Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密 Chapter 15
Hi, can I tell you something?
Can you promise not to tell anyone?
Why?
Because it’s a secret.
I believe a lot of us grew up listening to this sentence.
It was so common during our younger days when we felt that secrets were something which is very special and should not be told to another person unnecessarily.
Instead, our secrets were traded.
"I’ll only tell you my secret if you tell me yours, first”
To our young and innocent minds, we often believed that secrets we said will not be told to another person. How wrong we were.
As we grew older, we don’t believe in that anymore.
We will feel that a secret is something which we will only tell certain people.
Perhaps we would only let our parents, our love ones or a very best friend know.
There are times however we realized that even our very best friends would not keep the secret that we entrusted to them.
We felt the hurt when someone else came to us asking about it.
As we entered adulthood, our secrets became a very personal thing.
These secrets are something which might has happened to us a long time ago. It could have been something unpleasant, something that we don’t want to rake it up all over again. It could have been a past relationship which you would not want your present partner to know.
For whatever reason it may be, we won’t really want to talk about it.
And so we sealed & locked our secrets away, buried deep inside our hearts.
Fearing that we do not have the courage to face it.
As more secrets were buried, our hearts slowly become a hurt locker waiting yearning for attention.
Over a while, we tend to forget about them and move on with life.
Until something happened that made us think back and pondered over the secrets that we buried deep.
What sort of secrets do you have?
Will you tell someone or will you bring it to you grave?
Will you smile knowing that it’s safe because no one else knows about it.
All of us have secrets, deep inside our hearts.
We kept them deep not because we don’t want anyone to find out, we are only waiting for the right person to tell…
“Dad?”
The silence broke as they were walking out to the taxi stand.
“yeah?” Janet’s father replied.
“You sure you can help me keep an eye on him?” Janet asked
“Sure, he will be alright” Her father reassured her.
“Promised to sms me if he wakes up?”
“Well, you ought to have a good rest you know. You have classes tomorrow?”
“No… promise me…” Janet rise out her hand showing her last finger.
Janet’s father was caught by her actions.
“Even though you had broken the promise once…”
It was something that they would do when she was a little girl.
“Daddy, promise me that you will love me and mummy always”
A little Janet would always ask her father to cross his last finger with her, he never really understand why is there a need. After he crossed his fingers, Janet would run in joy to her mother’s side.
“Mummy, Daddy promised with his pinky!”
Her mother will kiss her last finger to acknowledge the promise, the promise she deemed broken the day when they were divorced.
He smiled as he looked at his daughter. It’s been a while since the last time he had a good look at her. She certainly takes after her mother and had already grown up so much.
No matter how old she is, she will always remain as Daddy’s little girl.
He never really broken his pinky promise as he never stopped loving the two of them.
“Alright, I will sms you the first moment he wakes up”
He raised his last finger to make the cross.
“First, I would need to settle my admission here. I requested to be discharged so that I can readmit here in SGH. They still need to run some ECG scan tomorrow to confirm I’m alright”
A taxi arrived the moment they reached the stand.
“Dad, please take care of yourself”
He smiled as she got in.
“If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you ensure I study hard and lock me in?”
Janet looked into his eyes.
His smiled got wider.
“I will….”
His eyes looked upon the taxi as it drove off towards the exit.
It was way past midnight when Janet’s father came back wearing the patient’s attire.
The corridor was cold and quiet as the two men stood outside the Intensive Care Unit room.
Edwin’s father kept staring at Edwin in hoping for a slightest response while Janet’s father was looking through his mobile phone for work updates.
“Sir… I just want to say thank you”
Janet’s father was taken aback by the breaking of the silence.
“Sorry Sir, I’m not an educated man, I don’t know what other words I can used to express my thanks for contacting me and sending me here”
Edwin’s father looked at him with his eyes reddened.
Janet’s father gave a pat on his shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it”
“Mr, you can go home actually, I’ll be fine here with my son”
Edwin’s father felt a little bit guilty.
“Oh it’s ok; I’ve already transferred here from SGH. In fact I’m still under observation for my recent heart attack. The doctors helped to arrange for me to transfer here so that they can conduct more test tomorrow”
“I’m sorry that I have to bother you”
Janet’s father smiled back.
“Don’t be, we are fathers. I understand how you feel now. In fact I just get to know your son; he came with Janet to see me when I was hospitalized.”
“Your son… is a very bright child”
“Eh... yes he is. I’m very proud of him. He is nothing like me”
“How can you say that?” Janet’s father was surprised by his negative comments.
“I’ve no education, no skills, and no knowledge. I don’t know anything about the world; I don’t even know how many countries are there in Asian. The furthest place I’ve been is Genting with his late mother”
“Sometimes… I think my children despised and look down on me”
Edwin’s father tried to look away as his eyes started to get watery.
“You know what makes a good father?”
Janet’s father looked at him.
“I know, a good father is one who earns a lot of money and give them the best that he can afford. A big house, a big car and all the latest computers or things that their friends have”
Edwin’s father voiced roughened while thinking about his daughter Meiyee.
“You really think so?”
Edwin’s father nodded.
“Do you think my daughter is proud of me as a father?”
“Why not? You are so capable and must be earning a lot of money”
Edwin’s father replied almost immediately.
“You’re wrong, she’s not proud of me. In fact she kinds of hate me to the core”
“How can she do that? You worked so hard to maintain this family, to pay for all the expenses”
Edwin’s father was confused that his understanding was not proven.
“Sometimes we think of the things that we don’t have and believe by having it we will be happy.” Janet’s father looked at Edwin’s father in the eye.
“Sometimes the things we really need are actually with us all along.”
“My elder daughter moved out of our house because she hates being poor. I don’t see there’s anything good with our broken shop house”
Edwin’s father lowered his head.
“Even if you were rich, will you move away from your broken shop house?”
Edwin’s father shook his head.
“Why?”
“Because it is the place where I first met my wife, it is the place where we fell in love and it is the place where both my children were born. It is also place where I last seen her, the last time when I held her hand as she lay in my arms.”
“Because it is a place where you call home” Janet’s father simplified his believes.
“I’m sure she will understand one day”
“A father is the pillar of the house, the one who supports his family both financially and emotionally. We cannot be down or look down on ourselves just because we are not better than someone else. “
Janet’s father paused before continued.
“My daughter hates me because she thought I had driven my wife away. I don’t see a need to explain or let her know the truth, I can’t bear to see the image of my wife destroyed in the eyes of her. ”
“So I built a fence around her and want her to concentrate on her studies for her own good. I can’t be with her forever right…”
“She’s already lost her mum... no I have already lost my wife to be exact. So do you think that makes me a good father?” Janet’s father smiled.
“Sorry Sir, I don’t know what happened between you and your wife so I can’t comment. All I know is she is still alive, your daughter can still see her one day. Unlike my wife who has passed away many years ago.”
“I’m sorry about that” Janet’s father came over to lay a pat on his shoulder.
“I don’t know how to face her… I promised her that I will take care of both our children. I promised her that I will not let them suffer but truth is… they never lived a day of happiness in their life”
Edwin’s father suddenly kneeled down at the door.
“I’m a simple man. I’ve never done anything to hurt anyone or do anything bad in my life. Why is heaven treating me like this? What wrong have I done? The only women whom I loved left me at such a young age. My daughter despised me, move out of the house because of our family’s condition and now my son is lying unconsciously inside.”
“Why….” Edwin’s father couldn’t control himself anymore.
A nurse on duty came out to see the commotion but was assured by Janet’s father that everything was alright.
“You need to get a hold of yourself and be strong for them; your children still needs you”
Janet’s father tried to lift him up but Edwin’s father seems inconsolable.
“Ah Pa…”
Edwin’s father stopped.
A teary Meiyee stood not far away, hiding behind entrance.
“Ah Pa… I’m sorry…”
She came over and hugged him as hard as she could.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Ah Pa, and I shouldn’t have left the house”
Edwin’s father was lost for words.
“I was thinking the whole night yesterday and I realized that this was not something that I wanted. I want a place where I can see you face every day never mind the groceries that is stacked all over”
“Ah Pa I never despised you. To me you are the greatest father a daughter can ask for, I’m really sorry for being childish yesterday”
“Please forgive me” Meiyee pleaded with her father.
“My Child, I wasn’t angry with you..No parent will be angry with their child regardless of what situation”
Meiyee helped her father on his feet again.
“Aunt Grace told you that we were here?” Meiyee nodded her head while wiping her tears.
“You have a very strong father and someone whom you should really be proud of”
Janet’s father spoke as Meiyee looked at him.
“Yes I know.. I heard everything when I was at the door. Perhaps I was fueled by the situations that happened yesterday that I shifted the blame on my father”
“Although I don’t have branded bags, latest mobile phones or sport the latest trend. I have a family that adores and care about me. A family that whom I will never leave them out of my sight again”
Janet spoke with guilt in her sentence and tried not to look into her father’s eye.
“Jie… Ah Pa.*cough* cough*”
The sound came from the room muted everyone outside and turned towards that direction.
Edwin was sitting up on his bed and let out a faint smile.
[To be Cont]
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密 Chapter 15 Prologue
Hi, can I tell you something?
Can you promise not to tell anyone?
Why?
Because it’s a secret.
I believe a lot of us grew up listening to this sentence.
It was so common during our younger days when we felt that secrets were something which is very special and should not be told to another person unnecessarily.
Instead, our secrets were traded.
“I’ll only tell you my secret if you tell me yours, first”
To our young and innocent minds, we often believed that secrets we said will not be told to another person. How wrong we were.
As we grew older, we don’t believe in that anymore.
We will feel that a secret is something which we will only tell certain people.
Perhaps we would only let our parents, our love ones or a very best friend know.
There are times however we realized that even our very best friends would not keep the secret that we entrusted to them.
We felt the hurt when someone else came to us asking about it.
As we entered adulthood, our secrets became a very personal thing.
These secrets are something which might has happened to us a long time ago. It could have been something unpleasant, something that we don’t want to rake it up all over again. It could have been a past relationship which you would not want your present partner to know.
For whatever reason it may be, we won’t really want to talk about it.
And so we sealed & locked our secrets away, buried deep inside our hearts.
Fearing that we do not have the courage to face it.
As more secrets were buried, our hearts slowly become a hurt locker waiting yearning for attention.
Over a while, we tend to forget about them and move on with life.
Until something happened that made us think back and pondered over the secrets that we buried deep.
What sort of secrets do you have?
Will you tell someone or will you bring it to you grave?
Will you smile knowing that it’s safe because no one else knows about it.
All of us have secrets, deep inside our hearts.
We kept them deep not because we don’t want anyone to find out, we are only waiting for the right person to tell…
Hi, can I tell you something?
Can you promise not to tell anyone?
Why?
Because it’s a secret.
I believe a lot of us grew up listening to this sentence.
It was so common during our younger days when we felt that secrets were something which is very special and should not be told to another person unnecessarily.
Instead, our secrets were traded.
“I’ll only tell you my secret if you tell me yours, first”
To our young and innocent minds, we often believed that secrets we said will not be told to another person. How wrong we were.
As we grew older, we don’t believe in that anymore.
We will feel that a secret is something which we will only tell certain people.
Perhaps we would only let our parents, our love ones or a very best friend know.
There are times however we realized that even our very best friends would not keep the secret that we entrusted to them.
We felt the hurt when someone else came to us asking about it.
As we entered adulthood, our secrets became a very personal thing.
These secrets are something which might has happened to us a long time ago. It could have been something unpleasant, something that we don’t want to rake it up all over again. It could have been a past relationship which you would not want your present partner to know.
For whatever reason it may be, we won’t really want to talk about it.
And so we sealed & locked our secrets away, buried deep inside our hearts.
Fearing that we do not have the courage to face it.
As more secrets were buried, our hearts slowly become a hurt locker waiting yearning for attention.
Over a while, we tend to forget about them and move on with life.
Until something happened that made us think back and pondered over the secrets that we buried deep.
What sort of secrets do you have?
Will you tell someone or will you bring it to you grave?
Will you smile knowing that it’s safe because no one else knows about it.
All of us have secrets, deep inside our hearts.
We kept them deep not because we don’t want anyone to find out, we are only waiting for the right person to tell…
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
[Our Parent’s advices]
A lot of us take advice seriously from our friends, our colleagues or classmates.
It could be regarding a new job offer or the girl whom you always want to know.
What should you do, how would you do it.
It’s not new to you because we are doing it almost every other day.
Our parents were among the first person we approached for an advice.
Most of the time, they would tell you what you shouldn’t be doing.
My mum is a typical negative minded person.
She would oppose in almost anything I want to do.
Like the design course I wanted to apply after O levels.
Like my choice of friends and the places I wanted to hang out.
She would say no to almost everything that came out from my mouth.
To her, having a steady job means more than anything in this life.
My passion, my dreams were something that is unpractical and perhaps unreasonable.
So I grew up my life listen to all her rejections even until this very day.
All my ventures, my proposals simply went down the drain the moment I speak to her.
My father on the other hand, never gives any advice.
He would only listen to what I want to say then let me say all the things I want.
Then he will not comment on it.
Normal reactions would be “Can do arh?”
You can say he’s more constructive in a way because he’s mentally challenging the possibilities in the problem.
There’s only one advice which he told me and sadly until today I still didn’t the importance of his advice.
“When are you going to get your driving license?”
I remembered he told me shortly after I came out from the army… almost 10years ago.
I would think it’s a bother to go through all the lessons and exams without the need of wanting a car. However, a license can be useful even if you don’t have a car.
My dad had the foresight and asked me to go for it.
I didn’t then, I had to now…
Looking forward, how will I advice my son one day?
If he comes to me with a problem, how would I help him?
If he comes to me with a passion, will I brush his hope away?
I hope not.
A lot of us failed to understand how much influence we have on others.
You'll never realized how much you can affect another person's emotions just by behaving negatively infront of him/her
A lot of us take advice seriously from our friends, our colleagues or classmates.
It could be regarding a new job offer or the girl whom you always want to know.
What should you do, how would you do it.
It’s not new to you because we are doing it almost every other day.
Our parents were among the first person we approached for an advice.
Most of the time, they would tell you what you shouldn’t be doing.
My mum is a typical negative minded person.
She would oppose in almost anything I want to do.
Like the design course I wanted to apply after O levels.
Like my choice of friends and the places I wanted to hang out.
She would say no to almost everything that came out from my mouth.
To her, having a steady job means more than anything in this life.
My passion, my dreams were something that is unpractical and perhaps unreasonable.
So I grew up my life listen to all her rejections even until this very day.
All my ventures, my proposals simply went down the drain the moment I speak to her.
My father on the other hand, never gives any advice.
He would only listen to what I want to say then let me say all the things I want.
Then he will not comment on it.
Normal reactions would be “Can do arh?”
You can say he’s more constructive in a way because he’s mentally challenging the possibilities in the problem.
There’s only one advice which he told me and sadly until today I still didn’t the importance of his advice.
“When are you going to get your driving license?”
I remembered he told me shortly after I came out from the army… almost 10years ago.
I would think it’s a bother to go through all the lessons and exams without the need of wanting a car. However, a license can be useful even if you don’t have a car.
My dad had the foresight and asked me to go for it.
I didn’t then, I had to now…
Looking forward, how will I advice my son one day?
If he comes to me with a problem, how would I help him?
If he comes to me with a passion, will I brush his hope away?
I hope not.
A lot of us failed to understand how much influence we have on others.
You'll never realized how much you can affect another person's emotions just by behaving negatively infront of him/her
Sunday, August 22, 2010
[ Leaving Home ]
“When are you finally going to clean up your room?”
My mum will nag about this all day long as I sank deep inside my own world.
“Maybe tomorrow…. ”
I guess this answer would come almost immediately as the dreadful noise pollution continues.
“If I feel like doing it….”
This would be the heart’s answer.
How I miss those words.
How I miss the 30 over years that I’ve stayed with my parents.
Maybe some of us will laugh at the fact everyone will go out and build their own home at certain points of their lives.
Being independent and growing up.
That’s adulthood and the true facts of life.
Recently I’ve finally moved out from my parents and have a place of my own with my wife. It took us a lot of effort to raise the funding to purchase our flat.
The first night of our stay, I couldn’t sleep.
I remembered that telling my wife that I missed mum’s nagging.
She would always nag across the room before we go to bed.
It would either be about my messy room, about me being overspending or simply complaining what a hard life she is having. Sometimes I would answer back with a sense of rebel and most of the time I will end up at the losing end.
It was all quiet as we switched off our lights.
No nagging, no complaining, no sound.
I know all of us always have the urge to leave home one day.
We know we will be the kings and queens of our own little palace.
We can cook whatever we want and we can always leave the cleaning to tomorrow.
That’s probably the good side.
I’ve realized there are so many things which I won’t have know until I moved out.
Doing your groceries shopping is an art.
Some days you can be at the supermarket and realize that there’s no vegetable at all.
Buying the correct things at the correct supermarket can save you some dollars.
Cooking is not putting in all the ingredients and expects it to turn nicely as how our mums would cook. Doing laundry and mopping the floor exerts more energy than climbing stairs.
As we slowly get use to managing the whole house ourselves, I learn to appreciate all the nagging that I used to have.
As far as I hate nagging, it is still a communication skill that only women perfect the art.
It is an art of driving a message across your ears, bypassing your logic senses and directly hit your brain and memory.
Somehow no matter where you go, how far you’ve been, you will always remember your mum’s nagging.
These days, we only go back on Sunday.
She doesn’t really nag anymore.
“When you step out of the house, you are an adult now. Soon you are going to be someone’s father; I don’t need to nag at you anymore”
I know I might be labeled a sissy in front of my friends
(ok never mind that, all of them don’t read my blog)
I missed her nagging and miss her.
Thanks for all the nag that I’ve received in my life.
You’ll never know how much you miss it until you missed it.
“When are you finally going to clean up your room?”
My mum will nag about this all day long as I sank deep inside my own world.
“Maybe tomorrow…. ”
I guess this answer would come almost immediately as the dreadful noise pollution continues.
“If I feel like doing it….”
This would be the heart’s answer.
How I miss those words.
How I miss the 30 over years that I’ve stayed with my parents.
Maybe some of us will laugh at the fact everyone will go out and build their own home at certain points of their lives.
Being independent and growing up.
That’s adulthood and the true facts of life.
Recently I’ve finally moved out from my parents and have a place of my own with my wife. It took us a lot of effort to raise the funding to purchase our flat.
The first night of our stay, I couldn’t sleep.
I remembered that telling my wife that I missed mum’s nagging.
She would always nag across the room before we go to bed.
It would either be about my messy room, about me being overspending or simply complaining what a hard life she is having. Sometimes I would answer back with a sense of rebel and most of the time I will end up at the losing end.
It was all quiet as we switched off our lights.
No nagging, no complaining, no sound.
I know all of us always have the urge to leave home one day.
We know we will be the kings and queens of our own little palace.
We can cook whatever we want and we can always leave the cleaning to tomorrow.
That’s probably the good side.
I’ve realized there are so many things which I won’t have know until I moved out.
Doing your groceries shopping is an art.
Some days you can be at the supermarket and realize that there’s no vegetable at all.
Buying the correct things at the correct supermarket can save you some dollars.
Cooking is not putting in all the ingredients and expects it to turn nicely as how our mums would cook. Doing laundry and mopping the floor exerts more energy than climbing stairs.
As we slowly get use to managing the whole house ourselves, I learn to appreciate all the nagging that I used to have.
As far as I hate nagging, it is still a communication skill that only women perfect the art.
It is an art of driving a message across your ears, bypassing your logic senses and directly hit your brain and memory.
Somehow no matter where you go, how far you’ve been, you will always remember your mum’s nagging.
These days, we only go back on Sunday.
She doesn’t really nag anymore.
“When you step out of the house, you are an adult now. Soon you are going to be someone’s father; I don’t need to nag at you anymore”
I know I might be labeled a sissy in front of my friends
(ok never mind that, all of them don’t read my blog)
I missed her nagging and miss her.
Thanks for all the nag that I’ve received in my life.
You’ll never know how much you miss it until you missed it.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
[A Letter to My Child – Part II]
Dear Son,
Time seems to move very fast when you are busy.
You are in your 31st week and we’ll be visiting the gyne later on.
Your mum and I have decided on your name.
You know, a name is the actually the first emotional gift that a parent gave it their child to unify the bond between them. Every individual child’s name is special in their parent’s ear and every name has a different meaning.
Perhaps due to the fact that I was born in an uneducated parents and being Taoist, there wasn’t any English name for me.
One of the earliest questions that I was ever asked was, “What’s the meaning of your name?”
I went home and asked my parents as I was totally unaware.
“Oh, cos one of cousin was named Wen Yi, so we followed his “Yi” and named you “Shun Yi” loh” my mum explained.
“Har? Like that only arh?” and I thought I was special.
“No lah, we want you to be filial and righteous that’s why we named you “顺义” which is 孝顺，讲义气!” my mum followed after seeing my dreadful look.
31 years on, I looked back and asked myself whether I’m a filial & righteous guy.
I hope I’m, I wish I’m more.
Your mum’s name” 红梅” was named by her grandfather.
Her explanation of her name’s origin was based on the first sight of the newborn where your great grandfather resembles one “林黛玉” character in Dream of the Red Chamber 红楼梦.
I never had a chance to ask him why he wanted to name her this way.
Both your dad and mum grew up using our English name rather than our given name.
But we’ll never forget the story and meaning behind our name.
We hope to give you a name which is meaningful yet unique and easy to call.
We want to name you “Alvy Lim”
It may make you sound like a branded bag but there is a special meaning behind this name.
Alvy is Anntonii Lim Vanilla Yu
Dear Son,
Time seems to move very fast when you are busy.
You are in your 31st week and we’ll be visiting the gyne later on.
Your mum and I have decided on your name.
You know, a name is the actually the first emotional gift that a parent gave it their child to unify the bond between them. Every individual child’s name is special in their parent’s ear and every name has a different meaning.
Perhaps due to the fact that I was born in an uneducated parents and being Taoist, there wasn’t any English name for me.
One of the earliest questions that I was ever asked was, “What’s the meaning of your name?”
I went home and asked my parents as I was totally unaware.
“Oh, cos one of cousin was named Wen Yi, so we followed his “Yi” and named you “Shun Yi” loh” my mum explained.
“Har? Like that only arh?” and I thought I was special.
“No lah, we want you to be filial and righteous that’s why we named you “顺义” which is 孝顺，讲义气!” my mum followed after seeing my dreadful look.
31 years on, I looked back and asked myself whether I’m a filial & righteous guy.
I hope I’m, I wish I’m more.
Your mum’s name” 红梅” was named by her grandfather.
Her explanation of her name’s origin was based on the first sight of the newborn where your great grandfather resembles one “林黛玉” character in Dream of the Red Chamber 红楼梦.
I never had a chance to ask him why he wanted to name her this way.
Both your dad and mum grew up using our English name rather than our given name.
But we’ll never forget the story and meaning behind our name.
We hope to give you a name which is meaningful yet unique and easy to call.
We want to name you “Alvy Lim”
It may make you sound like a branded bag but there is a special meaning behind this name.
Alvy is Anntonii Lim Vanilla Yu
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
[ A Letter To My Child - Part I ]
Dear Son,
The date is 20th July 2010 and if everything goes smoothly, you will witness the world in 3 months time.
I don’t know when you will be able to read this.
Maybe in a few years time,
Maybe when you are older and perhaps bump onto my website while you surf one day.
I don’t even know your name yet.
Daddy & Mummy just want to let you know that having you is the greatest thing that ever happened in our lives.
The first time when I realized that your mum was pregnant, I was too lost for words.
Fear and uncertainty soon creeps upon me slowly.
What was I suppose to do?
Am I financially capable of giving you the best education like the rest of the kids?
Am I able to guide you as you learned your first lesson?
Sometimes I wondered how my own dad overcame his anxiety, he probably don’t care anyways.
Your mum was not really well during the first 3months while you had you.
All she ate was only porridge and vegetables.
No matter how hard I tried, she just couldn’t fill herself up.
I think I was really fanatic as I’ve had her go on many blood tests to ensure everything’s ok.
I bought her a notebook and asked her to write the journal of your growth, she would carefully slot in those ultrasound photos of you and write her thoughts about it.
She won’t let me look at it.
“It’s a Mother to Son thing” she said.
Soon the 4th month came and your mum got better every day.
The ever-slim tummy of hers grew bit and bit as you slowly grow.
We moved into our own house during her 5th month.
Your mum would do her best to help out in the house moving as she would not let me single-handedly do it myself. She walked over 1 kilometer from your grandma’s place carrying our pillow and bed sheet.
Your mum is always alone at home with you as she’s not working. She would still do house chores and laundry while I work late. Despite how tired she looked, she would always cook something for me when I reached home at night.
We would then lie on the bed and talk till the wee hours about the stuff I did and what she do for the day. You seem to love to kick at her at 11pm she said.
As I ventured through this mystical ride, an unexplainably huge stress laid upon me.
I need time & money but I have none.
I had to work longer hours, always looking for other source of income to supplement the family.
As I worked longer hours, it would also mean that my time for your mum is less.
I had to borrow from people & banks, something which I never thought I will do in my life.
We had to sacrifice for each other and had to spend our money wisely.
Despite all these situations, we never once said we are going to give up.
I never will.
My Son,
You will grow up one day,
You will experience your first fall, you will realize pain is something that you don’t like.
But you must remember to get up and move on.
Life is not about moving but falling.
All of us learned from falling because it’s the first thing that happened when we started to walk.
Dear Son,
The date is 20th July 2010 and if everything goes smoothly, you will witness the world in 3 months time.
I don’t know when you will be able to read this.
Maybe in a few years time,
Maybe when you are older and perhaps bump onto my website while you surf one day.
I don’t even know your name yet.
Daddy & Mummy just want to let you know that having you is the greatest thing that ever happened in our lives.
The first time when I realized that your mum was pregnant, I was too lost for words.
Fear and uncertainty soon creeps upon me slowly.
What was I suppose to do?
Am I financially capable of giving you the best education like the rest of the kids?
Am I able to guide you as you learned your first lesson?
Sometimes I wondered how my own dad overcame his anxiety, he probably don’t care anyways.
Your mum was not really well during the first 3months while you had you.
All she ate was only porridge and vegetables.
No matter how hard I tried, she just couldn’t fill herself up.
I think I was really fanatic as I’ve had her go on many blood tests to ensure everything’s ok.
I bought her a notebook and asked her to write the journal of your growth, she would carefully slot in those ultrasound photos of you and write her thoughts about it.
She won’t let me look at it.
“It’s a Mother to Son thing” she said.
Soon the 4th month came and your mum got better every day.
The ever-slim tummy of hers grew bit and bit as you slowly grow.
We moved into our own house during her 5th month.
Your mum would do her best to help out in the house moving as she would not let me single-handedly do it myself. She walked over 1 kilometer from your grandma’s place carrying our pillow and bed sheet.
Your mum is always alone at home with you as she’s not working. She would still do house chores and laundry while I work late. Despite how tired she looked, she would always cook something for me when I reached home at night.
We would then lie on the bed and talk till the wee hours about the stuff I did and what she do for the day. You seem to love to kick at her at 11pm she said.
As I ventured through this mystical ride, an unexplainably huge stress laid upon me.
I need time & money but I have none.
I had to work longer hours, always looking for other source of income to supplement the family.
As I worked longer hours, it would also mean that my time for your mum is less.
I had to borrow from people & banks, something which I never thought I will do in my life.
We had to sacrifice for each other and had to spend our money wisely.
Despite all these situations, we never once said we are going to give up.
I never will.
My Son,
You will grow up one day,
You will experience your first fall, you will realize pain is something that you don’t like.
But you must remember to get up and move on.
Life is not about moving but falling.
All of us learned from falling because it’s the first thing that happened when we started to walk.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
[我的老婆]
我的老婆是一个
从小就被宠怀的小公主，也从小就会到处欺负人。
生气时就会在马路大喊大叫的人，
也会长长因为生别人的气而发泄在我身上。
很怕肥又不漂亮的人，也长长花一大堆钱买护肤品。
追求高素质生活的人，也想拥有一个漂亮美丽的家。
老是说我没用的人，也一直向往着更好的未来。
但她也是一个
为了我而远离父母的人，想念他们时也只能打个电话。
为了我而学习如何抄菜的人，当我饿了也会有一盘面吃。
为了我而压抑自己的开支，很多东西想买也只能等待。
最重要的，
她为了我们而怀了我们的宝贝。
我永远都不会知道，也不会感受到怀孕有多辛苦。
我只看到一开始就每天不舒服的她。
躺在床上，每天等我下班回家的样子。
吃也不多，喝也很少。
不过日子一天天的过去，她也好了很多。
现在也有点盼望我们的小宝贝的到来。
我知道我的人生又会有很大的改变。
钱可能也会有很大的问题。
不过这一些都比不上一个妈妈的决心。
因为我老婆曾经对我说，
"当一个女人肯为一个男人而怀孕生小孩时，
这就意味着她有多爱他。
因为当女人怀孕时，她们的心理和生理都会改变"
亲爱的老婆，母亲节快乐！
我的老婆是一个
从小就被宠怀的小公主，也从小就会到处欺负人。
生气时就会在马路大喊大叫的人，
也会长长因为生别人的气而发泄在我身上。
很怕肥又不漂亮的人，也长长花一大堆钱买护肤品。
追求高素质生活的人，也想拥有一个漂亮美丽的家。
老是说我没用的人，也一直向往着更好的未来。
但她也是一个
为了我而远离父母的人，想念他们时也只能打个电话。
为了我而学习如何抄菜的人，当我饿了也会有一盘面吃。
为了我而压抑自己的开支，很多东西想买也只能等待。
最重要的，
她为了我们而怀了我们的宝贝。
我永远都不会知道，也不会感受到怀孕有多辛苦。
我只看到一开始就每天不舒服的她。
躺在床上，每天等我下班回家的样子。
吃也不多，喝也很少。
不过日子一天天的过去，她也好了很多。
现在也有点盼望我们的小宝贝的到来。
我知道我的人生又会有很大的改变。
钱可能也会有很大的问题。
不过这一些都比不上一个妈妈的决心。
因为我老婆曾经对我说，
"当一个女人肯为一个男人而怀孕生小孩时，
这就意味着她有多爱他。
因为当女人怀孕时，她们的心理和生理都会改变"
亲爱的老婆，母亲节快乐！
Thursday, January 14, 2010
[简单的幸福]
你,恋爱过吗？
你,曾被爱伤害过吗？
如果你没被爱伤害过,那我觉得你不曾恋爱过吧。
看着那影片播放的爱情故事，我有些感动。
男女主角的恋情怎么都那么感人，那么浪漫呢？
可能是因为两个人之间的爱情的如果不能轰轰烈烈的，
那回忆时也没什么好留恋的吧。
认识我的人曾经问我，
为什么在我的故事里从来没有诉说起我跟我老婆的爱情故事呢？
她们都相信我们的爱情一定很浪漫，一定很精彩。因为我是一个懂爱的人。
很好笑的事，我们故事一点也不浪漫。
我任为两个人,不是一定要在一个很浪漫的地方或情况下结缘。
浪漫的爱情可能会是一段很平凡的相遇。
你可能很早就认识她，又或者你也记不起是什么时候认识她。
一段恋情，也不一定要经过生离死别才称得上是个浪漫小说。
世界上往往最简单的东西偶尔是最不起眼的。
而最不起眼的东西也是我们往往会忽略的。包括简单的恋爱。
今天是否跟他吃了一顿饭？
今天是否跟她看了一场电影？
吃饭，看电影不都是一直在做的事吗？
但你有没有想过，
如果有一天是你自己一个吃饭，一个看电影。
自己一个人做这些平凡的事时？
你会寂寞吗？
可能到那时候，你才会明白。
什么叫做简单的幸福。
简单的幸福：是每天早上醒来时，看着你的那一刻。
你,恋爱过吗？
你,曾被爱伤害过吗？
如果你没被爱伤害过,那我觉得你不曾恋爱过吧。
看着那影片播放的爱情故事，我有些感动。
男女主角的恋情怎么都那么感人，那么浪漫呢？
可能是因为两个人之间的爱情的如果不能轰轰烈烈的，
那回忆时也没什么好留恋的吧。
认识我的人曾经问我，
为什么在我的故事里从来没有诉说起我跟我老婆的爱情故事呢？
她们都相信我们的爱情一定很浪漫，一定很精彩。因为我是一个懂爱的人。
很好笑的事，我们故事一点也不浪漫。
我任为两个人,不是一定要在一个很浪漫的地方或情况下结缘。
浪漫的爱情可能会是一段很平凡的相遇。
你可能很早就认识她，又或者你也记不起是什么时候认识她。
一段恋情，也不一定要经过生离死别才称得上是个浪漫小说。
世界上往往最简单的东西偶尔是最不起眼的。
而最不起眼的东西也是我们往往会忽略的。包括简单的恋爱。
今天是否跟他吃了一顿饭？
今天是否跟她看了一场电影？
吃饭，看电影不都是一直在做的事吗？
但你有没有想过，
如果有一天是你自己一个吃饭，一个看电影。
自己一个人做这些平凡的事时？
你会寂寞吗？
可能到那时候，你才会明白。
什么叫做简单的幸福。
简单的幸福：是每天早上醒来时，看着你的那一刻。
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密
Chapter 14
I guess there are many who always wonder what it is like to live in a life when you are in a relationship. There would be someone who would take care of you; there will always be someone who will be in your mind as both of you parted ways.
If you have not been in a relationship before, you would think it’s like an ice-cream, so sweet and appealing that makes you happy the moment you got your hands to it. Every time when you see someone eating an ice-cream, you might swallow your saliva down to quench your desire.
The fact is you are probably right; a relationship is like an ice-cream. Not just the part when you look at someone having them but the challenge comes the moment you are holding onto it.
Of all things we know, ice-cream always melt faster than we could eat it. This is where the similarity of a relationship comes in place. Love appears the moment when two person comes together leaving all odds apart.
As times grew, there are many things which you would come to know regarding your partner and she will know many unpleasant past of you. Through acceptance comes the bonding of this relationship.
You would enjoy it sometimes; you would dislike it sometimes when it doesn’t go your way. Just like the ice-cream when it drips off your shirt. You might feel yourself like a complete idiot walking around with a stained shirt.
You looked at the melting ice-cream in your hands as you walked. How great difference it is the moment you got it and now. You feel frustrated because it is suppose to be an enjoyment as you’ve seen others having it. Finally you might throw the unfinished ice-cream away because it is not suppose to be the way you would want.
You would start looking for a new one.
Looking back in a relationship, there should be some reflection. We would not get what we always want; our feelings will deteriorate one day be it through time or faith and it is not as pleasant as we see others having it.
Would we end it because it is not something we want and look for a new one?
So what can we do?
We could at least enjoy it while it last.
Knowing that from the moment of having it, we remember the first taste that sets upon our tongue. We remembered the taste and feeling of the past and live to embrace it’s memories.
Even if it really ends one day, we know that we will never forget.
The memories of the relationship would put a smile back one day, when we forget about the sadness.
This is Love, nothing last forever but it existence among people will last a long time.
(This passage is dedicated My Uncle's wife who recently lost her husband through an illness. Though I don't know much about their relationship, I know my Uncle loves her very much. I knew because I ever read a peom he wrote for her during their courtship)
What does it mean to you when you are alone?
When you woke up in the late morning and realized that everyone has left the house?
Or when you decided to go for a movie alone only to realize that the whole theatre has no other soul but yourself?
What will you do when you realized you are alone?
Will you look for someone to accompany you for the rest of the day?
Or would you just enjoy the emptiness of space that you’ve gain and nobody is there to disturb you.
I have come to realize that a lot of us yearned to be alone most of the time but none of us really want to be lonely.
What was I doing before the van came?
Oh yeah, I just remembered.
Adrian and his friends were chasing me.
How unlucky to be hit by something which you never expected.
“Edwin!!”
Janet shouted from the bus stop opposite as she witness the accident.
A group of crowd gathered began to gather as Janet ran across the road.
Soon the irresistible gossip session begins as Edwin continued laid motionlessly.
“Oh this is a student from the school over there”
“What was he thinking? Didn’t he check?”
“I saw he was chased by a group of gangsters”
“Oh what happened? Extortion? Gang fight? He don’t really look like a gangster to me”
The driver was on the other side of the van trying to explain to another group of passerby that he was really innocent.
“Has anyone called an ambulance?”
Janet pleads as she pushed through the crowd.
“Oh my god, what happened?”
Janet looked at the pool of blood that was surrounding Edwin.
“Win…! Please don’t scare me…”
Janet’s hand was stained with blood as she touched him.
She was too shocked for any kind of emotional expression as she sat there with him. Trying to shake him every now and them for signs of life.
But there was no response from Edwin as he continued to lie there without moving a fringe.
The ambulance came within minutes and the paramedics shoved their way through the crowd that had gathered. One of them kneed down beside him and started examine for possible life.
“There’s still heart beat and he’s still breathing, hurry!”
One of the lady paramedics shouted to her colleagues to bring in the stretcher.
The paramedics quickly carried Edwin onto the stretcher and transferred him onto the ambulance. Just as they were leaving, Janet went up to one of the paramedics to allow her on board.
“Are you his kin? Sister?”
She was asked.
“No… but I know his father, let me go and I can contact him along the way, please”
Tears almost bust out from the edge of her eye.
“Ok, quick. We are rushing against time.”
The paramedic held her hand as she went up the ambulance.
The journey seemed forever as the ambulance turned on its siren to seek clearance of the road.
Everyone knows how important it is when the ambulance’s siren is horning. Someone’s onboard and his life is in great danger. Cars and Lorries tried to give ways as much as they could for the ambulance to maneuver through.
The internal atmosphere was a total contrast from the external traffic and sirens going on.
One paramedic was monitoring his heart pressure while the other was dressing smaller wounds.
Janet wished she could help in some ways but the situation was too much for her to handle. She could only hold his hands and pray within.
“God, if you ever exist. I don’t care how you see me. I know I’m not a good girl and I hate my own father. But please, for once… just for once, show me that you cared. Show your love to this poor child who is suffering in front of me. Please give him the strength… please don’t let him go….”
Janet was really clueless on whom she was praying to but for all it matters if there’s a God above, he would be something she really needs this very moment.
“I really need him…” she prayed in her heart.
The ambulance sped through the traffic within minutes as it arrives at the accident and emergency department at the hospital. There were already a group of nurses and doctor waiting for the victim as the paramedic brought down the stretcher and transferred to the hospital bed.
“Chinese male, 14yrs old, hit by van… back injuries, potential spinal.”
The doctor screen through the file with details of his injuries.
“Blood type, O-“
“Check his blood pressure and make sure we bring him out of this one. Lora go withdraw 1000ml of O- for standby.”
The doctor ordered his team as he led them to the operation theater.
Janet stood outside the waiting area aimlessly as the operations began. It took her almost ten minutes to clear her mind that she hasn’t informed Edwin’s father about the accident.
“Dad..?”
“Yes Janet? Is it important? I’m in a middle of a conference call”
“Edwin’s met with an accident and we’re currently at CGH A&E having operations”
Janet’s endurance finally bust as she wailed in front of her father.
“Ok, I’ll be there right away, have you called his parents?”
“I don’t know his house number, I don’t know anything”
Janet was at total lost.
“I’ll help you call the school up and ask them for his house number. I’ll go pick them up before I come here”
Janet didn’t say a word.
“There?”
“Thanks dad.”
She hung up the phone with a lighten heart.
Her father came together with Edwin’s father within half an hour.
“Is Ah Win inside?”
Edwin’s father eyes were reddened as Janet acknowledging the truth.
“What happened? What happened? Why it happened?”
Edwin’s father keeps shaking his head and mumbled to himself as he retreats to one corner of the waiting area. Suddenly he kneed down and clutched his palms together.
“Ti Gong , Goddess Kwan yim, please help my son pull through this. Please take 10 years away from me, no please take whatever I have remaining and give it to my son.”
Edwin’s father bow and knocked his head against the floor as he continued praying to the heavenly gods.
“Uncle, please”
Janet tried to help him up but he just kept praying and hitting his forehead harder to show his sincerity according to beliefs.
Janet’s father was sitting at the other corner looking up through the window. As he looked, his hand removed a necklace with a cross.
Janet’s father held tightly onto the cross and concentrate on a prayer with his eyes closed.
“Edwin, you can do it boy...” He said in whisper.
Everyone was praying for a miracle in that room.
A miracle that often failed to happen.
The vexed hearts waited for almost 5hours before the doctors finally came out.
Edwin’s father was the first to rush to the doctor for some answers.
“I’m his father, how is he?”
“You’re Mr. Ong? All our operations are considerably successful at this very moment. However…”
“Yes! My son’s ok!!” Edwin’s father rejoiced upon hearing the good news.
“Mr. Ong, Mr. Ong. Please listen”
The doctor tried to calm his joy.
“However, your son is still in a coma and still very critical. If he does not wake up after the next 48 hours, I won’t know when he will wake up”
The doctor let out a sigh as he finished his statement.
Edwin’s father’s smile was all gone as the bed was pushed out from the operations theater to the intensive care unit. There were drips of medicine and bandages all over his son as he covered his mouth and wept instantly on the sight.
“Ah boy, you will be ok. Ah Pa is here with you” His father held onto the moving bed frame along the way.
“Doc?”
Janet’s father went up to him.
“Yeah? You’re?”
“I’m… I’m his Uncle. He’s my brother’s son”
Janet’s father realized that using kinship was easier to discuss matters with doctors as they often will not reveal results or reports to friends or colleagues.
“I need to know more about his situation. What happened to him?”
“Can we discuss it over at my office?”
Janet overheard the conversation and tagged along her father.
The doctor showed a series of x-rays at his office to Janet and her father.
“The injuries sustained in this accident is one of the weirdest I’ve seen so far in my cause of work.”
The doctor used his pen to point out to the different slides of X-rays paraded.
“Although his limps and some part of his bones were fractured in the accident. All externals injuries sustained are really not life threatening.”
Janet looked at his father for response but he was too stunned for words.
“But his brains suffered the least from the accident; I have reasons to believe that the patient was knocked instantly on the back of his head.”
“You look at these two scan, we took one CT scan the moment he arrived in the hospital and it showed a few massive clots in the brain. When we operate on him, all clots were no longer there.”
The doctor circled the areas with his pen.
“It was as if the brain created the clot to absorb the pressure and protect itself… Hah! How could that possibly be?”
The doctor laughed and felt amused by his own theory.
“What are trying to say now doctor?”
Janet’s father wanted a concrete answer.
“We are confirmed that there were blood clots in his brains when he was here. Why is it there? I don’t know why is it not there now? I also don’t know. Will the clots come back? Maybe yes maybe not”
The doctor answered.
“This is why I said the next 48hrs is the most critical to see if he’s going to wake up.”
The doctor folded his arms.
Janet and her father came out more confused than before as they battled to understand the complicated theories on the clots. Though the clot issue was important, the critical thing now is Edwin must wake up from his coma.
“Uncle, how is he?”
Janet hand waved to ask as they stood outside the ICU ward as it is only meant for single visitor.
“He still hasn’t wake up”
Edwin’s father walked out from the ward.
“Janet, why don’t we go home rest first?”
Her father asked.
“Yeah, it’s ok. I’m here”
Edwin’s father assured her.
“Uncle, Can I go in and say something to Edwin before I go?”
Janet suggested.
Edwin’s father nodded and helped her put on the gowns and hair net before he stood outside the ward.
Janet walked towards the bed and lost for words on the tubing and equipments that were life supporting him.
She walked towards him and held his hand up.
“Win, be strong… I’ll be here to see you tomorrow”
Janet whispered.
As she was about to let go of her hand, Janet felt a sharp pain through her heart with a familiar voice ringing in her head.
*Don’t worry Jan, I will*
[To be Cont]
Chapter 14
I guess there are many who always wonder what it is like to live in a life when you are in a relationship. There would be someone who would take care of you; there will always be someone who will be in your mind as both of you parted ways.
If you have not been in a relationship before, you would think it’s like an ice-cream, so sweet and appealing that makes you happy the moment you got your hands to it. Every time when you see someone eating an ice-cream, you might swallow your saliva down to quench your desire.
The fact is you are probably right; a relationship is like an ice-cream. Not just the part when you look at someone having them but the challenge comes the moment you are holding onto it.
Of all things we know, ice-cream always melt faster than we could eat it. This is where the similarity of a relationship comes in place. Love appears the moment when two person comes together leaving all odds apart.
As times grew, there are many things which you would come to know regarding your partner and she will know many unpleasant past of you. Through acceptance comes the bonding of this relationship.
You would enjoy it sometimes; you would dislike it sometimes when it doesn’t go your way. Just like the ice-cream when it drips off your shirt. You might feel yourself like a complete idiot walking around with a stained shirt.
You looked at the melting ice-cream in your hands as you walked. How great difference it is the moment you got it and now. You feel frustrated because it is suppose to be an enjoyment as you’ve seen others having it. Finally you might throw the unfinished ice-cream away because it is not suppose to be the way you would want.
You would start looking for a new one.
Looking back in a relationship, there should be some reflection. We would not get what we always want; our feelings will deteriorate one day be it through time or faith and it is not as pleasant as we see others having it.
Would we end it because it is not something we want and look for a new one?
So what can we do?
We could at least enjoy it while it last.
Knowing that from the moment of having it, we remember the first taste that sets upon our tongue. We remembered the taste and feeling of the past and live to embrace it’s memories.
Even if it really ends one day, we know that we will never forget.
The memories of the relationship would put a smile back one day, when we forget about the sadness.
This is Love, nothing last forever but it existence among people will last a long time.
(This passage is dedicated My Uncle's wife who recently lost her husband through an illness. Though I don't know much about their relationship, I know my Uncle loves her very much. I knew because I ever read a peom he wrote for her during their courtship)
What does it mean to you when you are alone?
When you woke up in the late morning and realized that everyone has left the house?
Or when you decided to go for a movie alone only to realize that the whole theatre has no other soul but yourself?
What will you do when you realized you are alone?
Will you look for someone to accompany you for the rest of the day?
Or would you just enjoy the emptiness of space that you’ve gain and nobody is there to disturb you.
I have come to realize that a lot of us yearned to be alone most of the time but none of us really want to be lonely.
What was I doing before the van came?
Oh yeah, I just remembered.
Adrian and his friends were chasing me.
How unlucky to be hit by something which you never expected.
“Edwin!!”
Janet shouted from the bus stop opposite as she witness the accident.
A group of crowd gathered began to gather as Janet ran across the road.
Soon the irresistible gossip session begins as Edwin continued laid motionlessly.
“Oh this is a student from the school over there”
“What was he thinking? Didn’t he check?”
“I saw he was chased by a group of gangsters”
“Oh what happened? Extortion? Gang fight? He don’t really look like a gangster to me”
The driver was on the other side of the van trying to explain to another group of passerby that he was really innocent.
“Has anyone called an ambulance?”
Janet pleads as she pushed through the crowd.
“Oh my god, what happened?”
Janet looked at the pool of blood that was surrounding Edwin.
“Win…! Please don’t scare me…”
Janet’s hand was stained with blood as she touched him.
She was too shocked for any kind of emotional expression as she sat there with him. Trying to shake him every now and them for signs of life.
But there was no response from Edwin as he continued to lie there without moving a fringe.
The ambulance came within minutes and the paramedics shoved their way through the crowd that had gathered. One of them kneed down beside him and started examine for possible life.
“There’s still heart beat and he’s still breathing, hurry!”
One of the lady paramedics shouted to her colleagues to bring in the stretcher.
The paramedics quickly carried Edwin onto the stretcher and transferred him onto the ambulance. Just as they were leaving, Janet went up to one of the paramedics to allow her on board.
“Are you his kin? Sister?”
She was asked.
“No… but I know his father, let me go and I can contact him along the way, please”
Tears almost bust out from the edge of her eye.
“Ok, quick. We are rushing against time.”
The paramedic held her hand as she went up the ambulance.
The journey seemed forever as the ambulance turned on its siren to seek clearance of the road.
Everyone knows how important it is when the ambulance’s siren is horning. Someone’s onboard and his life is in great danger. Cars and Lorries tried to give ways as much as they could for the ambulance to maneuver through.
The internal atmosphere was a total contrast from the external traffic and sirens going on.
One paramedic was monitoring his heart pressure while the other was dressing smaller wounds.
Janet wished she could help in some ways but the situation was too much for her to handle. She could only hold his hands and pray within.
“God, if you ever exist. I don’t care how you see me. I know I’m not a good girl and I hate my own father. But please, for once… just for once, show me that you cared. Show your love to this poor child who is suffering in front of me. Please give him the strength… please don’t let him go….”
Janet was really clueless on whom she was praying to but for all it matters if there’s a God above, he would be something she really needs this very moment.
“I really need him…” she prayed in her heart.
The ambulance sped through the traffic within minutes as it arrives at the accident and emergency department at the hospital. There were already a group of nurses and doctor waiting for the victim as the paramedic brought down the stretcher and transferred to the hospital bed.
“Chinese male, 14yrs old, hit by van… back injuries, potential spinal.”
The doctor screen through the file with details of his injuries.
“Blood type, O-“
“Check his blood pressure and make sure we bring him out of this one. Lora go withdraw 1000ml of O- for standby.”
The doctor ordered his team as he led them to the operation theater.
Janet stood outside the waiting area aimlessly as the operations began. It took her almost ten minutes to clear her mind that she hasn’t informed Edwin’s father about the accident.
“Dad..?”
“Yes Janet? Is it important? I’m in a middle of a conference call”
“Edwin’s met with an accident and we’re currently at CGH A&E having operations”
Janet’s endurance finally bust as she wailed in front of her father.
“Ok, I’ll be there right away, have you called his parents?”
“I don’t know his house number, I don’t know anything”
Janet was at total lost.
“I’ll help you call the school up and ask them for his house number. I’ll go pick them up before I come here”
Janet didn’t say a word.
“There?”
“Thanks dad.”
She hung up the phone with a lighten heart.
Her father came together with Edwin’s father within half an hour.
“Is Ah Win inside?”
Edwin’s father eyes were reddened as Janet acknowledging the truth.
“What happened? What happened? Why it happened?”
Edwin’s father keeps shaking his head and mumbled to himself as he retreats to one corner of the waiting area. Suddenly he kneed down and clutched his palms together.
“Ti Gong , Goddess Kwan yim, please help my son pull through this. Please take 10 years away from me, no please take whatever I have remaining and give it to my son.”
Edwin’s father bow and knocked his head against the floor as he continued praying to the heavenly gods.
“Uncle, please”
Janet tried to help him up but he just kept praying and hitting his forehead harder to show his sincerity according to beliefs.
Janet’s father was sitting at the other corner looking up through the window. As he looked, his hand removed a necklace with a cross.
Janet’s father held tightly onto the cross and concentrate on a prayer with his eyes closed.
“Edwin, you can do it boy...” He said in whisper.
Everyone was praying for a miracle in that room.
A miracle that often failed to happen.
The vexed hearts waited for almost 5hours before the doctors finally came out.
Edwin’s father was the first to rush to the doctor for some answers.
“I’m his father, how is he?”
“You’re Mr. Ong? All our operations are considerably successful at this very moment. However…”
“Yes! My son’s ok!!” Edwin’s father rejoiced upon hearing the good news.
“Mr. Ong, Mr. Ong. Please listen”
The doctor tried to calm his joy.
“However, your son is still in a coma and still very critical. If he does not wake up after the next 48 hours, I won’t know when he will wake up”
The doctor let out a sigh as he finished his statement.
Edwin’s father’s smile was all gone as the bed was pushed out from the operations theater to the intensive care unit. There were drips of medicine and bandages all over his son as he covered his mouth and wept instantly on the sight.
“Ah boy, you will be ok. Ah Pa is here with you” His father held onto the moving bed frame along the way.
“Doc?”
Janet’s father went up to him.
“Yeah? You’re?”
“I’m… I’m his Uncle. He’s my brother’s son”
Janet’s father realized that using kinship was easier to discuss matters with doctors as they often will not reveal results or reports to friends or colleagues.
“I need to know more about his situation. What happened to him?”
“Can we discuss it over at my office?”
Janet overheard the conversation and tagged along her father.
The doctor showed a series of x-rays at his office to Janet and her father.
“The injuries sustained in this accident is one of the weirdest I’ve seen so far in my cause of work.”
The doctor used his pen to point out to the different slides of X-rays paraded.
“Although his limps and some part of his bones were fractured in the accident. All externals injuries sustained are really not life threatening.”
Janet looked at his father for response but he was too stunned for words.
“But his brains suffered the least from the accident; I have reasons to believe that the patient was knocked instantly on the back of his head.”
“You look at these two scan, we took one CT scan the moment he arrived in the hospital and it showed a few massive clots in the brain. When we operate on him, all clots were no longer there.”
The doctor circled the areas with his pen.
“It was as if the brain created the clot to absorb the pressure and protect itself… Hah! How could that possibly be?”
The doctor laughed and felt amused by his own theory.
“What are trying to say now doctor?”
Janet’s father wanted a concrete answer.
“We are confirmed that there were blood clots in his brains when he was here. Why is it there? I don’t know why is it not there now? I also don’t know. Will the clots come back? Maybe yes maybe not”
The doctor answered.
“This is why I said the next 48hrs is the most critical to see if he’s going to wake up.”
The doctor folded his arms.
Janet and her father came out more confused than before as they battled to understand the complicated theories on the clots. Though the clot issue was important, the critical thing now is Edwin must wake up from his coma.
“Uncle, how is he?”
Janet hand waved to ask as they stood outside the ICU ward as it is only meant for single visitor.
“He still hasn’t wake up”
Edwin’s father walked out from the ward.
“Janet, why don’t we go home rest first?”
Her father asked.
“Yeah, it’s ok. I’m here”
Edwin’s father assured her.
“Uncle, Can I go in and say something to Edwin before I go?”
Janet suggested.
Edwin’s father nodded and helped her put on the gowns and hair net before he stood outside the ward.
Janet walked towards the bed and lost for words on the tubing and equipments that were life supporting him.
She walked towards him and held his hand up.
“Win, be strong… I’ll be here to see you tomorrow”
Janet whispered.
As she was about to let go of her hand, Janet felt a sharp pain through her heart with a familiar voice ringing in her head.
*Don’t worry Jan, I will*
[To be Cont]
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Secrets of the Heart - 心の秘密
Chapter 13
Everyone that I know believes that love is something that everyone should witness and experienced at some point of their life. It is often believed that ‘one will know the meaning of life when he seek and understand what true love is’.
Throughout my years of search, I have come across amazing stories about love. I have seen and heard many individuals doing incredible things just for that someone that he or she treasured the most.
Many people told me their beliefs and theories on what true love should be, as well as many of those who asked me what I think about love.
I often tell people that it is very difficult that two persons of different lifestyle and background come to know each other, let alone be together.
Fate is finding that someone whom you treasure.
Who you are will determine the treasure is for yourself.
Today I witnessed the wedding ceremony of a couple close to me.
The solemnizer reminded us the whole purpose of the marriage ceremony is to ensure that there is no ‘forced’ marriage between any two individuals under the laws of Singapore. I silently laughed to that, knowing that there shouldn’t be such cases nowadays I hoped.
As I sat back and listened to their exchange of marriage vows, each ending with ‘I do’ and ‘I will’ respectively.
It almost same with the one I took two years ago when we decided to tie the knot.
I took a quick look at my wife then I looked at the couple.
In my mind, I suddenly thought about the vows that all couples made before they are ‘pronounced’ as husband and wife.
What is the purpose of having one?
Why must one made a promise to love another regardless of who you are and what you will become?
Do we all need to make promises in love?
When love in all our minds is supposed to be self responsible and magically defined?
There are a lot of people who believe that love happens the moment that you’ve found that someone.
I believe love starts when two becomes one.
When the two of you finally live together and facing each other almost every minute of the day. You would realize that there are many things and habits which you never know. She would realize how stingy you have suddenly become.
There will be comparison between each other.
Which sometimes led to argument?
Might sometimes lead to a period of cold war.
Would sometimes result in a bitter end of a relationship.
When that happens, will anyone remember that he/she took a faithful vow infront of God and all the people who attended the ceremony?
I vow to take this lovely lady as my beloved bride.
Whom I promise to take care of her through good and bad times, though health and sickness and whom I promise to be faithful always.
This is Love… by vow only.
The school bell rang at the stroke of half past ten to signal the end of recession time. The students dragged their feet head back to their classrooms for the latter half of the educational dosage.
The corridor was extremely quiet as the teachers went back to their classrooms for the next lesson. The four late students were made to stand at the four pillars outside the principals' office till lunch time as a punishment.
The pillars spread the four of them like the four corners of the sea, each equally distanced from each other yet clearly in the visible path.
“You’re Edwin?”
Adrian was clearly the one with the least patience as he stared into Edwin’s face.
Edwin nodded quietly in acknowledgement, without exchanging glances.
“Why were you with Janet?”
“I… I… er”
Edwin was clearly loss for words thinking of the punishment that was coming.
“So?”
“Erm… we overslept…”
Edwin quickly shot an answer to Adrian.
Adrian ran towards him and grabbed hold of his shirt.
“What the fuck you mean overslept? You slept with Janet?”
Adrian was about to throw a punch at the helpless Edwin when he felt someone holding him back.
“Adrian, stop it please. Don’t be mistaken”
“Jan? What mistaken?”
“We overslept on the bus you idiot. Edwin is not those people so please stop whatever you are going to do”
“Hahahhaah, one of THOSE people”
Jolynn suddenly laughed.
“Adrian quick, someone’s coming”
Jolynn alerted the trio in the tussle.
Adrian and Janet quickly walked back to their respective pillars as a group of teachers walked past them.
“Edwin? Why are you doing here?”
Miss Lee was shell shocked to see one of her top students standing in front of the principal’s office.
“Miss Lee, sorry but I was late for school today”
“Something must had happened, Edwin, why didn’t you explain to the principal?”
“Nope, nothing happened. Just overslept on the bus”
The more she asked, the more guilt he felt.
“Oh my, you must have study too late in the night again huh? Why are you standing together with these students over there?”
Miss Lee pointed at the different pillars.
“Hey, Miss.. what you mean by these students?”
Jolynn overheard as she was the closest to Edwin’s pillar.
“Erh.. We just happen to be late together”
“Good… Please make sure this won’t happen again ok?”
Miss Lee gave a pat on Edwin’s shoulder as she walked towards her office.
The rest of the day went by slowly, as different group of students gawked at them and whispered among them.
“The four of you, come inside the office now.”
The discipline master ordered.
“You know why we are so strict about lateness?”
The principal looked at them for answers as the four of them stared at each other blank.
“Being late itself symbolize one’s unprepared for the upcoming event. If you are not prepared for the road ahead, how would you prepare yourself for your life ahead?”
The principal paused for a moment.
“Even King Louis XVIII of France once said, ‘Punctuality is the politeness of kings.’”
“We are truly sorry, Sir. We will make it a point to come in early for class from now on”
Janet spoke on behalf of the group.
“I want the four of you to write me an essay on “How to better prepare yourself” and submit to me by next week and please submit original work.”
The four of them then left the principal’s room and went back to their respective class.
Edwin and Janet walked separately from the other two as they were having music lesson till end of school.
“Win…”
“Yeah?”
Edwin looked back.
“Sorry again…”
Janet couldn’t help but felt that all the bad things that happened to Edwin was because of her.
“It’s ok, nothing’s happened? We only missed today’s lesson only mah”
Edwin tried to comfort her again.
“Besides.. I’ve already self-revised this whole week’s lesson at home so it’s not a big deal. I can teach you if you want?”
“It’s ok, I don’t feel like studying”
“Huh? Why?”
“Nothing, just have this feeling that I’m bond all the limitations in school, in life by my dad. I was asking myself whether my whole life would become like that.”
“A life that had nothing but rules, there’ll always be someone to tell you what to do, when to do and all the things that you are not suppose to do.”
“I hate myself”
Edwin suddenly did something which he wasn’t prepared.
He held her hand.
“You know, there were times when I used to think this way too. My life has nothing, no money, no toys and actually not much friends. Then…”
“Then?”
Janet asked.
“Then you came along… you showed me a different side of the world which I had all along.”
“Perhaps this is life, where happiness is at our back. We always see other people’s back and admired their happiness without realizing that a lot of people are also admiring what we have.”
They continued their journey.
“Perhaps you are right”
“Don’t worry; your life will be great.”
Edwin continued.
“You promised?”
Janet asked.
“Yeah I promised”
Edwin let out a huge smile.
“Win…”
“Yeah?”
“How well you know about the school rules?”
“Oh… very well I suppose.. how come?”
“You know… students are not supposed to hold hands in school right?”
“Oh no!”
Edwin quickly released Janet’s hand as they almost reached the music class.
“Haha! You are blushing again! Your face so red”
Edwin just looked down.
“You look so cute when you blushed! Haha”
Janet whispered to him before she opened the door to the music class.
The last two hours of the day was one of Edwin’s least favorite as he was unable to excel in any musical instruments that was taught. However, Janet was really good with the piano and she was certainly one of the music teacher’s favorite students.
“Janet, would you like to play us a tune before we call it a day?”
Everyone in class cheered for their piano princess.
“Oh… ok”
Janet lilted the cover and laid her fingers on the keyboard.
“Hmmm… This song is something which I composed and hope to dedicate to someone special…”
The whole class was quiet and soon came the sound of the first note.
Soon enough, the class was wowed by her as Janet began her masterful display of musical talent, if there were anyone that can match Edwin’s academicals it had to be Janet’s musical grades.
Janet picked up piano at the age of four and it was in fact one of her first toy to play with.
Half the influence also came from her mum who was a well known pianist in her days.
School was over and all the students were on their way home.
“Janet, you are so great in piano. I bet I won’t be able to play like you this life”
Edwin commented on her previous performance.
“Thanks! Too bad I can’t let you copy in music class”
“It’s ok, I will try my best.
“Ok, I’ll be waiting for Jolynn.”
“Yeah, ok. I’m going to the library so I had to go to the other bus stop. See you”
Edwin waved goodbye to Janet as they walked separately.
As he reached the bus stop, he was caught by the stares of a few students.
One of them was Adrian, the guy who was punished together this morning.
“Are you Edwin?”
One of them asked.
“Yeah, can I help you?”
Edwin felt threatened by the surrounded group.
“Oh, we just want to invite you to a little conversation.”
One of the taller guys roped his arm around Edwin’s neck and ushered him away.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hey Jolynn, what took you so long?”
Janet asked when she came.
“Oh, just went to the toilet.”
“By the way, have you seen Adrian?”
Janet began her real intention.
“Nope. Why?”
“Er.. nothing. Cos two of you same class mah. Thought you would have seen him”
The two of them began to walk towards to their bus stop.
“He told me he got some business to settle and he went off early.”
“Ok… By the way Jolynn…”
“Yeah?”
“Thought you said you not coming to school today? Why were you with Adrian?”
------------------------------------------------------
The whole group came to the void deck of the neighborhood block.
There were 5 of them, shirts tucked out from their attire and few of them were smoking.
Passerby looked on but hurried away.
Adrian was sitting in the middle of the group.
“Edwin, how well do you know Janet?”
“Eh… we are just classmates.”
“Classmates got so close together?”
One of them asked.
“Really… we are just classmates. I help her with her studies that’s all”
“Can you stay away from her?”
Adrian asked politely.
“Ehh…”
“Don’t make us make you to promise that”
One of them threw away his cigarette butt.
“I don’t want to promise anything…”
Edwin grabbed his bag and ran away from the group.
The group gave chase.
--------------------------------------------------------
“Jan…”
“I thought you already told me that you don’t like Adrian anymore?”
“Errhh…”
“Why are you asking so much again?”
“I’m sorry Jolynn, I was really curious that’s all”
Janet was disgusted with her contradiction.
“Hey there’s a fight going on opposite side”
Someone changed the two girl’s attention.
“Hey it’s Edwin”
Janet exclaimed.
“Adrian and his friends are going after him?”
Jolynn added.
Edwin was running like he never ran before, like a frightened kitten being chased by a pack of ferocious hounds .
“Shit.. I need to get to the other side of the road.”
Edwin thought as he dashed across the road.
*Thump*
An oncoming van hit him on the side as he dashed through.
“Shit!”
Adrian and the rest ran separate ways as the traffic came to a halt.
“Edwin!!”
Janet shouted from the opposite side of the road.
[To be Cont]
Chapter 13
Everyone that I know believes that love is something that everyone should witness and experienced at some point of their life. It is often believed that ‘one will know the meaning of life when he seek and understand what true love is’.
Throughout my years of search, I have come across amazing stories about love. I have seen and heard many individuals doing incredible things just for that someone that he or she treasured the most.
Many people told me their beliefs and theories on what true love should be, as well as many of those who asked me what I think about love.
I often tell people that it is very difficult that two persons of different lifestyle and background come to know each other, let alone be together.
Fate is finding that someone whom you treasure.
Who you are will determine the treasure is for yourself.
Today I witnessed the wedding ceremony of a couple close to me.
The solemnizer reminded us the whole purpose of the marriage ceremony is to ensure that there is no ‘forced’ marriage between any two individuals under the laws of Singapore. I silently laughed to that, knowing that there shouldn’t be such cases nowadays I hoped.
As I sat back and listened to their exchange of marriage vows, each ending with ‘I do’ and ‘I will’ respectively.
It almost same with the one I took two years ago when we decided to tie the knot.
I took a quick look at my wife then I looked at the couple.
In my mind, I suddenly thought about the vows that all couples made before they are ‘pronounced’ as husband and wife.
What is the purpose of having one?
Why must one made a promise to love another regardless of who you are and what you will become?
Do we all need to make promises in love?
When love in all our minds is supposed to be self responsible and magically defined?
There are a lot of people who believe that love happens the moment that you’ve found that someone.
I believe love starts when two becomes one.
When the two of you finally live together and facing each other almost every minute of the day. You would realize that there are many things and habits which you never know. She would realize how stingy you have suddenly become.
There will be comparison between each other.
Which sometimes led to argument?
Might sometimes lead to a period of cold war.
Would sometimes result in a bitter end of a relationship.
When that happens, will anyone remember that he/she took a faithful vow infront of God and all the people who attended the ceremony?
I vow to take this lovely lady as my beloved bride.
Whom I promise to take care of her through good and bad times, though health and sickness and whom I promise to be faithful always.
This is Love… by vow only.
The school bell rang at the stroke of half past ten to signal the end of recession time. The students dragged their feet head back to their classrooms for the latter half of the educational dosage.
The corridor was extremely quiet as the teachers went back to their classrooms for the next lesson. The four late students were made to stand at the four pillars outside the principals' office till lunch time as a punishment.
The pillars spread the four of them like the four corners of the sea, each equally distanced from each other yet clearly in the visible path.
“You’re Edwin?”
Adrian was clearly the one with the least patience as he stared into Edwin’s face.
Edwin nodded quietly in acknowledgement, without exchanging glances.
“Why were you with Janet?”
“I… I… er”
Edwin was clearly loss for words thinking of the punishment that was coming.
“So?”
“Erm… we overslept…”
Edwin quickly shot an answer to Adrian.
Adrian ran towards him and grabbed hold of his shirt.
“What the fuck you mean overslept? You slept with Janet?”
Adrian was about to throw a punch at the helpless Edwin when he felt someone holding him back.
“Adrian, stop it please. Don’t be mistaken”
“Jan? What mistaken?”
“We overslept on the bus you idiot. Edwin is not those people so please stop whatever you are going to do”
“Hahahhaah, one of THOSE people”
Jolynn suddenly laughed.
“Adrian quick, someone’s coming”
Jolynn alerted the trio in the tussle.
Adrian and Janet quickly walked back to their respective pillars as a group of teachers walked past them.
“Edwin? Why are you doing here?”
Miss Lee was shell shocked to see one of her top students standing in front of the principal’s office.
“Miss Lee, sorry but I was late for school today”
“Something must had happened, Edwin, why didn’t you explain to the principal?”
“Nope, nothing happened. Just overslept on the bus”
The more she asked, the more guilt he felt.
“Oh my, you must have study too late in the night again huh? Why are you standing together with these students over there?”
Miss Lee pointed at the different pillars.
“Hey, Miss.. what you mean by these students?”
Jolynn overheard as she was the closest to Edwin’s pillar.
“Erh.. We just happen to be late together”
“Good… Please make sure this won’t happen again ok?”
Miss Lee gave a pat on Edwin’s shoulder as she walked towards her office.
The rest of the day went by slowly, as different group of students gawked at them and whispered among them.
“The four of you, come inside the office now.”
The discipline master ordered.
“You know why we are so strict about lateness?”
The principal looked at them for answers as the four of them stared at each other blank.
“Being late itself symbolize one’s unprepared for the upcoming event. If you are not prepared for the road ahead, how would you prepare yourself for your life ahead?”
The principal paused for a moment.
“Even King Louis XVIII of France once said, ‘Punctuality is the politeness of kings.’”
“We are truly sorry, Sir. We will make it a point to come in early for class from now on”
Janet spoke on behalf of the group.
“I want the four of you to write me an essay on “How to better prepare yourself” and submit to me by next week and please submit original work.”
The four of them then left the principal’s room and went back to their respective class.
Edwin and Janet walked separately from the other two as they were having music lesson till end of school.
“Win…”
“Yeah?”
Edwin looked back.
“Sorry again…”
Janet couldn’t help but felt that all the bad things that happened to Edwin was because of her.
“It’s ok, nothing’s happened? We only missed today’s lesson only mah”
Edwin tried to comfort her again.
“Besides.. I’ve already self-revised this whole week’s lesson at home so it’s not a big deal. I can teach you if you want?”
“It’s ok, I don’t feel like studying”
“Huh? Why?”
“Nothing, just have this feeling that I’m bond all the limitations in school, in life by my dad. I was asking myself whether my whole life would become like that.”
“A life that had nothing but rules, there’ll always be someone to tell you what to do, when to do and all the things that you are not suppose to do.”
“I hate myself”
Edwin suddenly did something which he wasn’t prepared.
He held her hand.
“You know, there were times when I used to think this way too. My life has nothing, no money, no toys and actually not much friends. Then…”
“Then?”
Janet asked.
“Then you came along… you showed me a different side of the world which I had all along.”
“Perhaps this is life, where happiness is at our back. We always see other people’s back and admired their happiness without realizing that a lot of people are also admiring what we have.”
They continued their journey.
“Perhaps you are right”
“Don’t worry; your life will be great.”
Edwin continued.
“You promised?”
Janet asked.
“Yeah I promised”
Edwin let out a huge smile.
“Win…”
“Yeah?”
“How well you know about the school rules?”
“Oh… very well I suppose.. how come?”
“You know… students are not supposed to hold hands in school right?”
“Oh no!”
Edwin quickly released Janet’s hand as they almost reached the music class.
“Haha! You are blushing again! Your face so red”
Edwin just looked down.
“You look so cute when you blushed! Haha”
Janet whispered to him before she opened the door to the music class.
The last two hours of the day was one of Edwin’s least favorite as he was unable to excel in any musical instruments that was taught. However, Janet was really good with the piano and she was certainly one of the music teacher’s favorite students.
“Janet, would you like to play us a tune before we call it a day?”
Everyone in class cheered for their piano princess.
“Oh… ok”
Janet lilted the cover and laid her fingers on the keyboard.
“Hmmm… This song is something which I composed and hope to dedicate to someone special…”
The whole class was quiet and soon came the sound of the first note.
Soon enough, the class was wowed by her as Janet began her masterful display of musical talent, if there were anyone that can match Edwin’s academicals it had to be Janet’s musical grades.
Janet picked up piano at the age of four and it was in fact one of her first toy to play with.
Half the influence also came from her mum who was a well known pianist in her days.
School was over and all the students were on their way home.
“Janet, you are so great in piano. I bet I won’t be able to play like you this life”
Edwin commented on her previous performance.
“Thanks! Too bad I can’t let you copy in music class”
“It’s ok, I will try my best.
“Ok, I’ll be waiting for Jolynn.”
“Yeah, ok. I’m going to the library so I had to go to the other bus stop. See you”
Edwin waved goodbye to Janet as they walked separately.
As he reached the bus stop, he was caught by the stares of a few students.
One of them was Adrian, the guy who was punished together this morning.
“Are you Edwin?”
One of them asked.
“Yeah, can I help you?”
Edwin felt threatened by the surrounded group.
“Oh, we just want to invite you to a little conversation.”
One of the taller guys roped his arm around Edwin’s neck and ushered him away.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hey Jolynn, what took you so long?”
Janet asked when she came.
“Oh, just went to the toilet.”
“By the way, have you seen Adrian?”
Janet began her real intention.
“Nope. Why?”
“Er.. nothing. Cos two of you same class mah. Thought you would have seen him”
The two of them began to walk towards to their bus stop.
“He told me he got some business to settle and he went off early.”
“Ok… By the way Jolynn…”
“Yeah?”
“Thought you said you not coming to school today? Why were you with Adrian?”
------------------------------------------------------
The whole group came to the void deck of the neighborhood block.
There were 5 of them, shirts tucked out from their attire and few of them were smoking.
Passerby looked on but hurried away.
Adrian was sitting in the middle of the group.
“Edwin, how well do you know Janet?”
“Eh… we are just classmates.”
“Classmates got so close together?”
One of them asked.
“Really… we are just classmates. I help her with her studies that’s all”
“Can you stay away from her?”
Adrian asked politely.
“Ehh…”
“Don’t make us make you to promise that”
One of them threw away his cigarette butt.
“I don’t want to promise anything…”
Edwin grabbed his bag and ran away from the group.
The group gave chase.
--------------------------------------------------------
“Jan…”
“I thought you already told me that you don’t like Adrian anymore?”
“Errhh…”
“Why are you asking so much again?”
“I’m sorry Jolynn, I was really curious that’s all”
Janet was disgusted with her contradiction.
“Hey there’s a fight going on opposite side”
Someone changed the two girl’s attention.
“Hey it’s Edwin”
Janet exclaimed.
“Adrian and his friends are going after him?”
Jolynn added.
Edwin was running like he never ran before, like a frightened kitten being chased by a pack of ferocious hounds .
“Shit.. I need to get to the other side of the road.”
Edwin thought as he dashed across the road.
*Thump*
An oncoming van hit him on the side as he dashed through.
“Shit!”
Adrian and the rest ran separate ways as the traffic came to a halt.
“Edwin!!”
Janet shouted from the opposite side of the road.
[To be Cont]
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Journal of Life ~ The Man in Your life
Did you ever realize that, throughout your life there is someone who’s looking after you secretly and quietly. This person would probably be the first person for you to ask for money to buy your favorite stuffs.
There is a person in each and everyone’s lives, a very important man whom we all sometimes failed to realize the importance until perhaps they are gone forever. This is the person whom gave you the very existence of life but normally came second rated when it comes to recognition for love.
How well may I ask, that you understand your father?
He could be a person whom you seldom talk to. The stern and unfriendly stares that shoot you the moment you leave the house. He would be a person who might never ask you how’s work or how are things in school, except when it comes to your grades.
Everyone has their side to tell.
For me, I seldom talk to my father except when it comes to explaining letters which he can’t understand. He told me that one of the reasons that he sent me to school was to help him read those ‘ang mo’ letters that he failed to understand each time.
I’ve never told him that I respect him or love him before. This is the way I was brought up; our expression of family love may not be affectionately.
Due to his work, I hardly had the luxury of my father sending me to school. The only time he picked me up after school was during primary three. He would always stand at that exact same location waiting for me and always bring me to the exact same chicken rice stall without fail. I used to think he loves the chicken rice very much but latter I realized he thought I loved eating it.
Maybe it’s because I’m a guy too and it’s kind of weird to start the ‘I love you dad’ thingy. When it comes to family affection, usually it’s my mum who got all the credit.
Deep down, I know that it must have been very hard for him to struggle and support the family.
It is not easy, as I venture through the valley of uncertainty when I started work. Asking money from your parents is perhaps the easiest source of income that you’ve ever come to realize.
It is not easy, to work 12 hours per night, 360days a year for almost 20years just to rest for 5 days during Lunar New Year.
It is not easy to deal with all the aunties that swarmed to the market looking for the freshest fish. Sometimes you would be blamed for forgetting to reserve some fish for them and they would speak ill of you behind your back.
It is not easy to source for the freshest fish to sell and let alone processing them. There were countless of times when he cut himself while cutting a fish. The worst period was a one week infection on his thumb caused by a fish bone.
However…
It was easy though, for me to ask him to buy me a $3000 personal computer when I entered poly which I used it more for games than for ‘school related’ purpose.
It was easy, for me to ask him to support me for my further education without even checking with him whether he has money.
It was easiest, for me to ask him to support me for my wedding preparations incase I ran out of money.
All these happened probably because he was my dad, someone whom I would ask shamelessly for money when I’m in need.
I’m blissful and fortunate that my father is still in relatively good health, except for high blood pressure medication which he has to take to control his blood pressure.
During the last few months, I can genuinely see the joy from him and all the efforts that he is putting in for my wedding preparations.
Someday, I would become someone’s father. Will I be a good father and take care of my children tirelessly?
It is very easy to forget how much effort and hard work that all our fathers have put into our family.
For guys, I’ve figured that you don’t really need to tell them that you love them. You can massage his back for him. You can sit down and talk to him or just give a tap on his shoulder.
I know you father will know and understands.
For your father, chosen by God, is the creator of your life.
Sometimes we only know his very existence but never realized his importance.
Happy Fathers Day, 21st June 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
