Chapter 4
[ A part of Lost Memory ]

It seems funny that some friends can lose contact over and over again without realizing how long. Maybe it’s the daily routine that made us behave this way. When we were young, it was always “friend” first. We could do anything any day for a friend. As we grow older, “friends” seem a distant word as we spend time for family, sometimes colleagues after work. Have you ever know someone all your life? Someone who studied in the same school throughout your education lifespan? If you do…

[When was the last time the group of you sits down and enjoys a cup of coffee & talk over the moon? ]


"So... how's life been going for you, Janice? I mean, look at you. A totally different person. What happen? You were abducted by Aliens or something?"

Ken bubbled with excitement.

"If that's your way of complimenting that I’m pretty then I will accept it without any guilt!"
Janice replied while taking a sip of coffee.

"We've all changed, Ken.... you, me and everyone around us... its whether you realized it or not that five years have past…"

There was a moment of silence from Ken.

"Looks like we've never stayed in contact after that incident…so how are you these years Janice?"

Ken tried not to look into Janice’s eyes, maybe he was still guilty about the incident that happened 5 years ago when they were still in University together.

“Its ok Ken, although I wish I could literally kill you during those times when Daphne kept insisting that we had something together and calling me a ‘slut’.
Thinking back, guess I was a bit too childish to get angry over such comments also. ”

“…. I’m sorry…”

Ken guessed that was the only words that were appropriate at the moment.

”…for ?”

”For what Daphne did, she shouldn’t have raised her hand towards you..”

“Its ok Ken, like what I’ve said, I was a bit childish to agitate her too. Looking back, it seems only like yesterday that we sat down and talked about this… Argh~~.. It’s been 5 years already… “

Janice stretched herself.

“What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger right Ken? Anyway Daphne is going to be my ‘Da Sao’ soon so I guess I have to start respecting her.”

“I don’t think you need to.. anyway Daph and I didn’t last as long as you would expect, we broke up 3 years ago…”

“What?~!?~?” Janice almost choked on her pasta.

“That’s very enterprising.. then what are you meeting me for? I thought you would want to pass me your wedding invitation.??”

“Oh… yeah I almost forgot my real intention too. Are you still in contact with the girls back during Secondary school?”

“Anyone in particular?”

“Anyone with the Christian name that starts with ‘S’ and Surname with ‘M’? Or vice versa?”

“Wah… why you need that for?”

“Well, you won’t understand even if I would to tell you, you won’t believe even if I would to show you, you won’t accept if I would to explain to you”

“Ok… ok.. stop confusing me… Let me think…There’s Sally Mok… Samantha Ma, Melody Su, Mabel Soo and Sophie Maniz Lee. If you include her middle name… ”

Ken went into deep thoughts……

“Other than the 3 which I thought, there’s Melody See… and Mabel Soo… wait a minute, who’s Mabel Soo???”

“Hey Janice, who’s Mabel Soo??? Why I don’t any impression of her?”

“What you mean you don’t know her? She’s my best buddy ok? And come to think of it, you almost ruined her life during our school days!!”

Janice burst out laughing.. ignoring the attention that she got from the whole restaurant.

“Of course you don’t know Mabel Soo.. but guess you won’t forget her chinese name…”
“Please stop irritating me Janice and tell me who is she…”

“Her chinese name is Liao Liao. And you always called her “Su Liao Liao” – “Lose Everything” in translation…remember now?”

A bolt of static could have struck Ken’s brain as he felt some numbness in him…

Could it be her? Mabel Soo is SM43?

[To be cont…]

Chapter 3
[ A lost friend ]

“hey Janice, its me Ken! How's life been good for you?”
“Ken? Which Ken?”
“eh.. the one whom you regard as a brother during secondary school times?”
“Oh.. Ken Kuan... from sec 4H..”
“yups! You are right... you didn't forget me yeah ?”
“No.. i didn't.. but I guess you've forgotten the time....”
Ken looked at his clock, its almost midnight already....
“hey.. i'm really sorry to bother you at this moment, cos i'm too excited at this moment...”
“about what? What does it got to do with me?” Janice seemed hostile.

“I guess its abit too vague to tell you everything over the phone at this moment and with you only half awake.. can we meet up tomorrow?”
“okie, please give me a call after work okie? Promise you'll pick me up..”
“okie, let's confirm the time tomorrow okie?”
“okie Ken.. goodnight...”
“just one more thing Janice...”
“yeah what now?!”
“Before the clock strikes twelve.. just wanna wish you a happy valentine's day....hope it isn't too late...”
“Its too late brother!... but happy valentine's day to you too...”

Ken put down the phone.. The clock had just struck twelve as the house was filled with the sounds of coo-coo. The time was 00:01 15th February 2007.
It had been a unbelievable valentine's day this year... maybe he will get lucky if he finds his sercert admirer, maybe next year's valentine's day, he will not be alone... anymore...

Everything seems to be going in his way during his work as Ken easily past through tons of documents and put his plans into place.

Sooner enough, knocking off never seems so early in his life.

Ken received a sms, it was from Janice...
“Hey bro, when are you picking me up?
My workplace is at Suntec by the way .”
“06.30pm if you're okie...” Ken replied.
“okie, see you there”

Ken arrived just in time after fighting through the gates of gantries with a whole parade of cars at the waiting lobby. He didn't see Janice anywhere in sight as he alight to have a better view.
There was still no sight of Janice anywhere..

Ken got a little pissed and just about to call her when he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Ken Kuan Kuan Kuan Kuan” each “Kuan” with a different tone in hanyu pinying.
Nobody in the world would have called him that... except Janice.
Ken almost dropped his phone when he turned back.

The nerdy specs is gone,
The short spikey hair have grown...
Jeans have traded for skirt...
Canvas for heels...

Five years isn't a long time to forget someone but to see the same person in a totally different style is almost unbelievable.
“Eh... Janice?”
“Abuthen or you were hoping for some chicks to pick you up?
Wait long long arh...!!”
“Goodness.. at least the character is still the same...”
“What were you saying??? I only talk this way infront of you okie? Nobody in my office will have a chance in their lifetime to see me behaving this way”
“Let's talk over dinner okie?”

Ken drove his car away with a smile. It looks as if he have rediscover an old friend... someone whom he can always count on... and what a blessing in disguise that she have become so different.

[To be cont]

--{ A Lost Valentine }--

~~{Prologue}~~

Everybody knows Valentine ’s Day falls on the 14th of February. Nobody ever needs to tell you it's a special day, even though the government doesn't recognize it as a holiday. Yet strange thing is, everybody seems to indulge into the very existence of this day.

For this very day gives the feeling of acceptance by the very special someone deep in our heart. Someone whom we openly pour our emotions, and showered with love. The joy of receiving a Valentine's Day card is unexplainable with excitement bursting through the veins. What if the card you received is late…

after 10 years.?

Chapter 2

[ The Letter from the past ]

“Good evening, this is the evening news from Singapore. Over to local headlines, 99 couples gathered at the registrar of marriage to embark on this very special day of love as they took their vowed witness by their family & friends… Prices of roses is sky rocketing to an intriguing $25 per stalk......”

“Argh.. boring news and all these crazy people out there who don't have better things to do..”

Ken moaned as he begin his rounds of channel surfing.

“So what if today's Valentine's Day?, so what if I don't have anyone to accompany me go out? So what if I think guys going out on Valentine's Day is a sissy thing.”
Seems like the whole world is in love, maybe not. Not today, not in this tiny place where I’m don't seems to belong in.

Thoughts wondered through the thin air as Ken laid the living room.
“Dad & Mom are having their 3rd honeymoon, how enterprising. I ought to go out and have a breather too” Ken thought as he head into the showers.
It is a good day today, maybe the heavens didn't want to sink the hearts of truly, madly, deeply beloved couple who live today like it was the last day of their life.

As Ken walked past his letterbox, something tingled in his body to open up.

"No way, there's going to be a letter for me on this day" Ken sighed.
As Ken opened the letterbox, something yellowish caught his attention within the pile of advertisment & brochure. Not only the letter caught his eyes, the stamps used was also made Ken most particular.

It was a 15 cent yellow flowered stamp.

"That's strange, thought the price for local mails is coming to 30cents already?"

Ken looked at the letter once more... the chop on the stamp was 1997 instead of 2007

A Letter dated 10 years ago? To me on a Valentine's Day?
Is it a joke or something? How can this be happening to me?

Ken re-examine the stamp once more. There were no mistakes, the stamp chop was indeed from year 1997. The mailman couldn't be wrong, even if they do, they won't have made such a huge mistake as such.

Adrenaline rushed through his body as Ken opened the letter.
Out of the envelope came a yellowish folded letter. He wondered where the letter had been all along these years as he slowly can carefully unfold the letter.

Ken have never seen the handwriting before… but the neatly arranged paragraph and words spacing was one of the nicest he had ever saw in his life.

Only a computer would have such nice writing..

“Hi Ken.. or maybe I should call you Pig head with a pea brain,

You won’t have guessed that you will receive a Valentine’s day letter will you?
Yeah right, not in this life that is.

You’ll never noticed about the girls around you.
Maybe you were gay and like guys more.
Maybe you think nobody will like you..
Maybe you think all the good girl out there have already been taken up?

Guess what? You are wrong all along!
I’m a good girl,
not only consider myself pleasant looking but also having personalities.!

Most importantly, I’m always around you, through good times & bad.

I was there on your first day of school.
I was there when you failed your 1st mid-year exams.
I was there when you went to the chapel and cried.
I was there when you enjoyed the camping trip.
I was there when you got punished by the vice principal to apologize on stage.
I was there when you lost in your basketball & table tennis.

I was there… always did.. always will..

Being a secret admirer is indeed torturing as I can’t bear the looks of your happiness with other girls & yet I can’t stand seeing you all alone.

On this 14th Feb 1997 Valentine’s Day, I’ve pluck up all the courage that I never think I could to tell you this.

I like you, Ken, I really do…
But I can’t bear the sight of looking at you when telling you this.. therefore I choose this letter to be my confider, my representative.

If you accept me, please come to the school gate tonight at 9.00pm.
I will wait for you….
Just like I’ve always been

If I never see you, it will mean that you do not intend to accept me, therefore I will carry on my life without you.
Just like I’ve always been.

Luv,

S(43)M,
12th Feb 1997 "

Who in the world is SM43 ? Why did she know so much about me?
It should be one of the girls back at school.. but how to find her now?

Ken just can’t stop thinking about all the possible names that might be her..

Belinda? Pamela? Sharon? Karen? Shirley?

Wait.. what’s with the sign off name …. “S43M”
It doesn’t make sense to be a name..

‘S’ is the christen name with ‘M’ as surname?
If that’s the case…. Who in the world will that person be???

Samantha Ma? Sally Mok?
Oh… wait, maybe she was a mixed?
Sophie Maniz Lee

What’s with the “43” ? … is that some kind of class register or something..

With all the possible indications that Ken have, there was no way that he could ever find the mail sender, even if he did… he won’t know what to tell her…

Tell her that the mail was only delivered today? 14th Feb 2007… 10 years after it was sent out? How illogical can this be and how many people will actually believe him?

“hey Janice, its me Ken! How's life been good for you?”

Ken seek for help as he called one of his ex-classmate, Janice.
Janice was like a “brother” to him as she was less feminine than the rest of the girls and it was all along rumored that she was a lesbian. ...

[ To be cont.. ]

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 6]

Name :- MArk Lee Yee Siang

Last saw :- Jan 2007..

Venue :- The road below my apartment
where he passed me the Lay’s Potato Chips

Expected to be :- Somewhere in ASM as Customer Service Engineer


“Hello! I’m not the same MArk Lee as the Mediacorp artist & yes I’m much more good looking than him”

This phrase caught me a few times as people came up to him with this lame assumption.

I’ve known Mark since Poly days but never really closed until we met up in our part time class in PSB Academy. I didn’t know he was in the same course as I until the first day of class and so we clicked like old friends reunion.

The 2½ years during my pursued of my Degree was properly one of the most stressful times I ever had.

Mark & I went through a lot of Pre-Exams Anxiety together but always we would talk cock rather than really put our hearts into the preparations. Of course, we didn’t do really well either, much to our expectations when we first set out to achieve.

Perhaps one of the times which I would remember for along time is during our trip to Australia, New South Wales for our 1-week lab attachment in 2002 & 2003.

The road trip was quite a remarkable one and the fact that it caught us in a situation for our ELEC3230 lab report was even more unforgettable.

Till this day, we still don’t know who sold us out that day & even though we put our claims towards one person, it remains one of the life mysteries which we will never have the answer.

Whenever we are together, no matter how long we have not seen each other or even lost contact, sheer cockness will struck upon whenever or whereever we start our conversation again. This is what people may call chemistry perhaps.

No matter how many people used to tell me how they think you will not be able to make it. I reckon you will because you are the one who tell me this…

“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Luke 11:9

Hope you have found a new meaning in life… Amen.

Anntonii ZeniX Lim

29th April 2007

[ - The day I swallowed my pride - ]

Pride, often a word that people talk about and how some of them actually fought and died over it in the past. I just felt I lost my pride the other day.

You see, I grow up without having any problems financially. To put it to a point that I've hardly ever borrowed any money from friends before.

So I didn't realize how difficult it is to open your mouth to ask for something taboo which people will change their perspective towards you.

"What's the problem?" most of them asked,
And so it began that people starts to probe into my problem rather than telling me whether or not they can spare some cash. It the end, they got their satisfaction by knowing the problem never mind how bad situation I was in.

Some of the people I've asked are those who've known me for many many years.
Times like this, I would have at least hoped for people to pull me through when you realized you only have $30 to last a week.

In the end, it was my colleagues who helped me pull through to my payday.
In the end, I understand how importance it is to have cash flow.
In the end, nobody whom I “expected” would have helped, did anything.

My current situation did turn for the better but that didn’t mean I’ve got out of my debts.
To put it in a way, I don’t really need people’s help at this point of time.

I asked myself, would I help other people when they required any financial assistance next time?
I don’t know,
But one thing for sure, I won’t be asking them why they need the money.

I’ll just simply reply an “ok” or “sorry can’t support”

And I will never take anyone for granted that they are supposed to help me.

The worse may have been over but I will never forget the time which I swallowed my pride.
Glad it didn’t choked on me.

Anntonii Zenix Lim

6th April 2007

[ People Whom I’ll never forget - 5 ]

Name :- Ken Guan Zhen Hong

Last saw :- December 2006..Venue :- LaiChee’s Wedding Dinner

Expected to be :- Somewhere in Lenovo as Product Manager


Zhenhong, as I’m not used to calling him preferred ‘Ken’, is someone whom I’ve known since secondary one days.. around 1991.

Mention “Bermuda Triangle” and it might ring a bell among the three of us, including Aaron.We were in the same class during sec 1, and often being plucked at by Mrs Charlotte Heng, our then form teacher.

ZhenHong was the richer guy I know, cos he has got addition income of $120 per month on top of his allowance. That money was suppose to be for his tuition but he sacked his tutor and never told his parents.

Maybe because of this new found richness that he could afford to give me a present of a Ixis Wallet (Green/black) so that everyone of us could carry an Ixis around.

The most memorable times is that we shared failure together, during the first semester of seconardy 1.

I’ve got 49.9 for my English. (yeah, when you failed English, you failed Everything..) He’s got 49.9 for overall. (yeah, so what if he passed his English?)

We sat in the chapel of our school for reflectness and sort of grief for our misbehaviour perhaps. And so it did, we passed our year 1 and managed to get on with our academic path. Then on, we did not have the chance to be studied in the same class ever again.

He’s the one who taught me how to play majong and our usual gatherings while skipping school would end up either in his house playing majong or at the arcade plying on Street Fighter 2.

Time have passed since the days when we get together.

ZhenHong has got himself a good wife in Shumei where the story of them could be rewrote in a soap drama. Currently Shumei is expecting their first baby.

Our gatherings are getting lesser each year, maybe age & family responsibility has caught up with time. But deep down, I’m glad I ever have this wonderful friend.

Someone who shared a great deal of memories during my secondary school days.

Someone whom I’ll still call Zhen(1), Zhen(2), Zhen(3), Zhen(4) Hong…

Anntonii Zenix Lim