncomfortable stomach. Mark then volunteered to send her back to her room before joining them.
As they walked out of the ballroom, Christine walked towards the exit instead of the lift back to her room.

“Where are you going?”
Mark was quite surprised in seeing this.

“I’m going out for a walk, want to join me?”
Christine looked back at him.

Both of them walked along the streets of Shanghai, it was close to midnight and the crowd was getting lesser and lesser.

They came to a small bridge.
Christine walked towards the bridge and looked at the waters below.

“Mark, do you know the feeling of loneliness?”
Christine asked.

“Loneliness is not because you are alone, it’s because you are missing someone.”
Mark too walked up and looked at the waters.

“You ever felt lonely?... after that incident of Jade?”

“I guess guilt was the first and biggest feeling I had since that day. Somehow I just keep telling myself that I’ve killed her. Now that you asked, I also don’t know whether I was lonely or not but I know I was missing something in my life.”

“It must have been terrible.”

“Yeah… It took me a long while before I got my act together again. In fact I was glad that someone helped me. Although I don’t know who is she.”

“Huh? I don’t get what you mean.”

“Just take it as I have a Love advisor with me now. She refused to reveal her identity to me until she said it’s ready. But all these while, I feel that she knows me very well and is able to know how I feel.. Right deep inside my heart.”

“It must have been great to have someone to advise you.”
Christine’s tone softened.

“Christine, what do you think about love?”
Mark suddenly asked.

“Love is something that hurt you the most. I thought I ever told you that already?”
Christine smiled as she replied.

“Love hurt you the most, yet it can also give you the most blessed feeling you ever had right? I guess it’s this extreme that make love so mysterious. One sided love is even more painful you know.”

“Why is it so? I mean only I know that I love him will do. Why should I say out? and then what? A relationship is born? Until the day he no longer loves me? Then the relationship died?”

“Chris, you have someone in your mind now right?”

“How do you know?”

“That night when you were drunk, you said why you can’t be with the person you liked.”

“Oh…”

“Have you ever told the person?”

“Nope..”

“Then how do you know if the person doesn’t like you?”

Christine didn’t reply. The cold air blew towards them as they stood.

“Mark?”

“Yeah….?”

“I… like you………”

“Huh? Pardon”

“I like you-r way of showing concerns for me. I appreciate that. As a friend and colleague, really.”

“Well… anything for you! You’ve helped me a lot too.”
Mark repaid the compliment.

“Let’s go back to the hotel?”
Christine suggested.

“Yeah, we have a morning flight to catch tomorrow. Let’s go back and have a good rest.”Both of them then made their way back to the hotel.

As Mark slept soundly in his bed, Christine was in the other room alone crying as she keyed into her laptop.

“These few days are probably the happiest in my life, we spend a lot of time together. There was a period of time when I actually felt that we were already a couple.

But when he asked me do I like anyone, I just couldn’t bring myself to say out.

What’s so difficult?

Why I don’t even have guts to tell him that I like him?

What was it that I was afraid of?

Afraid that I will not be able to replace her in his life?.”

It was a blog entry that she had entered. The blog was a daily journal that Christine had kept for a while now. Nobody knew about her blog, even her best friends didn’t knew of it’s existence. It was something personal and only those who don’t know her personally will have access to her blog. Maybe Christine didn't want people to know about her life.

As Christine paused to wipe her tears, there was a reply in her tagboard.

“Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall be given. Love begins with nothing but ends with everything”

Her sender…

Eros.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 18

Some people say that a relationship is a test between two persons of different backgrounds, different personality, different taste, different faith and belief.

You may have a few things that you shared the interest with your partner.
Both of you may like singing endlessly in the karaoke.Both of you may like spicy food.
That’s about all of it. She may like English songs while you like Mandarin. You may like spicy fish but she likes spicy vegetables.

At the end of the day, the differences between you and the one you love is often greater than you think.

How would you feel when he disagrees with you over a thing you liked?

How would you feel when she tells you that your hobbies are really childish and impractical?

Would you tell yourself that this person don’t love you?
Because he/she doesn’t know what you really like and appreciates the things that you loved?

When two people are different, it doesn’t mean one is right the other is wrong. It only means you are different.

I find joy in knowing the differences we had. I learned about the things in life which I may not have the chance to like.

I learned from her that shopping can really be enjoyable by trying out a lot of outfits and shoes. She learned from me that shopping can really be about strategy location, promotions and pricing.

When we are different, we learn to look from each other’s point of view and hence understand each other more.

It often takes someone who doesn’t really understand what you do to tell you how to improve.

Because all of us are really different from each other after all.



Mark didn’t dare to respond to Christine, he was afraid any questions that came out might cause a tsunami of emotions.

The two of them didn’t talk much.
The five hour flight was already long; it was longer considering there was no communication with anyone.

Christine fell asleep while Mark tried to keep himself occupied with the entertainment system onboard.

The flight reached Pudong International Airport in the wee hours of the morning.

As they checked into the hotel, Mark suggested.

“Hey, you take a rest first ok? I will give you a ring for breakfast later.”

Christine smiled.

“It’s ok; I’ll be at the lounge. I need some alcohol toxification.”

“Alright Chris, I’ll join you at the lounge after I take a bath.”

“It’s alright Mark; you no need to accompany me.”

“Says who? I’m the one who needs accompany... so you have to accompany me instead.”

Mark pointed at her.

-------------

When Mark reached the lounge, Christine was already there. The bottle of Scotch whisky was already a third empty.

“Wow.. I didn’t know you are such a good drinker.”

Mark looked at her as he made himself comfortable. He ordered a mug of beer.

“I don’t drink as often as you think.” Christine replied.


“You know Chris, if there’s something bothering you. You can tell me, other than work which I personally think you are much superb. The rest of the stuffs I give you a sound advice.”

Christine looked away from him.

“I was thinking about Brandon.”

“I knew it!” Mark thought as he planned what to sway next.

“Well, sometimes one’s first love might not last as long as we want to. But the values that we learned from it will surely make us understand more about love.”

Christine looked back at him.

“We never got started.”
Christine stretched herself.

“It’s been so long already, we were in the same secondary school. Brandon was not really a guy who girls will fall over. He was kind of nerdy, buried in his books everyday. Not many people talked to him anyway.”

“Wah… that means you are a nerd too huh?”
Mark studied Christine from head to toe.

“You don’t look like one now, thank goodness”

“Didn’t I tell you it was ages ago? In fact I was the school prefect, the class monitor and the head of school library committee, mind you”

Christine’s mood seems to liven up a bit.

“Then what happened?”

“What I used to like about Brandon was his pureness and honesty. He doesn’t know how to woo girls and then one day, out of nowhere. Brandon just came to me and tells me he liked me a lot. I was really caught by him as I didn’t know what to do.”

Mark nodded.


“But my parents were very strict then, I wasn’t allowed to have my own time. I can only go to school and be home before my parents returned from office. There was no way that I can have a relationship then.”

Christine stopped for a while.

“But I think he’s cute and secretly liked him too.”

“Well Chris, I understand how you feel. The pain you get when you can’t be with the one you loved.”

Mark said as he down his beer.

“I wonder it was the cruelty of fate that led us to meet again in University. I was studying in New South Wales then and we met on the streets in Sydney one day. He turned out to be very much as good looking as you met just now.”

“Then why didn’t the two of you get together?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s too long already. Maybe it was only puppy love then. Maybe I don’t know anything about love. We just didn’t hit it off that day as we walk our separate ways.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you believe me if I tell you I’ve never been in a relationship before?”

“……….tell you honestly, I won’t believe.”

“Why?”

“Because you look really good, I won’t believe if you tell me no guys had ever gone after you? Some of our customers were always caught indirectly checking you out.”

“Thanks for the compliment Mark, you’ve made my day.”

Christine lifted her glass and initiated a round of cheers.


“Chris, I think you really need a rest. We’ve got a long rest tomorrow.”

Mark could sense the effect of alcohol taking its effect on Christine.
He then helped her back in her room. As he laid her on her bed, Mark looked at the tipsy Christine.

It had been a while since he last looked at someone who’s asleep. The simple blessing which he enjoyed during the times he shared with Jade.

“Maybe the simplest yet most blessed feeling is to wake up and looked at the person you loved.”

Mark thought to himself as he covered her with the blanket.

“Don’t go…”
Mark felt his arm been grabbed.

“I don’t like the feeling of being alone in the night.”
Christine’s eyes were closed and looked as if she was mumbling.

Mark brushed her hair as he comforted her.

“Don’t worry, I will be here.”

“Don’t go… Don’t go………I don’t want to be alone. I hate been alone. Why can’t be with the one I liked? Why does it always have to be me.”
Christine grabbed Mark towards her as she wailed.

“Ok, I promise you...”
Mark kissed her forehead.

Christine stopped struggling and let go of him. She fell into a very deep sleep. Mark noticed there was a trace of tears flowed from the corner of her eyes.

Mark covered her blanket and went over to the couch.
He sat down and watched her sleep.

A smiled appeared on his face before he too closes his eyes and took a rest.

“I promise you... I will help you find the one whom you loved…”

[To be Cont]

Anntonii introducing a new writer for this blog.

Her penned name is Shan.

Her works revolved a lot in Korean drama series so names of characters and background setting may be in Korea. Guess people who liked Korean drama series will find her stories very much appealing to you. For those who know her, rest assure that I've obtained her permission and help to be in collaboration. I will scout for more writers who are willing to be involved in this blog.

If you know of anyone or yourself that is willing to share your works in my blog, do drop an email to me anntonii@hotmail.com.

You can view her story at

http://love-memo.blogspot.com/

Stay tune for more of her works to come.

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 17



You have known her for a long time. You know all about her, her ex-boyfriends and even the guy she’s currently dating.

You are her number one buddy, someone whom she would share everything with you. Her darkest secrets, her first kiss and all the moments that she cried you would be there for her.

Was it purely friendship? That made you came out of your house in the middle of the night just because she wanted someone to talk to after a tussle with her boyfriend.

How ironic, as it took you a long time to realize she’s actually the one you are looking for after all these years.

You waited and waited, until she is finally single.
You finally found the courage that was hiding deep inside you.
You tell her about your feelings one day.

She told you she is tired about having another relationship.
She thinks you are a nice person, someone who can take care of her.
Unfortunately you weren’t someone in the mold of her dream.

The long road is almost unbearable. The world never seems to stop turning, time never seems to take notice on someone who’s struggling through life.

Bearing each day with the hopes of being reached by the one you loved, the one you used to care for so much..

How you find life so meaningless and lonely now as you begin each day wondering how would it be if you had done the right thing?

The people who used to stand by you weren’t there anymore as you continue this journey to the undiscovered path of life. You fall easily, finding it hard to get up…for you are alone now…

As you slowly pick yourself up upon your feet, time never waits, passing every minute with uncertainty that you will end the same day without being tortured by fate. The self belief and his confidence are all gone now….

Finally you told yourself not to care for anyone else again, for you knows no matter how much you cared , no one will be there for you again…. as you head towards the infinite sadness of life…... Towards the path of infinite sadness and mental destruction of life

“Everything aren’t the same without the presence of you….”




Mark went back to office on Tuesday morning.
The journey to office was a lack lusted affair as he knew it would take a week more before he could see Jade again. Something inside him stopped him from sending a message to Jade.

Hopefully this time she will be back in her usual self.

“Yo bro, how was your extended weekend man!”
Shaun taunted Mark for an answer as he came to his desk.

“My weekend is the same as every weekend. No difference.”
Mark cut the small talk as his boss walked towards his table.

“Mark, come into my office at 1100.”
He ordered.

Shaun tilted his head to Mark and showed him the cut throat signal.

“What happened?”
Shaun whispered.

Mark just shook his head. He guess it was another round of complains about something went wrong.

Time seems to go very slow when you know you are heading for some form of punishment. Mark had to endure the anxiety for 2 hours before it arrived.

Mark knocked on the door and went in. He was quite surprise to see Christine inside too.

“Mark, take a seat.”

Mark sat as his heart sank, “What did I do wrong this time? Was it over the late submission of presentation?”

Then all his wildly thoughts shattered when his boss spoke.

“Mark, how long have you been in my team?”

“More than 2 years, Mr. Lee”

“What do you think of yourself, your contribution to the team?”

“I think there’s more things I can do, more areas which I can improve. There are some bad habits which I have to kick away.”

“Good… glad you know yourself well..”
His boss leaned back to his chair.

“Damn.. Don’t tell me he’s going to transfer me away?”
Mark felt a hunch about the things to come.

“There’s an exhibition going on in Shanghai this week. All our competitors and potential customers will be there. I want you to go with Christine. Both of you will be in charge for an on stage presentation of our latest range of products this weekend.”

Christine looked at Mark and smile.

“But Boss.. Why me?”

Mr. Lee was rather shocked by the question.

“Well… I managed to convince my boss to let us do the presentation rather than the Sales team. You can say it’s getting some limelight for the team if both of you done well.”

He paused.

“As for why were you selected, I would want to let you know that you know how to handle situations based on my past experience with you. No doubt there are areas which you need to improve, Christine will be the best mentor to guide this time round.”

“Thanks boss.”
Mark felt his acceptance.

“The two of you can take the rest of the day off, go home and pack up. The flight is tonight then you will link up with the rest of the folks who are already there. Please do a good job, any questions?”

“Boss, any rest and relax sessions after the trip?”
Mark looked at his boss eagerly.

Mr. Lee’s eye brown frowned.

“Boss, He’s only joking, right Mark?”
Christine’s lightning reflexes saved him as she dragged him out of the office.

“Hey Mark, I’m going to settle the air tickets and some paperwork”
Christine told Mark as they head back to their desk.

“Ok…”

“So where are you guys going for lunch?”

“I don’t know, it’s always decided by Shaun.”

“Ok then… see you tonight at the airport.”

Mark reached home after lunch.
After telling his mother about the trip, he then went on to pack up and had a rest.

After dinner, Mark switched on his computer for one last entry into his blog before the trip.

“Today I finally felt the appreciation from my boss as I’ve been assigned to go for a business trip. Hopefully I will not screw this up and thankfully Chris is going along. She’s always there when I screwed up.”

Mark posted his entry and began surfing the web for the places of interests in Shanghai.

Then he switched back to his blog to have a one last look right before switching off.

There was already a tag in his tagboard.

“You will gain more than you ever expected from this trip”

It was written by Psyche.

“What is she saying? Was it words of encouragement? Hmmm…. Never mind. I never seem to understand her as much as she understands me.”

Mark then switched off his computer.

------------------------

“Hey you are really early.”
Christine arrived at the airport.

“Yeah.. Guess I’m pretty much excited about the trip.”

“Hey… we are going for a business trip; don’t expect a tour or something. We have to conference with boss every morning and evening to report the status. I suppose we even have to work through the night for our presentation.”

Mark nodded.

“Ok..”

“Now, let’s check in”
Christine suggested.

Before they move, Christine felt someone calling her.

“Hey Chris, Christine Tan!”

She turned and saw a guy walking towards her direction.

“Brandon? Is it you? Oh my god! It’s really you.”
Christine walked towards the guy and hugged him as Mark looked on.

“Yeah it’s me alright.. So how’s life been for you?”

“Life’s great for me. Where are you heading?”
Christine joyfully replied.

“I’m heading back to Sydney. I just came here for a short trip to see my parents. I’ve got a job and house back there already.”

Then Brandon looked at Mark and smiled.

Mark awkwardly smiled back.

“Oh I see… Life sure is great for you… So where are you guys heading for your honeymoon?”
“Honeymoon? Give us a break man! This is my colleague Mark, we are on our way to Shanghai for a presentation.”
Christine quickly responded.

“Really? Gosh… both of you are really compatible. Sorry for being rude or something.”

Mark just smiled again as Christine hurried Brandon off.

“You better get going, I’ll give you a ring when I’m done ok?”

“Alright, bye dear.”

Brandon gave Christine a hug before he walked off.

The two of them then checked in and got on the plane.

“You sure have a funny friend.”
Mark tried to strike a conversation.

Christine didn’t respond as she looked at the window.

Mark felt the ambience wasn’t correct so he kept quiet throughout the take off. Christine wasn’t her usual self right after she saw Brandon.
It was only midway through the flight then Christine finally spoke.

“Brandon was my first love.”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书



Chapter 16


You’ve known him for a period of time. He’s a cheerful guy who never stops making you happy. You feel he’s going to be the right guy for you. You don’t want to let this chance slip away into the hands of other predators prowling.

You find one good day, arrange a good setup for a 4 coursed dinner.
Despite the rejection of your female buddies, you still decided to go for it.

Then when the moment comes, you expressed your thoughts to him.

He looked at you, smile and later laugh it out loud. He treats it like a big surprise that hits him hard and tries to ignore the fact that you had always liked him. He finds tons and tons of excuses to avoid the start of the topic that he knew it would be pointless.

You felt down, cried at times knowing that life was at your lowest at this point. You felt as if the world begins to turn their backs on you. You used to remember, he was the one whom you needed when you were in doubt, and he was the one who pull you up when you’re down. These images may not happen again.

Now you asked yourself “ Is there anything wrong in telling the person you like that you like him? “ why must it always happen to you… why can’t you be with the one you loved most.
The time is way past midnight, you find that sleeping isn’t that easy anymore, tossing and turning on your bed is getting frustrating. You try to get up, sit back and think of the past relationships you had.

Some were meaningful, some were tragic, but in all of them, you had always put your true feelings and treasure each and every moment. You try to work, hoping that you won’t think of him that often...

But then again, the more you don’t want to think of him, the more of his images appeared in front of your mind. You then took up drinking, trying every means and ways to immune yourself but every morning all you’ll get is hangover and make your life worse.
You finally asked yourself

“Is it worth it? To feel so miserable over him?”




Mark was rather surprised that Sharon had already chance upon his blog.

He returned the tag.

“Ironically, I won’t know whether I’m in love with someone until the day I lose her. When two persons are together, they see each other everyday, it then becomes a norm.

The relationship will roll become going out for shopping trips, catching the latest movie and to go for a getaway holiday.

Slowly it becomes a habit… to see her everyday.

But you won’t know if you are seriously in love with her or simply need her because of your habit… until she left you.

This is when you know you are in love.”

Sharon replied.

“I don’t know whether I’m in love now.”

“You will know it one day; hopefully the person is still there when you realized it.”

“Hopefully…”

------------------------------------

Mark spent the rest of his weekend at the hospital. He knew Jade would be alone if he didn’t. He continued to bring the soups for her and bought a few books to kill her boredom.

Jade did get better after a few days of rest but her words became lesser after that night. The conversations they had were merely a yes-no question and answer session over the weather and some current affairs heard over the news.

Jade would sometimes stare at the book without reading. Then her tears will flow. Mark could only wipe off the tears for her every time he sees this.

There was so much he wanted to tell her.
To ask her to stop thinking about the past that was already over.
To ask her to think in a more rational way.
So what if she had kept the baby? Will it do more harm than good?
Will the baby grow like normal children?

But every time Mark took a step back, the relationship between them was not as close as he thought.

The only thing he could do was to wipe away her tears and hope that one day it will stop flowing.

------------------------------------------

Jade was due for discharged on Monday afternoon after the doctors were satisfied that she was well enough.

Mark sent a sms to Christine to apply for urgent leave before he left his house to pick Jade.

“Are you ok? Need any help over anything?”
The reply came almost immediately.

Mark didn’t reply her as there was nothing she could do except to stop asking about why he had to take leave.

As Mark was dealing with the discharging paper works, one of the staff nurse approached Mark.

“Sir, we are all sorry over the incident for Ms Jade and the child. She needs you the most during this period. No doubt she will throw a lot tantrum but she needs all the attention you can give.”

Mark wanted to clear the misunderstanding; that he was not her husband after all. Somehow He decided not to, simply because it will only stir more unnecessary queries.

Some misunderstandings are better kept unexplained.

Jade was discharged on Monday afternoon and was given 5 days of medical rest.

Mark sent her home via a cab to Bukit Batok. Jade’s mother was very happy when she opened the door but her happiness was rather short-lived.

“Jade, what happen to you? Why do you look so pale? Something happened to you?”

Mark tried to cut into the conversation.

“Ehh.. Auntie, you don’t know. Though our conference lasted few days but we had to rush through the night to get our packages done. Jade already had two sleepless night already! Of course she will look pale!”

“Wah… nowadays company really make you worked like a dog.”
Jade’s mother helped carry her stuffs in.

Jade just walked into her room and close the door behind her.

Mark was left standing in the living room with Jade’s mother.

“Yeah Auntie but our company is not bad too. They give us a week’s off so we’ll only need to go back office next Monday”

“Ok.. That sounds better. Let me get you something to drink.”

Jade’s mother turned and walked her way to the kitchen.

The two of them had a small talk over Jade. Jade’s mother was more curious about Jade’s working environment and colleagues. Mark can only base on his accounting friend’s experiences on the good and bad sides of work place.

Then Mark asked Jade’s mother,

“Auntie, you know Jade’s boyfriend Don very well?”

Jade’s mother was not prepared for this question as she was quite taken aback. She paused for awhile before continuing.

“Don and Jade knew each other since primary school. Don used to live opposite block of us and he would go to school with her everyday. I don’t know whether it was fate or simply a joke from heavens that both of them had to go through the same primary, secondary and junior college together.”


“Jade was so in love in him that she waited for him to finish his National Service before enrolling for university together.”

“Wow Auntie… that really makes the script for a soap opera.”

Jade’s mother took a sip.

“Although my girl is very quiet and sometimes people complained about her lack of interest in enjoying life, Jade is a cheerful person every time she is with Don”

“They even planned for marriage two years from now. Then not long ago, Jade came home very late one night. I waited for her, her eyes were swollen. I knew something was wrong.”

Mark looked into his cup.

“You know, all mothers carry a special bond with their child. They can sense the happiness and sorrows that you carry in you. You know you are sick or not.

You are not in your mother’s womb for ten months for nothing you know. You ate what she ate, you drank what she drank.

However as her child grows up and face problems of their own, there are times when the mother can only watch. Because her child had display a “Do not bother me as I’ve already grown up” signal.

Boys will want their ego, girls will want their privacy. This is something that mothers have to live with. We can only pray that they will overcome their problems themselves.

I know my girl is very sad now. I suppose her relationship with Don is already over. I choose not to ask, I prefer to let her hug me and tell me one day.”

Mark’s eyes were reddened by this.

Their conversation halted when they heard the sound of door closed from Jade’s room.

Jade had been listening to them.


“Auntie, I guess I’ll be going. It’s late and I need to go home for dinner”

Mark reached home and found his mother cooking at the kitchen. He looked at her from afar. She had really aged over the years. The wrinkles surrounding her eyes had made her eyes looked smaller.

When was the last time he had a proper look at her?

“Ma, I’m home.”
Mark said.

Mark’s mother turned and smile.
“Ok, dinner will be served shortly.”

“Thanks Ma”
Mark went over to give his mother a hug.

“Thank what? The soup? Aiyah she’s your colleague mah.”

“Not only that, thanks for everything.”

Mark felt like a 10 year old boy for that minute that he hugged his mother. There was so much that he wanted to tell her, his sorrows that buried deep within him.

He hoped someone knew what he had gone through.

----------------------------

Mark took a walk in the park after dinner. He looked up the skies and found the Orion’s belt. The three stars were shining as always signifying eternity.

When he reached home, Mark went to his bed as he was really tired.
Physically and emotionally.

Before he fell asleep, his phone trembled.

There was an incoming sms.
The incoming number was an unfamiliar one.

“Don’t worry about me, I will be strong. I had told her everything and had a good crying session with her. If fate permits, we might just see each other again on MRT next week? Jade.”


[To be Cont]