Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 15



Everyone has a secret deep inside their heart.
It may be a one-sided affair you’ve developed you first know that person. That someone whom you liked the very first moment you saw him/her.

You began to look forward to see the one you secretly admire.
Is he happy today? Is she prettier than yesterday?

Then you asked yourself,
“When are you going to let the person know your feelings?”

You paused and hesitated because you don’t know how that person will react when you confess. You didn’t have the confidence that you will be loved as much.

Will it spur the end of a beautiful friendship?
That person might not talk to you again.
Something you cherish and meant a lot to you.

You secretly looked at the person again.
You decided not to let him/her know about your feelings.
You decide to keep in all within yourself.
Nobody other than you will know of this tiny secret.

You literally tore open your heart and dug deep, very deep.
To find a place deep inside your heart and keep this secret forever.
Safely locked till eternity.

Then you realized that person too have someone in mind.
You felt hurt when that person came for your advice because you were his/her best opposite sex friend.

You realized that the most hurtful in the world is to help that person you secretly loved to chase after someone he/she likes.

Every time you see the both of them together, you will feel as if the whole is currently crushing on you.

You even cried in the night, when you are all alone and there’s no one there to comfort you.


You tried to hide yourself from that person because you are afraid that one day you might just cry in front of him/her.

The saddest part comes when you finally learned that both of them are together. You have to act as if nothing happened as the both of them behaving sweetly in front of you.

All the tears dried, your heart broken and slowly healed.

And finally you tell yourself in the mist of pain and heartache,
“What will happen if you had confessed? Will the two of you be together?”

This is Love, Secretly and Sadly.





Mark returned to his home to take a shower.
Then he approached his mum.

“Ma, do you how to cook fish soup?”

His mother looked at him awkwardly.

“What happened? Why do you need to drink fish soup all the sudden?”

“Ohh… eh.. One of my colleagues just had an operation. So I was hoping can bring her some soup to strengthen her body.”

His mother’s eyes glow with excitement.

“Oh.. It’s a girl? Who’s she? How old is she? Where she lives?”

Mark stared at her.

“It’s not what you think it is, just cook for me can?”

“Ok.. Ok, so much for asking”
Mark’s mother took out some fish from the fridge and start preparing.

Mark took a shower and lay on his bed for awhile.
He only realized it was late afternoon when his mother knocked on his door.

“The soup is ready”

“Ok, thanks mum”

“How long is she staying in hospital?”
His mother was curious.

“I don’t know, I guess will be 3-4days”
Mark shrugged.

“Ok, then tomorrow I will cook chicken soup, then the next day will be lotus seed with ginseng.. Maybe bird nest is a good idea too”

Mark’s mother mumbled to herself as she went into the kitchen again.

Mark changed and made his way to the hospital.

-----------------------------------

When he reached the ward, he found Jade staring at the ceiling.

“If you concentrate harder, the ceiling might just be able to fall off”

Mark literally poked her as he put her stuffs on top of the small cabinet.

Jade turned to look at him.

“Oh… its you. So did my Mum say anything?”

“She said I’m handsome, whatever she said before and after that sentence I don’t quite remember already.”

Jade turned her attention back to the ceiling.

Mark took out the container from his bag.

“Can you drink some? It’s fish soup. Heard it’s very good for people who had just gone through an operation.”

Mark helped Jade up and passed a bowl to her.

Jade just stay expressionless as she held the bowl in her hands.

“Go on.. drink it.. if not will waste my effort”

“You cook this? Well I didn’t know there are guys who can cook. Then I got to try”

Jade began to take a sip.

Mark didn’t bother to explain, he took it as a case of ‘good’ miscommunication. What’s more important is that Jade is willing to drink the soup.

“Wow.. it’s really nice…Thanks… Oh.. Suddenly I feel so hungry.”

Jade finished her bowl of soup within minutes.

“There’s more, take your time”

Mark took her empty bowl and poured more soup.
After her dinner, Jade took a rest.

Mark just sat beside her, looking at her as she sleeps.
Suddenly the thought of his ex-girlfriend appeared out of nowhere.

Mark walked towards the window and looked at the night sky.

“It’s been so long already…”

Then he heard a voice behind him.

“You still here?”

Mark turned around.

“Yeah…”

“Can we go for a walk in the garden below? It’s been so long since I looked at the stars”

“If you think you are well enough to move”
Mark unfolded the wheel chair for her.

The night sky was clear but there were not many stars around to be seen. Maybe all the lights in the city make it difficult for stars to be seen here.


Jade pointed upwards.

“Mark, you heard of the Orion’s belt?”

Mark looked up.

“You mean the three stars that sit side by side? It’s one of the more visible stars in the night sky. I suppose it’s meant for navigation purpose.”

“Yeah… you know why the three stars are there?”

“I don’t know”

Jade looked at him and smiled.

“Let me tell you a story. Long Ago in the ancient times of Rome, there lives a very poor farmer by the name of Heron.

He worked night and day over the fields of grains to harvest food for his family. To him life was so miserable that he never thought he would love someone until the day when the boss came to collect his tax with his daughter, Zoenith.

It was a love at first sight, Heron knew she was the one for him.
Heron then tried so hard to impress his beloved.

He told Zoenith that he will climb up the highest mountain in Rome to catch a falling star in return for her love.

Zoenith did like Heron but due to the strong rejection from her father she could only avoid him.

When she knows he was going to the highest mountain she ran away from home to find him. She finally found him on the cliff of the highest mountain.

The Boss sent many men to search for Heron and wanted his head back for reward they look high and low for this young farmer and finally they reached the tip of the highest mountain.

As they approach, Zoenith begins to plead for their mercy to let Heron go but Heron stood still as he holds Zoenith's hand.

He spoke of real sincerity.

“Knowing you was a blessing but for you to be with me by my side is a miracle indeed let this day not be the day as we are parted but for this day tat we are united even if we were to go through hell together”

Heron tighten his grip of Zoenith's hand as they jump down the cliff together.

Venus then the Goddess of Love saw what happened to the wrecked couple. She understands that there was indeed true love between this young couples.

She then sent a shinning star to fetch them and bring them to the evening sky.

Then on in the nights of Rome, people will see 3 stars.. Heron, Zoenith and the middle star between them which symbolize their Love... “

Jade then paused a while. Then she continued with shivering voice.

“When either one of the stars stops glow the other two will simply die off. This is because their love is not tested by time but will last longer than time.....”

Jade then covered her face.

“Love can be so romantic and yet so dark sometimes. Some people will do anything for the ones they love.”

“Jade, Let’s go back, don’t think so much.. You have to be strong.”

Mark told her as he pushed her up to her ward before he returned home.

--------------------------------

Mark reached home and loosens up for a while before he went online.
He logged in to his blog and posted an entry.

“These two days I realized that Love can be extreme. It can be very romantic yet so hurting. When two persons love each other, they would do anything for each other but when the love died, so will their emotions and feelings.

When will I ever feel this love again?”

Someone left a tag in his tag board.

“When will you know you are in love?”

It was not Psyche this time,

It was Sharon.


[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 14

From the first crush you’ve developed, the feeling of liking someone becomes very intense. You grew up knowing that it’s always sweet to know there’s someone whom you look forward to everyday.

During secondary school was the age of love discovery as relationships might blossom for the very first time. That’s for those who are fortunate; the rest of us whom are less fortunate will find ourselves secretly liking someone.

What do we know about love at the age of 13?

We knew that when you love someone, you have to do everything for her/him.
If she likes shopping, you would have to love it too.
Then you would have the chance to at least go out with her.
If he likes to cycle, you would have to learn it too.
Then both of you can have the chance to cycle at east coast park.

We knew that we have to dress well as most of the girls have a very sense of fashion.
Color combination is vital when we go out. Pink don’t go with black and you don’t wear yellow & blue straps shirts. Once you go into the wrong book because of your dress sense, it would be very difficult for her to even notice you.

We knew in order for the girl to like you, we must also be accepted by her friends.
Her group of female friends whom she always hung out with.
You have to be nice to everyone she knew so that they will give her the thumbs up.

We knew that it’s always not easy to express ourselves.
We will try to be romantic, writing letters and buying flowers and teddy bears on her birthday. Never mind the little pocket money that remains throughout the month. Saying “I like you” is always not easy and might not always work.

Lastly, we knew that sometimes our guy friends will like her too. Then it’s the battle of guts & looks as the two of you takes on each other. The creativity and romantic book is thrown away as the better looking guy always gets the girl.
So think back about the times when you were young and now.
What were the differences between the meanings of love?

Our definitions of love will change when we grow older, when we gain more experience from relationships, when there are more sadness, when we learn to cry less.

This is Love.






Mark held her tight in his arms.
He didn’t know what to say to her.
He had questions he didn’t dare ask.

“It’s ok, Jade. Everything is fine now”
That was the only sentence that came out as he continued to hug her and pat on her back.

It took awhile before Jade recover from her shock.

“I’m….. Ok now…”
Jade whispered as she leaned on his shoulders.

Mark let go of her.
“I think I can remember how he looks like, let’s call the police”

“No…NO… Please don’t’”
Jade’s emotions came back again.

Mark couldn’t believe it, he knew something was wrong. He just not sure whether it’ was ethically correct to ask as he knew her not long enough.

“He’s your boyfriend?”

Jade shook her head.

“He’s my ex. We broke off a month ago.”

“Then why did he hurt you? I mean I don’t understand.”

“He came to ask me to abort the baby”

“What?~??!! You’re pregnant?”
“Yes.. It was only when we broke off that I realized I missed my mens, did a checkup only known I was pregnant…”

Mark helped her up.

“I don’t I should be asking this but why both of you broke up?”

“I caught him cheating on me. The woman was his colleague”
Jade stopped talking as she covered her mouth.
Tears were flowing.

“He used to love me a lot… We used to go beaches to watch the stars.”

Mark comforted her as he held her.

“Its over, don’t keep on walking in circles. Besides, what makes you want to keep the baby?”

Jade shook his hands off.

“Is this what you men only care about? Something that you’ve done in the moment of pleasure and choose not to live with it? The life inside me is innocent.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I say. I just being logical”

Just then Mark realized a stream of blood was flowing down from her blouse.

“What’s that?”

“Oh my god.. It’s blood..”

Mark quickly carried Jade to the road side to hail a cab. Jade started to develop pain in her lower adnominal area on the way to the hospital.
She clings onto Mark with agony and frustration.

“Am I going to lose the baby??”

Jade was put on immediate medical attention at the hospital. Mark can only stay outside the operation theater. Even though there wasn’t going to be any life threatening operations. Waiting outside the theater will get anyone nervous and panicky.

The doctor came out first before the nurse and porter pushed her bed out.

“Sir.. I’m sorry.. But I couldn’t save your child. We had to abort to save the adult. Your wife is very weak now as she lost a lot of blood, we’ll have to ward her for a few days to monitor her health. Please take care of her.”

“I understand..”

The doctor pat on Mark’s back before he left.

Jade was conscience but looked very pale as she continued to cry as she was moved to her ward.
Mark followed her bed.

Jade was transferred to a personal ward. She cuddled to her pillow when the nurses helped her to her bed.

Mark just sits on the chair beside her bed.
There was nothing he could say to make her feel better.
He can only wait for her to calm down.

“You have my belongings with you?”

“Yeah.. It’s with me”

“Can pass me my hand phone?”

“Ok.. Here you go” Mark took her phone out of the bag.

Jade dialed some numbers.

“Hello… Mum?”
Jade tried her best to sound normal despite the operation she had just did.

“Yeah it’s me… Jade”

“I’ll be staying over at colleague’s place tonight, we need to rush for our financial closure. The company is sending us to Taiwan for a few days, my colleague will drop by tomorrow to collect my luggage and passport ok?”

“Ok.. I will..”
Jade hang up the phone.

Then she picked her phone up to key in a sms.
After sending, Jade threw her hand phone towards the wall before covering herself with the blanket.

Mark picked up the phone and saw the message.

“The baby is gone, there’s nothing left between us anymore. I hope you are happy because I’m worse than hell.”

Mark knew she was crying again as he put back her phone near her bed. He didn’t went home that night, he just sat beside her incase she needed someone.

Tiredness won him over and soon he was sound asleep on the couch.

It was morning when he woke up. There was a blanket covering him.
Jade was staring at the ceiling as she laid there motionless.

“Hey… Good morning…”
Mark tried to start a conversation.

Jade turned to him.

“Don’t worry… I’m fine now. Don’t sleep without a blanket in future. Your bones will be weaken by the cold”

“Mark, can you do me a favor?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this. I need you to help me pack some clothes and bring my passport out for me?”

Mark nodded.

Jade jot down her address on a piece of paper and pass to Mark.
She lived in Bukit Batok which explains why everyday he sees her.
But Mark could not explain why she preferred to take this route as it’s longer compared to travel from Jurong.

Nevertheless, Mark return to his house before making a move to hers.

A lady opened the door.

“Hi Auntie, I’m Jade’s colleague. I’m here to collect her luggage”
Mark pretended to be cheerful even though he was emotionally sunk in too by this incident.

“Oh.. she called me yesterday. Wah.. I didn’t know Jade got such handsome colleague.. So you single or not?”

Mark just smiled as he entered her flat.

“At least you are better than that Don.”

Jade’s Mum showed him her room.

The design of her room was pretty simple. Definitely not those girly types of room filled with soft toys and huggable stuffs.
Jade’s room was filled with books though. There was a huge shelve filled with books that she had read.

As Mark roams her room, there were a few pictures hanging.
It showed her and another guy hugging looking very happy in the pictures.

One of the scenery attracted Mark’s attention as he had been there too. Then he got a shock when he studied the photo, the photo which Jade took with her boyfriend had Mark and his girlfriend in it too. Mark and his girlfriend’s side view were on the extremely right side of the picture.

Mark just laughed at his discovery. Fate has it that the four of them were actually at the same place at the same time.

Jade’s mum enters the room.

“I’ve packed her stuffs for her. It’s for 4 days right?”

“Yeah.. It shouldn’t be long”

“Ok, by the way. Her passport is at her drawer.”

“Thanks Auntie”
Mark reached for the drawer and found her passport.

There was a black and white photo in the drawer too.
It looked as the setting was in the train.

Mark picked up the photo.


It was him…

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书

Chapter 13

Do you still remember the first crush you ever had in your life?
The first time of experiencing mixed emotions, the anxiety and excitement when you saw that person. When that person is happy, you would smile along.

When that person is sad, you would not know what to do to cheer up.
Who was he/she?

Your neighbor? Your childhood playmate? Your classmate?

I believe most of us, if not all us will experience our first crush in our life. We won't realize it until we were much older.
When we finally find a reason to explain why we sometimes blushed out of no reason.

My first crush happened at the age of 10.
She was one of the taller girls in class.

I being the fattest and biggest sized will always partner her during our class.
We would sit side by side during lesson.

We would hold hands when the class is gathered to go to other areas.

We would exchange stationeries and cards. I knew she like pencils a lot so I would give her those extras that I purposely bought.

She would really think that I had extras. It was not something that she could not afford but would not spend her pocket money on.

I like her smile and happiness when she receives my small gifts. We even acted in a play together, being husband and wife at the last year of primary school.

Years passed, we went to the same secondary school and stay in the same class for 2 years before finally separated.

She got prettier as she grew up and had her fair share of male seekers.

As for me, I've never really told her I liked her before. Maybe it's because of this that we've stayed as good friends. Maybe it's because of this that she would still smile at me when she sees me.

And we will always have so much to talk about except my feelings for her.

Mark didn’t have a good sleep that night.

He was tossing and turning over the comments he saw in Sharon’s blog.

No doubt Sharon later explained in her later entries that it was only a joke. She had posted to see if anyone is really concern about her. She certainly has got what she want as there were more than 30 over comments showing concern.

What if it’s not a joke?

What if she really has the intention of killing herself?

What if she killed herself next time?

What can he do to help her?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was as usual for Mark as he traveled to his office.

As he enters the train, there was no sight of Jade around.

She must have taken leave I suppose”

Mark thought to himself as he sulked all the way to work.

Just as he reached the ground level, someone tapped his shoulder.

It was Christine.

“Hey.. What’s the matter with you? I called you a few times”

“Really?”

“Yeah.. Is something bothering you?”

Christine looked serious.

"Nah it’s just some small thoughts lingering in my head, I will be fine”

Mark replied as they stepped into the lift.

"Oh yeah.. You better be, Boss is very anxious about the presentation later..”

"Presentation?” Mark covered his mouth.

"YEAH? Don’t tell me you didn’t finished the proposal package?”

Christine stared at Mark.

"Shit!! I haven’t”

"Quick, there’s still time. Let’s quickly get it done.”

Christine pulled Mark out of the lift when it reached.

Shaun was again shell shock when he saw Christine pulling Mark in.

"OH my God… Oh my God…” Shaun held his hands to his head.

"Stupid Idiot. Don’t think too much. Want to think, think after the presentation.” Christine quickly went to her desk.

The three of them sped through the morning trying to get the proposal package ready for customer presentation at 11.00am.

Mark’s boss wasn’t very please when he knew it was not ready for his review.

However, Mark managed to finish the proposal package with Christine’s guidance and Shaun’s help in the nick of time.

Mark went in and gave a good presentation to the visiting customers and they applauded him warmly when he finished.

Even Mark boss was surprised with the proposal and couldn’t help but brought out a thumbs-up sign to him.

Christine was standing by his side as Mark winked at her.

Christine was at the pantry when Mark came in.

"Hey thanks.. You’ve help me again” Christine looked at him.

“No worries, Colleagues must help each other mah.. Besides I won’t know when I will need your help.”

“Can I buy you dinner?” Mark suddenly suggested.

“Why?” Christine was rather shocked by the suggestion.

“Because I don’t really like to owe people favors you know”

“Because you are egoistic?” Christine smiled.

“Yeah.. Yeah Whatever.. See you later” Mark walked out of the pantry.

“See you later..” Christine replied softly.

It was Friday evening as the clock continued to tick. .. It was a day of life reborn. When the time hit 6.00pm sharp, all the office staffs in the company had already packed their bags and roaring to go.

“Bro.. you not going off?” Shaun made his way out.

“Nah.. you go ahead.. I got to touch up this proposal and send to boss”

“Ok.. but make sure you don’t end up like our Super-woman there” Shaun pointing to Christine who was still engross in her work.

“Yeah.. you take care man.. enjoy your weekend.”

“You too…” Shaun replied as he left.

Mark stretched himself and checked around. All the staffs had left.

Then he walked over to Christine’s desk.

“So where do you want to go for dinner?”

Christine stopped her work and looked up. “Oh.. it’s still on?”

“Why not?”

“Ok.. Where do you want to go?” Christine started packing.

“Let’s go to East Coast?”

“Wow.. I didn’t know you were such romantic…” Christine cheekily made fun of him.

“No lah… East Coast is Cheaper.. It’s nearing month end.. ” The smile on Christine’s face was gone within seconds.

They hitch a cab and reached East Coast for dinner.

After dinner, Christine decided to go for a walk.

“Arhh… the sea breeze.. You know how long I hadn’t feel the breeze already?”

“You only know about work…”

“Thanks for the dinner anyway, it was really great.”

“It’s still early, you want to go for a drink?” Mark suggested.

“Nah.. I’ve got to go back office tomorrow..”

“But it’s a Saturday!! Get a life!”

“It’s really important…” Christine shrugged her shoulders.

“Then let me send you home?”

“Ok…” The both of them took the bus before changing to train as Christine lived Sengkang.

“You have a good night sleep ok?”

Mark tried to encourage her.

“It’s a wonderful night Mark, thanks” Christine said before the lift door closes.

As Mark walked out of the neighborhood, he heard someone screaming and crying from afar. It sounded like a woman. He took a step closer to find out where the cries were coming from.

“Stop treating me like this!!!” The women cried.

“Shut up bitch, You’ll do as what I say” The man slapped and kicked her.

“Ooi! What are you doing? Police” Mark shouted as he ran forward.

The man ran away in fright.

“Miss.. Miss… are you ok?” Mark tried to hold her up.

She was still covering her head and crying in fright.

“It’s ok now..” Mark held her hands…

The women was still shivering when Mark slowly moving her hands down. Mark looked at the women…

He too got a fright.

She was Jade…

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 12


“I love you dear”

Your lover brushes your hair as he/she tried to kiss you.
You asked out of curiosity because it’s the 19,784th times he/she had told you since the relationship starts.

“What do you love me for?”
Most people I know are physically attracted to the female species that they ‘hunt’ It could be their eyes, their smiles and naturally their bodies.

When a man decides that he like that someone, the first attraction would be to satisfy his sense of chauvinist ego.

The girlfriend must be able to bring the better side of him.
The girlfriend must know his likes and his hate.
The girlfriend must know all his friends and be sporting enough in front of them. Never show any temper or unpleasantness.
The girlfriend must also let him spend time with his buddies without knowing his whereabouts.

When a girl decides that she like that someone, the first attraction or maybe only attraction would be the guy would love her unconditionally.

Unconditionally means the guy must give in to her in all situations.
Unconditionally means the guy must pamper her, surprise her, call her every now and then, miss her, sings her birthday songs on her birthday, being romantic and funny.
The guy must also have a mega memory system to store in the exact time and location of 1st date, 1st time hold hands and 1st time kiss.

We know we can’t fulfill everything on the list. Anyone who could ought to be shot because he/she is practically showing to the world that it can be done.

At the end of the day, I love you because you are you.
Because you are trying your best to fulfill the above requirements.
And I know you are trying very hard…




The ambience at the chalet was romantic as the sound of singing could be heard from within.

“Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to Mark Lee! ~ Happy birthday to you!!”
The song ended with a peck on his cheek.

“Happy birthday 23rd birthday dear! Quick, blow the candles and make a wish”
Jade pestered as Mark tried to finish off 23 candles at one go.

“Thanks Dear” Mark replied the kiss.

“So what wish did you make?”

“Am I supposed to tell you? Anyway my three year wish is half complete already”
Jade looked at him confused.

“I wished you were my girlfriend for my 21st birthday, it came true last year. Then I wished you will stay as my girlfriend on my 22nd birthday and you did despite the quarrels and arguments we had.”

“So you still wish I’m your girlfriend next year?” Jade making her guess.

“Don’t wanna tell you!” Mark displayed his resilient.

“Ok loh…” Jade grabbed a portion of the cake and smear it on his face.
Mark returned the favor and the cake was pretty much wasted and uneatable after the couple’s tussle.

The two of them lie on the bed after the washed up.

“Dear…” Jade asked.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you like me?”

“Because you have an angelic face with a devilish body that any guys will die to go with?”
There was a grin on Mark’s face.

“Is that what all guys want?”

“Nope… but it sure is nice to have!”

“No tell me honestly…” Jade sounded serious this time.

“Ok… I like you because you looked demure most of the time yet when it comes to enjoying you are bubbly fun, loving. You are always here for me. You understand me and mature enough to forsake my childishness some times.”

“I’m really glad to have known you”
Mark added as he brushed her hair.

“Is this what you like in women? So if one day another girl with the same attributes as you mention, will you fall for her?”

“I guess not...”

“Why?”

“Because I have you. You are irreplaceable.”

“Dear, I’m glad to have to known you too”
Their eyes exchange contact followed by a passionate long kiss.
The moon was covered by the clouds as much as their innocent youth.
His 23rd birthday wish had come true... within an hour.


“Sir… Sir” Sharon looked at Mark.

“Mark?”

“Yeah… Yeah”
Mark returned from his ‘time travel’ from his memory.

“We are closing already” Sharon smiled at him and left to clear other tables.
It was half past nine on his watch.

Mark quickly packed his laptop when he realized that he was the only customer left in the café.

“Mark?”
Sharon called out to him before he left.

“Yes Sharon?”

“Is there anything wrong? I saw you in a daze just now”

“It’s ok, nothing really. I can manage”

“Ok… feel free to drop by if you need someone to talk”

“Nah... it will affect your job”

“It’s ok; my boss normally goes off at dinner time and only return about now to close the accounts”

“Thanks, you really make my day”
Mark replied before he left.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was close to eleven when Mark finally reached home and had a shower.
As he sat down on his computer table.

His thoughts were still on the question asked by Psyche.

“What sort of women do you really like?”

Finally he replied to the tag board.

“The girl whom I liked was someone demure yet lively when it comes to having fun. She was mature and understanding to love and care for me.”

“I suppose that’s what Jade used to be”
The reply came within minutes.

Before Mark could react, another tag came along.
“Do you think you can find another person like Jade?”

“Nope I can’t because she is irreplaceable”

“Irreplaceable or are you afraid to commit to another relationship?”
Finally, someone knew how he felt all along.

“Psyche, who are you? Why are you doing this to me? Every question you ask will stir great emotions in me. I’m trying to let go of the past yet every time you have to rack it all up again”

“You are not letting go, you are only hiding from the past.”
Psyche replied.

“Do I know you? Do you even exist? Can we meet up?”

Mark was more than eager to know the identity of Psyche. Somehow he felt that Psyche is related to him in a way. A way he could not explain. It was as if Psyche had see through his heart, his mind and everything of him.

"The moment is not right for us to meet now, we will finally meet one day. Its only a matter of when"
Came the reply.

Mark waited awhile before he realized it was her last entry again.

He then got up and stretched himself before decided to head for bed.
Something on the floor caught his eye.

It was the serviette which Sharon had pass to him.
The thought of her brought out a smile in him as he decided to visit her blog.

It was a nicely decorated blog with pink floral designed skin.
There were a lot of entries, photos, songs and video displayed.

As Mark scrolled down the blog, he sped through the entries.
Most of them were talking about the gossips revolving her colleagues and friends.
Then he found an unusual entry.

“Today he did it again. I never know why he had to do it. Why must he treat me like this? Have I done anything wrong in the past to deserve all these? I hate myself because I do not have the courage to face him. I do not even have the courage to face myself. The bottle of sleeping pills… when will I ever have the courage to finish it up?”

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 11


The two of you were walking back as he pestered to send you home after the movie date. The night was silent and clear.
As he clears his throat, he asked,
“Can you be my girl? ”
“Can I hold your hand every time we go out?”

Do you still remember how you were asked to be someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend?

Whatever how the question was pop out.
Wherever the location it was.
It could be over the phone, it could be by the beach.
It could also be in school.

You will remember, no matter where, when and how,

The day you were asked to go into a relationship.

You will be surprised the moment you were asked, even though you already knew you would be someday.
You just didn’t know when.

It was now.
You had the choice. You made the choice.

The decision gave birth to a new relationship, registered under the laws of yours. You have given half of your life to the person whom you feel loves you the most.

You demand attention; day in day out because you feel you deserved it. You expect to be treated like a king/queen, as all your desires must be fulfilled within his/her abilities. You demand that he spend all his time with you rather than his/her group pathetic friends.

Until, he/she stopped giving you attention all together.
Then you questioned his/her love for you.

“If you love me, you should do this for me”
He/She would probably have a question in their minds too.

“If you love me, would you do this me?”







“I beg your pardon?”
Jade sounded confused as she pushed up her specs.

“Oh… I just ask you what’s your view on ‘Love’, you know like “what is love to you?””
Mark tried to salvage the situation.
He knew he almost blew it, how can he ask someone whom he barely know this question?

“Oh... that kind of question..”
Jade sounded relieved too.

“I couldn’t remember when was the last time I was in love. All I know is love is something that can bring your emotions to the extreme. You can be the happiest woman on one minute yet the saddest person the next. I really don’t know about love”

Jade then tried to look away from Mark.
But Mark already saw the redden eye before she tried to hide.

“Oh well... Life sucks huh?”
Mark tried to steer the ship back in navigation before it crashes.

“Yeah… it really sucks... If only I had more courage.”

“More courage for??”

“Nothing...”
Jade still looked away.

“Next Stop Raffles Place Interchange”
Came the announcement.

“It’s my stop, I ought to be going”

“Ok. Me too”

Jade walked ahead of Mark and soon mixed into the out going crowd.
Mark was walking slowly behind.

He boarded a cab and travel back to his office.

Then he realized.
“Shit! Why didn’t I ask for her number?!”

It was about 10.30 when Mark finally reached office.

“Bro! You are the luckiest bastard in the universe!”
Shaun greeted Mark as he sit down.

“How come? Did I win anything?”

“Boss is sick… so nobody knows you were late!”

Christine walked over and gathered the two of them.

“Hey, boss is sick but there’s a few report we need to rush for him. He needs it when he’s back”

“I seriously wonder, are we busier when boss is around or when he’s not?”
Shaun sarcastically whined.

Christine frowned as she passed two stacks of files each to Shaun and Mark.

As she laid the files on Mark’s desk, there was a memo pad stick on top of the files.

“Are you ok? Chris”

Mark looked at Chris before she left.
She looked back.

Mark gave her the thumbs up and quick winked.
Christine smiled back and left.

“Man.. I really can’t stand her at times”
Shaun started backstabbing sessions.

“Well.. if you put the energy you used to whine into kinetic energy in doing work.. you will definitely achieve more!”

“Bro, since when you become so sarcastic?”

“Since the day I learn from the Master himself!”

The rest of the day was raining and everyone had their fair share of workload, even though the efficiency was only 50%.

“Where are you heading?”
Shaun asked as he finished packing up at the dot of six.

“Home? I suppose”
Mark continued to pack up as Shaun walked past him.

“Spoilsport.. Spoilsport… ”
Shaun uttered as he left the office.

The rain finally stopped when Mark step out of the office.
Feeling hungry, he opts to go to the café to grab a quick bite before going home.

His entrance was greeted by the smile of the oncoming waitress.

“Hello Sir, Welcome back”

Mark looked at her badge. It spelled Sharon.
Then he remembered she was the one who served him the other day.

Mark ordered some sandwiches and coffee for dinner.

While waiting to be served, Mark took out his laptop and carry on doing his report. Instead of doing his report, Mark was entering his blog entry.

“Today is a strange day. I met this lady onboard the train again. It was almost the sixth hundred times that I saw her since the first day. However it was only the second time we’ve ever communicate. Her name is Jade. She carries the same name as my ex-girlfriend. Is this what people call fate? Destiny? Would she replace her one-day?

Although no one is there to tell me, I wish I know the answer.
What is right? What is wrong?”

Mark stopped typing and shifted his laptop when Sharon served him the drinks.

“Sir, you blogged too?”

“Yeah… Am I too old for that?” Mark tried to hide his embarrassment.
“Nonsense, there’s no age limit for anything. It’s great to have an online journal you know. A place where you can write the darkest things.”

“So Sharon… you blog too?”

“Yup! All my friends blog too. It’s like our form of communications nowadays. Maybe it’s a sign of telling others we are still alive when we post our daily events on cyberspace.”

“Sir, Do you mind giving me your blog address?”
Sharon asked.

“Don’t call me Sir, it makes me feel old you know. I’m Mark.. incase you’ve forgotten.”

“I’ve not forgotten lah! Just being nice mah”
The bubbly girl couldn’t hide her cheerfulness.

As he wrote down his blog address on a piece of serviette, Mark gave a bright smile. It was something that Mark missed a long time.
The innocence youthfulness he once had.

“Here you go”
Mark handed over the piece of serviette.

“Hee.hee.. here’s my blog.”
Sharon quickly wrote on another serviette before she literally jumped to the next table to clear up.

“http://smiles-a-million.blogspot.com”

“Such a cheerful person”

Mark finished up his sandwich and shifted his laptop back to his view.
Before his fingers could type onto the address bar, Mark stopped as he realized that there was a tag on his tagboard again.

“What sort of women do you really like?”

Signed, Psyche.

[To be Cont]

Book of Love 爱神の书


Chapter 10



If there is machine which could tell you how much you are in love for this person whom you claim you could die for.

Would you dare to take the test?

Would you want to know how much you really love the person?

What if the results aren’t as good as you hope?
Does it mean you do not love the person anymore?

I believe the power of love fluctuates very frequently.
The start of a tiff and tussle over the place for dinner could see the love meter fell like stock market.

However,
After intense verbal apologies and actions to show your sincerity, the love meter will climb back gradually.

Every other minute will affect the love meter.

When you miss him, it will increase.
But when you realized that he doesn’t miss you as much, it will decrease.
When he buys you your favorite shoes, it will increase.
But when he tells you your collection of shoes can hold an exhibition, it will decrease again.

Love is immeasurable.
Sometimes it’s ironic but how you treat a person does not truly reflects your affections to him/her.

It still boils down to individual level of creativity and efforts.
Some people would do more than others.
Some would prefer his/her partner to do more than is expected.

So the love of the one who’s holding your hand is actually determined by you.


How you want to be treated.
Did he/she cook you breakfast?

How you want things to happen in your way.
Did he/she cuddle you to sleep?

The next time you tell a person “I don’t think you love me”
Ask yourself this question.

“What have you done for him/her?
Did you meet his/her requirements?
Did you do the things that he/she would want you to do?”

But you can’t answer those questions as he/she should be the one answering.



Mark woke up to the sound of thunder before his alarm.
He got up against his will from his warm bed.
It was raining outside the window as he drew the curtains.

“Oh.. It finally raining”

Mark washed up and heads for the morning route.

“I always think it’s better to take public transport than to drive”
Mark thought as he enters the LRT from Bukit Panjang.

Mark had to make a decision when the LRT transit at Choa Chu Kang.
“Should I go to front or rear cabin today?”

Mark looked at his watch.
He was already 15minutes later than usual.

“Guess I won’t be able to see her today”
Mark gave up as he went for his preferred rear section of the train.

It was more crowded in rainy days than usual.

Maybe everyone was reluctant to come out from their home for work or school. Then the drivers call in sick and there’s insufficient drivers for the bus and trains in the rainy morning.

With the crowd increasing and the train/bus frequency reducing, this would most logical way of explaining morning traffic jams.

There was a smile on Mark’s face as he was impressed with himself over this theory.

When the train reached Yishun, Mark tried to push himself out of the crowd. There was a group of middle age women happily blocking his path.
His efforts came to a waste when the door finally closes on him.

“ Idiot! All these inconsiderate people ought to be shot.”
Mark let out a sighed.

“Missed your station?”

Mark turned back.
His aggression had melted to the owner of the voice.

It was Jade.
She was at the rear section today.
Mark couldn’t believe his luck.

“Don’t worry, the next stop is not far away”
Jade smiled as she shared some comfort.

“It’s ok, I’m going to visit our clients today. At first wanted to go back office to submit some paperwork but since I was blocked out then it’s ok”

There was a moment of silence among them.
Mark knew he had explained too much, far too much.
Lying is not one of his best acts in front of a girl.
Mark had to continue from his plot.

“Yeah.. So I will be going to Raffles place instead”
Mark wanted to smack his head.

“Why not Cityhall station? Why had to be Raffles place? Isn’t it too obvious?”
Mark’s mind was crying out loud.

“Oh.. Really? Guess we can chat more today”

Mark felt relieved, not because that he was great at telling a lie but she had actually believes what he said.

The man beside her got up at the next station and she offered Mark to take up the empty seat.

“Hey thanks, so how’s your day?”
Mark trying to soak in.

“I’m late… is that a great way to begin your day?”
Jade smiled.

“It’s ok, if your boss asks you why you were late. You just have to tell her that waking up later ensures adequate amount of rest and that will lead to less accounting mistakes.”
Mark tried to fake a laugh but soon realized it wasn’t funny.

“Is that how you tell your boss every time you late?”

“Nope, I just tell him I’m sick…. Sick of work…”
Jade finally laughed.

The thin ice between them had shattered.

“So Jade, you like to read a lot?”

“What do you think I carry a book everyday in the train for? To whack those perverts? Hee hee…”

“Oh… here we go again.. please don’t rub it in can? I’m hurt enough”
Mark trying to forget the peeping tom incident.

“So what sort of books you read? Romance? Science-fiction? I don’t really know what sort of categories are there. I’m not a hardcore reader myself.”

“Ha… I read everything that is interesting. It can be Mitch Albom’s for one more day, Stephen Covey’s Seven effective habits and even childhood favorite Roald Dahl”

“Yeah.. Roald Dahl I know… hahhaa guess we do have something in common after all”


“Yeah…”
Jade pushed up her specs.

“So what book you reading now?”

“Oh.. it’s about Greek Mythology.. you know those ancient roman gods and goddess… Hercules.”

Mark couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
“I know I know! I’ve read them too!”

“Really?”
Jade looked at him surprisingly.

“Yeah… so which Roman god or goddess interests you the most?”
Mark knew he had just struck gold.

“Psyche… you know her?”

“Wife of Eros?”

“Yeah.. you actually know her… You know not many I know heard of her. Majority only knows Eros and Aphrodite.”

“I know Psyche. I’ve read about her stories with Eros”

“Yeah… Its really sad to be tricked in marrying the ‘ugliest’ creature but turned out to be Eros instead.”

“Maybe that’s what love is all about?”

“Pardon?”
Jade looked at Mark.

Mark looked at Jade.
Something prom him to ask this question. It was not the first time he was asked. But it was the first time he asked someone.

“Jade”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know love?”

[To be Cont]